The Wolf Within (37 page)

Tate climbed to his feet as well and stared at me. I wondered what he was doing.

“Stay still,” he said in a weird tone of voice.

Suddenly it hit me. He was trying to use whatever he’d left in my head when he’d thralled me. The thing Marco had removed.

He thought he could
control
me.

Well, let him think that.

I stayed where I was, not moving, then, as he lunged for me, I swung the cross again, pressing it into his face near his eyes. There was another flare of light, this time even brighter and heat sizzled up the chain making me drop it.

Tate howled and staggered backward clutching at his eye. Movement caught my eye in the trees behind him and the shape became a black clad Taskforce agent lifting a gun.

“No!” I yelled.

Certainty flowed through me. Tate was mine.

The gunman hesitated and another shape burst from the woods.

Dan.

He leaped toward Tate and Tate, already alerted by my yell, pivoted almost too fast for me to follow. He met Dan with a snarl, and Dan howled as Tate ripped his fangs into his neck. The smell of blood, fresh and hot filled the air. Too much blood, too quickly. Tate had torn something big. If I didn’t do something, Dan would die.

I wasn’t going to lose him again.

“Tate,” I snarled and the vampire turned back to me. Blood stained the lower half of his face and I froze as Dan fell to his knees behind him, clutching at his neck.

Tate smiled at me, nothing human or sane in the expression and I knew he meant to kill me.

No more games.

No more excuses. If I wanted to live then I had to use everything I had. Every part of me.

Tate started toward me, moving purposefully and I finally let go of the iron control I’d been exerting over my wolf. Triumph surged through me as the world went blurry then Tate was on me and we rolled through the dirt, his fangs against my claws and teeth.

I moved and twisted instinctively, every part of me focused on the need to kill the enemy, to defend the pack, defend what was mine. Tate’s teeth slashed through my fur and I howled. An answering howl rose through the night air and I knew some of my pack were there, lending me their strength.

I twisted again and got free of him, leaping backward to land, my paws planted squarely in the dirt, as I watched his every movement.

I had hurt him. The foul taste coating my tongue was his blood. A growl rumbled low in my throat. I crouched as he stood to face me, every muscle in my body tensed against the pain sizzling along my nerves, each tear and bruise burning like fire.

“At least you have more fight than your family,” Tate said into the stillness of the air. “You’re still going to die though.”

No
. I wasn’t sure if it was my thought, or Jase’s or the packs or something else entirely but I didn’t care. Everything seemed to shimmer crystal clear in the moonlight, each leaf of the grass gleaming at me. I could see the hairs on Tate’s head moving in the breeze, see the tiny muscle tremors that telegraphed his intentions. Smell his insane urge to kill.

But my anger was stronger and I embraced its power. I leaped for him, arcing through the air with more strength and speed than I thought possible. He moved but I still hit him square in the chest with my front paws, my teeth snapping for his throat.

They closed over flesh and I couldn’t control my reactions any more than I could control my need for air. My fangs sank into his throat, tasting warm skin and the rotten taint of his blood, then twisted, tearing through his windpipe and closing around the bones in his neck. I bit harder and as our momentum carried us and we headed for the ground, I twisted savagely then let go and watched Tate’s head bounce across the grass as his body thudded to the earth.

Howls and cheers filled the air as I skidded to a halt, rolling over and over in the grass, doing my best to spit Tate’s blood out. Wolf mouths aren’t designed for spitting. The taste coated my tongue, acid and rotten.

I didn’t care. Not with Tate lying dead in front of me. I threw back my head and joined my song to those around me, howling with grief and victory and the sheer joy of being still alive.

***

They made me stay in hospital overnight in Ellensburg. I didn’t think I needed it, most of my wounds healed once I changed back to human form but somewhere along the line I’d fractured most of the bones in my right foot and they would take a few more changes to knit properly. At least the hospital had a never ending supply of mouthwash and toothpaste. I felt like I’d never scrub the taste of Tate out of my mouth.

But apart from a lingering limp and a near obsession with Listerine, I was okay.

