The Young Vampire Mate: The Airendell Chronicler Diaries - Book 1.5 (21 page)

Before long I can feel my orgasm building, “Oh Damian…”

He puts his hands on my hips and soothes, “I know, baby.  You are almost there.  Come on, come for me, Breena.”  My body tenses and I can’t move anymore as my orgasm washes over me in monstrous waves of pleasure that are so intense they are nearly painful.  I am shouting, “leannan,” over and over as he takes over moving me up and down on his shaft and intensifies my orgasm even more. 

Soon he is calling my name before he pins my body to his and I feel his seed pumping into my eager flesh as his harsh breathing sounds against my ear.  And then he is kissing me tenderly and caressing my back and bottom as I come back down to earth.

I raise up on trembling arms to smile shyly at him.  He reaches up and caresses my sweat soaked face.  “Damn.  That was worth the wait,” I say with a huge, drowsy smile.  My body feels so languid and sated I want to snuggle into his body and stay there forever.

Damian smiles and says, “I am glad you liked it, mon amour.  I know it was the best damned sex I have ever had.”  I smile happily and relax across his body.  He holds me close as I drift off to sleep.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

I am really not sure how long I sleep.  But when I awaken I can’t help but smile in satisfaction and as I move up his body to kiss Damian.   I feel a little guilty for sleeping on top of my mate when he can’t sleep.  “You should have moved me instead of letting me trap you here in the bed.” 

He chuckles, “No way, mon amour.  I loved every second of it.  Besides you only slept about an hour.”

I nod, feeling relieved that I only kept him pinned to the bed for an hour or so. “I need to go check on Morna.”

Damian caresses my back and smiles sadly.  “Morna is fine, she’s still sleeping.  Luca hasn’t come back yet.  Rinda is in there with her now.  She’s been singing softly while Morna sleeps.”

I nod, “Probably healing songs.”  I frown as I think about my best friend’s behavior lately.  “I think Rinda is still in love with my sister and it breaks my heart.”

Damian raises an eyebrow, “They used to be lovers?”

I nod, lean down and kiss him again before I get up and pour water into the bowl on the cabinet and heat it to wash up.  I am washing the dried sweat off of my face and neck when I say; “A lot of women in our culture, when we were girls and young women would resolve to keep their virginity until they met their mates.  But frequently they would take up with a female lover.  In our culture, it was a very acceptable practice.  Some of those relationships lasted for centuries.  Morna and Rinda lasted about seventy years until Morna met Luca.  However, I think Morna only took Rinda as lover for the companionship.  I always suspected my sister wasn’t really into the girl on girl sex.  She loves Rinda, but her love has never been like Rinda’s.  Rinda wanted them to become mates, for life.”

Damian is slipping back into his jeans when he asks; “Did you ever take a woman as lover?”  I smile and shake my head no.

“No, I never had any interest in having a woman for a lover.” I chuckle when he smiles happily, looking vastly relieved.  “Would you have been angry if I had?”

He shakes his head and suddenly looks very solemn.  “No, how could I be angry for something that happened hundreds of years before I was even born?”  He leaves his jeans unbuttoned.  I have to look away because he just looks too sexy that way.  He comes to stand behind me.  I turn to look back at him and I can tell he’s really troubled about something.  I can feel shame and regret just oozing from him.  I want to wrap him in my arms but I suspect he would resist that. 

“Baby, you should know right after my conversion I was an animal in more ways than one,” Damian says quietly.  “I was part of a huge coven and absolutely nothing was taboo among my nest mates.  In fact, we were encouraged to seek out pleasure for ourselves in all forms.  I was in the middle of a lot of sick shit.  I got caught up in it like all of my coven mates.” 

He rubs his face hard with both hands and then looks up, meeting my eyes in the mirror on the wall.  I see shame written all over his face and my heart breaks for my beloved.  “Breena, when I wasn’t out hunting for a human to drink dry I was fighting and killing my nest mates or fucking them.  I even fucked a few men.” 

Wow!  I did not see that coming. 

