These Foolish Things (27 page)

She couldn’t remember the last time she’d eaten a square
meal. Since she’d left Wellesley, Liz had existed in a gray twilight of anxiety
and depression. She went in early to the office, stayed late, politely declined
to join the other clerks for Friday afternoon drinks or socializing. She
sleepwalked through life.

Millie and John’s wedding had been beautiful. The only
awkward moment had come during the bouquet toss. Liz had been pushed onto the
floor by well-meaning friends, intending to just stand there and applaud. Liz
had caught the spray of lilies and roses when she’d put up her hands to protect
her face. Millie and Liz had exchanged a long look as Liz handed the flowers to
Millie’s 8 year old niece and excused herself. She’d had to run outside to
compose herself. Maybe it was too soon or maybe it ran too deep, but instead of
subsiding, the pain and grief increased.

A split second before she opened the door, Liz took a deep
breath to gain composure and to mentally utter a curse on whomever was
interrupting her work. Big, pleasant smile plastered on her face (she hoped),
Liz opened the door. What she saw caused the smile to disappear.

It was Ty.

Liz just stood and stared. Tyrone, her Tyrone, stood on the
front step tanned, bearded and holding a kitten.

He had a homemade sign around his neck that read “In Need of
a Good Home (Both of Us).”

“Can we come in?” he asked. Liz opened the door, still too
stunned for words. At least, as Ty passed her, he didn’t try to kiss her, thank
God. She couldn’t have handled it. Two months since she’d left him and not a
word, no phone calls, letters, nothing. Now here he was, casual, relaxed,
looking far better than he had the last time she’d seen him and as irresistible
as ever.

Liz, as usual, was at a disadvantage: sweaty, no makeup,
wild hair, two months of bad sleep showing on her face and she was dressed in
her house cleaning uniform of gym shorts and ratty T-shirt. Liz closed the door
after Ty and braced herself. She wasn’t ready for this confrontation, not by a
long shot. She had half-expected never to see him again and had been fighting
to put him out of her mind.

“Ty.”

That was all she could manage. What do you say to a man you
love desperately, but had to leave to save yourself?

“Liz.” The tone was casual enough, even mocking hers
slightly, but Ty was watching her face closely. Liz knew that look. Keen
observation carefully hidden behind a casual exterior. His litigator’s face.
Apparently, though, some tension in his body was making its way into his hands.
The kitten began to squeak and mew at being squeezed.

Liz looked at him. “What’s that? The Trojan kitten?”

Ty held the kitten out to Liz. “I’d like you to meet Norton.”
Liz accepted Norton, who wrapped oversized paws around her hand and began
licking her fingers, purring loudly. Just like Beanie. She had to bite back her
angry tears.

“He’s beautiful, Ty, but I don’t want…”

“Fine. I have a huge scratching post that needs a cat.” Still
the close examination. Liz couldn’t meet his gaze. She knew she’d throw herself
into his arms and sob hysterically if he made one wrong move. Like smiling
again. Or touching her.

“Look, why don’t we let him go play while we talk?” Ty
carefully took Norton from Liz’s hands and put him on the floor. Norton
scampered upstairs to explore. Once he disappeared from sight, the
uncomfortable silence returned.

“You look good, Ty.” An understatement. Liz could feel the
knot forming in her stomach. It was half dread and half an emotion she’d been
trying to purge herself of over the past months. Control was going to be hard
to maintain. “How’ve you been?”

“Is that all you have to say?” he asked.

Liz felt her temper begin to slip. “Look, I didn’t expect to
see you today and I don’t have time to waste here, so why don’t you tell me
what you want me to say, I’ll say it, you’ll leave and I’ll continue getting
over you.” Liz surprised herself at the sharpness of her tone.

“Okay,” Ty kept a casual tone. “I don’t remember everything
that happened the last time we saw each other.”

“Lucky you,” she retorted. “I’ve been reliving it. Where
should I start? Beanie’s last hour of life or a blow by blow description of
Jimmy trying to rape me? I still have screaming nightmares.”

That remark really got to him. She saw the pain cross his
face.

“My God, you’re determined not to give me an inch, aren’t
you?” he asked.

