The Year I Almost Drowned (15 page)

“I’m getting a drink.” I got up and walked to the concession stand. The pimply

faced, chubby guy working behind the counter asked me what I wanted. He

poured my Coke into a large cup and took the cash I handed him. I put the change

in my pocket and stood over to the side of the concession stand sucking on my

straw,

inhaling

the

Coke

like

it

was

my

last.

And looking around, the familiarity of it, consumed me. My chest was caving in. I

couldn’t catch my breath; my hands were shaking. I had to get it out of there. I

spun around, facing the other direction and hastily walked toward the front door,

but

was

abruptly

stopped

by

Hank,

Jesse’s

dad.

He was drunk. He could barely stand on his own two feet and was about to fall

over. “I saw you standin’ o’er here,” he slurred. I held my breath–to keep calm

and from the stench. He smelled foul, like rotten eggs and whiskey. And he looked

bad–the

worst

I

had

ever

seen.

“I was just about to leave,” I said, which was true. I was heading outside away

from

this

all

too

familiar

place.

“Jesse

won’t

talk

to

me.”

“I’m

sorry,”

I

snapped.

He put his hands on my shoulders and gripped a little harder than he should.

“Make him, Finn,” he said and a strange look of desperation showed in his

drunken

eyes.

“I can’t make him do anything.” I wanted to get out of there immediately. I took a

step

back

and

said,

“I

really

have

to

go.”

“Tell

him

I’ll

quit,”

he

pleaded

after

me.

The cold wind hit me as soon as I opened the door, but I didn’t care. I stood

against the wall shivering, upset by what just had happened and from missing

Jesse, but I continued to stand outside anyway freezing, sipping on my Coke,

and

about

to

cry

my

eyes

out.

Everett was headed toward the entrance with two girls and another guy. He was

out of his police uniform and was dressed in a pair of jeans and a burgundy

sweater that fit closely to his muscular chest. I tried to face the other way so he

wouldn’t see me standing out in the cold like a pathetic buffoon, but there was no

hiding the fact that I was the only person stupid enough to brave the frigid

temperatures

outside.

“You guys go on in. I’ll catch up,” he told them. He came over to me and gave me

a

strange

look.

“Hey,

Finn.”

“Hi, Everett.” I tried to sound up beat, but the lilt in my voice sounded too forced.

Plus,

I

was

shivering.

I

didn’t

have

my

mittens

on.

“You

okay?”

“Yeah,”

I

lied.

“So you’re just standing out here for the scenery?” he asked sarcastically.

“I wanted to get some fresh air. It’s really smoky in there,” I said, my voice uneven

and

cracking

from

being

on

the

verge

of

tears.

He stared into my eyes, tilted his head to the side and twisted his lips. “It’s kinda

cold

to

be

standing

out

here.

You’re

shivering.”

“I’m fine, really,” I lied again and forced a smile. Even though my lips half curled

in

an

upward

motion,

my

eyes

still

evoked

pain.

“My truck is warm.” He pointed to a shiny blue Toyota Tacoma in the parking lot.

“We

can

go

sit

in

it,”

he

offered.

“I’m fine. You can go inside so your date doesn’t get mad,” I said.

He laughed. “Trust me. She’s not my date. I think that light bulb is brighter than

her,” he said, pointing to the outside light shining above me. “You’re actually

saving me from her.” He smiled at me. “My offer still stands.” He gestured to his

truck.

“Okay,” I relented. I followed him to his truck. He opened my door and walked to

the other side to open his. He sat down, turned the ignition and pushed the knob

for the heat to its highest temperature. It smelled like new car and spearmint

inside.

“Meg

and

Hannah

are

probably

worried

about

me.”

“Are

you

out

with

them

tonight?”

he

asked.

“Yeah.

They’re

taking

me

out

before

I

leave.”

“Where are you going?” He moved a little so that he was looking at me.

“To Harrison College. It’s in Georgia,” I answered. “I should text Meg to let her

know I’m out here.” I pulled my phone out of my pocket and was about to text her

but I couldn’t. Jesse’s message, the last one I had gotten from him, somehow

popped up on my screen. I hadn’t deleted it yet. I threw the phone down to the

floor

and

started

to

cry.

Everett leaned forward and put his arm on me. “What’s wrong?” he asked

worriedly. I looked at him and continued to cry. “What happened?”

“He...broke...up...with

me,”

I

said

in

between

sobs.

He pulled me toward him and held me. I lay my head against his chest and

continued

to

cry.

“I’m

sorry,”

he

said

whispering.

I wiped my eyes and pulled away from him. I felt so embarrassed. This was the

second time he had seen me cry. He probably thought it was all I did. “Sorry you

have to see me like this... again,” I said, trying to regain my composure.

“I’ve

seen

people

cry

before.”

“Yeah. Me.” I sniffled. “It seems like that’s all you ever see me do.”

“I’ve

been

in

your

shoes

before,

Finn,”

he

admitted.

“How did you survive it?” I asked desperately. I yearned to know his secret

because I didn’t know how I was going to be able to manage.