Dan wasn’t so lucky. They rushed him back to Seattle for surgery on his neck where Tate had damaged the arteries. And on his wrist, where the silver had burned through muscle and started eating its way down to bone.

When Jase picked me up in the morning, I made him take me straight there. Only to be met by Ani in the hallway outside the ICU.

“He doesn’t want to see you,” she said before I’d even said hello.

Disbelief made my jaw fall open. I’d just saved his
life
. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m sorry, Ashley but he asked you to stay away.”

“What sort of male idiocy is this? I want to see him.” I went to push past her then remembered how furious I’d been when Dan had charged into my hospital room uninvited after he’d bitten me and flounced over to the bank of plastic chairs in the hallway, planting my ass with a thud. “I saved him, for Chrissakes.”

Ani came and sat next to me. “Yes, and currently, he’s about as happy about that as you were when he saved you.”

My head hurt. And that wasn’t the only thing. I rubbed my eyes before I started crying. “That makes no sense. I was mad about the werewolf thing.”

“Ash, he’s sick and hurt and you probably terrified the life out of him. Plus. . . .” she hesitated and my heart started to beat harder.

“What?”

“They’re not sure if his left arm is going to heal properly. The silver did a lot of damage. It took both Sam and I to get him to change. And he’s too weak to do it as often as he needs to repair himself.”

Dan crippled? I had to close my eyes for a moment as I took it in. Then I opened them. “I don’t care about his arm.”

“Well, he does. He knows he forced you into the claim and he won’t tie you to an injured wolf. He’s got a bee in his bonnet about it for some reason.”

I frowned. Dan should know I wouldn’t care about him being injured. Then I remembered the conversation I’d had with Tate. The one about half-crippled wolves and being useless and needing the strength of the pack to protect me. Had Dan somehow mixed all that up in his head?

A snarl rose in the back of my throat. Idiot male. I wasn’t going to let him ruin things now. “Just let me talk to him, we can work this out.”

Ani shook her head. “No. I’m going to respect his wishes. You can see him at full moon. If he comes.”

Her tone was full blown Alpha. I couldn’t disobey. Which didn’t mean I had to like it. I pushed up from the chair. “Fine. Tell him he’s an idiot, from me.”

“You can tell him yourself when you see him. Unless you can think of something else he might like to hear.”

I glared at her. I knew what she was doing. Telling me if I told Dan I loved him then maybe I could fix things.

But why would I tell a stubborn wolf who didn’t even trust me to stick by him that I loved him? Only someone who was as big an idiot as he was would do that. “I’ll see you at full moon.”

***

Two weeks had never passed so slowly in my life. I had plenty to do, between trying to salvage my relationship with the clients I’d left in the lurch and working with the Taskforce to unravel Tate’s holdings and try to track down the source of the mutated vaccines. Smith hadn’t been found. After what had happened with Tate the first time, no one was making the mistake of assuming the not-so-good doctor was dead. The Taskforce were crawling through my father’s papers and records from Genasys. We hadn’t found anything yet but we weren’t giving up.

Jase helped but he wasn’t around as much as normal. He spent a lot of time at Marco’s and he wouldn’t tell me if it was voluntary or not. In fact, he clammed up every time I tried to raise the subject. Which only made me feel guilty because I was the reason Marco now knew about his powers.

But a girl can’t work every minute and I had plenty of time to stew about Dan. I even let Bug lecture me about him when she came to see me.

Stupid man. He had to go and complicate things just when it had started to seem straightforward.

Matters weren’t helped by the fact I was getting hornier and hornier as the full moon approached.

By the time I headed for the Retreat the day of full moon, I’d worked up a pretty good head of mad to counteract my nerves about returning to the pack and the place where Ben had died. Still, it wasn’t easy turning into the drive and I’d delayed so much that the sun was starting to set as I pulled up in front of Ani and Sam’s house.

“Where’s Dan?” I asked as Ani opened the door.

She rolled her eyes. “Let’s worry about that after you change, okay? You know you shouldn’t be cutting it this fine.”

I eye-rolled her right back. I was pretty sure I could control my wolf now. “I did okay with my control with Tate.”

She smiled wickedly. “Right up until that part where you bit his head off.”

