The Wrong Woman (21 page)

“Explain this, please.” Izzy buzzed with nervous energy.

“Miles came every afternoon to see you, Izzy.”

“He did?”

“Yes, he insisted on it. And he begged that he should be able to relieve Aunt Hetty and myself for at least a few hours everyday so that we might rest or take care of household business. He said that he was useless unless he could do something to help. He spent hours reading to you.”

Izzy's mouth hung open in astonishment.

“And you did not suspect?” Cat asked, bewildered.

“No, no one has bothered to mention this to me. He said only that he had been reading some books lately.”

“Oh, really!” Cat rolled her eyes. “I could throttle that man! Yes! He was reading books
while
he was sitting here next to your bedside!”

“That would be why he had read so many of my favorite books...”

“Yes! He was reading from the stack of books on your desk! I am glad that you are finally understanding this.”

“
The Corsair
...”

“Was one of the books he read multiple times. I heard him from the hallway.”

“Oh.” Izzy had grown quiet.

“And he did not say anything of this to you?”

“No, nothing at all.”

Cat paused for a moment, carefully considering her next words. Izzy must know it all or else she might risk losing the man she should marry.

“There is more, sister.”

“
More
? But you have already astonished me.”

“Then I am afraid that you must prepare yourself.” Cat lovingly took Izzy's hands in hers. They sat facing each other as Cat told her the rest of what she knew.

“I do not believe that Miles realizes that I know this about him, so you must use your own discretion, Izzy, if you share what I am about to tell you. But I feel that you must know before you willfully destroy your own happiness.”

Izzy nodded in acknowledgment.

“The night of your fever was the worst I have passed in my life.” Cat could not help the tears that rose to her eyes. Izzy squeezed her hands tightly. “I was so afraid for you, afraid that you would leave me. And Aunt Hetty and I were so exhausted with worrying and watching. But then Miles appeared. He took over, said he would watch with you and we should take some rest. I did not know if he meant it, but he promised to rouse me if anything happened. And I was so tired...”

“Oh, Cat. I am so sorry for all of this.”

“So I rested while he watched with you. But I could not sleep well and it was only a few hours before I wanted to return to your side. I had not been called and I feared the worst. But when I approached your door... Oh, Izzy!”

“What?” Her sister was rapt.

“Before I could enter the room I heard the most heartbreaking noise. Miles was crying over you. Not just tears, sobs, and I swear I heard him call out in prayer. I could not disturb him in his grief, so I waited outside. I don't know how long I was there, but his tears seemed to have no end.”

“He... cried over me?” Izzy was astonished.

“Yes, he did. So deeply and long, Izzy, I could not bear it.”

“For me?” Cat watched her sister's mind work. “But that does not mean he loves me, Cat. Only that he feels guilty and responsible for what happened to me.”

“Nonsense,” Cat protested. “A man does not break his heart like that over feeling guilty about something. I wish you might have heard him that night, Izzy. You could hardly be so cold toward him now.”

“I am not being cold. I am only protecting myself.” Izzy was getting frustrated. “I don't know why you're pushing this. He is going to marry
you
.”

“No, he is not. I have already refused him,” Cat declared.

“You what?” Isobel blanched.

“He asked me out of some misguided obligation and I turned him down. He seemed relieved.”

“He did?” Isobel could not believe it. Cat watched as her sister tried to reason against it. “Still, sister, he did not say anything to me today. I must assume he doesn’t mean to.”

“You are both stubborn fools.” Cat made a dissatisfied noise at the back of her throat.

“Well,
this
stubborn fool is hungry. Would her sister mind bringing her some food?”

“Fine. You can dismiss me for the moment, but we
will
continue this conversation.”

Before she went to find the requested food, Cat stopped at her desk and scribbled a note to Jack.

Dear Mr. Shepherd,

My sister is determined to be stubborn. She does not believe that Miles loves her. You must convince your brother to speak to her again and tell her of his feelings. Were there ever two such fools to deny themselves happiness? I believe we must help them.

