There But For The Grace (31 page)

He got up and walked over. A light touch on my hair, smoothing it back from my face, and warm, Tab beside me, I fell asleep, suddenly too exhausted to fight it anymore.

Tabbris

By now, I knew Adelaide’s scent. It was mixed with those of ash and brimstone, but it was still distinctly her own. The next impression was of warmth and softness as awareness started to return. I could hear her voice, murmuring in her sleep, shifting and groaning with hints of something perhaps not quite a nightmare, but not a pleasant dream either.

My eyes opened at last. Lucifer sat in the chair at the end of the bed, watching us sleep. “Don’t bother trying to get up. And no need to call for help. I’m here neither to fight, nor steal. It’s everything I can do to hide from the senses of the Archangels. Should the keys so much as touch my hands, Michael would be here. Should anything happen to you two, the others would be.” He held his hands up, as if to convince me he was harmless.

“If that’s so, then why are you here?” My hand shifted, though I tried not to wake Adelaide. Unfortunately, though I had both hands again, my sword wasn’t near either of them.

“First and foremost, to say congratulations. I honestly didn’t think you were going to make it.”

“Your own did a lot of the hard work on that.”

“Indeed. Gadreel had such hatred for you, no one else could deliver the killing blow. I can respect his dedication, even if I think he was rather short-sighted.”

“Samyaza and the others didn’t do you any favors either.”

“Hm, indeed. Not short-sighted enough. The fact that they might have been right notwithstanding.”

“Very well, congratulations offered. You can go now.”

“Oh, that just came first. I also wanted to make sure you were aware that this wasn’t over.”

“The keys are out of Hell. Adelaide is back here. As you said yourself, Michael will be watching for you. You had your best chance. Maybe you should have gotten more personally involved while in Hell. Or been watching the Grigori.”

He smiled, making a sweeping gesture with his hand. “Of course I should have. But I have so many people I need to be watching. Funny that: once they turned away from God’s grace, it’s like they’ll betray anyone.”

“Then you’d best see to getting your own house in order before you plan on storming anyone else’s gates.”

He sighed, then nodded. “On that, actually, we’re agreed. You caused quite the mess down there. Damned souls wandering from circle to circle. The Sixth and the Seventh, all over the lower layers, angry and violent souls ransacking the tombs. There’s a lot of work to do before I could raise an army.”

That got a smirk out of me. “And you’d like an apology?”

“I’d love one, but we both know that’s not going to happen. Besides, only right, eye for an eye, and all that. You’ll heal, so will my realm. And then I’ll be taking a more personal hand this time.”

“Be careful, or Michael will cut that hand off.”

“Very careful,” he agreed. “Whatever I may not have gained in all of this, I have spurred Michael into action, and seen how he’d react. He trusts in his own power to save Heaven, and the world. He’s shown his weaknesses.”

“Lack of compassion would be a weakness, yes. It won’t help when you cross swords again.”

“Maybe, maybe not. I’ve gotten rather good at exploiting weaknesses, you see.”

“And you’ve just had some of your own exposed. I didn’t need the Archangels storming the gates this time. And you’ve lost some of your strongest.”

“If I can’t count on them, they’re not my strongest.”

I smiled and shifted a little bit in the bed. He’d revealed a part of his hand he hadn’t intended to. “So now you’re trying to determine if you can count on Iaoel. She’s what you have on this side.”

He flinched, seemingly involuntarily, glaring at me, before he finally gave up the glare and sighed. “Well done, Tabbris, well done. She’s terrified. And fear can cause one to do odd things.”

“Adelaide wouldn’t have been able to get through Hell, even the first layers, unless she had some insight. Either she’s learning to control the visions, or that fear—or maybe doubt—may have Iaoel second-guessing her love for you.”

“And which one is a very good question,” he said. “And remains to be seen. You realize, of course, whatever your girl there was thinking that whole time, Iaoel was being bombarded with visions the whole time she was in Hell. It can sense how close she is to Falling. The realm would reach out for her.”

“Be careful: she may try to repent, with hope like that.”

He shook his head. “She won’t. She knows what’s coming, what has to come. She’ll be telling Adelaide soon, so I figured I’d just get to it first. The time for doubt is over. No matter how empty the lack of His Grace is, she has to Fall. Her wings would already be blood red. It’s almost time for them to become black.”

