Authors: Christin Lovell
He grabbed a stuffed donut from a platter on the bed. Abruptly he yanked my head back by my hair. “Pay attention.”
I shivered. All of me hurt. I ached, but if I was honest, my heart hurt more than my body probably would. I missed them. Hope peeked every so often. I wanted so badly for Ellie and Jerry to burst through the door and rescue me. But this wasn’t fiction. I knew there were no perfectly timed rescues like Hollywood would lead us to believe.
I grimaced as he slowly slid his member into the tiny hole at the end of the donut, ripping the delicate pastry. He closed his fist around the item, pressing it to him as it began to crumble. Vile burned the back of my throat as he pumped into his sticky, messy hand a few times.
His hand tightened on my strands, yanking at my roots again. “Open up.”
I clamped my lips together, clenching my teeth.
He dropped the donut, the pieces scattering on the carpet.
My eyes flew open when he slapped my face. My flesh stung, heat engulfing my left cheek.
“
Open!” He squished his thumb and fingers on each cheek, forcing my lips to part.
I kept my teeth tight, refusing to give in. This would not be easy for him. I did not want this.
Abruptly he pushed his dick between my lips and pinched my nostrils with his fingers, forcing me to open my mouth and take him in in order to breathe. The moment I unlocked my jaw, he shot to the back of my throat.
I gagged, coughing as vomit rose higher.
He was relentless and I was right. The emotional pain was far worse. Tears spilled, fast and furious. My head spun as he assaulted my mouth, covering my face in the icky, sticky sugary donut.
Sobs poured from me, escaping only when he retreated.
As he bruised my throat once more with his brute force, my stomach finally shot its contents up high enough.
“
What the fuck?” he yelled, wrenching me sideways.
My vomit hit him though, before more covered the mess of donut. The acid burned a rising path, scorching my nostrils too.
He let go of my hair only to grab his gun. The weapon was hard, cold and heavy as he slammed the barrel into the side of my head.
The crack of metal to flesh and bone reverberated. My brain swelled, instantly pulsing and throbbing. A moment later, I felt something warm and wet touch my ear.
I couldn’t stop shaking. Another sob escaped me in a choked hoarse bellow. My throat hurt with the effort, sending fresh tears cascading.
Rage lit his eyes, like lightning haunting the sky before a summer storm.
I needed water. I needed a shower. I needed a savior, but it didn’t seem like I was going to get any of those things anytime soon, if at all.
Something broke inside me. Billy had been right. I did need help. I needed a daily rescue. I needed more than I could give, do or be on my own.
There was no controlling my heaves now. Destitution was long gone, replaced with devastation. I’d been wrong. Ellie and Jerry weren’t my face; Donovan was.
I jumped as the door came crashing down, frame and all. Two wolves snarled at Donovan, effectively shocking him.
He froze only for a second before he aimed the gun at them.
“
No!” I dove forward and bit down as hard as I could on his exposed, vomit-covered dick.
He cried out, dropping the gun and snatching me by my hair.
In a matter of seconds he was bleeding and I was in Ellie’s arms. Growls echoed around the room. Vicious snaps of bone and the shredding of flesh filled the air.
She clung to me, pressing my face into her shoulder, smothering my uncontrollable sobs. I trembled violently, though she did her best to clamp down on me and minimize my tremors.
It’s over. It’s really over.
“
Dammit, Jeremiah. How the hell am I going to explain this to the DA?” The male sounded agitated, but not angry.
“
He aimed a gun at our heads and hers. This was self defense,” Ellie replied.
“
Shooting the bastard is self defense. Destroying my evidence is far from.”
She hugged me even closer. “Later, Tom,” she snapped.
He sighed, but must have agreed.
I don’t know how much time passed. I couldn’t seem to collect myself long enough to care. Nothing to matter and yet everything did.
Another whiff of the sugary crap all over my face had me burrowing deeper into Ellie as I dissolved. Fresh cries stung my sore throat. “Please, please, please.” I didn’t know what I was asking; I just knew it hurt, all of me begged for reprieve, for this nightmare to end.
“
I’m sorry, but I’ll need photographic evidence,” a woman said.
“
Make it fast. She needs to be cleaned and checked.” Jerry’s tone was anything but polite.
“
Of course.” Her words quivered a tad, giving the elusion that she was as shaken as I was.
Ellie coaxed me around long enough for the woman to snap photos. I couldn’t look at her.
“
Get me some fucking cutters, dammit!” Jerry roared.
A moment later my wrists were free. My shoulders screamed as I moved my arms forward. It felt good and bad simultaneously. Pain and pleasure battled within my limbs. The woman snapped more photos of my wrists before releasing us. “You’re free to leave with her, but we’ll need her written statement first chance you get.”
Jerry grunted.
“
You’ll get it when you get it,” Ellie growled.
I blinked rapidly, trying to suppress my tears to no avail.
“
Come here, sweetie.” Jerry retrieved a wet towel. As he lifted it to my face, fear exploded through me.
