The Yuletide Engagement & A Yuletide Seduction (11 page)

Patrick took a step towards her. “You think that's the only reason I agreed to accompany you to that dinner?” he murmured huskily.

Ellie stood her ground, even though every particle of her cried out for her to move away from her complete physical awareness of him. “Of course,” she said again. “Oh, I'm aware there was also a curiosity on your part to meet your cousin's fiancée on neutral territory, but other than that—” she shrugged “—it must have been quite a chore for you.”

His eyes suddenly glittered silver. “Exactly what is going on, Ellie?” he rasped. “Last night—”

She gave a dismissive laugh. “Last night I think the two of us may have got a little carried away by the roles we've been playing—”

“Last night I didn't think we were playing any roles. I thought we went out to dinner together for no other reason than I asked you and you accepted!” Patrick insisted harshly.

And she shouldn't have done! Shouldn't ever have allowed herself the luxury of believing there was any future in a relationship between Patrick and herself. In fact, now that she was aware of the reason behind Patrick's attentions, she knew very well that there wasn't a future in it!

She forced another rueful laugh. “Then you thought wrong,” she bit out derisively.

He took another step towards her, so close now Ellie could feel the heat of his body against her sensitised skin. “I didn't imagine your response to me last night.” He spoke gruffly now.

“Or your own to me,” she came back, with a defensive arch of her brows. “I'm not denying there's an attraction between us—it would be silly to even try. As I said, I think we both got a little carried away with the moment. But it really wouldn't do—in the circumstances,” she continued, determined though Patrick would have interrupted once again, “for the two of us to indulge in a meaningless affair.”

Patrick's mouth tightened. “Meaningless…?” he repeated softly. Dangerously, to Ellie's ears.

But what did he expect from her? What did he want from her? She had already had one disastrous relationship this last year—and a relationship with Patrick promised to be even more catastrophic than that had turned out to be!

She shook her head. “Patrick, I think, for Tess and Toby's sake, that we shouldn't pursue this attraction. After all,” she continued brightly, “once the two of them are married, the two of us will be related too. Which could prove a little embarrassing if we've been silly enough to indulge in an affair.”

Patrick looked down at her searchingly, the silver gaze seeming to see deep into her soul.

Ellie stood that probing gaze for as long as she could—precisely thirty seconds!—before giving a lightly dismissive laugh. “Patrick, isn't it already bad enough that I find going to work extremely uncomfortable, in case I
have to see or speak to Gareth, without having that same discomfort concerning any necessity to see Toby's future in-laws?” She arched dark brows at him.

“You do care for him after all? Is that it?” Patrick rasped.

Care for Gareth? Absolutely not. Ellie could see him for exactly what he was now—and the knowledge was extremely unpleasant. As well as embarrassing.

But wasn't Patrick's suggestion giving her the perfect let-out for what promised to be an even more unacceptable situation…?

“I'm not sure what I feel any more.” She shrugged, though actually claiming to feel anything but contempt for Gareth was lodging in her throat and staying there. “About anything,” she added firmly.

“I see.” Patrick's expression became unreadable and he moved away from her.

Did he? Somehow Ellie doubted that very much. But it was better this way, she told herself firmly. For all of them.

Except…the thought of not knowing when she would see Patrick again gave her a feeling of heaviness in her chest. She rushed into awkward speech. “Of course, I understand there's still a problem concerning Sarah's engagement to Gareth. And if there's anything more I can do to help—”

“Like winning Davies back yourself, for example?” Patrick rasped scathingly.

Ellie drew in a sharp breath at what she guessed was a deliberate insult. “Somehow I don't think so,” she came back evenly; if she lost her temper she might just say things she would be better keeping to herself! Totally damning things, like how could she even
think
of looking
at another man when she was desperately in love with Patrick?

“Then I think we've probably imposed on your good nature enough already,” Patrick assured her distantly, every haughty inch the successful businessman he was.

That heaviness in Ellie's chest instantly got heavier. Well, she had wanted to distance herself from this man, to keep her pride intact, and it appeared she had succeeded. Only too well!

But there was nothing more she could say or do now, without backing down from the stand she had made concerning any sort of a relationship between Patrick and herself.

She glanced at her wristwatch. “If you'll excuse me? I really have to be going now. Toby is so much better, and I promised George I would try to get into the office before lunch,” she explained briskly.

Patrick nodded tersely. “Teresa will probably want to stay with Toby for most of the day anyway.”

