The Wummin: The Glasgow Chronicles 5 (32 page)

Chapter Fifty Four

  Senga nodded at the polisman who wis sitting in the corridor looking bored.  She noticed that he wis sitting wae his wee black book oot and wis playing noughts and crosses wae himsel.  He’d tried making chit-chat wae her earlier oan, bit she’d slung him a deafy.  Sister hid telt her that she wisnae tae get involved in talking tae the polis as they’d probably try tae pump her fur information oan whit Mrs Crawford wis saying.  Sister hid telt her that if anywan asked any questions, whether it wis hospital staff or the polis, she hid tae refer them tae her.  Senga took a deep breath, before chapping oan the door and swinging it open.  Mrs Crawford wis sitting back, staring at the ceiling.  The newspapers wur still sitting where she’d left them earlier.  Senga felt bad...in fact, she wis appalled at whit she’d come oot wae tae Mrs Crawford earlier.  How could she hiv been so bloody stupid and insensitive, she’d asked hersel a hunner times since her last visit.  There wis absolutely no way she wis gonnae ask her aboot daeing an interview wae Pearl’s boss noo.

  “Hello, Mrs Crawford...er, Ah mean, Alison.  How ur ye feeling?” Senga asked, as Mrs Crawford lifted her pad and held it oot tae her.

   ‘I’m so sorry for putting you on the spot earlier.  I got what I deserved.  I appreciate your honesty,’ she’d written oan it.

  “Naw, it’s me that should be daeing the apologising aboot here, so it is.  Ah’m appalled at the lack ae sensitivity Ah showed ye.  Ma only excuse is that Ah’m still learning, so Ah am,” Senga replied, feeling the tears welling up in her eyes, as the patient started writing oan the pad again.

  ‘Senga, you’re one of the most honest and caring people I have ever met.  It’s you that’s been keeping me going since I’ve been here.  When you finish your shift, I can’t wait until I see you again.  You’re my only ray of sunshine in here,’ the pad replied, as a tear landed on it.

  That wis it.  Senga’s eyes opened and the floods came gushing oot.  She sat oan the bed and put her erms roond the social worker, being careful no tae squeeze the heid too tight that she wis cradling.  Even though her ain body wis shaking wae her sobs, Senga felt the social worker’s body shuddering.

  “Christ, Ah’m so sorry.  Ah don’t know whit came o’er me, so Ah don’t,” Senga said, apologising, staunin up and wiping her tears away wae the back ae her haun.

  Senga wis hauf sobbing and failing miserably tae reinstate her work voice, as she fussed wae the blankets oan the bed, making sure everything wis in order.

  ‘What are we like?’ the pad asked.

  “If sister catches me like this, she’ll hiv a hairy fit, so she will,” Senga replied, smiling, as she dabbed her eyes wae wan ae the patient’s tissues.

  ‘Well, she’ll have the two of us to deal with.’

  “Remember earlier when ye asked me aboot a boyfriend and Ah said it wis complicated?” Senga asked, warily.  “Well it’s a bit mair complicated than whit Ah let oan.  Ur ye okay wae this?”

  Senga goat an affirmative nod tae carry oan.

  “Ye see, ma best pal, Pearl, who’s a good bit young younger than me, fancies this boy called Johnboy.  Noo, Johnboy, who gies ye the impression that his heid is up his ars...er...in the clouds maist ae the time, is no as stupid as he makes oot.  It puts me in a bit ae a pickle, so it dis, because Johnboy knows that poor wee Pearl fancies him, even though he makes oot he disnae.  Pearl keeps asking me fur advice oan how she should go aboot trying tae get him interested in her and it kills me tae see the state she’s getting hersel in.  Aw the lassies take the mickey oot ae her aboot it.  Ah hate seeing her getting upset by aw this, especially as wan ae the lassies...or maybe a few who hivnae admitted it, hiv ended up in bed wae him.  Ah feel terrible because although she’s honest wae me, Ah jist don’t think Ah’m the right person tae haud her haun and gie her the support she needs,” Senga said, avoiding any eye contact.

  ‘People themselves usually choose who they wish to talk to.  She’s your friend and she obviously feels comfortable speaking with you,’ the pad read.

  “Aye, well, ye see, that’s the problem, so it is,” Senga said, sitting oan the edge ae the bed.