“I told you, you had the power to destroy me. And you did. I
trusted you, I put my fears behind me because you promised you’d never hurt me,
you’d always take care of me and protect me. If that was your idea of loving
and caring, then I’m better off on my own. I have nothing to say to you. So if
you don’t mind,” she started to lead him back to the door, “please gather up
your kitten and go.”

Ty stood his ground. He grabbed Liz’s arm and pulled her to
stand close in front of him. His grip was steely, long fingers digging into her
upper arm. Ty’s free hand went under Liz’s chin and forced it up so that she
was looking into his eyes.

“I do mind,” he said, softly, with an edge. “I’m not leaving
until we’ve had this out. You’ve got plenty to say, I can see it in your eyes.
And you’re going to hear me out. So let’s cut the bullshit and start talking.”

“Okay, fine, sure, I’ll play,” She took on a sarcastically
bright tone. “Ty! What a pleasant surprise! How nice of you to come by! How’s
the hand you smashed into the wall? Oh, by the way, Ty, where the hell have you
been for two months?”

“Drying out.”

The answer was quiet, matter of fact. The steely edge to his
voice was gone. “I found a place that took me right after you left.”

Liz knew Ty well enough to know the truth. She felt her rage
subside somewhat, but…

“You’ve got one hell of a tan. Where were you, Betty Ford at
Club Med?”

Ty’s gaze remained steadily on her face, still watching
closely, but slightly relieved at provoking her. “I was in the Caribbean. Good
place, not likely to run into a lot of people I knew and they had a bed
available right away. It seemed like a good idea to put some distance between
us for a while.”

The words ripped into Liz’s heart. “You’d already done that
by the time I moved out, Ty. We didn’t have a relationship anymore. Let’s just
admit we made a huge mistake, apologize and end it.”

“No.”

Ty grasped Liz’s wrist gently, but firmly. He started towards
the nearest chair from the dining room, but Liz resisted being pulled. Without
a word, Ty scooped her up and continued for the chair. In the process of
seating himself, his grip loosened and Liz managed to get free and stand up.
Again, silently, he grasped her wrist and successfully pulled her into his lap,
facing him. Liz found herself straddling Ty, her bare legs dangling over his,
his hands resting in the small of her back. She knew better than to try to
break free again. Something in the back of her mind noted that he was still
wearing the “In Need of a Good Home” sign around his neck.

Moving one hand to the back of her neck, Ty gently but
firmly bent Liz’s head closer to his and softly, slowly kissed her forehead,
lingering over it, murmuring, “My God, I’ve missed this.” She closed her eyes,
reveling once again in the warmth of him, the sensual pleasure of his lips on
her skin, the joy his kisses always brought, the unfamiliar sensation of his
beard against her skin and the love she had for this man, no matter what. Ty
fished in his shirt pocket and handed something to Liz. “Here.”

Liz looked at the plastic disk in her hand. “What is it?”

“It’s an Alcoholics Anonymous first day disk.” Ty cupped her
face, stroking her cheek with his thumb. “I got it the day after you left. That
card that Joe gave me was the Bar Association Crisis Hotline. I got on the
phone and they got me into rehab. You said I was killing myself and you were
right.”

Liz turned over the disk in her hand, looking at the
printing. “So you came to apologize? Okay, you’ve apologized. I forgive you.
Please leave.” She tried to get out of Ty’s lap again, but he tightened his
grip.

“I’ll leave, Elizabeth, if you can look me in the eyes and
tell me you don’t want me anymore. If you can do that, I’ll go and never bother
you again,” he spoke softly. “Can you do it? Can you honestly say you don’t
want me?”

Liz looked him in the eye. “I can’t,” she whispered.

“I may not remember much from the last time I saw you,” he
said, “but I do remember you telling me you wanted something. Well, I brought
it to you today.”

“What’s that?” she whispered.

“The man who loves you,” he said, emotion beginning to choke
him, “and who desperately wants you to love him again.” He began to shake as he
said it. “You called me the handsome prince once, but I’m the one in distress.
You are my rescuer and I don’t want the story to end without winning you back.”

Elizabeth Gardner, for the first time in two months, wrapped
her arms around the love of her life, Tyrone Hadley. She was shaking, too. Liz
buried her face in Ty’s shoulder, feeling the texture of his shirt and the
muscles underneath as they moved his arms to hold her close. She could smell
the fabric softener he’d used. Ty’s skin had the aroma of soap clinging to it
from a recent shower, the sexiest fragrance on Earth. Liz inhaled and clung
even tighter.