“Of course,” she accepted evenly, reluctant to go even after claiming that she had to. Reluctant to part from Patrick not knowing when she would see him again.

Oh, she knew she would see him again some time, at Toby and Tess's engagement and at their wedding, but they would be occasions crowded with lots of other people, when Patrick wouldn't even need to speak to her if he didn't want to. And after today she accepted he probably wouldn't want to.

Patrick gave her another searching glance before nodding abruptly. “I'll go up and see Toby now.”

“Yes.” Ellie looked up at him, hoping all the aching
longing she felt in her heart for him to hold her, to kiss her, wasn't evident in her eyes.

“I'll say goodbye, then.” He turned sharply on his heels and left the room, his back stiff with disapproval.

Proving to Ellie she was a better actress than she would have given herself credit for!

Not that that helped in the least now that she was left alone with her feelings. Part of her wanted to run after Patrick, to tell him that she had made a mistake, that it hadn't been an act on her part at all, that she wanted him with a desperation that made her shake with longing, in any sort of relationship he cared to choose.

But she did none of those things. Slowly she collected her coat from the closet, able to hear the murmur of voices upstairs—Tess's lightly teasing one, Patrick deep baritone—as she let herself out of the house.

It was beginning already, she realised as she drove numbly through the busy streets, totally immune to the Christmas gaiety in the shops around her. Toby was moving away to become a part of the McGrath family, to be enveloped in their warmth.

Something that, after today, Ellie knew she would never be…

“I
T'S
official, sis,” Toby announced happily as he came into the house Friday evening, throwing his outer coat over a chair as usual. “Tess and I went out and bought the ring at lunchtime today,” he explained brightly as Ellie turned from cooking their evening meal to give him a questioning look.

She had been expecting it, had thought she had prepared herself for it, but as the sinking feeling increased in her stomach Ellie knew that she hadn't been ready for it at all.

It was all happening so quickly now that the decision had been made. Toby had dined with Thomas and Anne McGrath the previous evening, in order to ask Tess's father's permission for the two of them to marry. In view of Patrick's favourable opinion of Toby, Ellie had known there would be no objection to the request, and there hadn't been. The McGraths were absolutely thrilled for their daughter, welcoming Toby into their family as if he were another son. Which, indeed, he would be.

Whereas Ellie still hadn't quite come to terms with the fact that she wasn't so much losing a brother as gaining the McGrath family. One member of the McGrath family in particular!

As she had expected, after their last conversation she had heard nothing from Patrick since they'd parted so
abruptly on Wednesday morning. It had been a very long three days!

“The engagement party is going to be at the McGraths' on Christmas Eve,” Toby continued chattily, as he uncorked the bottle of champagne he had brought in with him and took three glasses out of the cupboard.

The engagement party…!

Ellie was filled with a mass of contradictions at the thought of seeing Patrick again. Happiness, because she ached to see him, and despair, because seeing him again would do nothing to alleviate that ache. Besides, he might actually be at the party with someone!

“That's wonderful, Toby.” She pushed aside her own feelings to give her brother a congratulatory hug. “I'm really pleased for you both,” she added with total sincerity, taking the glass of pink champagne her brother handed her. “To you and Tess,” she toasted warmly.

Toby took a sip of the champagne before lifting up his own glass. “To the best Christmas ever,” he returned with feeling.

Ellie took another sip of her drink. Christmas. Despite knowing that it was quickly looming, she hadn't really given it much thought. But now that Toby was engaged to Tess it posed the problem of whether she and Toby would actually even celebrate Christmas together this year.

Christmas always tended to be rather a quiet affair for the two of them anyway, with them having no really close relatives. It promised to be even quieter than usual for Ellie this year!

“We're both invited to spend Christmas with the McGraths too,” Toby informed her as he turned to pick up the bottle of champagne and replenish their glasses.

Ellie was relieved that her brother was actually turning away as he made this announcement, otherwise he wouldn't have failed to notice the look of complete dismay that she wasn't quick enough to hide.

Christmas with the McGraths. With Patrick.

Much as Ellie longed to see him, to be with him, she hated the thought of being invited to spend Christmas with his family as if she were some sort of charity case!

“It's very nice of them to ask me, Toby,” she said slowly, at the same time shaking her head. “But I really don't think—”

“If you don't go, sis, then neither do I,” her brother told her with a frown.

