There You Stand (7 page)

My backache wasn’t going away, so I broke down and actually made a doctor’s appointment. It hadn’t bothered me like this in years so I felt bummed that it was acting up now, in the middle of my busy schedule. I wasn’t down for being sick or for anything that kept me from moving for too long, well, except for sleep. Always glorious sleep.

Tonight I sat at the motorcycle bar, nursing my beer, trying to stick to my regular routine but failing miserably. I was losing my stride. Even last night when I had gone up to Zach’s Bar with the gang—our usual Thursday evening hangout, I wasn’t my normal self.

Dex and I usually messed around, got loud, and played drinking games like we were freshmen in college or something. But I wasn’t feeling it and everybody noticed.

When Bennett asked me if I was okay, I told him that my back was acting up from an old injury. Dex opened his mouth to say something, but I shut him down real quick with one look. Jessie suggested her mother’s holistic health center for alternative therapies like acupuncture and massage. I promised I’d give it a try if my situation didn’t improve.

When Jessie’s boyfriend, Nate, walked into the bar that was my cue to leave. Not because I didn’t like Nate but because those two had some serious chemistry between them. It made me realize exactly what I was missing. It had never bothered me before but lately it was all I thought about.

Probably because I was so hard up and hadn’t even kissed anybody in a long while. Besides, just being that close to Jude the other night made my insides quiver. I was suddenly and consistently thinking about being intimate with somebody again. Instead of jacking off to thoughts of him every night, I didn’t know why I didn’t get my ass up to the gay bar or meet somebody online. I could even call that dude Jonathan from the Smoothie King, but it seemed that nobody else would do. Apparently I just wanted to torture myself.

I stood up and threw some money down on the bar to take care of my tab.

“Heading home before the showers hit.” I didn’t like riding in the rain. An accident could happen without warning.

I knew how to ride in inclement weather; you had to in order to enjoy a motorcycle year-round. Even kept a folded rain jacket with my gear and knew to decrease acceleration and stay off the slick yellow lines in the road. Still, none of that seemed to help the night I injured my back.

“You worried about your brakes?” one of the regulars asked me. We’d had a conversation a couple of weeks back about me changing the pads on my bike. I’d even bled the fluid and sprayed aerosol cleaner on them per his suggestion.

“Nah, just don’t feel like getting wet,” I said sheepishly, and he laughed.

But Vaughn gave me a curious look.

When he’d asked me about Jude a couple of weeks back, he was giving me a warning of sorts and I appreciated that. Just wish I knew exactly what he was swearing me off of. I was too chickenshit to ask. So I left instead. I’d go home, take a muscle relaxer, and get my ass to sleep.

I’d just rolled my bike out of the tight space in the parking lot when the back door of the bar flew open and out stormed Jude. And fuck, if I thought he was hot before, he looked dangerously sexy now, all rough with pent-up energy. Probably the hottest man I’d ever laid eyes on.

He was pacing back and forth, running his fingers over his dreads, which were tied back low on his neck.

But what the hell had he been doing in the back room of the club? Had he known I was at the bar?

I stayed motionless, watching him as he stalked the hundred feet to the Board Room’s back door. When he didn’t come out after another minute, I struggled with what to do.

Maybe he needed someone to talk to. I considered walking over there until I saw the club president, Malachi—or Mal, as he was known—step out the back door and look around, either to see where Jude had gone or who might’ve been hanging around.

Panicked, I hopped on my bike and pressed to the start position in order to get the hell out of there. When I next looked up, Malachi was staring in my direction, and our eyes met. He looked at me a split second too long and I tipped my chin at him. I didn’t want any fucking trouble.

After he went inside, my foot rested on the peg, ready to drive off, when Jude emerged from the back of his shop. I watched as he flipped off the light and locked the door behind him. His backpack was on his shoulders with his board secured in place. Right then I made a split-second decision.

I slowly motored over to him and then came to a discreet stop by placing my feet on the ground. “You okay?”

His eyes widened and he looked over my shoulder to the club’s back door entrance.

“You need to blow off some steam,” I said, shrugging. “You could climb on the back of my bike, and we could go for a ride.”

Jude shook his head, but his eyes wavered. They conveyed something different. They told me he wanted to jump on and hit the open road.

“No problem,” I said, having said my piece. I attempted to keep the disappointment off my face as I lifted my feet off the ground to rest on the pegs. “See you around.”

Out of the corner of my eye I saw movement. It was Jude’s hand shooting up to motion to me. When I looked back, Jude nodded, and his legs were already eating the distance between us.