“You

just

keep

on

going.

It’s

all

you

can

do.”

I looked at him and frowned. “Everything reminds me of him. Even this stupid

place.”

“That’s normal,” he said. “I couldn’t chew gum for a year because it reminded me

of my ex.” He let out a soft chuckle. “You’ll get through this, I promise.” He

squeezed

my

shoulder

and

smiled

at

me.

“Thank you,” I said. “I should go back inside. They’re probably worried.” I picked

my phone up off the floorboard. I touched my face and gave him a panicked look.

“Do I look really bad? I mean, can you tell I’ve been crying?”

He studied my face and said, “You look fine, Finn. I’ve never seen anyone look

prettier

than

you

when

they

cry.”

I hated to admit it, but I enjoyed his compliment. What kind of person was I? I

wanted to get out of his car fast, because I did not understand my confused

feelings. One minute I’m so depressed I can’t bowl; the next minute I’m staring

into his caramel eyes and flattered because he thinks I’m pretty. I was a complete

and

utter

mess.

“There’s Meg.” He motioned with his head. I saw her frantically searching for me

in

the

parking

lot.

We both got out of his truck and walked toward her. She looked relieved. “Finn,

we’ve been searching all over for you. I was freaking out!” she growled. She got

on her phone and sent a text message, probably to Hannah.

“I’m

sorry.

I,”

I

started,

but

Everett

interrupted.

“She came out for some fresh air, and I wanted to show her my new truck,” he

said,

pointing

to

it.

“You got a new truck!” Meg beamed, forgetting that she was irritated with me.

She ran over to the truck and yelled, “It’s nice.” She peered inside the window.

“Let

me

sit

in

it,

Ev.”

“Are you going to be okay?” he asked me, his hand on my shoulder.

“Yeah.” I nodded. He started toward his truck. “Everett,” I said. He turned to face

me.

“Thanks.”

He

smiled

at

me

and

moved

toward

Meg.

***

When I got home, my grandfather was sitting in his chair asleep. The light shined

on his stark white hair, his mouth was wide open and he was snoring. I tried to

tiptoe, so I wouldn’t wake him, but he heard me anyway.

He shook his head, waking himself and smiled at me. “You’re home early.”

I sat down across from him. “You didn’t have to wait up.” He always waited for

me

to

get

home,

to

make

sure

I

was

safe.

“Just wanted to make sure you got home okay. Did you have fun with the girls?”

“Sure,”

I

lied.

“Doesn’t

sound

like

it.”

“It

was

fine.”

I

forced

a

smile.

He slowly got up and groaned when he heaved himself off the chair. He patted

me on the shoulder. “Don’t fret, Finn, y’all will work things out,” he said.

I hadn’t told him about the break up and was surprised he brought it up. I looked

down at the hard wood floors and tried to keep my composure. “I think it’s over.”

“It’s not over, till it’s over. A love like what y’all have will persevere. Take it from

an old coot like me.” He patted me again on the shoulder. I stood up and hugged

him

as

tight

as

I

could

and

kissed

him

on

the

cheek.

He

chuckled

and

said,

“What

was

that

for?”

“I’m

going

to

miss

you

so

much.”

“Not as much as I’m gonna miss you,” he said. “Goodnight. Get some sleep.

You’ve got a long drive ahead of you.”

I felt like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz when she had to say goodbye to the

Cowardly Lion and the Tin Man so she could get back home to Kansas. Only, I

wasn’t going home. Tampa wasn’t my home anymore, Graceville was. I just

wondered when I would ever want to go back to Graceville again. When could I

be there without that pang in my heart every time something reminded me of

Jesse?

I had promised myself I wasn’t going to cry. I had done enough crying and was

tired of it. I didn’t think I was capable of producing anymore tears anyway. Nana

handed me a small cooler. “To take on your trip,” she said. I opened my car door

and laid it on the passenger seat. I closed the door and looked back at her and

my grandfather. They were both on the verge of tears. Both of them. Nana I

expected. My grandfather, no way. I never expected him to cry.

“Your tires looked low. I put some air in them,” my grandfather said.

“Thank

you,”

I

said

to

him.

“Don’t pick up any hitchhikers. Even if it’s some old coot like me. He could be one

of those serial killers you read about in the paper,” he added.

“I

won’t.

Promise.”

I

smiled

appreciatively.

“Call us when you get there,” Nana said. “So we know you got there in one piece.”

She hugged me tight. I deeply inhaled–smelling her–the jasmine and

honeysuckle mix I loved so much. I wanted one last whiff to remember, to take

with

me.

My grandfather’s expression was glum. He moved toward me with open arms

and gave me the biggest bear hug I’d ever gotten from him. We held onto each

like that for a while. “We’re going to miss you, Finn. I’ve gotten real fond of you

being around. Be careful.” He let go of me and smiled at me. He put his hand to

his

face

and

wiped

away

the

tears.

Seeing him cry made me cry even though I had told myself not to. There was no

point in fighting back the tears–they were going to flow anyway. “I love you both,”