“Are you really here?” Liz dreaded the answer. If this was a
dream, she couldn’t stand the disappointment.

Ty’s arms tightened to the point where Liz had trouble
breathing. He moved his lips closer to her ear. “Swear to God, Babe. It’s
really me. I’ve missed you so.” He buried his face in her neck again. Liz could
feel the sensation all the way down her spine. His words were muffled against
her shirt.

“I wanted you badly, but my sponsor told me to wait; I
wasn’t ready and you probably weren’t, either. It was like a knife in my gut. I
don’t know how many times I picked up the phone to call anyway, but I was so
afraid you didn’t want me anymore, I just chickened out. I’m still afraid.” Ty
lifted his head and Liz could see the fear, something she’d never seen in his
eyes.

His voice was a hoarse whisper. “I only want you to be
happy, Liz and I know I should only want you to be with the right man, but Liz,”
here, his voice dropped so low, she almost couldn’t hear him. “I’d give half my
life to be that man. I’ll do whatever it takes to make you love and trust me
again. I don’t want to go on without you. Please don’t throw me out, Darling.”

He put his lips to Liz’s and said,” Please.”

Liz couldn’t hold out any longer. She returned the stealthy
kiss with all the love she felt. And then, she began to really cry. Ty gently
guided her head back to his shoulder, stroking her hair as he would a child.

Ty kissed her cheek again and Liz could feel tears on his
face. She tightened her arms around him to comfort him and they held each other
as if the intertwined circle of their arms could banish the bad memories and
the pain they brought.

At length, Ty kissed Liz again, gently, softly, sweetly with
a promise of greater things to come. His fingers found the spot on the nape of
her neck that could send shivers all the way down to her toes and he deepened
the kiss until Liz clung tighter to him because her senses were too overloaded
for her to sit up by herself. Ty stopped kissing her long enough to speak. He
was breathing hard and his eyes were soft and dark as they looked into Liz’s.

“Liz, Honey, may I take you to bed?” He stroked her ear. “I
need you, need to feel your warm, soft body under mine. Please?”

Liz wanted exactly that but it was too fast. Her face was
still wet with tears and some of them were from anger. There was something
magic in his touch, but it wasn’t enough to erase all the pain with one kiss.

Liz lifted the hem of her shirt to brush the tears from Ty’s
face. Ty’s body tensed up as his eyes searched her face. She gently removed the
sign from his neck and smiled at it. Holding the sign with one hand, Liz
touched his beard with her free hand. “Furry face and a hard luck story.”

Ty nodded, smiling, but he watched her closely.

“You were paying attention,” she said as she put the sign on
the table behind them.

“I always did,” he answered.

“No,” she said quietly, “that’s not completely true. The
past few months, we weren’t even on the same planet. I couldn’t take it.”

Liz could feel the tension returning to his hands. How well
he knew her. She looked into his eyes and gently laid her hands on his
shoulders.

“I love you, Ty. But, Darling, I’m not ready to go back to
where we were. We were two fools who rushed in where angels feared to tread and
it cost us.”

Here, she felt Ty pulling her close again, trying to comfort
her. Against the wishes of her body, she resisted.

Liz smiled sadly, “I know you’re the one man I could spend
the rest of my life with. And you know it, too. But you took me for granted. We
didn’t share a home. I occupied space in your house and bed. I deserve better.”
Ty opened his mouth to protest and Liz gently closed it with her fingertips. “I
felt like my presence was more for your convenience than for closeness. I
wanted to be there to love you, to help you through good and bad, but you
pulled away from me and hid yourself in your office or in a bottle of Scotch.
Beanie’s death was the last straw. I can’t go back to living like that.
Especially with you. I want to be more important to you than that.”

Ty kept one arm around Liz and covered her hand with his. Closing
his eyes, Ty began kissing Liz’s hand, starting with her fingertips and
lingering over her palm. Liz hardly breathed. He finished with a long,
lingering kiss on her inner wrist. Guiding her arm around his neck, Ty gently
pulled Liz close, molding her body to his. This time, she didn’t resist. He
nestled his cheek against her hair and began to stroke her back. Liz could feel
herself relax. They sat like this for a minute or two, then Ty spoke.