The Zombie Plagues Dead Road: The Collected books. (113 page)

Cammy walked out of the garage into the
sunshine before she slowed for Bear to catch up. She turned and
waited, and then they walked in silence down through a row of
wrecked cars. As they walked, Billy and Mac came up the row with
the wrecker, Mac driving, Billy steering a van that was being
pulled behind the wrecker.

The actual tow unit on the rear of the
wrecker had been damaged in whatever had happened with the fence.
Bear had looked it over. If he'd had a welder, it would have been
an easy fix, and Billy had been looking at a junked generator
sitting farther back in the yard that he was sure he could use to
run one of the welders that sat inside the garage. But then he had
got caught up in the truck frame work, the tires, and Bear had
heard nothing more about the wrecker. It seemed like it made no
difference to Billy and Mac. They had still figured out a way to
use it for what they needed. Bear lifted a hand as they drove past
and then turned his attention to Cammy.

The silence held. She seemed to be
searching for words to say. Her head was down, staring at the dirt
as she walked along. He thought about speaking but decided not to.
He turned his eyes up to the skies instead.

The sky was deep blue, so deep it made
him dizzy to look at it. Clouds on the far horizon, somewhere up to
the north. Maybe rain for them later today.

“
Bear,” Cammy said from
beside him.

He looked down at her.

“
I don't love you... I like
you, but... trying to love you is just making me hate you.” She
looked up at him, her eyes wide, dark, serious.

Bear stopped, and Cammy came to a stop
beside him. She burst into tears and wrapped her arms around him,
burying her face against his chest. “I'm sorry,” she sobbed. And
the rest of her words were muffled, unclear.

“
Oh, Cammy,” Bear started.
He was no good with this, especially once a woman started to cry.
It made him feel like he could cry too. A flat bed truck sat
nearby. He picked her up in his arms and carried her over to the
truck. He sat down, and she scooted forward onto his lap, reburied
her face and continued to cry. Bear sat and held her as she
did.

He buried his face in her hair and held
her as the time slipped by. Eventually she stopped and lifted her
puffy face to his.

“
Do you hate
me?”

“
Nope. I don't even see how
you could think that I would.”

She held his eyes. “You're a nice guy.
I...” Her eyes started to leak again.

“
Cammy, listen... what made
you think you had to feel that way?”

“
Because people think it...
People expect it.”

“
So burst their bubbles.
You can't live your life to someone else's terms or... What's the
frigging word?” He snapped his fingers together.

“
Expectations,” Cammy
supplied.

“
Exactly,” Bear said. “You
can't live your life for someone else.”

Cammy laughed. Her eyes were still
leaking, but it was obvious her mood was changing.

“
So... this has been what
was wrong? I've been driving myself bat shit trying to figure it
out.”

“
No, you were already bat
shit,” Cammy joked. She laughed again, her mood clearly going the
other way. “You are the sort of man who lets all sorts of stuff
bother you... drive you bat shit, as you say. You have a huge
heart. You make me wish I could be happy with you, but I
can't.”

Her tone became more
serious.

“
My woman died too... as
this was starting. She had a bad heart,” Bear said. “Walked out of
the house and didn't come back. I looked for her.” He shook his
head.

“
I didn't know that,” Cammy
said.

“
I know you didn't know
that. There's more to it. You didn't know it because I didn't tell
you. I guess I said I lost her, but I didn't actually speak about
it like I just did. I can't share that part of me that easily. So
it isn't just you, Cammy. I do feel something for you, but I'm not
in love with anyone... I...” He stopped.

“
Anyone?” Cammy
asked.

Bear laughed. “Don't you think we're
sometimes telepathic? I mean, out of everything I said, you knew to
go right there.”

“
And you decided not to
answer,” Cammy said.

“
No... No... I just. I just
don't know, Cammy. I don't know what my feelings are. Could be....
given the right... Oh, Christ. I'm no good at this, Cammy. I'm not
in love either. I'll leave it there, but you should not be worried
about hurting anyone. Be happy. This world is so fucked up, Cammy.
Be happy. If you're not happy, how can you make anyone else
happy?”

She was still pressed against him, her
head resting against his chest once more. She felt like a little
sister who was going through a crisis. “I guess the truth is I see
you like a little sister. I don't mean that in a bad way,
Cammy.”

She started to cry again.

“
I didn't mean it badly,
Cammy. I truly didn't,” Bear said quickly.

She pulled her head away. Her hands
tried to straighten his shirt which was wet and stuck to his chest.
“I feel the same. I would like to be friends though. Maybe it will
change, Bear. Maybe it will.”

He stroked her hair. “Maybe... Maybe,”
he agreed.

Cammy pulled away, and rubbed at her
face and eyes. “I get so emotional. I don't mean to.”

“
Don't apologize for being
you.”

“
Did you know that Maddy
saved my life more than once, Bear?”

“
No, but I knew there was
something there. And I know she loved you.”

Cammy nodded. She fell silent and then
looked away toward the front of the junk yard.

Bear sighed. “I have to be there. It's
my shift. Are we going to be alright now? I mean...”

“
I know
what you mean...”
She straightened
and patted at her hair, swiped at her eyes again. “Yeah... Yeah,
we're going to be okay now,” Cammy said quietly. “I think you do
love someone, Bear. Maybe you just don't realize you
do.”

Bear stayed quiet. “I loved someone.
I'm pretty sure that's where it stays for now.” He helped her up
and back down to the ground. They walked together back down the car
lined path toward the front of the junk yard.

