The Year of Second Chances (A Sunnyvale Novel Book 3) (6 page)

He gives a shrug. “For you, sure.”

I bite down on my lip, holding back the goofy grin wanting to plaster across my face. “Kai, you really don’t have to do this. In fact …” I trail off as he begins to curse and pound his fingers against the keyboard. “What’s wrong?”

“I think the computer’s fried.” He pushes several buttons before giving up and setting the laptop on the coffee table.

“I’m sorry.” I suck in a guilty breath. “This is all my fault. All of this is, really.”

“Would you stop saying shit like that?” He slumps back on the sofa, snagging my arm and pulling me back with him. “I could’ve walked away at any moment. I chose not to. That was my choice. I wanted to help you more than I’ve ever wanted to do anything.”

I rest my head against his chest, listening to the thundering of his heartbeat and noting how fast it’s racing, just like mine.

“Still, I want to help … What can I do?” I ask.

“I just want to find a computer so I can look this up for you.” He tangles his fingers through my hair. “What I need is a computer I don’t mind crashing.”

“You could always use the library’s computers,” I suggest, but more as a joke.

“It makes me nervous to access those files in public,” he says, taking me seriously. “If someone saw what I was looking at, I’d be in deep shit.”

“I can be your lookout and make sure no one walks up and looks at the screen.” I lean back to look at him. “I mean, if you really want to do that. I was kind of kidding when I suggested it.”

His lips quirk into the most adorable grin ever. “As cute as that offer is, I don’t think you could stop someone from walking up and looking at the screen without being too obvious.”

“Yes, I could.” I breeze right over the cute remark, though my cheeks react, warming. “I could distract them with my super cool distracting skills.”

He seals his lips together, restraining a grin. “Oh, yeah? How?”

“I don’t know.” I shrug. “By doing something crazy, like pretending my chair tipped over. Or I could fake a faint. Or if it was a guy, I could flirt with them.”

“Flirt, huh?” he questions with hilarity glittering in his eyes. “Do you know how to do that?”

“Yes. I just don’t do it a lot.” Total lie. I suck big time at flirting unless Indigo is with me to take over when I turn into a weirdo, let’s-talk-about-capes-and-magic-powers girl.

He contemplates what I said and then rubs his hands together. “All right, let’s see it.”

“Huh?” I blink. “See what?”

Mischievousness sparkles in his eyes. “See you flirt.”

“With
you
?”

“Either that or we could go ask your grandma’s guy friend to help us out.”

“No way am I going back to her room while they’re in there together.” I make a gagging face. “God knows what they’ve been doing in there for over an hour.”

He grins. “I think you know exactly what they’re doing, and that’s why you won’t go back there.”

I nod. “You have me on that one.”

“Okay, then, I guess you’ll have to show me these alleged flirting skills by using them on me.” He waits for me to answer. When I don’t, he adds, “Unless you’re too scared.”

My eyes narrow into slits. “You know I’m not scared of anything … except maybe people who dress up like unicorns, but that’s for a good reason.”

He gapes at me. “What …? How …? Huh?”

“When I was like six or seven, a guy dressed as a unicorn chased me through a carnival and into the funhouse, and then I got lost.” My eyes widen as I mentally relive the horror. “At least that’s what I thought. I didn’t realize he was just trying to give me a coupon for a free bag of cotton candy. In my defense, he looked more like a cow possessed by a demon than a unicorn. Seriously, his costume was way off. And he really shouldn’t have chased me. It was totally creepy.”

“Were you there by yourself?”

“Yeah. No one would take me, so I walked there by myself.”

“And they just let you go?”

I look away, unable to endure the pity in his eyes. “I did stuff like that a lot. It’s not that big of a deal.”

“I don’t think you really believe that,” he says softly. “I think you know it’s wrong.”

I stare down at my hands, avoiding eye contact with him. “Of course I know it’s wrong. But it’s in the past, so it doesn’t really matter anymore. And honestly, I don’t really want to talk about Lynn or my dad right now, not with what I just learned.”

His gaze burns into the side of my head. “Then what do you want to talk about?”

I lift my shoulder and shrug, peeking up at him. “I don’t know. Something fun.”

“Fun, huh?” The pity erases from his eyes and is replaced by humor, letting me know he’s about to say something that more than likely is going to make me blush. “I think flirting’s pretty fun … if you do it right.”