  ‘What is?’

  “Ah’ve fancied Johnboy Taylor since Ah wis at primary school wae him in the Toonheid.  We shared the same desk in class aw through primary school since we wur five...at least we did, until he ended up getting put away tae remand homes.  His maw, Helen, worked wae ma maw as a school cleaner.  Ah kin remember, oan ma tenth birthday, he turned up at the class wae a box ae Maltesers and a birthday card.  Olive Oyl, oor teacher at the time, made a big song and dance oot ae it in front ae everywan.  Ah wis so embarrassed that Ah never accepted them.  Ah’ve always felt that that wis the worse decision ae ma life because no long efter that, he seemed tae lose interest in me, so he did, and stuck tae running aboot wae his sticky-fingered pals.  Ah wis pretty sick when Pearl confided in me a couple ae years ago how she felt.  If Ah knew whit she wis gonnae tell me, Ah wid’ve goat in there first.  So noo, Ah hiv tae try and support her tae lumber the boy Ah’ve always loved.  How is that fur something, eh?”

  ‘I’m sorry,’ the pad replied, as the patient took Senga’s haun in hers.

  “Ah don’t know if ye’ve ever experienced it, bit tae see somewan ye love, walking up the road, erm in erm wae somewan else…” Senga mumbled, looking doon at her lap.

  Senga felt the patient’s saft fingers lift up her chin and they baith looked intae each other’s eyes, before instinctively reaching oot and wiping the tears fae each other’s cheeks.

  Silence.

  “Whit wid ye dae, if ye wur in ma shoes, Ah mean...Alison?  Whit advice wid ye gie me?” Senga asked. 

Baith their eyes stayed locked, before the patient picked up the pad and started writing before haudin it up tae her.

  ‘Given my track record, are you sure I’m the right person you should be asking?’

 
Senga looked back at the patient’s eyes.  As well as the wetness where her tears hid been, there wis deep sadness and hurt staring back at her.

  “Oh, Ah don’t know.  There wis a poor soul in here recently fur an operation, who wis under escort fae some wummin’s prison oot in Greenock.  She wis daeing life fur murdering her best pal so she could move in wae her man.  She thought getting rid ae the competition oan a permanent basis wid make life a lot easier.  It crossed ma mind tae ask her advice, bit she wis oot ae her skull maist ae the time wae the pills they’d been feeding her in the jail.  Bit if Ah’d asked her, Ah widnae hiv been asking her whit she wid’ve done in ma situation, because Ah awready knew the answer tae that wan, seeing as she wis lying, shackled tae the bed.  Whit Ah wid’ve asked her fur though, wis her advice, seeing as she wis a lot aulder and mair experienced than me.  Mind you, it his crossed ma mind oan the odd occasion that life wid be a lot mair easier if Ah jist bumped Pearl aff,” Senga said, smiling, as the patient’s shoulders started shaking wae laughter.

  ‘Okay, I get your point,’ the pad said.

  “So, whit wid ye advise me tae dae?”

  ‘Be honest with her?’

  “Naw, Ah couldnae dae that.  It wid break her heart, especially efter everything she’s telt me aboot her feelings.”

  ‘What about your heart?’

  “The thing is...no matter whit Pearl dis aboot it, Ah’m no convinced he’ll bite, anyway.  By the way...seemingly, optimism is another trait Ah’m supposed tae be blessed wae… according tae Sister,” Senga sighed wistfully.

  ‘Age difference?’

  “Naw, Ah don’t think so.  Fae whit Ah know ae Johnboy and his crowd, maist ae them wid hiv sex wae a barber’s flair, if they could get away wae it, that is...oh, er, sorry,” Senga apologised, as the patient waved her apology away.  “Naw, Ah think it’s a bit mair scientific than that...it’s mair tae dae wae male thought processes, wae a wee slice ae an unorthodox knowledge that includes human biology slung in tae make it even mair intriguing,” Senga replied, laughing, looking at the puzzled expression oan the patient’s face.

  Senga could see the interest in the eyes staring back at her.

  “Noo, Ah know this is gonnae sound weird, bit remember, we’re no jist talking aboot Johnboy Taylor, the boy-man...we’re also talking aboot the male species here and aw the warped logic that ten thousand years ae evolution his haunded doon tae aw us wummin tae cope wae.  So, here ye go.  Pearl is a red heid, so she is, and so is Johnboy.”