My stomach lurched a little. I had tried to avoid thinking too much about killing Tate and Rio. Let alone
how
I’d killed Tate. “Let’s not talk about that,” I said.

“Okay. Just don’t get cocky. This is full moon and you don’t get a say. Go change your clothes,” Ani said.

It was close to dark by the time I slipped into the woods. Ani was with me again but there was no other circle of back-up. I found myself looking forward to the moon as energy sizzled under my skin. I tilted my head back, smiling up at the sky and waited for the kiss of silver light to fill me with power.

***

The change was uneventful. I didn’t hunt, just ran through the woods, reveling in speed and the sensation of eating up the ground beneath my paws. In reality, I was hunting for Dan but I didn’t catch his scent at any point and eventually, I returned to Ani’s as the sun rose and crawled into bed, exhausted and even more confused about what I should do.

Ani woke me around midday with a cheerful, “Pack meeting in an hour.”

She was way too chirpy and I hid my head under the pillow. Pack meeting. I’d see Dan finally. Question was, what reaction would I get? In all my thinking, I’d known one thing, even if I hadn’t really wanted to admit it.

I wasn’t ready to let him go. Not again.

Only trouble was, I had no idea how to convince him of that.

***

The first person I saw as I headed for the main house was Natalie, sitting by herself on one of the garden benches directly in my path. I hesitated, not sure if I should just go around her and avoid the inevitable confrontation. But then she looked up and smiled at me and something lifted in my heart a little.

I walked over to her, sunlight warming my skin. The air smelled like the pink and yellow roses blooming in the garden bed. “Natalie, how are you doing?”

Her smile was a little shaky but she nodded. “I’m hanging on.” She ducked her head a little. “I think I owe you an apology.”

I shook my head. “No apologies.”

“What I said to you—”

“You were upset. Don’t think about it.”

“Okay.” Her smile grew stronger. “Okay, thanks. But if you ever need a favor—”

I felt an answering smile bloom across my own face as something occurred to me, a way of maybe making Dan deal with me. “You know, there might just be something you can do for me.”

She looked puzzled. “What?”

I sat down next to her on the bench. “There’s something I need to know.”

***

After my conversation with Natalie, I was running late for the pack meeting. She’d answered my questions then gone on ahead. I’d heard her chuckling to herself as she walked across the grass. I was glad someone thought it was funny, because now that I’d had my brilliant idea, I was starting to feel distinctly nauseous.

My foot twinged a little. I wriggled my toes, glad of the distraction. The pain was almost gone after my change but I still limped slightly. It was tempting to use that as an excuse to stay right where I was but Ani would kick my butt for missing the meeting.

So I told myself to stop being a wimp, that facing Dan wasn’t as scary as facing Tate, and walked up to the house.

Everyone was already sitting in the circle as I walked into the room, feeling like I might just throw up. Heads turned toward me as I closed the door behind me. Sam was standing in the center of the ring of wolves and I saw Dan sitting near Ani.

My eyes met his and he looked away. I narrowed my eyes. Right. If he thought he could avoid me then he had another thought coming.

Despite the fact he wouldn’t look at me, Dan looked good. Not pale and bruised like he had at Tate’s. Apart from a bandage around his right wrist, he looked just fine. More than fine, actually, my heart sped up just looking at him and then redoubled as his scent hit my nose.

“So,” said Sam, looking at me curiously. “Who has business?”

My throat felt dry but I managed to say “I do.” I stepped into the center of the circle, ignoring the buzz of voices, looking only at Dan. He, apparently, was fascinated by something in his lap.

“What business?” Sam asked.

I looked at Dan again and wondered if I was crazy. But knew I had to find out. “I call claim,” I said loudly. “I call claim on Daniel Gibson. Full claim.”

Dan’s head flew up as the room exploded into conversation. Full claim meant bonding if we decided. It was a marriage proposal, or close enough to. Or so Natalie had told me in our little chat. If Dan turned me down he turned down any right to pursue me in the future.

“Full claim,” I repeated with only a slight quiver in my voice as Dan’s eyes finally met mine, all liquid silver that I might just drown in.