With affection,

Catherine Masters

She folded the letter and left it in the hall with the other mail. She hoped that Jack was having more success talking to Miles than she was having talking to Izzy.

Chapter 28

“You
did
speak to her?”

Miles did not respond to Jack as they climbed the stairs into his house.

“Miles, you cannot avoid me forever.”

“I can certainly try,” Miles growled as Watson helped him off with his coat and hat. Without waiting for Jack, Miles stalked into his study and poured himself a drink.

“I only want to know if you spoke to her, that's all.”

“Of course I spoke to her. We exchanged quite a number of words,” Miles muttered into his glass.

“You know that's not what I meant,” Jack protested.

“I do not wish to speak of it.”

“Fine. But I
will
find a way to get this out of you.”

“And I
will
find a way to keep refusing you.”

“That is what you think...” Jack left Miles in blessed peace.

Except it was not peace. He could not cease thinking about what had just passed. In his mind he had seen exactly what he would say to Isobel. He would go into her room and, at her smile, he would declare how much he admired and cared for her. She would fall in his arms, into an embrace like the one they had shared the night of the ball.

But the reality of what had happened had been so different and confusing. She had not showed any feeling toward him at all.

And so Miles now sat and brooded, analyzing every detail of their conversation.

Jack reentered the room.

“I still refuse to speak to you, brother,” Miles mumbled.

“That's not good enough, Miles. I will sit here until you talk to me. This is too important and I will not leave it up to you.” Jack planted himself on the sofa opposite where Miles was sitting.

“It concerns only me, and so you will, indeed, leave me alone.”

“You are so very wrong, brother. I am sorry to have to tell you that. I have looked up to you for many years now. I've desired to be like you in so many ways. And yet, in this, I think you are entirely mistaken.”

“I am flattered by your reverence for me,” growled Miles. “But I do not know to what you refer.”

“I should just let you ruin your own happiness, you know. And I might do, if I did not so much esteem Isobel. She, at least, deserves to be happy, even if
you
are determined to be miserable.”

Miles did not answer this.

“Did you speak to her of your feelings this afternoon, Miles?”

“I did not.”

“Why did you not? Could there have been a better time? You love each other and you almost lost her. Would you risk losing her again?”

His brother was right. But he did not know how hard it was to speak of something like that.

“Why did you not speak to her, Miles? It is unaccountable!” Jack rose from the sofa in frustration.

“Jack, you understand nothing of it,” Miles exclaimed with a burst of feeling. He rose and began to pace around the room like a caged cat, unable to rest for all the emotions boiling within him.

“Then tell me, Miles. Tell me.”

Tell him? How could he put into words all that had passed this week? “I wanted to speak to her, of course. I went there with the intention of declaring how I felt about her. But when I entered the room, she treated me as if I were no more important to her than anyone else. I could barely look at her for fear of giving myself away. She would have seen what I felt for her... and... I believe she would have despised me for it.” It felt so silly when he said it all aloud. And so desperate.

“How can you say that she would despise you?” Jack asked Miles. “She has been nothing but kind to us.”

“I have been the cause of so much misery and pain for her...” Miles had stopped pacing. His shoulders sagged as he uttered the words.

“And you somehow expect to cause her more misery by telling her that you love her?” Jack rolled his eyes.

“I think it will cause her pain, yes.”

“What?” His brother exclaimed loudly. “That is ridiculous.”

“She is good and kind and loving. I think if I declared myself that she might feel obliged to accept me. I could not deal with that obligation.”

“Yet you came to town for the Little Season to fulfill just such an obligation to marry someone. Do you say that you would have endured misery, then?”

“I did not expect to love.”

The brothers fell silent while both contemplated what Miles had said.

“Jack, I was going to marry because it was expected of me. I never thought to love my wife.”

“And now the idea scares you to death,” Jack shook his head.

“Yes, in truth, it does. I do not wish to speak to her and oblige her to me if she does not love me.” Miles sat back in his chair with an air of defeat. He loved Isobel, but that love would surely turn sour if she married him because she felt that she had to. “I could not live like that.”