“Almost?”

“You’ve earned the red wings, Tabbris. There’s a lot of blood on them, over the centuries. You know how hard it is—and how difficult it is to walk the tightrope between Heaven and Hell. She’s doing it much faster, and what is hard on Iaoel, as she suffers through fear—and doubt, and whether to try and hang on and climb, or let herself fall—well, that will be even harder on Adelaide. Her body is burning out trying to sustain Iaoel’s Grace, and her mind is going with it, trying to fight her.”

“You don’t care for Adelaide, so why does that matter to you?”

“True, but I do care for Iaoel.”

“Or at least the strength of her visions.” I suggested.

Lucifer shrugged. “Does it really matter which to anyone except Iaoel? She knows me better than anyone. She knows my thoughts on this.” As he said it, I realized that, even though Adelaide was fast asleep, most of the last comments weren’t meant to convince me, but to soothe Iaoel.

“It matters to me. Until she chooses to Fall, she has free will.”

“It matters to you, even after all she’s done? And, of course, that free will bit is for mortals, not Angels.”

“We’ve had this discussion. We have free will, or you never could have Fallen.”

“We have, so let’s not do it again. Instead, she still matters to you, after all that’s happened?”

I paused, my thoughts conflicted on the matter, before replying, “There are bigger stakes involved than any grudge I might bear her.”

Lucifer positively beamed at that. “Good, then you’ll understand when I tell you, the stakes are bigger than even you can imagine. Iaoel will Fall; have no doubt about that. She’ll put aside her fear, and do what must be done, as she always has. And when she does so, she and Adelaide will have to make peace. Even if that’s agreeing to disagree. As long as they’re fighting each other... and make no mistake Tabbris, no matter what Adelaide says, this goes both ways... they’ll both be weaker. They need one another right now, and if Adelaide keeps cursing at her and treating the voice in her head as if it hasn’t been helping her survive—indeed, helping you survive—whatever her motives, then Adelaide will die, and Iaoel may not be able to survive being pulled free. What will come will be taxing enough on Adelaide’s body and Iaoel’s Grace. When the final battle comes, then there may be war. Until then, they need each other, if either one of them is going to survive.”

I frowned, thinking that over, not at all trusting Lucifer, nor Iaoel. But the words seemed to have some effect, as Adelaide stopped struggling and groaning in her sleep, settling into a still, restful slumber with a quiet sigh. “Iaoel will have to deliver that message herself.”

“I believe that’s likely exactly what she’s doing, in a manner of speaking,” Lucifer replied, glancing at the placid expression on Adelaide’s face, allowing himself a slight smile. “I believe Iaoel understands. It won’t be long before she realizes that her vision, and all it entails, will be inevitable. Just look after Adelaide until that time,” he said.

“You can be assured of that.”

“Then I’ll be leaving. I need to thank Pestilence.”

I raised an eyebrow. “So what I saw was true, and she turned on you too?”

He nodded. “Pestilence, and Famine as well. I believe she’s quite literally fiddling as Hell burns.”

“And what are you going to do about it?”

He stood and stretched. “I told you. I’m going to say thank you. I don’t care which side they’re on. The Horsemen acted in concert. Certainly I’d rather have them with me, but that’s secondary. Once they start agreeing on things and uniting in common purpose, it’s only a matter of time before the big show.”

Adelaide shifted against my shoulder again. I looked down at her as she settled once more. By the time I looked back up, Lucifer was gone.

The door shifted, and I glanced over, seeing Raphael’s face peeking in. “You are awake? I thought I heard your voice.”

“I am. Adelaide isn’t.”

“So much the better. We need to talk.”

I nodded, trying to stay still as he moved to take the seat Lucifer had occupied. For the moment, I chose not to mention the breach in security. “We can do that.”

“She’s not well, Tabbris,” he began.

“I know. Iaoel’s Grace is killing her,” I replied.

“I did what I could for her. Healing you would have been far easier if I hadn’t poured so much power into her. She doesn’t realize it, but Hell took a terrible toll on her. Especially because she gave into anger and vengeance repeatedly. She survived, but it’s trying to call her back. Especially because she has so much anger at Iaoel, it’s almost palpable.”