  ‘So?’ the expression in the eyes and the spreading ae hauns asked her.

  “So, Ah’ve seen who he’s gone oot wae o’er the years...at least, when he’s been oot and aboot, that is.  Fur a start, he’s tried tae go oot wae hauf ae ma pals at some stage or another, so he his.  Three ae ma pals, including Pearl, ur aw red heids.  He’s no even gied them a second glance, despite how stunning they aw look wae that fiery red hair...though admittedly, wae tempers tae go wae it.  Anyway, that’s ma logic…or should that be theory?  Whit dae ye think?”

   ‘I haven’t a clue, Senga.  I would like more time to mull it over, but I think you’re wonderful, putting your friend’s feelings above your own.’

  “Oh, Ah widnae say that.  Ah jist wish that slow eejit wid get oan wae it and tell poor Pearl, either way, whether he’s interested or no, so Ah kin get in there and see where Ah staun.”

  ‘Senga, any boy would be so lucky to receive your love and affection.  Don’t worry, you’re young, your time will come.  Take your time.  Look at the mess I got myself in by rushing in to a loveless relationship with a man I knew I could never love,’ the pad said, as the patient touched Senga’s cheek wae her fingers.

  “Look, Ah’ll hiv tae shoot the craw, Alison.  Ah’ve goat a date wae aboot forty overflowing bedpans, so Ah hiv.  Sister telt me ye’re no a real nurse until ye’ve flushed away the fruits ae aw humanity fae the bedpans ae a hospital ward in a busy city hospital like The Royal.  Ah’ve goat three wards tae dae, so Ah hiv.  She said that during the war, that’s aw she did twelve hours a day fur three years solid, when she wis stationed oot in North Africa.  She said it wis the making ae her.  Aw the student nurses in here call her ‘Sticky Fingers’ and naw, it’s no efter the Rolling Stones’ LP ae the same name.  So, Ah’ll come back and see ye later, efter Ah go and enjoy the fruits ae life,” Senga announced, staunin up and heiding fur the door.

Chapter Fifty Five

  “Oh, sweet mother ae God!” Helen hauf groaned and hauf cried oot fur the umpteenth time since Jimmy hid disappeared fur a pint...something he hidnae done in long time. 

  The only time she’d ever hid similar feelings ae pain wis when her maw hid died.  She’d been inconsolable then and she felt the same way noo.  She looked doon at her feet, bathing in the basin ae hot salted water.  She reached across and picked up her good clubby-book gloves and used them tae wipe the tears fae her eyes so she could see whit her feet looked like.  She’d been right, the water wis far too hot.  Baith ae her feet wur two red crinkly tartan blobs fae her shins tae her big toes.  Haudin her feet close thegither, she lifted them oot.  They started tae sting efter coming in contact wae the cauld air ae the kitchen.  She looked doon again, bit they hid disappeared in the steam that wis emanating fae her third degree burns.  At least she couldnae feel the pain fae her corns.  Another wave ae misery swept o’er her.  She stood up oan her bare heels and grabbed her Embassy Regals and matches before hobbling, still oan her heels, alang the lobby fae the kitchen tae the living room where Jimmy hid put oan a coal fire earlier.  Her emotions hid been shooting aboot aw o’er the place.  Wan minute she wis utterly dejected, hurt and miserable and the next, she wis a raving psychopath who wanted tae kill, kill, kill.  She suspected that Jimmy hid done the roonds ae her pals oan the way tae the pub, warning them tae leave her be.  It widnae hiv been the first time he’d done that when she wis oan the warpath and nothing he said tae pacify her wis getting through. 

  “How could they basturts dae this tae me, Jimmy?  Why?  Whit hiv Ah done tae deserve this?  Aw Ah’ve ever wanted tae dae wis tae help people, so Ah hiv.  Tell me Ah’m no a bad person,” she’d howled, screaming at him, as he grabbed her in his erms and tried tae comfort her efter Issie and Ann Jackson hid left.