CHAPTER SIX

The Nation

The main meeting area of the cave was
huge, measuring more than one hundred feet across in the middle and
nearly twice that deep back into the rock before it narrowed and
split into tunnels leading into the heart of the small
mountain.

The entire community was there. They'd
had a community dinner. That happened more and more, as the larger
projects drew more people who worked together all day long. Tim and
Annie worked in the cave with Sandy, Susan and Jan. Lilly ran the
school for the children down in the valley, but she was up at the
cave the rest of the time, and Tom was tied up with projects with
Bob all day long too. It was easier for all of them to not have to
be concerned about cooking.

Mike and Ronnie had been finishing up
Ronnie and Patty's stone house in the valley. They had come up to
the main cave area after work rather than go home. Besides, they
had reasoned, Candace, Patty and a few others were working on the
storage areas in the cave, so they would be there too. They had met
them there, and they had all eaten dinner together in the main
area.

Sandy had taken Candace, Patty and
Lilly away with her right after dinner to the clinic that was in
one of the smaller rooms off the main area. They had both just
finished a long talk with her and returned to the main cave
area.

Sandy was a nurse, the closest thing to
a doctor The Nation had, and she was busy almost every day with one
thing or another. They walked back out into the main cave area as
Mike and Ronnie were coming in from the ledge where they had been
talking with Bob and Tom.

“
Oh, oh,” Ronnie
said.

Mike smiled.

At six months pregnant, they were both
showing. Lilly came out nearly behind them. She was much
bigger.

Candace came to Mike and looked up into
his eyes. “Tell me you didn't have anything to do with that,” she
said.

Mike frowned. “I wish I could. Honey,
you have to look at it sensibly. This is not going to be a fast
trip. And it's going to be...” She placed one finger on his
lips.

“
Okay,” she said

“
Okay?” Mike asked,
surprised.

“
Yeah, I was mad, but
really, you told me last night. I guess I had most of today to talk
it over with Pats, think about it, and I decided you were right.
Sandy was just the icing on the cake. Look at me,” She stepped back
and turned sideways.

“
Um,” Mike said.

“
Um?”

“
Well, um, you are getting
bigger, but it looks good on you, Babe,” Mike said.

Candace laughed. She looked over at
Patty who had locked her arms around Ronnie and rested her head on
his chest. “Such a suck up,” Candace said.

Patty laughed, but her eyes were red
rimmed as though she had been crying. Mike supposed she had been.
He looked back at Candace. Her eyes were red too.

“
I wish it could have been
different,” Mike said.

“
Yeah,” Ronnie
agreed.

Patty looked up at him. “It speaks,”
she said.

Ronnie laughed as Lilly walked over
with Tom.

“
Guess we better get this
show on the road,” Mike said.

Bob came over, Molly, Nellie, Arlene
and David with him. Jan was right behind them.

The Nation's council consisted of Mike,
Candace, Ronnie, Patty, Bob, Jan, Molly, Lilly and Arlene. They had
not settled on nine members and then elected them, the nine had
instead volunteered soon after they had arrived in the valley. They
had simply taken everyone that volunteered.

They rarely met, preferring to talk
things over as needed, maybe in the barn over milking, up in the
cave sorting potatoes, out in the field stripping the seed from the
wheat; it didn't matter. This would be only the second formal
council meeting.

“
Folks.” Mike raised his
voice and the small talk in the room died down. He was surprised
how many new faces there were. “I don't like formal stuff, I don't
want any of us to start thinking one is better than another. The
old world stuff, I just want to leave it alone. But we have decided
we need to make a trip out into the world.”

There had been a small amount of
conversation, all low, respectful. But it died completely, so quiet
that Mike could hear the wind whistling around the bad fitting edge
of one of the main doors.

He nodded. “We want to leave in about
two weeks, the sixteenth... well, twelve days. We talked about two
weeks, but the sixteenth seems to be the actual date. We are not
taking a lot of people. It's going to be a dangerous trip. You guys
listen to the radio, so you realize what's going on out there. Some
of you just came in. You have a better idea than I do, and I would
like to speak to a few of you before we go. I'm thinking six
people. No pay, long hours, and, no pregnant ladies. You have to
talk to Sandy about that. Believe me you won't get anywhere.” He
paused for a moment, but the silence held. He had not expected much
else.

“
Twelve days is not much
time. If you have an idea of something we need, tell one of us.
Better yet, tell Jan. I just volunteered her, but she's been
through this before. She knows what to do. See her; she'll make
sure we know about it.” He looked over at Candace. “I might be
forgetting something, but I don't know what it would be. We'll be
gone no longer than we have to be gone. Fall is coming, and we have
more groups on the way.”

“
Nellie and I want to go,”
Molly said. Mike had talked to both of them earlier. They both
really had wanted to go. He had done no convincing.

Mike nodded now. Tim's hand raised.
“Tim?”

“
Annie and I want to go.”
This was not a surprise either. They had talked it over. The only
thing Mike did feel ill at ease with was taking Annie.

“
Ronnie
and me and that makes six, unless anyone has a different idea, or
wants to go.” Mike waited to see if anyone would speak. There were
a few he would make it eight for, if they wanted to go, a few who
he would not budge for at all, but no one spoke. No hands were
raised. Mike nodded after a few moments. He looked around the large
room. “A few of you who just came in...
Bud... Johnny... Tammy.
I don't want
to exclude anyone either. But I would like to talk to you over the
next few days. I just want your best advice. Anyone else with
recent experience out there too. Guess that's it.” Mike sat down at
the nearby table where Candace, Patty and Ronnie sat with Bob and
several others.

“
Well, I think that went
well,” Bob said.

“
Except you volunteered me
for the lists, Michael,” Jan said.