Blackmail. Of the emotional kind. But not deviously so; Ellie knew it was only that Toby just wouldn't be happy leaving her here on her own over the Christmas period. Even if she would have preferred it!

She drew in a controlling breath. “Perhaps for Christmas lunch,” she conceded reluctantly.

“I understand the invitation is for the whole of the Christmas period,” drawled an all too familiar voice from behind her.

Ellie turned sharply to look at Patrick as he stood in the doorway. She really would have to get a lock put on that door, one that came into effect automatically as it closed. In fact several of them, just to be sure!

“We were just drinking a toast to Tess and our engagement.” Toby felt none of the dismay at Patrick's presence that Ellie did, turning to pour some of the bubbly champagne into the third glass he had put out on the work surface.

Three glasses. Which meant Toby had already been aware that the other man was about to join them…

“Cheers.” Patrick toasted the younger man before sipping the champagne. But his gaze, enigmatic over the rim of his glass, remained firmly fixed on Ellie. Who just continued to stare back at him. Toby had obviously known the other man was coming here this evening, but for what reason?

Toby put his empty glass down on the worktop. “I'm just going upstairs to change; I won't be long.”

“Not exactly subtle, is he?” Patrick drawled ruefully once Toby could be heard going up the stairs two at a time. Patrick was wearing a dark overcoat over the suit he had obviously worn to work, flecks of the gentle snow falling outside had settled on his shoulders and in the darkness of his hair.

Ellie had recovered from some of her shock at Patrick being here, although she was still slightly puzzled as to why he was there at all. “Does he need to be?” she said guardedly, feeling decidedly casual in her worn denims and sloppy old blue jumper. Patrick gave a shrug. “I thought I would come and add my—voice to my parents' invitation for you to spend Christmas with all of us.”

His voice? What did that mean, exactly?

He sighed, putting down his glass, the champagne only half drunk. “Ellie, I realise that you probably don't want to spend Christmas with me, of all people, but if I try to keep my presence down to a minimum will you at least think about it?”

“There's really no need—” She swallowed hard, touched by his offer in spite of the fact that he had it all wrong—he was exactly the person she would love to spend Christmas with! Just not under these circum
stances. “It's very kind of your parents to make the offer,” she said non-committally.

His mouth twisted into a humourless smile. “They really do want to meet you, Ellie,” he assured her dryly.

She shrugged. “I'm sure there will be plenty of opportunity for that at the engagement party.”

“Hmm,” Patrick conceded slowly. “Ellie, about the engagement party…”

She looked up at him sharply, tensing defensively as she guessed by his guarded expression that he was about to say something she wasn't going to like. “Yes?” she prompted warily.

“Look, would you mind if I took my coat off? It's very warm in here,” he added, even as he shrugged out of the thick outer coat.

Ellie's wariness deepened. Obviously Patrick wasn't in any particular hurry to leave this evening, and dinner was quite obviously cooking away quite happily on top of the stove, a roast chicken was in the oven; the last thing she wanted was to feel compelled by good manners to ask him to join them for dinner. She would probably choke on the chicken!

“You were saying?” she prompted sharply.

Patrick picked up his champagne glass, emptying it in one swallow before looking across at her once more. “It's going to be a big family party.” He grimaced. “Brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles—and cousins,” he added pointedly.

Meaning Sarah and Gareth would undoubtedly be there…

“What I'm trying to say, Ellie,” Patrick continued im
patiently, “is do you think you could bury your hostility for one evening and come to the party as my partner?”

“Hostility…?” she echoed faintly, knowing exactly why he had made the invitation, but knowing a sense of inner excitement anyway. If he were inviting her to be his partner on Christmas Eve, then he obviously wasn't taking anyone else…

But did he really think she viewed him with hostility? When it was taking every ounce of will power she possessed not to throw herself into his arms and kiss him until they were both senseless? It was a weakness she had no intention of giving in to!

“I don't feel in the least hostile towards you, Patrick,” she told him crisply, at the same time giving a firm shake of her head. “I have no idea why you should even think that I do.” Unless…? Tess wouldn't have told her brother of those remarks of Ellie's she had overheard, would she? She knew that the brother and sister were close, but it would be rather silly of her future sister-in-law if she had; it certainly wasn't guaranteed to further the smooth running of inter-family relations.

Patrick's mouth twisted into a self-derisive grimace. “You were pretty—forceful in expressing your feelings towards me the other morning.”

But surely not to the point where he'd thought she felt hostility towards him?