  Helen hid sat, fighting tae keep her composure, as Issie relayed whit Father John hid come oot wae across in St Teresa’s.  She’d been even mair shocked, stunned and devastated, when Ann said that no only hid Father John telt his congregation, bit that Helen wis noo the talk ae Springburn, efter the three other priests in the area hid followed suit, practically word fur word.  Sitting listening tae Issie and Ann, Helen hid managed tae get the gist ae whit hid been said.  When wan ae them wis talking, the other wan hid listened, heid nodding, before jumping in tae expand and fill in the missing gaps wae whit the other wan hid obviously left oot.  At wan point, Jimmy hid jumped up and gone and goat his jaicket, aw set tae go across tae Possil tae confront the priest...any priest, bit between the three ae them, they’d managed tae drag the jaicket aff ae him and sit him doon in front ae the telly while the lassies went through tae Helen’s wee kitchen.

  “Ah’m telling ye right noo, Helen, Ah’ll never darken the door ae that wee sick basturt’s chapel fur as long as Ah live, so Ah wullnae,” Issie hid growled.

  Wance Issie and Ann hid left, Helen hid fallen tae pieces.  Despite Jimmy trying tae comfort her, she’d declared tae him that she wis gieing up the campaign...throwing in the towel.  The article in the paper hid been bad enough, bit being accused ae advocating abortions, being a lying cow trying tae con people tae get their vote fur some ulterior motive, while hivving never voted hersel, hid aw felt like a dagger stabbing her through the heart.  Maist ae her pals wur Catholic, as wis hauf ae Springburn.  The people who knew her, knew fine well that she wis decent, bit she couldnae honestly say that the rest ae the Keppochhill ward area knew her the way they did.  Her eldest daughter, Isabelle, did hiv an abortion a few years back.  Helen hid only found oot aboot it later.  Admittedly, she hidnae shouted, screamed or beat her back wae a stick.  If she wis honest, Helen hid been mair concerned at the time fur Isabelle and how she wis coping.  Granted, Helen hid been hurt and saddened because she felt that she’d let her daughter doon because Isabelle hid obviously felt that she couldnae come and speak tae her mother.  Helen’s view, rightly or wrongly, wis that a wummin should hiv the right tae choose fur hersel, tae take that decision...no a moral crusader, especially no a priest who wis married tae the church.  Although the abortion issue hid been raised fae time tae time oan the telly and in the papers, Helen couldnae remember the last time she’d expressed any kind ae a view oan the matter.  She wisnae as daft as tae think that some ae her pals, especially the Catholic wans, widnae hiv a different perspective oan it fae whit she hid, therefore, it wisnae something that really came up in conversation.  She suspected that some ae them, Catholic or Protestant, wid’ve taken the same route as Isabelle at some stage in their lives, bit it wisnae something she wid’ve expected them tae sit and discuss, despite the closeness ae them aw.  Helen hid been surprised by Jimmy’s reaction when she’d declared that she wis gieing up staunin.

  “Whit dae ye mean...ye’re gieing up the campaign?” he’d asked her, surprise in his voice.

  “Ye heard me.  Ah’m finished wae aw this political shite.  Ah knew Ah wis kidding masel oan.  Ah shouldnae hiv listened tae that minister’s wife.  Ah wis too busy basking in listening tae how wonderful everywan said Ah wis, insteid ae listening tae masel.”

  “So, ye’re jacking it in then?”

  “Aye.”

  “Walking away wae yer tail between yer legs?  Christ, that’s a first.  That pride ae yers must’ve taken a right kicking, so it must’ve.”

  “Jimmy, shut the fuck up.  You wur the wan that telt me no tae get involved in the first place, so ye wur.  Whit’s changed awe ae a sudden?”

  “Changed?  Nothing’s changed fae where Ah’m coming fae.  Ah still think ye wur bonkers fur jumping in, in the first place, bit it’s no you or me that Ah’m concerned aboot.  How ur ye gonnae explain aw this tae yer pals...aw the waifs and strays that hiv been trooping up tae this door, oan the hour, every hour, looking fur help, eh?”

  “Jimmy, if they’re honest wae themsels, they’ll understaun, so they will.”

  “Whit?  Jist as ye understood whit the implications wur when ye lifted yer heid above the parapet and shouted tae aw and sundry that ye wur up fur taking oan JP?  Christ, Helen, whit wur ye expecting?  Everywan and their dug tae rush up and say carry oan, ye’ll walk it?  Fuck, JP is oot tae crush ye like a fly and the first sign ae trouble, ye want tae jack it in?”

