The Yggyssey (21 page)

"Come to us."

Another step.

"Take it out of the box! Take it out of the box!" Viknik opened the box, removed the amulet, and held it up high.

"I hold the sacred turtle, which belongs to the people!" Viknik screamed at the top of his lungs. Instantly, I felt the weird magnetic pulling stop. The whole audience let out a sort of whooshing breath, a gasp of surprise. I looked up and saw what they were whooshing at.

It was a bubble. It was a large bubble high in the air above the middle of the stage, where Uncle and the witches were standing and looking surprised.

Inside the bubble was a pretty blond lady with a goofy smile, wearing a really silly party dress. The bubble with the lady inside was slowly descending. "Shmenda! Shmenda!" voices in the crowd said.

"What's Shmenda?" I asked the hag with the program.

"Shmenda, the good witch of the Northeast," the hag said. "Extremely good witch. So good, she's boring. But good."

The bubble landed. Shmenda stepped out. Part of the audience cheered her; another part booed her. "Boo! Boo!" "Goody two-shoes!" "Sanctimonius old killjoy!" "Boo, Shmenda!" "Yaay, Shmenda!" "Yaay!" "Boo!" "Yaay!"

The helper witches were cringing and shrinking. It was obvious they were afraid of Shmenda. Uncle just stood there in his cowboy hat, looking confused. Shmenda held up her dainty little hand for silence. The crowd settled down. She turned and looked at the council of helpers, who cringed and shrank even more.

"You bad witches!" Shmenda said. "You bad, bad witches! What did you do? Shame on you! You controlled this well-intentioned but simple-minded man, and in his name you ruled the people and made everyone unhappy! And now these fine children have retrieved the magical amulet, the sacred bunny..."

"See?" Neddie whispered to Viknik. "I told you it was a bunny."

"It's a bunny? Then what's a turtle?" Viknik whispered back.

"I showed you," Neddie said. "Oh, never mind. Listen. Shmenda is saying more."

"Be gone!" Shmenda was saying to the council witches. "You have no power here. Now slink off!" The witches slunk off. Uncle stood where he'd been standing.

"You are not to be blamed," Shmenda said to him. "You are not evil, only weak-minded. Go and sit with the children who have accomplished this great feat. I will go now so everyone can enjoy the festivities. I know they would be eclipsed by my goodness."

"You got that right, sister!" someone in the audience yelled.

Shmenda got back into her bubble and floated away. Uncle came and sat down among us, next to me. He took off his cowboy hat and loosened his muffler. I was astonished.

The dancing witches came onstage, and everyone was clapping.

"You look exactly like my father!" I said to Uncle.

"Really?" Uncle said. "The only person I was ever told I look exactly like is my twin brother."

"You have a twin brother?"

"Identical."

"I don't suppose your name would be Herman 'Prairie Dog' Birnbaum, by any chance."

"It is!"

The dancing witches had finished and the broom jugglers were coming out. The crowd was hollering and clapping.

"I am Yggdrasil Birnbaum, your niece."

"My brother, Buck, is your father? Well, I'll be hornswoggled. Where has he been all these years?"

"Los Angeles. We're planning to go back there after the show. Why don't you come along?"

"I'd like to. It would be good to see my twin, and everyone around here knows me for a nitwit."

"They'll never notice in L.A."

The show just got better and better. There were spinning witches, a ghostly magic show, ectoplasmic fireworks, and the ghostly choir, which did the best singing any of us had ever heard.

"This the first time I've really been able to enjoy the show," Uncle Prairie Dog said. "Now that everyone knows I'm an idiot, and I'm not responsible for anything."

After the ghostly chariot races, and more fireworks, the entertainment came to an end and the crowd began to break up. Chase turned up. She had been looking for us.

"Let's go," she said. "The bus for Los Angeles is leaving in a few minutes."

"We're going back on a bus?" I asked.

"Sure, if you get a move on," Chase said. "Unless you feel like walking and crossing the river and all that again."

"My uncle wants to come with us," I said.

"If he wants to come, let him come," Chase said. "Just don't stand around here and make us all miss it. We'll be back in L.A. in a couple of hours."

Neddie was buying Devil's Shoestring souvenirs for his father.

"Come on, Neddie!" I called to him. "The bus will be leaving!"

Big Audrey asked if she could come with us. She said now that she had been outside New Yapyap City, she had developed a taste for travel. We invited Viknik to come too, but he wanted to stay where he was. "There's no place like Shlerm," he said.

To be continued in
The Adventures of a Cat-Whiskered Girl in Los Angeles,
now available in bookshops in Old New Hackensack, New Yapyap City, and other enlightened communities.