The Witches of Snyder Farms (The Wicked Garden Series) (15 page)

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Irvine, 2010s

             
The call went to voicemail. Over and over again.

Gretchel realized that she had little choice but to dial a number she had sworn she’d never call. No answer, again. This time, she left a message. “Bea, this is Gretchel. I insist that you h
ave
my
son call me immediately. Ame’s been in an accident, and Zach needs to come home.
Now
.”

Gretchel
wanted to break things. She wanted to run for miles and miles and miles. She wanted to pull her hair out. She wanted to find Diana and tear her limb from limb.

The demon inside her
head wanted her to go for an infinite swim in the lake.

“Fuck!” she screamed.

Teddy jumped. Babysitting Gretchel was nerve-wracking work.

When Marcus forced Gretchel to go home and get some rest
, Teddy had promised to stay with her. He’d tried holding her while she slept, but she had nightmares anyway. She screamed all night long. The only thing keeping him awake now was coffee and adrenaline, and his tolerance for Gretchel’s outbursts was growing limited.

“
Knock it off!” he yelled. 

“I can’t take this, Teddy. I don’t know who I’m going to murder first.
Should it be Grand Mama for taking the liberty of announcing Ame’s paternity, and for failing to tell me my mental illness was hereditary? Or should it be my mama for going along with it, and refusing to tell me anything concerning their damn research? Or should I drive to Chicago with an ax and chop up those god-awful people keeping my son? I’d have the most fun strangling Michelle Brown, but she would enjoy it too much. Maybe it should be Diana, who was more than happy to tell me I’m not the one for her son? Or perhaps her son, who bought the car
that almost killed my daughter!”

That was it. Teddy was too tired to fight her anymore.
He put his head on the table and closed his eyes.

He’s pure done in. Give the lad his rest
,
a voice whispered in Gretchel’s head. She’d heard them all night and all morning.

A keek o the stories an hell’s gate opens wide. Yer a weak little quine!

Quit nippin at her heid!
another squealed.

“Shut up! Shut up!
Shut up!” Gretchel screamed, hands on her head.

Teddy popped up again
. He grabbed her shoulders, and shook her hard. “Stop this! Pull yourself together or I’ll take you to the psych ward myself.”

Gretchel pressed her fists against her mouth, looking very much like she was trying to suppress another scream. 

Teddy softened. “Just call him, Gretchel. Call Eli.”

Then she did scream. “No!”

He took a deep breath. “Really? You’re really going to let him walk away?”

“If he doesn’t now, he will later, Teddy! His mother made that quite clear. I know I’m always wrong, Teddy. I know I make terrible decisions. But
you don’t know what it feels like to be told that you are going to be cast aside by the love of your life because fate is bringing something better his way!

Teddy stood up, looked at her sympathetically, and put a hand to her soft cheek.

“Honey, how do you think Eli felt when you walked away with Troy?” he said. It was as if he had stuck a dagger in her chest and was twisting it round and round. “Maybe there’s a reason Eli didn’t tell you about that part of the prophecy himself, and maybe there’s a reason Diana did. At the very least, give him a chance to explain. You owe him that. You owe
yourself
that.”

∞

Eli opened his eyes—reluctantly and painfully—at just after one in the afternoon. Slowly, gentled, he levered himself upright and rubbed at his face. What had he done? What had happened? Was Ame really his daughter, or was it a dream? Had his mother really told Gretchel that he would leave her one day? Had Gretchel really told him to go now? Did the guy at the bar really know Gretchel?

“It
was
all a dream son,” Peter said with a knowing smile. He was sitting on the floor in the lotus position, gazing at his son. “The thing of it is it happened in the dream we call reality, so get your ass up, get in the shower, and let’s figure this thing out. I’ve nothing to do here. For the first time in my life, I think I may be bored, and the promise of two wild redheads may be the only cure for this godforsaken condition.”

“Where’s Mom?”

“She’s gone to buy you some clothes, although I don’t know why you can’t just wear mine. I rarely need them.” Eli looked confused. “Your bodily fluids had a party of their own while you slept.”

Eli looked down at himself.
Oh god!
he thought, turning his head at the sight and the smell that finally registered.             

“Your
mother’s promised to butt out, by the way. She’s going to let you do what you need to do. So what’s it going to be big guy? What do you want?”

“As soon as the tequila stops oozing from my pores I’m going to the cottage
.”

∞

It was nearly three in the afternoon when Teddy, Holly, Cindy and Ella had finished bringing in all the flowers and balloons that friends had sent to Ame in the hospital. Gretchel had calmed down considerably once Ame was home safely. She felt as if she could breathe again.

Ame was sitting in the storybook
chair looking sore and spaced. She hadn’t had a moment alone with her mother since they’d come to pick her up. As bad as her body hurt, she needed to speak to her one-on-one. Soon.

