The Willingness to Burn

The

Willingness

To Burn

The Willingness to Burn

By J. P. London

Copyright © 2016 by J. P. London. All rights reserved.

The Willingness to Burn is a work of fiction. The names, characters, places, and incidents in this book are products of the Author’s imaginations or have been used fictitiously. Any resemblance of characters to actual persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental and not intended by the Author. The Author holds exclusive rights to this work.

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by electrical or mechanical means unless given permission in writing from J. P. London. The only exception is by a reviewer who may quote short excerpts from this book in a review.

Chapter 1

“So, what are we celebrating today?” Evan asked, swirling a single ice cube in his glass.

“What
aren’t
we celebrating?” Jace responded with a grin, which caused the other man to laugh.

Taking a sip of his drink, Jace drummed his fingers against the oak bar that spanned nearly the entire length of the lavish room inside the Danton hotel. “Nah, I got this huge deal dropped in my lap at work today.”

“Yeah?”

Jace nodded once before he continued, “So I’ve been researching this company and its players for the past week and a half.”

“Uh huh.” His response was quiet, but thankfully the music in the bar was soft, making their conversation more relaxed. It was what kept them going back to that bar. The fact that it was a far cry from the loud, pulsing environment that today’s stock brokers and future masters of the universe fancied, was what they enjoyed.

“And today, Mark came in and told me that I’m running point on what could be a close to a hundred-million-dollar investment.”

“No shit!” Evan exclaimed as Jace tried his hardest to conceal his grin by tapping his fingers along the side of his glass.

“Yeah, dude. So it’s the retirement account for this company.”

“What do they do?”

“Something with logistics. It doesn’t matter.”

“And how much research have you done, exactly?” Evan jabbed.

“The point is—” Jace raised his finger for effect “—they have
a lot
of money in funds that they are looking to roll over, and if I can nail them down, I’m fucking golden.”

“Nice!”

“Cheers.” Jace raised his glass. Evan followed suit, making their glasses filled with amber-colored liquid clink together over the bar. Jace took a swig of his glass, nearly finishing it, then cleared acidic booze from his throat before speaking. “And if I keep this up, I’ll make partner in no time.”

“Dude, that’s great!”

“I know, right? That’s the dream right there.”

“Well, shit, you’ve been there long enough, huh?”

“Right?” Jace silently tapped his fingers on his glass again.

“How many years now?”

“Eight.”

“Wow, eight years …” Evan let his words drag out.

Jace looked up to face Evan.

“Tell me about it. What an experience, man.”

“I can imagine. I remember when you were just an analyst.”

“God, don’t remind me.” Jace threw his head back and rolled his eyes while both men laughed.

“That seems so long ago and yet so recent.”

“I’m sure.”

Jace paused for a moment looking down at his drink, his five-thousand-dollar watch in his peripheral, and thought back to the days when he had no money, rode the train to and from work, and slept only four or five hours on a good night.

“Honestly, I could never do that again.”

“I’m sure you could,” Evan reasoned.

“Yeah, probably if I needed to, but fuck if I’d want to.”

Evan smirked. “I hear that.”

“How about you? How’s work going?” Jace adjusted his seat to turn slightly toward Evan.

“It’s good. We’ve got this new project I’m working on.”

“Anything good?”

“It’s actually really cool.”

“Yeah?” Jace’s eyes lit up.

“So cool, in fact, I can’t talk about it.”

“Ahhh, what a jip!” Jace complained.

“Don’t I know it.”

“Another one of those?”

“Yeah. They even had to up my security clearance.”

Jace nodded but didn’t say anything, understanding full-well that that was the end of the details on Evan’s new project.

“Which means they’re probably going to be looking more into
you,
too. So stay out of trouble.”

Jace smirked at the tone of his words. “Your association with nefarious characters?”

“Exactly.”

“So I should flush that kilo of blow?”

His joke earned him a stern look from Evan.

“C’mon, you know I’m kidding,” Jace pleaded, trying to get the look off of Evans face.

“Yeah, I know, but if they heard you say that they might not see the humor in it.”

“Who’s listening?”

“It’s … the government; they’re always listening.” Evan motioned toward their cell phones sitting on the bar in front of them with a tip of his head.

Jace nodded and downed the rest of his drink.

“Well, fuck ‘em if they can’t take a joke, right?”

Jace raised his hand to the bartender to signify that he would like another drink. Steve, the barkeep, nodded. Evan sighed deeply, making Jace turn his attention back toward him.

“I’m kidding. Don’t worry, I’m squeaky clean, brotha.”