She frowned. “I believe I admitted to there being a certain—attraction between us—”

Patrick nodded. “At the same time as you told me you still have feelings for Davies!” he bit out harshly.

Well…yes, she had hinted at something like that. But what else could she have done, in the circumstances? She still felt battered and bruised from Gareth's totally
mercenary betrayal two months ago; wasn't she allowed a little self-pride now?

“Let's leave Gareth out of this,” she suggested abruptly.

“I would be pleased never even to hear the man's name again,” Patrick assured her harshly, his face set in grim lines. “Unfortunately, that isn't yet possible. He and Sarah will be at the party on Christmas Eve; there's absolutely no doubt about that. In the circumstances, I think it would be—politically correct if you were there as my partner.” His eyes was narrowed on her compellingly.

Politically correct. How Ellie hated the phrase that seemed to have become so popular over the last few years. But in this case she could see how adequately it described the situation they found themselves in.

Her mouth twisted ruefully. “Not the most gracious invitation I've ever received,” she mocked lightly. “But if you think it will be of any help, of course I'll come as your partner.” It wasn't a completely unselfish decision; she hadn't particularly relished the idea of being at the party on her own anyway.

The tension seemed to ease out of Patrick's shoulders, his expression relaxing into a self-derisive smile. “Not the most gracious acceptance of an invitation
I've
ever received either—but I suppose it will have to do,” he added dryly.

Ellie eyed him uncertainly, not quite knowing what to say next. Patrick seemed to be having the same problem, and the air of tension deepened between the two of them, with only the sound of the saucepans boiling on the stove to breach the silence.

Pointedly so, it seemed to Ellie, and if it were anyone
else but Patrick she would already have invited them to stay to dinner…

Thankfully Toby chose that moment to come bouncing back into the kitchen, changed now into an Aran sweater and a pair of black denims. But he seemed to lose some of his bounce as he noticed the food cooking.

“Did I forget to mention that Tess and I are going out to dinner at a Chinese restaurant this evening?” He grimaced guiltily.

No, Ellie instantly realised with dismay, Toby hadn't forgotten to mention it at all—she was the one who was so muddle-headed at the moment that she had forgotten he had ever told her!

Going to work had become a nightmare, never knowing whether or not she might accidentally bump into Gareth and so be a victim of more of his veiled threats, and life at home didn't feel much better at the moment—she was either pining because she wasn't seeing Patrick, or a trembling mass of nerves when she did. Not a good inducement to remembering anything that was said to her.

Toby glanced at the bubbling saucepans. “Perhaps Patrick—”

“Go, Toby,” his boss and future brother-in-law cut in decisively.

“But—”

“If your sister wants to invite me to share her evening meal, then I'm sure she will do so.” Patrick sharply interrupted Toby once again. “Don't bully her into it, okay?” he added, more gently.

“Okay.” Toby shrugged, as if he couldn't quite see what the problem was but didn't have the time right now to try and find out. “I'll see you later, then, sis.”
He moved to kiss her lightly on the cheek. “I really am sorry about the meal.” He grimaced again in apology, raising a hand in parting to Patrick before hurrying out of the house.

The silence after his departure was even more tense. Except for those bubbling saucepans, Ellie acknowledged impatiently.

“I had better—”

“Would you—?”

They both began talking at once, both breaking off at the same time too.

“After you,” Ellie invited with a rueful shrug.

“Ladies first,” Patrick insisted.

She didn't want to go first, positive that Patrick had been about to say he had better be leaving, whereas she—through sheer good manners—had been about to invite him to share her evening meal. Something she was sure Patrick was well aware of, which was why he was suggesting she go first! Although why on earth he should want to stay and have dinner with her Ellie had no idea…

She drew in a deep breath. “I was about to suggest that you join me for dinner. It seems a pity to waste the roast chicken,” she added dismissively.

Patrick continued to look at her for several seconds. Then his mouth began to twitch, and finally he burst out laughing. He finally sobered enough to speak, eyes sparkling with humour. “You know, Ellie, you do absolutely nothing for my ego. ‘It seems a pity to waste the roast chicken',” he repeated incredulously, before he began to laugh again. Ellie looked at him frowningly for several seconds, before she also saw the funny side of it. She had sounded distinctly uninterested in his answer, to the
point of rudeness. In fact, it was to Patrick's credit that he could laugh about it.

“I'll try again, shall I?” she decided self-derisively. “Patrick, I would like it very much if you would join me for dinner,” she amended ruefully.