Cindy had brought pizza for a late lunch, and they all sat around
the living room eating and chatting softly. Ame’s cell phone never stopped ringing, buzzing, chirping, and bleeping. She finally just turned the ringer off.

“Who are the roses from?” Cindy asked, admiring a dozen typical reds that sat in the corner.

“Peyton,” Ame answered, and then rolled her eyes.

“Trouble in paradise?” Teddy asked.

Gretchel watched her daughter closely. “I broke up with him.”

“Why?” Cindy whined. “He was so sweet and cute
.”

“He
was hot for Mom,” Ame stated flatly. Gretchel’s eyes grew wide.
Oh dear...
she thought,
No, no more... I can’t take any more.

There was a knock at the door
. Gretchel leapt up, grateful for the chance to extricate herself from this conversation. More flowers and a package, but these flowers were different. They were for her. A gigantic bouquet of white roses with a few red ones scattered throughout. Gretchel didn’t have to look at the card to know who they were from.

She carried them to the kitchen, sat down
, and read the card anyway.

We have more roses to paint, and I won’t do it without you. I hope you didn’t forget that I love you. - Hermes 

Gretchel looked to Teddy who stood in the doorway. Her eyes were full of tears. He understood. He started picking up plates. “Folks, I hate to break up the party—because I do love a good party—but Ame needs some rest.”

Everyone
took the hint. They were all gone within minutes.

Gretchel sat the roses
on the end table next to Ame. She looked at her daughter, and prepared to speak, but Ame beat her to it.

“I’m sorry
, Mom!” she cried. “I’m so sorry I drove like that when I was angry.”

Gretchel
sat next to her daughter carefully and rubbed her shoulder... the good one. “I’m the one who should be sorry. I should have told you a long, long time ago. I was scared, and that is such a heinous excuse.”

“Why isn’t Eli here?
Did he not want you to tell me? Why didn’t he ever say anything? Why didn’t he ever come looking for me? Did he not want me? Is that why you both kept it secret?”

Gretchel thought she might die,
just keel over from heartache. “No, no, no. Eli didn’t know,” she cried. “I lied to Eli. That man loves you more than you can even begin to understand. He loved you even before you were born—when you were just a swimmer in my belly. He loves you now, Ame. He wants you to be his daughter. He’s so glad of it, I know he is.”

“Then why isn’t he here? I want to see him.
I
need
to see him!”

Gretchel sobbed.
“He’s not here because I sent him away.”

“You did
what
?”

“He’s still here, Ame. He’s still in Irvine, and he was desperate to see you last night. He sent me these flowers, so I guess he still wants to see me, too—although I can’t imagine why.

“I got a little… crazy last night. I was worried about you, and I was angry at Miss Poni for revealing my secret, and I was upset about something that Eli’s mother told me.” Not to mention an ambulance siren had triggered a severe flashback.

“You’re not the only one who had a hard day yesterday, Mom. Deal with it.”

Gretchel nodded, abashed, and then handed Ame the package. “This is for you, from Eli. It came with my roses.”

Ame opened the brown
paper wrapping and she opened the lid of a little velvet box to see an amethyst and diamond ring sparkling back at her. She gasped. Gretchel gasped. There was a note inside the package.

Ame with an E - I was saving this for your birthday, but then I realized that I had no idea when that is. We have a lot to talk about. This ring was custom made for you. Please give me the chance to keep my promises. My love for you is infinite.  - Your father... Eli-with-an-I.

              Gretchel was sobbing.

“
I want to see him, Mom. I want to see my father. Please don’t drive him out of my life again.”

CHAPTER TWENTY

Irvine
, 2010s

             
Teddy had gone to the main house with Gretchel’s family so that she and Ame could have some time to talk. He returned when Gretchel sent him a text saying that Ame was sleeping.

             
Eli pulled into the driveway just as Teddy was about to open the front door. Teddy paused.

             
“How is she?” Eli asked.

             
Teddy shook his head, still overwhelmed and beyond exhausted.

“She’s not good, Eli,” he said. He wiped a stray tear away with a printed silk handkerchief. “There was a time when she was happy and sane. It didn’t last long. It was when she was with you on Pringle Street. You heal her, Eli. I don’t know how you do it, but you do. And she could use some healing right now.”

Eli shook the other man’s hand. “Thank you for being her guardian, Theodore.”

Teddy shrugged, and then he grinned. “It’s what they sent me here for.” And with that, he was on his way.

Gretchel was curled up in the storybook chair wearing a red kimono-like dress. There was a mountain of used tissues on the floor next to her. She looked up when the door opened, and she started crying again as soon as she saw that it was Eli.

He bent down, and
—softly, apprehensively, like he was reaching out to touch a feral creature—laid his hand on her knee.