“I’m not bi, Breena.  When I did that to men it was a power trip… a dominance thing.  It was about making other vamps that challenged my authority fall into line.  I was making them my bitch in the truest sense of the word.”

I feel bile rising up in my throat but I take a deep breath and remind myself that’s pretty normal behavior in a large rogue coven of vamps.  But knowing it was normal for that setting doesn’t make it any more palatable.

He goes and sits on the bed and covers his face.  “I never did anything like that before then or since… but it was like nothing was ever enough.  Not enough blood, not enough fighting, not enough sex, and definitely not enough control.  My whole being throbbed with need and I was desperate to find something to satiate my animalistic nature.”

I walk over and stand before him.  He looks up at me and then straightens his posture as I straddle his lap where he sits on the bed.  I wrap my arms around his shoulders and kiss him gently.  “I understand.  I know how new converts behave in a nest.  You didn’t have anyone to show you how to control your urges.” 

He starts to speak and I put my finger over his lips.  “I know a great deal about Stone Colds, it is part of the biology after conversion and being in an environment where no one is taught to control their drives.  It wasn’t you.”  I put my hand over his heart and say, “What’s inside and the choices you are making now, that is the real Damian Summers.  Trust in that, Damian.  I do.”

He looks so sad when he says, “Baby, it may be biology, but you have to understand it is still part of who I am.”  I nod because I know it is.  There’s no way in hell he just woke up one day and turned off all of his urges and drives.  I know they are still with him. 

“Breena, some of those humans I killed… they were women and I would seduce them and fuck them hard and when I came I would drain their bodies of every drop of blood.  They would die in my arms with my cock still in their bodies.  How fucking sick is that?”

“Pretty damned sick,” I agree sadly.  “Damian, I can’t say what you did right after you were changed doesn’t matter because we both know it does matter.  Those people are still dead and nothing you ever do can change that.  But that’s not you any longer.  You have chosen to not be ruled by your baser instincts.  You have taken the ultimate in control over those baser urges.  Your mastery is impressive, even Luca agrees.”

“Maybe, but Breena you are the first woman I have had sex with since I left the coven and I wanted to drink your blood when I came.  I can’t tell you how strong the urge was and that scares the fuck out of me.”  He lifts me off of his lap and sets me on the bed.  He stands and walks to the other side of the room.  “Right now, I still want to taste your blood.  You smell so damned good to me that I am terrified what I would do to you if I ever lost control.  Maybe, I should leave.  I am not sure if I can trust myself around you.”

I sigh and say; “Well, I wanted you to meet a friend of mine before ever made love.”  I blush and say, “But my hormones got the best of me.”

“What friend?”  I can feel the jealousy and territorial side of his nature coming to the fore.

“Easy, leannan.  You know for a fact I have never had any other lover but you.  You have nothing to be jealous about.” 

He looks shamefaced and says, “Yes, I know that, but I am still possessive.  And that will probably never go away completely.”

“Probably not,” I concede.  “I shall let you in on a little secret.  I am possessive as well.  The thought of you fucking your nest mates pisses me off and it makes no difference to me that it happened before you met me.  I still hate it.”  I walk over to him and grasp his face between my hands.  “You are mine, Damian Summers and I will not share you and I will not do without you.  So don’t even think about another woman… ever!  I would hate to have to go medieval on your gorgeous ass.”

He smiles crookedly and leans down to kiss me.  “Good.  I’d hate to be the only irrational fucker in this relationship.”

I laugh, “Oh hell no, baby.  Not by a long shot.  You even look at another woman with anything akin to lust I will twist your beautiful ass up like a pretzel.”  He smiles again.  “And don’t think for a minute that I can’t do it.  I am a hell of lot stronger than you give me credit for and my magic is powerful, very fucking powerful.”

“Breena, there could never be another woman for me after you.”

I kiss him.  “I know, leannan.  And the same is true for me.  You are so stuck with me, stud, so get used to it.”

He smiles and murmurs, “Well, it’s a challenge, but I will endeavor to deal with it.”

