The Zombie Plagues Dead Road: The Collected books. (20 page)

The conversation bounced back and forth
for nearly an hour, everyone contributing ideas that they thought
should be on the lists: food stuffs that were high in protein,
clean, bottled water, back packs, the big ones hikers use, tents.
Candace produced a pen and Patty, who had joined them, wrote it all
down. “That way we’re all on the same page,” Candace
said.

“
I think we should dig in
with Janet,” Mike said. “See what we need, what we got, what we
need to get.”

Mike ~ March 20th

We spent the day getting organized,
everything we have, everything we need, what we need to get. Janet
got us moving, and it turns out we’ve been bringing back a lot of
the wrong stuff. Candy bars, canned stuff, things that would be
great if we were going to stay here - well, maybe not the candy
bars, but they have their attraction - sneakers instead of boots,
that sort of thing.

But we have a list of what we need now,
stuff we can carry on our backs if we have to. If there are no
roads, we can’t drive. If we can’t find gas, we can’t drive
either.

We discussed whether we should even
bring the trucks at all. It’s a temptation, but only so we can
bring more stuff with us. And we might make a few more miles a day,
but does that matter? Do we need to get anywhere in a hurry? So
we’ve left that as it is for now. We’ll take them. We’ll pack them
full of all that extra stuff we would like to have, but I suspect
the first time we get stuck or the roads disappear, or after the
seven hundredth flat tire, dead battery, hole that gets in our way
or punches a hole in the oil pan, we’ll probably leave them. We may
even decide, before we go, to go without them.

Twelve days to go. We’re only going out
in heavily armed teams to get what we need. We also set up double
watches through the night. Switch off every four hours. I was with
Ronnie for my four and got to know him a little better. He’s pretty
solid. Our four hours went by fast. We saw nothing at all, heard
nothing at all. The dog came out and hung out with us. Lifted his
head a few times and looked off into the night, but whatever he
heard wasn’t enough to make him growl.

Everyone just calls
him
The Dog
. No
one seems to want to name The Dog. Maybe the dog doesn’t need a
name after all. Maybe The Dog is name enough.

We also decided to take these with us;
The journals and diaries I mean. I know Candace, Tom, Janet, and
myself write almost every day, but a few others want to write too,
or already have. Candace felt it could be something for the future,
for our children. That’s a sobering thought. Keep them for the
children so they know what happened. That actually makes
sense.

That made me think of kids. Children. I
don’t know about that. I don’t know what to feel about that. I
guess I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. But it keeps my
head straight to write this out…

Lilly ~ March 20th

I decided to write this for the baby.
Tom knows, and he’s okay with it. It must have happened with David
just before all of this happened. I don’t even know how I feel
about it completely yet, but it’s a baby. A baby needs a home,
security. I talked to Tom about that. My baby will have a safe
home, Tom said so.

I guess Tom was with Lydia before. I
hear others make comments, mention her name. She looked like me.
Tom says only a little. I say it doesn’t matter, not really. He’s
with me now. He says he loves me. I believe that. He knows about
the baby. He says he won’t leave me; what more is there to need, or
ask for? I just don’t want my baby to be unneeded or unloved,
abandoned like I was. I know how that feels.

I don’t know about Lydia. I’m sorry she
was killed. So much has happened. I’ve seen people killed right in
front of me. I guess I need therapy… That’s supposed to be a joke…
Not a good joke, I guess. We’ve all seen a lot, but there are no
shrinks left to talk to. Another poor joke, I have a million of
them, all stupid. I guess the real stuff is Christ. Christ is what
gets me by. Christ is what I believe in. Christ is who will help me
to take care of my baby. I mean, if there ever was a time to lean
on Christ wouldn't it be now?

I was not religious before this
happened. I didn't go to church. And I'm not religious now, not
really. I simply believe in Christ. That's a belief, not a
religion. A belief can last, religion fails sometimes, and I can't
afford to be part of a failure. I need absolute. I need something
sure. I need belief, and that's what I have.

Don't get the idea that I'm fanatical,
I'm not. I guess if we're keeping this for the children then this
will be for you, my baby, my girl, my boy, someone who I have not
yet met. That gets so deep. I don't want you to misunderstand who I
am or what I believe in. Eventually there will be all this space
between us and this night when I sat down, thought about you, how
much I love you before I have even met you, and how I want things
to be for you. I know things will not be as I see them. I know that
time changes everything so easily. I just want you to see who I am
right now. Not a crazy; not a fanatic. I am just a young woman who
believes that all that is left is Christ to see us
through.

I’m going to tell Sandy about the baby.
Tom agreed. She’s a nurse. She knows things, and I’m a little
afraid of how it will be.

We are going to leave April
1st. That’s not long. I can’t wait, really. Nothing,
almost,
nothing
good has happened here except the baby and Tom. I
don’t mind going…

Patty ~ March 20th

I’m not good at this sort of thing at
all, but Ronnie and I thought it would be good for our children,
you, who are reading this. I’ll have faith for that. I’m not
pregnant; auntie came to call. And besides, we got some pregnancy
tests the other day, just in case. But, we’re trying. We thought
this winter, where ever we are, would be a good time to have a
baby. I guess it would be the end of winter. At least not in the
spring or summer when we’re traveling.

Who is your father? Who am I? Ronnie’s
people came from down south, Alabama. A little town called
Pritchard, outside of Mobile. That’s on the Gulf coast. I’ve never
been there, but Ronnie says it’s nice. And who knows, we may end up
back there before we are settled down for good.

Ronnie came up here a few years ago
with a construction crew to build housing for Fort Drum which is an
Army base just outside of Watertown, Black River really, and he
stayed, so that’s how he happened to be here when all of this
happened.