“Hop on,” I said, my pulse skittering in my veins—either from fear of the club seeing us racing off together or because I was about to feel Jude’s body heat directly behind me. It wasn’t illegal to go for a ride, so what the fuck was I so anxious about? I offered him a chance to let out some frustration, plain and simple.

But I now knew for certain he was involved with the Disciples of the Road and I wasn’t sure I felt comfortable discerning the how or why. I just knew I wanted Jude.

Next to me. On top of me. Inside of me. So badly my chest ached.

Jude lifted his leg and climbed on the back of my bike. He tentatively scooted forward and then his fingers clutched the back of my shirt. It was intimate in a lot of ways to allow somebody on your hog, let alone a virtual stranger. Which was why I didn’t do it often. Plus dudes riding dudes around got you plenty of strange looks in certain parts of town.

My stomach muscles clenched when Jude’s fingers slipped around to loosely grip the front of my T-shirt. I felt his harsh breath on my neck. “Let’s get out of here.”

I pulled onto the side street and stopped at the red light that intersected with the main road. “Where to?”

“Take a ride to the quarry.”

My head jerked back. “Isn’t it closed after dusk?”

“You afraid of getting caught?” His voice was rough and clipped. “Never done anything illegal?”

My back stiffened. “Have you?”

“You think I have,” he said. And now the last few days made sense. He knew I’d been having doubts about him. “So let’s leave it at that.”

I shook my head in frustration. “If you never fill in any blanks then I can’t help but make everything up in my own head. That’s what everyone in this town does, you get it?”

I felt heavy gusts of air against my nape and I attempted to hide the tremble that travelled across my skin.

“Fucking brilliant,” he mumbled. “Just drive.”

I gunned the gas harder than I’d intended and as we shot off his hands gripped my shirt even tighter. But he must’ve felt unsteady because his fingers sank further into my flesh down to the knuckles. My stomach muscles quivered and if he didn’t before, he could tell now how affected I was by having his hands on me.

My dick thickened against my zipper and I couldn’t help my thoughts from going there. To his fingers drifting down and grasping the front of my pants.

“Better hang on,” I said, trying to rid myself of this off-the-charts tension. “Have to get on the freeway until the next exit.”

His hands settled around my abdomen, one hand higher that than the other and I could feel his pulse thrumming through his fingers. Maybe he was as turned on as I was. Maybe he wanted this closeness as well. I felt him lean into the embrace and I adjusted myself on the seat so that his groin would settle flush against my thighs.

I heard an audible gasp and then his breaths were harsh against the middle of my back as he tucked his forehead between my shoulder blades. I definitely felt his stiff cock against my lower back and it was so validating, so damn arousing, that I nearly cut through my lip from biting down so hard.

I angled my head toward him. “The quarry, huh?”

No response, just a firm grip, his fingers nudging beneath my shirt to my skin. If he kept it up I was going to hurtle into the fucking ditch.

“True or false: You’re trying to kill me.”

A hot puff of air against my cheek. “You’re the one driving like a bat out of hell.”

I braced myself. Could I have been reading him wrong this entire time? But then I felt his thumb slide purposefully across the top of my waistband. Fine, I’d play his little game. Besides, he was at my mercy on this bike.

Off the exit I headed toward the national park. The quarry was located just inside and though you were allowed to ride through after dusk, you weren’t allowed to stop your vehicle. I had gotten caught a few times in my younger days, steaming up the backseat. Plenty of kids had. The idea of doing the same as an adult merely seemed pointless.

But now the thrill of driving through and parking with Jude felt clandestine and completely provocative. And what was with that illegal topic of conversation we had at the light? How could he not be doing something against the law if he was involved with the Disciples? And why was it that I didn’t care anymore? Was my lust for him blinding my decisions?

I couldn’t even muster up the brain cells to be concerned.

Which is probably why I got bold with my next question. “True or false: You like boys.”

He gulped a lungful of air. “I . . . I like
you
.”

Holy fuck, he actually admitted to something. “So you’re not gay?”

“I . . . I don’t know. I’ve never totally explored . . .
Christ.
I’ve been on the go for far too long.”

As I turned down the dark road heading toward the quarry I heard him mutter
fuck
under his breath as if he hadn’t meant to confess that much.

“Have you been with other guys?”

“Not really, I . . .
bullocks.
The truth is . . . yes, I have,” he said in a gravelly voice, as if remembering someone or something.

“Have you . . . enjoyed it?”