“Of course you think that.” I roll my eyes. “You’re a natural.”

He seems amused by my declaration. “I am, aren’t I?”

I roll my eyes again. “You already know you are.”

He beams from ear to ear. “True. But that just means I’m a great person to practice on because I’ll be able to give you a few pointers.”

“You’re really not going to let this go, are you?”

“Nope, probably not.”

I decide just how risky this could end up being. “You promise you won’t make fun of me?”

He nods, sketching an X across his heart. “Cross my heart and hope to die, stick a needle in Hannah’s eye.”

I sigh, kneeling up on the cushion. “Fine. I’ll do it.”

He grins, rests back on the sofa, and tucks his hands behind his head. “Okay, go ahead. Impress me with your flirting skills.”

“Wait. What are you going to do?”

“Sit here and watch.”

I scowl at him. “That doesn’t seem fair at all. In fact, it sounds really awkward.”

His lips curl into a smug grin. “Not if you rock at flirting.”

I want nothing more than to wipe that smug smile right off his face. But, I know I’ll never be able to rock at flirting. I am a decent kisser, though. Well, I never got any complaints, at least. Then again, I haven’t kissed many guys.

Not knowing what else to do, I stand up and position myself in front of him.

He angles his chin to look up, the cocky grin playing on his lips. “So, this is your move?”

I shake my head and sweep my hair out of my eyes. I’m rocking skinny jeans and a black tank, not a sexy outfit by any means, but I pretend to be all seductive like I’ve seen Indigo do a thousand times and swing a leg on each side of him, straddling his lap.

The stunned look on his face makes me want to giggle, but I bite it back.

“So, I’ve been thinking”—I rest my hand on his shoulders—“about you and me and how amazing we could be together. Like seriously. I bet kissing you would be way better than any other guy I’ve kissed.” I nibble on my bottom lip, drawing his attention to my mouth.
Heck, yeah, score one for me!
“But the only way to find that out is for us to kiss. It doesn’t have to mean anything. I mean, we can just try it, right?”

His hands drop to my waist, delving his fingers into the sliver of skin peeking out from the hem of my shirt.

“Fuck, yeah, we can,” he all but growls.

I’m starting to give my “ha-ha I won” smile when he leans in.

Wait? What?
I thought we were just playing around.
Tell him you were just playing around!

Instead of listening to my thoughts, I remain frozen as his mouth inches closer to mine.

Okay, I really did mean what I said. I want to find out what a real kiss with him would be like. I want to kiss him, touch him. I want him to do the same thing to me.

Oh, my God, I’m a goner.

Indigo once told me that being completely in love with a guy felt like skydiving, something she’s done once and something I’ll never do. But that’s really beside the point. The point is that she said being in love is like falling out of a plane. Your heart pounds in your chest, and you have this fear inside you that your parachute isn’t going to open, that the person won’t love you back. I’m not sure if I’m in love yet—I’m pretty clueless about love in general—but I’m definitely getting the whole falling vibe right now, like I’m about to dive and am unsure if I really want to.

My heart slams in my chest as his lips near mine. I start to magnetize toward him. His lips are so close. I can’t wait to—

My phone rings from on the coffee table behind us, and both of us jerk back. We exchange a wide-eyed look of astonishment as the phone rings again.

His Adam’s apple bobs up and down as he swallows. “Are you going to answer that?”

“Um …” Does he want me to answer that? Do I want me to answer it? No, I kind of want to go back to what we were doing. But the idea of asking him to kiss me again when I clearly know that I’m not pretend flirting makes my cheeks flame. “Um, I should probably get that in case it’s Indigo or something.”

He nods, biting down on his bottom lip.

It takes all of my effort to drag my ass off his lap and answer my phone.

“Hello?” I ask, sounding breathless.

“Hey.” Kyler’s voice fills the line. “Were you just running or something? You sound out of breath.”

I chuckle nervously. “Me run? Yeah, right, what a funny, funny joke.”

“You should try coming with me sometime. It can actually be really fun if you go to the right places or have great company,” he says. “Maybe we could go sometime next week.”

My gaze drifts to Kai. “Um …”

“Who is it?” he whispers, his brows furrowed.