I punch him in the belly hard enough to make a normal man double over in agony but he just grins at me.  “Smart ass,” I mutter playfully.

He wraps me in his arms and holds me for several moments before he asks; “Why did you want to take me to see your friend before we made love?”

“Because Vlad Tepesh can teach you how to feed from me without injecting your venom in my blood stream.  That way you can have your taste when you come in my arms.”

Damian growls.  “I could never risk that!”

“Yes you could and eventually you will.”  Damian steps back from me shaking his head.  “Vlad’s mate is an Immortal.  In fact, she’s a Greek nymph.  But she said that when Vlad drinks from her when they are climaxing that it is the most wonderful thing she has ever experienced.  That it has forged a connection between them and even surpasses the true mate’s bond.  And Vlad is no longer tense and worried every time he gets near her because he isn’t worrying about killing her if he ever became overcome with a need to feed.  He keeps well fed on animal blood and feeds from her two or three times a week.  Just small amounts at a time, only a pint or so, but it’s more than enough to satisfy him completely.”

Damian walks away from me shaking his head.  He walks to the door and stops with his hand on the door knob, “Breena, you should send me away from you right now and tell me to never come back.  You should never have let me touch you.  I am the biggest fucking mistake you ever made.”

I start laughing, and it’s not a happy sound.  “What’s this? Buyer’s remorse?  Did I not live up to your standards for a lover?  Are you thinking it will be too much trouble to be mated to someone with my limited experience?  Or is it because I won’t be kneeling at your feet begging you to order me around and whip my ass?”

He’s back in front of me, holding my face between his hands so fast I don’t see him move.  “Fuck, Breena!  You damned well know better than that, you can feel exactly what I feel.”

“Yes, I can.  And right now you are so full of regret that I want to crawl off into a hole and die.  I hurt so bad feeling that from you.  Hell, I am still standing here naked after sharing the most beautiful experience of my very long life with you and you regret it!” 

I slap him hard before I think better of it.  Part of me feels really bad because I hit him so hard that he is knocked backwards.  But I am simply reacting to the hurt I feel inside of me and he recovers instantly.  “How the fuck do you think that makes me feel about myself, Damian Summers?”

Damian recovers instantly, leans in to kiss me, gently, tenderly and chastely.  “It probably makes you feel like shit and I am truly sorry for that.  I don’t regret what we shared, but I do regret what I took away from you, Breena.”

“What did you take away from me, Damian?”  I am still feeling hurt and pissed so my tone is harsh.  I take a deep breath and deliberately soften my tone.  “My loneliness?  My insecurities about myself as a woman?  The emptiness that has permeated my existence for centuries?”  I reach up and caress his face where I had slapped him.  “You took nothing from me, but gave me everything I have ever wanted.  But now I feel like you are taking that away…”

“Even with the risk I pose to you, you really feel that way?”  I nod.  “You would really be willing for me to feed from you?  That’s honestly something that you trust me enough to risk?”

“Willing? I am eager for it.  I want to give that to you.  I want to share that with you.  You are my one true mate, Damian.  Not only is that about forever, it’s about doing anything and everything I can to make you happy because I love you and you make me happy.”

“Breena I feel the same way, but I am coming into this with so little to offer you,” he admits quietly.

“That’s just not true, amant.  You will be my safe harbor in the storm, my strength when my own fails, and my conscience when mine becomes hardened.  You will be my protector, my lover, my companion, and my best friend.  According to some very smart people who just know things, you will also give me ten wonderful children and be an amazing father to them and a loving husband to me.  Don’t sell yourself short, Damian Summers.  You bring everything to the bargain that I need and want.”

He leans in and kisses me.  This time it’s anything but chaste.  My passion for him flares again, like a raging wildfire.  He growls and carries me to the bed and lies me on it as he quickly removes his jeans before he joins me in the bed. 

He kisses me again and cups my breasts.  “I love your perfect tits, amour.”  All I can do is snort because I have never learned how to take a compliment, especially about something I consider trivial, like physical attributes.  Damian laughs, “I am one lucky fucker.  Breena, you are perfect, inside and out.”