“Yes and no. It’s complicated.” Damn, what in the hell was he talking about? And then a thought rose up, flooding my chest with fear. Did it have anything to do with all those scars on his back? Shit.

I pulled into the empty lot while I mulled over his answer. I didn’t want him to feel on guard around me or to clam up, so I wasn’t going to press him about it. Him telling me felt organic to our ride and I’d rather it stayed that way.

I rolled into a space and came to a stop. Immediately I twisted toward him. “I’d never . . . I’d never do something to hurt you, Jude.”

His gaze met mine and held, heavy as steel fiber. His hand reached up and gently pulled the knit cap from my head. He ran his fingers through the top of my hair and pinpricks were ablaze across the entire landscape of my body.

I sighed into his touch and shut my eyes.

“Do you even know how hard it was to concentrate on the road with you sitting so close to me?” I mumbled.

“Couldn’t help myself.” He slid off the bike and looked around the lot, as if casing it for onlookers. His voice was gruff and I thought he sounded pissed, until I looked at him and a seductive smile lifted the corner of his lip. “Your skin is too tempting.”

“Yeah?” I said jerking down the kickstand and lamenting the loss of his fingers in my hair. I hung the hat on the handlebar and swung my leg over the seat.

Jude’s gaze scanned down my body to my raging hard-on. No way to hide it now.

“What if I said everything about you is too tempting?” I whispered.

Jude moved toward the water like he was all too familiar with this kind of nighttime scene and I had to wonder if he did this often. I, on the other hand, hadn’t been out to the quarry in years. The park had closed at sundown and yeah, for me, this was as illegal as it got. Maybe back in the day I did some stupid shit, but now I was an adult with responsibilities and a grandmother to look after. I didn’t need to be paying fines up the wazoo just because some hot guy led me here one night after dark.

The quarry was small and shallow but the water was fresh and warm and blue in the daytime. Like a natural spring pond, if you had to compare it to something.

I felt a spot of water on my cheek and my stomach tightened. There was no thunder or lightning. Still, for me to be out on a bike during a rainstorm was huge. It happened unexpectedly sometimes, but I always sought shelter immediately or stayed after hours at the shop to avoid it. I was so into my ride with Jude that I had all but forgotten that the forecast called for showers.

But there was something different about being here with Jude. He was like an electric force field that I naturally gravitated toward. Even though danger signs were written all over him. I couldn’t help thinking back to the day he took care of my ankle or how meticulous he was about practically everything—especially his words.

I walked to the water’s edge and stood staring into its depths next to Jude. It was partly cloudy and the moonbeams shone down along the water’s edge. He cocked his head, as if expecting a string of protest to fall from my lips. But my throat was dry and my lips felt glued shut as I anticipated his next move. He seemed different tonight, almost defiant, on edge. Similar to how he was on his board, with his stunts. The one area in his life where he seemed to break loose and sail free.

Droplets of water broke the glass surface and I was mesmerized as it brought me back a few years to when I used to actually love rainstorms. I wished I could get back there to that serene place again. But too many large waves had already crushed that tranquility.

I found out my mother was dead the afternoon of a wicked storm a few minutes after I’d arrived home soaked from school. I remember how my grandpa pulled me into the safety of his arms. He died a couple of years later, from a heart attack. The cemetery was a muddy, watery mess the day of his funeral. And that last day with David. Fuck. We did everything wrong that day. If I could take it all back I would.

I turned to look at Jude, about to say something about the rain and getting back home and off the road, when he tipped his chin and stripped off his shirt. I gulped as I took in his smooth and lean chest that I’d now seen on more than one occasion.

“What are you doing?”

He unbuttoned his shorts without responding to me. He was back to being the silent Jude with a devious gleam in his eye. And silent Jude was apparently going skinny-dipping.

I watched in complete awe as he effortlessly yanked down his shorts, which left his boxer briefs. I could plainly see the outline of his long and stiff cock and all I could think was that I had done that to him. Unless he was some sort of an exhibitionist.

He appeared to show no shame as he pulled down his underwear and stared into my eyes with so much lust I could’ve waded in it. But I couldn’t hold his gaze for very long because I had to see him. All of him.

He stood perfectly still while my eyes skimmed down his pecs to his tight stomach. There was a light patch of hair beneath his belly button that led down to a denser mass. His gorgeous dick curved upward toward his stomach, and all I could think about was running my tongue around the long vein and thick head.

Though this was the boldest I’ve ever seen Jude, I could also tell that revealing himself to me like this was colossal, because there was a small tremor in his fingers and right then all I wanted to do was reach for him, hold him, help steady his nerves.