  “Ah hate you!” Helen hid screamed at him.

  “Well, if ye jack this in, don’t ever fucking put me through the mill when Ah come hame fae ma work, starving, tae an empty hoose, while ye’re oot gallivanting, trying tae save the world.  Ye either make a staun wae this or ye finally accept, wance and fur aw, that life is too short and ye’ve goat a family and grandweans who’d like a wee bit ae ye insteid ae everywan else.  Noo, ye kin sit here, doon in the dumps, feeling sorry fur yersel or ye kin pick yersel up and get oot there and get tore intae the basturts.  It’s your choice.  Ah’m aff fur a pint, so Ah am.  When Ah come back, Ah’ll expect ye tae hiv made up yer mind.  Either way, Ah’ll support yer decision, bit aw this moseying aboot, feeling sorry fur yersel, stoaps noo, this very night.”

  And wae that, he’d picked up his jaicket and walked oot the door.  It never ceased tae amaze Helen how commanding Jimmy could be when he hid a fly buzzing aboot in that arse ae his.  Maist ae the time he jist went alang wae whitever crusade Helen wis chomping oan the bit wae.  He’d moan like buggery, bit then he’d jist accept that he wis married tae a mad hysterical she-devil and go aboot daeing his ain thing...like providing the money tae feed, clothe and put a roof o’er their heids.  He wisnae a wee quiet docile man, like some ae her pals thought and he wis never shy at chipping in his opinions aboot stuff, even though he goat it wrang maist ae the time.  It wis when ye backed him intae a corner or pushed him o’er the tap that he wid let fly.  Helen knew that it wis time tae either capitulate or go aheid and dae whitever she wis planning tae dae, bit tae keep him well oot ae whit she wis up tae aw thegither.  She knew she hid tae make a decision and stick wae it.  He’d thrown doon the gauntlet and he’d raise it the second he came through the door.  She reached fur her fags.  She wished some ae the lassies wur here so she could bounce her thinking aff ae them.  Jimmy hid been wrang.  She’d never made promises tae aw the poor souls who’d started turning up at the door.  She’d promised that she wid try and help them if she goat elected.  How she’d dae that, she wisnae too sure.  Even though she wanted tae be elected, she didnae know how it worked.  She knew there wur committees who made decisions aboot hoosing matters, warrant sales and allocating hooses tae people.  She’d thought that if she could get elected, she’d try and get oan tae these committees.  Surely tae God, she widnae be the only wan in The Corporation that wis against warrant sales or making people homeless?  The Corporation hid been aroond long enough tae be able tae come up wae an alternative tae banging people o’er the heid and slinging them oot oan tae the street.  Helen wisnae daft enough tae think she could go and change the world, bit she did feel that she could fight fur Springburn.  She’d been through the clearances in the Toonheid and hid heard the stories ae people being scattered intae hooses wae inside toilets, bit who wur noo stuck up the tap ae a multi-storey flats, wae nowan tae speak tae fur days oan end.  She always believed her maw’s death hid been hastened by being plapped oan tae the twentieth flair, or whitever landing it wis, across in Sighthill.  She remembered a few months earlier, watching guys fae The Corporation, swanning aboot, taking measurements doon at the junction ae Keppochhill Road and Springburn Road in front ae the fire station.  When she’d collared wan ae them and asked whit they wur up tae, he’d said that they wur developing the plans fur the new expressway.

  “Expressway?  Whit expressway?” she’d asked him.

  “Ach, don’t worry, hen, it won’t be in your lifetime,” he’d replied, before walking aff wae his three-legged tripod thingy-mi-jig, slung o’er his shoulder.

  She’d confronted Dick Mulholland, the newly elected cooncillor oan whit the score wis, bit he’d jist palmed her aff by saying that The Corporation hid tae look aheid tae the future, no jist tae the next year, or the wan efter that, bit tae twenty or thirty years beyond the horizon.  He denied that there wis any plans tae build an expressway through Springburn.

  “Aye, they said that in the Toonheid when they started oan the Inner Ring Road, Dick.  Before ye knew it, they’d flattened the place and cleared everywan oot,” she’d retorted.