“Thank God for Isobel. She has reminded you that you can feel something, hasn't she?”

“Yes. Even when I have caused her such misery with my words and actions, she smiles at me and thanks me for helping her family. Oh God, Jack. I want her to love me. I want to know it. Then I can know what to do. But she did not show anything of her feelings today.” Miles dropped his head to his hands.

Jack stared at him for a very long minute before saying, “It is a good thing I have this note from Cat, then.” Miles' head snapped up.

“Note?”

“Yes. Cat and I have been talking --”

“Scoundrel,” Miles' mouth quirked into a half smile.

“Scoundrel I may be, but I have vital information that may interest you.”

“What?” Miles leaned forward in the chair.

“No, I shall not tell you. You have firmly declared that you are unwilling to seize your own happiness in this matter. I feel I should respect your wishes.”

“Dammit, Jack!” Miles lunged from the sofa, but Jack was quicker and kept the note out of his reach.

“You are that determined?”

“Yes!” he lunged again without any luck. “Please.”

“Very well,” Jack laughed. “I will relieve you of your misery. Cat says that Isobel loves you, but
she
thinks you do not love
her
.”

The air went out of his lungs. “Isobel loves me?” Miles could not believe it. “But... how?”

“You will have to ask her about that. Cat suspected that Isobel liked you even before the ball.”

“Even before...” The ball. He remembered the sight of Isobel at the top of the stairs in all her sensual beauty. He remembered the fall. And helping her to the room. And going to find her later. And the dance. And then the kiss...

“Even before that, Cat was arranging things. She told me of an afternoon when she pretended to be ill just so that you and Isobel would spend time alone together.”

“The scheming wench,” Miles laughed. Joy bubbled up from every part of him.

“She is a clever girl. I do like her excessively,” Jack grinned.

“And it seems that her scheming worked, doesn't it? I do believe it was that afternoon alone with Isobel that changed my mind about her.”

“So, Miles, if she loves you – and I do not quite understand how she can – can you bear to deprive her of the happiness of your company for the rest of her life?”

Miles grinned. “You tease me, Jack. But I see that you mean to make me follow my heart.”

“Yes, it is good that you remember you have one. Wesley would have reminded you long ago.”

Miles sobered at the mention of his brother. “He would have, yes.” Wesley would never have let him sacrifice himself for duty when he could do his duty and have his desire.

“It is not so bad, then,” Jack said, “to do the unexpected, to follow what is in your heart.”

“When did you become so wise, Jack?” Miles smiled at his brother.

“I had some excellent teachers.” Jack grinned back at him. “So you will speak to her?”

“Yes.” He checked the mantle clock. “It is too late to return today, but I will go tomorrow.”

“Then by tomorrow evening, I expect to own the privilege of having a new sister to tease.”

“I hope that you shall.”

“Courage, brother! She loves you.”

Miles could not keep the grin off his face.

Chapter 29

The next afternoon, Cat and Aunt Hetty joined Isobel in her room. They sat and talked quietly while Isobel dozed in and out of sleep.

“I wonder if we shall have any visitors today,” Cat said as she pulled a strand of blue thread through the small piece of muslin she was working.

“There is hardly anyone left in town,” Aunt Hetty answered, not looking up from her own sewing.

“I know of at least one person...” Cat began in a sly voice.

Isobel had closed her eyes to rest, but now opened one of them and looked toward her sister.

“I know which
one
you are thinking of, sister, and you may stop it.”

“But, Izzy!” Cat protested.

“Stop. I beg of you.”

“Aunt Hetty,” whined Cat, “tell Izzy she is being a fool to waste her own happiness on a mistaken idea.”

“We cannot tell your sister anything, my dear,” Aunt Hetty said calmly. “She has made her own decisions, no matter how foolish we think they are. And besides, her happiness is hers to waste.” Cat giggled in delight at her aunt's speech.