TheKingsLady (15 page)

Oh, hell no!

Her mind screamed at her, accompanied by the blare of warning bells. She needed to move away, get some perspective on the situation. She ran from him for a reason. She just couldn’t remember what it was at the moment, and her feet didn’t move as she ordered.

Some small, rational, sane part of her clawed its way to the forefront before she became completely lost in the spell Arthur wove over her. She stiffened in his arms and tilted her head up to look him dead on. “I won’t do this again. I won’t be ignored for the greater good. I’m selfish and probably a bad person for it, but I want to come first with the man I give my heart to. Can you do that, Arthur? Can you put me first?”

He stilled, regret flashing in his gaze. “Is that what I did to you before?”

Well, give the man a brownie point,
she thought with rancor.

“Yes.” The word snapped in the air and with it, the damn broke. All the longing, anger, grief and isolation she kept bottled up inside came busting out of her.

“I was the last thing you thought of. You gave little thought to anything but your precious Camelot and your knights. I was nearly driven mad by the loneliness.” She jerked out of his arms and moved to the window, painfully aware of the coldness of the air around her with the absence of his body next to hers.

“You became a polite stranger, barely acknowledging my existence.” The bitterness burned her throat, the words like acid spewing from her as her vision wavered from the tears filling her eyes.

“You even stopped coming to my bed and all I had left were the women who attended to me. They would speak in hushed whispers thinking I couldn’t hear them. Always the same pathetic thing,
poor Guinevere not even the king will touch her
. When Lancelot came I found a friend, someone to fill the void. Neither one of us planned on what happened. We were both so lonely, desperate to connect to someone. He only wanted to be my friend, but I needed more, and if I couldn’t get it from my husband, then I would find it with someone else.”

Gwen took a ragged breath and brushed the tears from her face with an impatient hand. “Unfortunate for me, I found out too late what I wanted all along was
your
love. I won’t go through that type of hell again. I refuse to give anyone that kind of power over me.”

“I was a fool and a bastard. I recently have been made aware of my single-mindedness. Those times are long gone. It’s unhealthy to live in the shadow of the past, learn from the mistakes you make yes, but move forward.”

She turned to face him, gazing into his dark stare sparking with so much sincerity she longed to believe him. “And taking that call when we were…uh, you know.” Her cheeks heated at the thought, but she pushed on. “You call that moving forward? Because it looked a lot like turning your back on me.”

His eyes narrowed to slits, his frown deepening. “I have a responsibility to my men.”

“That’s what I’m talking about,” she interrupted. “You have a responsibility to everything under the sun. Where am I in all of this?”

“I don’t understand.”

He looked so confused at that moment her heart nearly broke in two. It took everything she had not to go and soothe him.
No, bad idea, he can’t give you what you want, and it would only lead to more heartache.
The voice of reason broke through, thank the goddess.

“That’s the problem. You never will because it’s not in your makeup.” The longing in her voice brought her up short. The truth in her words slammed her upside the head as pain radiated through her chest where her torn and bloody heart did a
thump, sputter, thump.

“Please leave, I can’t…we can’t…just go,” she stuttered, horrified to find her cheeks wet with tears.

He moved slowly toward her as if she were a cornered animal, hands up in a gesture of
look, I’m harmless.
But she knew, just as a rabbit viewed a wolf, how dangerous he truly was.

If she let him in, allowed her feelings to grow, there would be no coming back from it if he did the same bullshit to her again.

And she refused to risk living through all the hell her grief and guilt, the endless loop which, for some reason, she now found herself free of.

The magic surged through her, a living current tingling up her arms and into the palm of her hands. Warmth filled her as the power pulsed through her nervous system, throbbing in time to the beat of her heart. She raised her glowing palms toward him and pushed.

The magic hit him square in the chest, throwing him back to crash against the wall, pinning him there. Shock registered on his face, a what–the-fuck-is–this he never saw coming. Brutal satisfaction filled her as she reveled in the power she wielded over him and what that said about her, she didn’t want to contemplate.

“You don’t get a say over my life. I have control over what choices I make, not you,” she hissed out between clenched teeth, releasing him from the magic.

He went down on his knees with a hard crack as bone met floor, a flash of admiration mixed with the wince of pain. “You’ve changed, Gwen, you’re tougher, stronger now.”

She would have given him a big fat
duh
, but what he said sank in and grabbed her with sharp claws. Realization hit her square in the face, because no matter how many times she told herself the same thing it didn’t feel real until Arthur said it.

“I never meant to hurt you, Gwen. I know I didn’t deserve you then and probably not even now. I am sorry, as shallow as those words might be, I am so gods damn sorry.”

All the lives she spent in agony over her affair, of being a catalyst in the destruction of Camelot, of not being strong enough to say no and fight for the man she loved. And since this seemed to be the time for epiphanies, she admitted to herself he didn’t hold the market in the blame department. It seemed time to let go of the past and embrace the future. If that future held Arthur in it, well she would just cross that bridge when it came up.

“I’m sorry as well. If I had been stronger, not swayed so easily, none of it would have happened. But you’re right. I’m not the same woman I used to be. It seems we both have grown up a bit.”

His eyes brightened with hope as he stood and gave her a tentative smile. “And if I get out of line you can wipe the floor with me. You give quite a punch with that magic of yours.”

Gwen laughed and shrugged a shoulder. “Oh, that was just flexing my pinkie.”

“Then remind me not to piss you off.”

His laughter filled her, easing some of the hollow spaces inside. “How did you find me?”

“It would seem that you have made quite an impression on my men and the women, too.”