I’ve lived here all of my life. Married
young. Divorced young. Married again, and still was when this
happened. I haven’t seen Randy since two weeks before this
happened. It was about to end though. I guess I didn’t have good
luck like that.

I knew Ronnie. We lived in the same
building. We got together after this happened. Nearly everyone here
is like that except Janet and Bob Dove. What I mean is
relationships that didn't exist a few weeks ago.

We’re going to leave here on the first
of April, as long as there is no snow. Some - Bob, Janet, Sandy and
I don’t know who else, maybe Lilly? Tom? - But some are pushing to
leave vehicles behind. The rest of us aren’t sure. Ronnie says Mike
and Candace are right, vehicles could be a big asset to us. But
they also believe they could become more time consuming than they
are worth. If so, we should leave them behind. I guess we will have
to see how that turns out.

It has been tough here. There are
people running around with guns shooting at anyone. We know. There
was a young girl with Mike and Candace who was killed just before
we came to be here ourselves, and two killed just the other day.
It’s a different world.

I have Ronnie. I have
Candace, she’s, like, my best friend. Even more than that. Like a
girlfriend that I never had. She’s so smart… beautiful. I
mean
really
beautiful. She makes me feel like I belong though, doesn’t
make me feel stupid. I have a great deal.

Married twice, I’ve never caught
pregnant. I wonder what you will be like?

~ March 21st ~

The morning had dawned gray and
overcast. By the time breakfast was finished, fat flakes of snow
were falling to the ground outside the cave. Within an hour the
snow was nearly horizontal and starting to stick to the ground.
Everyone had taken some time off from sifting through the pallets
to inventory what they held to check the outside conditions. By the
time the faint glow began to fade from the gray, announcing
nightfall, they had been through everything in the cave and had new
lists of what they needed. Even those lists changed several times
throughout the evening as they checked with one another and crossed
off or added to the things they needed. They ended up with lists
that concentrated on warm clothing, coats, gloves, boots and
concentrated foods items, if they could find them.

“
Well, things like beef
jerky, peanuts, trail mix, nutrition bars. Things you see in the
drug store or up by the counters when you check out,” Janet Dove
said. She seemed to have taken the task of the lists to heart, made
it her grail.

“
No way are we going back
to that store on State Street,” Candace said.

“
Not a chance,” Mike
echoed.

“
Ditto,” Patty
added.

“
No way. Uh, uh,” Ronnie
threw in.

“
Bad?” Bob
asked.

“
Bad enough… That was when
your thing popped off, so you don’t know about it. But somebody did
a bunch of people up down there… In the back of the store… The
store room,” Ronnie said.

“
A lot,” Mike echoed. “It’s
worth going elsewhere, that’s all.”

Bob nodded. “Well, we could go back out
Arsenal Street. There are several places we could check out
there.”

“
I don’t like it,” Candace
said. “Yes, they could be anywhere, but that’s where the whole
thing happened. That’s where those two were. I talked to Annie. She
said that’s where they hang around… forage, so to speak. Living in
some old warehouse down there, or they were. But if that’s where
they want to be, are likely to be, let’s leave them to
it.”

“
Can’t run forever,” Sandy
said.

“
Run?” Candace asked. “It’s
not running, first of all; it’s prudence. We don’t know shit about
those people except what Annie has told us. And I’ll tell you...
what she said, if I had known and been there, then I would’ve
killed them both. The rest of it, the stuff I suspect and Annie
won’t talk about, Jesus… Are you kidding yourself that you don’t
know, don’t understand it?” She stopped, took a deep breath and
massaged her neck.

“
You know as well as I
know. I don’t want any of us to go down there for any reason.” She
broke off, looked down at the ground and then continued in the
silence. “Second: We’re not here to fight. We’re leaving. There
isn’t a single possession here worth fighting for… maybe
dying
for. It’s all free,
so I ask myself what sort of person would still feel the need to
take, to kill? I don’t think they’ll be stupid this time. I think
they’ll try to take us from cover. They’ll be afraid. They’ll
believe Annie told us things she couldn’t bring herself to tell us.
They’ll know we want to kill them. They’ll believe it. I told you I
do. How do we fight that? You don’t. No way to fight it. So,
it’s
not
running.
It’s asking myself what’s really important. Being smart.” She
looked up at the shadowed ceiling of the cave. “Excuse me,” she
said after a second. She got up, pushed aside a hanging jumble of
blankets and tarps that closed off the cave entrance from the
falling snow and stepped out into the twilight.

Sandy cleared her throat and looked
down at the stone floor. “It's not about you,” Mike
said.

Nell wandered over as Mike tugged up
the zipper on a heavy jacket and stepped outside.

“
That guy… that Death guy.
I was watching him. He wasn’t thinking about giving up; he was
weighing the odds, sizing us up, wondering who would or wouldn’t
shoot. Maybe even who could or couldn’t shoot. He would’ve killed
us all if he’d thought he could and still keep himself alive. Once
he knew others were coming, that was it. That’s why he laid the
rifle down and ran. I don’t want to go back down there. Let them
have that whole place,” she finished.

Sandy seemed more than a little put
out, but she said nothing at all. Nell went out through the hanging
blankets and tarps, and a few seconds later Mike came back through.
He stomped his feet on the stone floor, knocking off the
snow.

“
It is really coming down,”
Mike said. He tried a smile on his face and walked back over to
where Patty, Ronnie, Tim and the others were still standing. Sandy
had walked away towards the back of the cave.

‘
She okay?” Patty
asked.

Mike nodded.

“
She’s a problem,” Patty
said.

Mike shrugged. “For whatever reason,
they don’t like each other. They just rub each other the wrong way.
But it is a problem. I’ll have to do something about it… I just
don’t know what. Nell’s talking to her now.”