Then suddenly he walked with purpose into the cool liquid and I only got a glimpse of his tight ass before the water concealed it. My erection began throbbing in my pants and I tried to rein in my thundering pulse.

“Is it warm?” I asked past the lump in my throat.

He nodded.

“You shouldn’t go any further because of your tattoo,” I said, mostly just to keep myself talking. “I wouldn’t want you getting an infection.”

“Then come in with me to keep me in line.” His shoulders glistened in the moonlight and right then he was a vision, my every fantasy come true. He stood staring at me, water droplets hanging off his lips and chin from the light rain, willing me to discard my clothing and join him.

This was a different side of Jude and I didn’t want to blow it. I felt a little heady, thinking that he desired me. Even if this was only a one-time crazy-ass thing.

That thought drove me forward, the rain already forgotten. When I yanked off my shirt, Jude’s eyes turned positively savage and I swallowed thickly. When I took down my jeans and boxers all at once, his teeth bit into his lower lip.

It felt good to let my erection loose. I was thicker than he was and now so damn hard that I was leaking pre-come. The cool water would help soothe the fire rampant inside of me.

I strolled into the water and the cold liquid mollified me. “This feels amazing.”

“This is as deep as the water gets,” he said, creating a gentle splash in my direction.

I raised an eyebrow. “You tricked me.”

“It worked,” he whispered.

He gave me one of his rare smiles, which turned very serious after a few more seconds of gazing into each other’s eyes. My stomach was buzzing and my raging hard-on only felt tighter with anticipation.

I was wading in the quarry in the middle of the night completely bare with a guy who not only wanted me but also made my head fuzzy with emotions I hadn’t felt in years.

It was like being in a perilous game of chess. Jude stepped forward and instinctively I knew that he needed to be the one to make the first move. He was a guy running from something, the likes of which I didn’t understand, and if I wanted to find out anything more about him, I needed to play it cool.

Especially since he didn’t even seem to know if he was in fact gay. I’d been with guys who weren’t out of the closet yet. Everyone moved on his or her own timeline but if one thing was certain, it was that I never wanted to be somebody’s dirty little secret again. And though my head was telling me that was exactly where this was headed, I still couldn’t stop myself from experiencing one taste of this man.

We were inches apart and our breaths intermingled sharing a sliver of air between us. That’s when I knew unquestioningly that he wanted me like I wanted him. It was dark, sprinkling softly; the only light was our shared moon. I was exposed and standing so close to Jude York that I could have leaned over and sampled his wet lips.

His eyes now travelled between my mouth and eyes as if he was contemplating his next move. “Cory.”

Just as I sighed, his hands rose out of the water. His fingers glided to my neck and his thumbs slipped over my collarbone.

Anguish filtered through his eyes as if he was fighting himself on something, so I remained silent and motionless—transfixed by the heat and texture of his hands on my skin.

My lips parted and I leaned toward him, hoping his mouth would meet mine halfway. Instead, he inched his face away and tucked his head into my shoulder. I kicked myself for wanting to taste his lips so badly.

“You don’t want to kiss me?” I whispered.

His tormented eyes flicked up to mine and he rolled his lips inward as if to keep them in check.

“Is there somebody else?”

He shook his head and slipped behind me, dragging his fingers across my shoulders as he went. “You’re the only person who’s been in my thoughts.”

Our bodies aligned in the wet darkness and his hot breaths fanned against my hairline. His solid chest was touching my back and his erection throbbed firmly against the crease of my ass. I thought I might break apart right then and there.

He maintained this sensual position as his fingers tracked over the ink on my biceps and shoulders. His hand clutched the nape of my neck and then skimmed across the hollow of my throat. I tried remaining still and quiet because though he refused to kiss me, this was incredibly intimate in a different way.

Burrowing his fingers in my dark waves, his warm breath wafted across the side of my face. It was like an electromagnetic shockwave had pulsed over my skin, zapping the entire surface area along my arms and legs.

“Your hair is lovely,” he murmured and never in my life had I craved somebody more. Just one twist of my head and I could capture his mouth, savor his lips.

But fuck, that would ruin everything.

His hand glided between my shoulder blades, down the center of my back, slowing near the crease of my ass.

He massaged my cheek and then rounded to my thigh as my heart winged in my chest and a moan surged from my lips. As the fingers on his other hand painstakingly traced up and down my spine, my breaths became choppy and broken.

His lips found my ear and when he spoke again, his voice startled me. “True or false: You’ve injured your back.”