I cringed back; all of me recoiled. I knew he wasn’t Donovan. Another bout of tears welled, slipping down my cheeks. “I’m sorry. I…I know you’re not him…I…I just…” My chin quivered as I gasped for air, the soreness in my throat flaring with each attempt.
He neutralized his expression. With a soft nod, he passed the towel to Ellie. He turned and walked out, naked and upset.
I knew I’d hurt him. I…I just couldn’t separate the two in the moment. My mind was still racing, overwhelmed and confused.
“
Let me in right now or you’re going to have a lawsuit the size of Texas on your hands!” My brother’s voice was a welcome comfort. Jerry’s had been too, but I didn’t know if I could see him right now.
“
Don’t let him in, El. Please.” My voice was barely above a whisper.
She gave me a once over and ran interference.
“
Jesus Christ! Don’t you people own clothes?” He snarked, trying to push past her.
That’s all I wanted to do was push past this, forget it ever happened, forget I ever met Donovan. I wished this year never happened, but…I knew deep down that everything happened for a reason. The hard truth was, without Donovan, I never would have met Ellie and Jerry.
I wanted to forget, but I knew I never would. He was tied to my relationship with them, the introducer of sorts. That was a difficult truth to accept.
—
Chapter Thirty
One week later…
KATE
Turns out Donovan had left a few presents that went off. All of my social media accounts vanished into thin air. Mass spam e-mails got my e-mail account suspended. My bank account drained to zero overnight, and on that same night, my car exploded. From what the bomb squad from two counties over could tell, it was a timed device rigged to blow on a specific date and hour. It didn’t have a remote activator.
All the oil and grease around the shop went up in flames. I felt bad. Guilt rode me every single day. I was the one who had brought this upon them all, especially Andy. He lost his entire business, plus several customers’ vehicles, and who knew if insurance would cover it all.
Yes, Donovan was dead and gone, yet he still haunted me.
This morning Billy left back to Miami without me, much to his chagrin. He’d called several times already. He’d bought me a phone the same day my life took a nosedive, claiming I would have had a better chance and they could have tracked me sooner. He’d been nice enough to call my job and put in for unpaid time off. I agreed to let him pay my bills because, well, I was in no state to work right now. I did promise to pay him back though. The homeless shelter wished me the best, well, Laverne did; she said they’d be there when I was ready.
I hadn’t said much over the week, and neither had anyone else. There was a massive elephant in the room, this unspoken experience, this unforgettable trauma that no one dared bring up, yet they didn’t want to act casual and ignore it either.
Ellie had been my rock. She gave me all the hugs and cuddles I could handle. Jerry had been there as much as I allowed. He made food runs, but it usually sat there. Every time I opened my mouth, I tasted him, his repulsive musky salty yet sugary flavor. How did one get past that? How could I ever go down on Jerry without remembering, without fear curdling in my throat, closing off my airway?
How did you pick up the broken pieces of your life and put it back together?
Tears burned my eyes again. I swore I had no more to shed each and every time, yet more always came.
Jerry leaned against the wall, watching me. His face was a mask, well concealing any and all emotions. But his eyes showed me everything. He couldn’t hide the pain deep down. I knew that I was hurting him. I didn’t want to, but I felt so ashamed. I didn’t know if I could be what he needed after this. My mind had skewed so much. Jerry looked nothing like Donovan. I’d even kept my brother at a distance, afraid of freaking out again. I knew I shouldn’t lump all men together… I knew…
I sighed. I knew I needed to try. They’d been there. Jerry never abandoned me. He respected my space, but made his presence known. I even caught him keeping watch as I slept beside Ellie.
I felt like I was back in my great depression days. I knew what I needed to do, what I could try to do; yet I couldn’t seem to bring myself to do it.
My chest tightened. My heart wanted him. I wanted him. I just didn’t know if I could have him the way I wanted to anymore.
I looked over at him. He was dressed casually in athletic shorts and a basic tee.
Instinctively he met my gaze.
You won’t know until you try…
I watched him. He was unyielding yet undemanding. He hovered protectively without expectation.
I worked my bottom lip as I locked on his apex. His was nothing like Donovan’s. Donovan’s dick had been long and skinny, white with a slightly reddish head. Jerry’s was long but wide with a thick purplish head. They tasted nothing alike either. That didn’t erase the terror that seemed to weave through me though.
Face it. That’s what I needed to do, but it was much easier said than done.
It wouldn’t hurt to try though. Jerry would never force me the way-
No!
I closed my eyes, fighting not to remember. I failed. I shivered, cringing and wincing as flashes, memories, stabbed me.
Fresh tears trickled down my cheeks. My eyes tore open. I blinked in rapid succession, but it didn’t help.
Jerry came into focus. His brows were furrowed in concern. His wolf lit his gaze.
What’s wrong with you, Kate? He would
never
hurt you the way D- did.
I swallowed hard. I took a deep, quivering breath, clenching and unclenching my fists. I knew he could see the tiny trembles shaking me. “Jer?”