She scowled, perplexed with this answer. “How so?”

He stood and leaned his bulk against the wall with arms folded across his chest. His biceps bulged making her mouth go dry. What was it about this man that made her so hormonal?

“It seems Lancelot is still your champion. He had a lot to say on your behalf on how things went down at Camelot, and the thing is I can see it. I mean, yeah, I was there, but I got to see things from a different perspective. I found it not very flattering and not easy for me to hear, but I get it and…damn. I’m not doing this right.” He blew out an aggravated sigh, pinning her to the spot with his dark gaze that seemed to penetrate to her soul.

“What I’m trying to say, and doing it badly is, I can now see where I caused a lot of what happened. I needed to get my head out of my ass, but Merlin was the only person I would have listened to, and he went missing, thanks to Nimue.”

“I didn’t handle things that well either, Arthur. Had I grown a spine and said something instead of being a walking mat who knows what we could have avoided.”

As the words left her lips, something inside lifted from her, making her feel lighter than ever before. For the first time she found herself free of the self-recriminations that plagued her for so long, and a sense of peace filled the void.

She let out a shaky breath and slowly moved toward the man who brought her full circle. She stopped in front of him, almost touching, and embraced the heat that wound around her body and took his essence deep into her. Tilting her head to meet his gaze, she gave him a trembling smile.

“So you still haven’t told me how you got here.” The soft upturn of his sensual lips made her belly quiver as if she swallowed a hundred butterflies.

“Merci is my best tracker. She found your location through mirror magic. Of course, Salt had a lot to do with pinpointing your exact location.”

“Traitor.”

“Thank the gods. We left him howling his fool head off. Glad I can’t understand cat, but I got the gist of it. He was pissed to be left behind. Everyone is here downstairs waiting for word from me that we are good.”

Her eyes widened in surprise. “Everyone?”

Arthur nodded solemnly, taking her much smaller hand in his. “Everyone.”

She broke contact, looking at his long fingers, so elegant as they held hers in a confident grip. With his free hand, he stroked her cheek to rest under her chin, tilting her head back up to meet his scorching gaze, and she swayed into him.

“Gwen.” He spoke her name with such hushed reverence she shuddered under the spell he wove around her.

She knew in that instant no matter how far she ran she could never outrun her heart.

* * * *

Arthur drank in the woman pressed lightly against him. Her soft curves a siren call his body heeded with wild enthusiasm—if the tightness in his jeans was any indication—his heart beat hammered in his chest at the thought of having her beneath him again.

The glorious fall of her hair cascaded around her shoulders and back in a riot of curls, a fiery halo kissed in the bright neon lights spilling in from the window. His fingers tangled into the soft mass. With gentle pressure, he tilted her face up toward him, his eyes dropping to her full lips. Her tongue darted out, wetting them, and he groaned at the visual of that mouth on other parts of him.

He needed to taste her right, the fuck. Now!

He swooped down, making contact, devouring her mouth in a demanding kiss lighting him up from the inside out. He evaded, coaxed, and seduced, reveling in the sweetness he found there. He delved deep, conquering her with every swipe of his tongue against hers.

He heard her small moan of capitulation, felt her body press tighter to him, her hot core rubbing against his erection. Thoughts both savage and primal clawed at his gut, his pulse hammered through his temples, beating back any remaining vestiges of reason into submission.

His blood burned, his heart beat in rhythm to the words circling in his brain.

Mine,
mine
,
mineminemine.

Cupping the back of her head, he held her in place while the other hand stroked over her peaked nipple. She gasped and whimpered, sending blistering heat rippling over his skin, rushing down to his aching cock.

His fingers impatiently shoved her offending sweater up and off her, his hand smoothed over her soft skin, stroking over the fullness of her breast, down to the curve of her hip. He let his hand dip beneath her waistband, finding her warm, wet center. His groan matched hers on contact, and he knew he would be taking this one slow even if it killed him. He needed to claim her and have her claim him in the most primal way he knew. He would possess her heart, body and soul.

Right here, right now.

With a soft curse, he swung her into his arms and somehow made it to the bed. Clothes, both his and hers, flew over the room as they struggled to be free of their confinements. Then it was skin on skin as he slid his big body over her smaller one with a groan of pure bliss.

He bent his head, capturing a turgid nipple in his mouth, and suckled hard. He heard her hiss in a breath as she arched up into him. He let his lips travel down over her ribs to the slight rise of her belly. He dropped lower, leaving her warmth as he grabbed her legs and pulled her to the end of the bed, her gorgeous round ass hanging over the edge.

He wrapped her shapely legs over his shoulders, the move opening her to him. He sucked in a breath at the tantalizing sight before him. The sweet tang of her arousal nearly had him coming at the sight of the strip of tight red curls surrounding her pink, swollen lips glistening with her moisture.

He lightly kissed down one inner thigh, then the other, loving how she gasped and squirmed against the bed. His tongue found her folds and licked the length to her clit.

“Please.”

Her hoarse cry whispered against him, firing off a rapid pulse of electricity to his nerve endings. “This is about you, love, just relax and enjoy.”

He gave her no time to respond as he went in for more of the sweet honeyed cream. He plunged his tongue deep into her, mimicking the rhythm and dance as old as primal man. His thumb stroked her clit, rubbing it with firm circular strokes.

Her fingers speared through his hair to clutch him tightly to her as her hips rose to match his thrust. Her panting whimpers became frantic as he brought her to the peak of her orgasm, then over as she shuddered, her body tightening in the throes of climax. Gods she looked so beautiful in the throes of pleasure, and his chest filled with a smug satisfaction that he put that look there.