  “Ach, Helen, ye’re jist too dramatic, so ye ur.  They widnae dae a thing like that in a place like Springburn.  Look aboot ye…the place is thriving, so it is.  Kin ye imagine aw the shoapkeepers oan Springburn Road agreeing tae that?  Look, Ah wid prefer if ye didnae go upsetting everywan noo by talking a load ae shite aboot something that isnae gonnae happen...think ae the auld wans,” he’d warned her.

  Helen wis noo kicking hersel that she’d let it drap and hidnae tried tae follow it up.  That hid been another reason fur trying tae get elected.  If she became a cooncillor, they’d need tae provide her wae aw the plans ae whit they wur up tae, insteid ae keeping aw the people in Springburn, and elsewhere, in the dark, before hitting everywan wae a done deal.  Helen hid wanted tae get aw the maws in the area tae come tae a meeting aboot trying tae get some sort ae youth club gaun at nights.  She’d spoken tae the heid teacher in Gourlay Street Primary School, who’d thought it wis a great idea, and hid offered tae let Helen use the school hall tae hiv a meeting.  Helen remembered that that hid been during the election in 1970.  Dick Mulholland hid asked her tae leave it until efter the election and wance he goat elected, he’d come alang tae the meeting.  Helen hid ignored him and decided tae go aheid wae the meeting anyway.  She’d put in a bit ae time gaun roond the local schools when she knew the maws wid be doon tae pick up their weans at three o’clock.  Everywan hid been up fur it.  Then she’d goat word that the hall widnae be available.  When she’d spoken wae the heid teacher, the heid teacher hid jist looked uncomfortable and hid shrugged her shoulders as if tae say that it wis nothing tae dae wae her.  Wance Dick goat in, Helen hid gone and spoken tae him.

  “Ur ye sure there’s a need?” he’d asked her as if he wis talking tae an eejit.

  “Of course there is.  The streets ur full ae weans, wrecking the place.”

  “There’s plenty ae fitba tae be had across in Cowlairs Park plus there’s a fitba club in the Springburn Halls.  Whit mair dae ye want?” he’d stated as if that wis the solution.

  “That’s okay fur the boys, bit whit aboot the lassies?”

   “Ach, Helen, stoap making a meal oot ae everything.  There’s nothing that says lassies cannae go and kick a baw aboot the place.  Every time Ah go up ma closemooth there’s a wee bunch ae lassies sitting oan the stairheid landing playing at hooses, so they ur.  They seem tae be happy, as far as Ah kin see.  Whit else wid ye want them tae dae?”

  “Look, take ma word fur it, there’s absolutely nothing fur the lassies, and very little fur the boys, other than kicking a baw aboot the place, so there isnae.  We could put oan semi-educational stuff that wid be fun, bit wid help them at school.  The heid teacher said she’d be up fur it, so she did.”

   Helen knew it wis a lost cause, and anyway, she’d ended up getting caught up in a rash ae warrant sales at the time, and that hid been that.  She wis still sure there wis a need, especially fur the lassies...even fur them tae get a wee session ae fitba in the halls withoot aw the boys jumping in and taking o’er wid be a start.  Aye, the lassies wur happy playing at hooses up the closes.  Christ, she’d done the same hersel when she wis a wee snapper, bit if that’s aw they ever knew, how could they ever be expected tae know that there could be a lot mair oan offer fur them tae dae.  Helen nipped through tae the kitchen and retrieved her basin.  She gently eased her tartan feet back in tae the water, groaning wae pleasure.  Whit wis she tae dae?  She wis dreading hivving tae go oot oan tae the street, intae the shoaps, knowing everywan hid heard that wee maggoty bunch ae so-called men ae God destroy her in public.  Wid anywan talk tae her?  She widnae be able tae cope if people crossed the road when they saw her coming.  It wis bad enough that The Corporation suits did that when they wur oot and aboot hassling people, bit her friends and neighbours?  It wis awright fur Jimmy.  He left the hoose early in the morning and came back at night when it wis dark, expecting tae find his tea oan the table.  If she pulled oot noo, wid she be able tae saunter intae the shoaps, knowing that people wur nudging each other, whispering aboot whit a loser she wis?  The alternative wis total humiliation, seeing that smiling, smarmy grinning face ae JP at the coont efter he’d wiped the flair wae her.  She looked at the clock.  Twenty tae ten.  She hid twenty minutes before the pub shut and Jimmy arrived back.  Christ…whit should she dae?