I don’t know what kind of look I pull, but he manages to figure out the caller simply by assessing my expression.

“Oh.” He cracks his knuckles against the sides of his legs. “Gotcha. My dumbass brother.”

I give him a pressing look, wanting to shout,
No! You don’t get it! You have no idea at all!
But he looks away and fixes his attention on his phone.

“I don’t know if I’ll ever be the running type,” I tell Kyler. “But if you want to do something, we could go get some coffee or some ice cream. There’s something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about, anyway.”

I sense Kai stiffen beside me, and I feel like the biggest jerk. Yep, that’s me: Princess Isa, ruler of the Kingdom of Jerks.

“Yeah, I’ve been wanting to tell you some stuff, too.” His voice changes, the playful, flirty tone turning serious. “I’ve sent you a few texts, trying to get you to meet up with me, but you haven’t answered.”

“There’s been a lot going on … with school and stuff.”

“Yeah, I know. I heard about what happened at school, and I’m so sorry that happened to you. If you need someone to talk to, I’m a great listener.”

The fact that he knows about what happened at school when he doesn’t even go there makes me too aware of how horrible school is going to be on Monday.

“Thanks,” I say. “I’m not sure if I’m ready to talk about it, but I appreciate the offer.”

“Okay, well, just know that I’m here whenever you’re ready,” he tells me. “I mean that with everything, too. If there’s
anything
at all you ever need to talk about,
anything
at all, you can come to me. Like maybe if you want to talk about what’s going on with your mom—your real mom, I mean. I know that has to be hard for you, knowing she’s in prison… I heard she might be getting out, though. Is that true?”

His questions leave a foul taste in my mouth. Why would he bring this up with me? He barely knows me at all. And why ask if she’s getting released.

“I’m really not sure. About anything anymore.” Which is the truth. In fact, the only thing I am sure of is Kai.

I open my mouth to say goodbye when I hear a high pitched voice in the background say, “Are you doing it now?” The question is followed by a giggle. A giggle I’m almost positive I’ve heard before.

Hannah?
Is he with
Hannah?

Maybe I’m being paranoid. Maybe there’s a girl there that sounds like Hannah. But something isn’t sitting right with me.

I tell him I have to go, and he hurries and sets up a meet-up time to get ice cream on Friday at seven after I get off work. I have no idea what I’m going to say to him or how he’s going to react, but my stomach rolls with nervousness just thinking about it.

“So, you decided to go out on a date with him,” Kai says after I hang up. “That’s cool.”

I balance the phone on the armrest and turn toward him. “Is it?”

He shrugs with his gaze trained on his phone, punching buttons. “I don’t know. I can’t read what’s going on inside your head. But I figure you wouldn’t go on a date with him if you didn’t want to.”

“It’s not a date,” I tell him quickly. “At all.”

“Just like the last time you guys hung out wasn’t?” He rolls his eyes. “Honestly, I’m starting to think you might be a little confused over what dates really are.”

“I know what a date is, and that’s not what we’re doing.” I slump back on the sofa with a loud exhale. “If anything, we’re going on an un-date.”

His fingers stop moving, and he glances at me curiously. “An un-date?”

I shrug. “I don’t know what else to call it.”

“But what is it exactly?” He sets his phone down on his leg and fixes his complete attention on me. “I mean, what are you guys doing?”

“We’re going out for ice cream.” I pick at the chipped lilac nail polish on my fingernails. “And then I’m going to tell him that I think we should just be friends and not go out on dates.”

“So, you’re breaking up with him?”

“I wouldn’t really call it breaking up since we were never really together.”

“And it’s just that easy for you to do that? To let go of the guy you’ve been in love with”—he rolls his eyes again—“forever?”

I scrape the last layer of nail polish off my thumb then let my hand fall to my lap. “I don’t think I was ever in love with Kyler. He was just my first real crush, and I didn’t want to let that dream go … But now I feel … I don’t know.” I shrug. “I’m over it, I guess.”

He studies me intently before redirecting his gaze back to his phone. “Well, I think it’s a good thing.”

I study him as he becomes engrossed in his phone. “You do, do you?”

“Yeah, sure.” He tries to act all blasé, but his lips threaten to turn upward. “I know he’s my brother, but the guy’s an asshole, and you deserve so much better.”