Eli looked at Gretchel’s face. She couldn’t look back.
“I hold myself completely responsible for the accident,” he said.  “I should have asked you first. It never occurred to me that Ame couldn’t handle the car. I didn’t know. I’m just thankful she’s alive. I’m so grateful that she’s going to be all right.” Eli’s tears dropped into Gretchel’s lap. “But I don’t know how to fix us.”

Gr
etchel was quiet for a long time.

“
I’m sorry I never told you the truth,” she said as she lifted his head and looked him in the eye. “You would have been the perfect father.”

“Why did
n’t you tell me then, Gretchel? Why didn’t you tell me when you first got pregnant?” Eli’s voice was strangled, strained. “I would have done anything for you, for her—even if she wasn’t mine! Why did you leave me?” Eli dropped his head again and sobbed. Gretchel rested her head on his curls and cried with him.

Later, they were calm enough to talk some more.

“The voice in my head—the Woman in Wool—wouldn’t let me be happy, Eli. She wouldn’t let me stay with you. She said that I didn’t deserve it.”

“Is that the only reason? I thought she was quiet when we were together.”

Gretchel shook her head, and tears scattered across her dress.

“So what else was there?”

“Pride.”

“Pride?” Eli asked incredulously.

“I was a whore in college
, Eli.”

“I don’t c
are how many guys you screwed! I never cared!”

“I’m not just talking about sleeping around. I’m talking about having sex for cash. Troy paid me to sleep with him from our first night together.
I tried to pretend that it was something else, but it wasn’t. I was a prostitute, Eli, and the freakier I got, the more Troy paid me.

“The farm had suffered some bad years, my family was still in debt from the accident, and I couldn’t ask them for a dime. I was determined to do what I needed to do to stay in school.”

Eli was struggling to take in this new information.
“But you
didn’t
stay in school. You left me, you dropped out, and you
married
Troy. You let that monster raise our daughter—
my
daughter! Why?”

A fresh batch of tears came
pouring out of Gretchel’s eyes. “There’s a video tape.”

“A video tape?” Eli was entirely unprepared for this answer.

“Yes, a video tape. It has something very, very horrible on it. Something that happened to me months before I met you. I didn’t know that it had been videotaped until Troy came back from Chicago at the beginning of my sophomore year. That was when he burnt me with the cigarette lighter to make me admit to sleeping with you. Do you remember?”

Eli
nodded. He remembered.

“Well, he also made me watch the tape. The whole thing.”

“What’s on the tape, Gretchel?” Eli asked, his voice shaking.

“I can’t tell you. It’s too awful.
Teddy’s the only one who knows, and I’ll never tell anybody else. Troy held it over my head until the day he died. Seventeen years I’ve been living in fear that someone—anyone—might see it. I don’t even know where it is!”

Gretchel paused to catch her breath. “Well, I think I might know where it is, and that thought scares me to death.”

“Gretchel,” Eli said. “None of this matters anymore. I don’t care if you slept with Troy for money. I’m sorry that you felt you had to do that, but it’s over. And, whatever’s on that tape, it’s in the past. It can’t hurt you now.”

“But there’s more.” Gretchel’s voice was numb.

“Everything. I want to know everything. I
need
to know everything.”

Gretchel took a deep breath, and then she let it out.

“The night Troy came back to town, he took me to a bar and fed me shot after shot. I saw the Horned God on a bottle of
Jägermeister
. He wanted me to protect myself, but I couldn’t. The voice in my head was too strong.

“By the time I
knew I was pregnant, Troy had already shown me the tape and he had seen the positive test in my dorm-room trashcan. He knew that he owned me.

“He cut my belly just to prove it. He told me that he would cut me again—that he would pull my baby right out of me—if I crossed him one more time.”

Eli felt sick. 

“I had to make a choice between you and my baby,
Eli, and I knew with all of my soul that this baby had to live. I chose to do whatever it took to keep Troy from killing her.”

Gretchel slid off the chair into Eli’s lap. He stared at her in silence.

“But Grand Mama was right. Ame was conceived in pure love.”

Eli heard Gretchel’s words, and his consciousness expanded.

In an instant, he knew why his mother had been so overbearing. He realized why his father had been so paranoid and reclusive. He understood why Teddy had been willing to fight for Gretchel.

Eli forgave Gretchel, and he accepted that he had nothing to forgive.

“You’re my hero, Gretchel,” he whispered into her ear.

“No, you’re
my
hero,” Gretchel shouted. “You save me.  Every time the voices come back, you silence them.

“
I’m sorry I’m so fucked in the head! It’s not what I want for my kids, and it’s not what I want for you!”

“Be your own hero, Gretchel. That’s Graham Duncan’s advice, right?”

She laughed and sobbed at the same time.

Eli
kissed Gretchel softly on the forehead. His lips found the scar left behind when Troy had thrown a beer bottle at Gretchel’s head almost twenty years earlier.

Ame stifled yet another sob. She had been sitting at the top of the stairs the whole time. Listening.