“Iaoel is what’s killing her. Iaoel is why I ended up in Hell. Can you really blame her?”

He paused, then sighed. “Whether I blame her or not is irrelevant. The fact remains that her own anger is dragging her down. As long as that’s the case, I can keep healing her body, but her spirit will remain beyond me.”

“What about extracting Iaoel?” I said.

“She’s fully awake now. Without her cooperation, we can’t, not without killing Adelaide.”

“Then maybe that’s a place to begin.” I said, glancing down at Adelaide again, knowing Iaoel was listening.

“Believe me, I have tried to counsel her, and told her that, whatever Michael might wish, I would promise her sanctuary if she would help us draw her out safely. I believe that Iaoel is certain she has a purpose in Adelaide’s body still that would not be served by hiding her away until we could find a suitable hosting form.”

Unfortunately, that sounded a lot like what Lucifer had suggested. Iaoel may have had moments of hesitation, but if she was sure enough in her visions that they led her to betray me, I was certain that, however fearful or doubtful she might be, eventually, they would lead her to follow through on Falling as well, if that’s what she’d seen. “I believe she does as well.”

“Do you have any idea what those might be?” Raphael asked, “Because if we could somehow resolve them, or bring her into a better state within Adelaide, it might help preserve them both.”

I tried not to laugh, as I had to tell Raphael at least a part of the truth there. “I believe that Iaoel at least thinks she’s seen a vision of the battle for the gates, and she’s on Lucifer’s side. The thought of Hell, especially when she felt how empty it really was, may have frightened her, making her question what she’s doing... but I think she’s made her decision.”

Raphael sighed, “So, very little chance of reaching a resolution.”

“On that, but I think they can agree on one thing. They need to keep Adelaide alive until that time comes. She’s acted to preserve the body, even if it conflicts with her goals, so far. She’ll keep doing so.”

“So you don’t think there’s any hope? You know Iaoel best.”

“I think there’s always hope, but I also know Iaoel. She’ll trust her vision and stop hesitating. But I also believe there’s more than one battle going on. Adelaide is going to have to forgive Iaoel, and stop making decisions out of anger.”

“Do you think she can?”

“I believe that Adelaide has the strength of will to do so, yes. But that also makes for powerful emotions. I can tell her whatever I’d like, but that’s something she’s going to have to decide for herself.”

“And if Iaoel is, indeed, Falling?”

“Then that will make it all the harder for Adelaide to resist Hell’s attempts to call her back into the fold. You’re right, if she’s going to Fall as well, it will be anger that does it.”

He nodded, switching to a different likely target of her anger. “She confronted Michael at the gates.”

“Of course she did.” That much wasn’t much of a surprise.

“He nearly killed her for it, and there wouldn’t have been much we could have done to stop it I things had escalated.”

“But she didn’t.”

“But you acknowledge she put herself at risk by confronting him.”

“I respect her ability to make her own choices. The choices mortals make, knowing the risks, are the ones that say the most about the mortal spirit.”

“Of course you’d say that,” he said, but couldn’t hide a smile as he said it. “And if one of her rash choices had meant you’d both ended up trapped in Hell?”

“I’ve been trapped in Hell. Twice. Remember?”

“Precisely. So you know what’s at stake.”

“I know what’s at stake. Mortal souls, mortal choice. And as soon as we start discounting that, we fail.”

“As you say, all of them. But some will still fall. It’s inevitable.”

“And I will fight for each and every one’s right to make that decision.”

Raphael nodded. “Then I admire your conviction. Meanwhile, I suspect you must have left the place in quite a state.”
I smiled at the comment. “Gadreel is dead. The generals seem to be at cross-purposes. Not that that should be any surprise. And there’s damned mixing and matching all over half of it. They’ll straighten it out soon enough, but I left the place worse off than I found it. I’ll take it.”

He listened to the rest of my story, sitting patiently and taking in the details. Then he shared the things that had come about while I was absent or unconscious.

Eventually, Adelaide stirred again, catching both of our attention. “She’ll wake up soon. When she does, you should urge her to eat. She’ll need her strength,” Raphael said, standing and moving quietly towards the door.