“All right, good.”

“So, they got you running the place yet?”

Evan laughed, the mood officially lightened. “Not quite yet, I’m riding shotgun on this project, though. And that’s the step before running my own.”

“Nice!”

Steve slid the drink into Jace’s hands and grabbed his tab receipt, leaving the two men to their conversation.

“Then it’s gonna be a race to see which one of us makes partner first,” Evan said, shooting Jace a grin.

“Oh, is it?”

“Yeah.”

“Well then. May the odds be in your favor,” he joked raising his glass in mock salute and took a swig.

“You missed a word there, buddy.”

“Ehh, whatever, I think you’re winning anyway. You’ve only been there, what? Four years now?

“Five, but—” Evan said, raising his finger “—you started at entry level; I didn’t.”

“That’s true.”

“So, I think we’re pretty neck and neck.”

“Yeah, I guess so,” Jace muttered, tapping a silent melody on his glass.

Evan swirled his drink and took a small sip. “So, you still dating Gina?”

“
Yup
,” Jace said, shrugging his shoulders and letting the word drag out. He twirled his glass and took a large sip.

“You don’t seem too thrilled about it.”

“It’s going fine, I guess—it’s just … It is what it is.” Jace tipped his hands up in a shrugging motion.

“What does that mean?”

“I don’t know, man, I mean she’s hot, and she’s cool, I just don’t have that spark with her,” Jace explained.

“Then why are you dating her?” Evan asked skeptically before taking a small sip from his glass.

“Because I’m a completionist.”

“A completionist?”

“Yes.”

“You know that’s not a real word, right?” Evan peered over at Jace and a moment of silence ensued.

“I’m comfortable with that,” he finally said, making Evan chuckle. Shrugging, he continued, “I began dating her because of those reasons, so why not? I keep dating her, because despite having no real chemistry, we also have no real reason to break up. So I’m just going to continue to ride this relationship out until my disinterest or the way she hums when she eats drives us both to its inevitable conclusion.”

Evan stared at Jace blankly for a moment, letting his words sink in. “Well, that sounds like true love to me,” Evan said sarcastically.

Jace chuckled. “I know, right? It just … It all feels so
mundane
.”

“How so?”

Jace took a large sip from his drink. “I don’t know, man, it’s like instead of falling in love as most people do, I feel like I’m just completing a series of tasks to accomplish a goal.”

“Jesus Christ,” Evan said in shock. “That’s awful.”

“We go to dinner and I make her laugh, because I know she likes to laugh. I’m charming and I ask a lot of questions because I know that’s how rapport is built. I even cuddle with her on the couch because I know that’s going to lead to sex.”

“Is that all it’s about?”

“No, honestly, I don’t
not
like her. I mean, she’s cool, and I don’t want to hurt her or anything, I just don’t feel it the way she seems to.”

“Are you still dating other people?”

“We’re not exclusive.”

“Does she know that?” he cocked his eyebrow at Jace.

“She should.”

Evan rolled his eyes. “Kids these days ...”

Jace smirked. “We’ve never had the relationship talk, so until then it’s all open game,” he justified.

“Uh huh …”

Jace shrugged.

“Okay, so back to what you were saying. What makes it mundane?”

Jace took a sip of his drink and sighed deeply. “It just feels preprogrammed and unnatural, and as a result, I just don’t feel anything, and it’s not toward just her, it’s every relationship.”

Evan shot Jace a puzzled look and took the last sip of his drink.

“Okay, so take this girl for example.” Jace began to talk loud enough for the two girls sitting a few stools down to them to hear, but kept his focus on Evan, motioning over his shoulder.

Evan glanced over and saw that both of the girls were eavesdropping.

“Oh, one more drink, Steve,” Jace said to the bartender.

Evan shook his head toward Steve. Jace nodded and mouthed, “One more, please.”

“Dude!”

“It’s okay.” Jace winked. “Where was I?”

“The girls over there.”

“Right, that red headed girl seems interesting to me.” Jace glanced over his shoulder and smiled. “Her style, that unique jewelry she’s wearing. And she’s a whiskey girl which already separates her from the crowd.”

“And ….”

“And, I mean, I could talk to her, sure. She’s gorgeous, but what then? We’d have some witty banter, some laughs, and then we’d meet up for a second date. We’d get to know each other more and more and probably have sex. But then what?”

Evan looked perplexed, so Jace simply continued instead of waiting for him to respond.

“I almost feel like I’m emotionally isolated—cut off from other people. I’ve just been in sales far too long.” Jace turned, leaning his back against the bar, and began to speak out instead of toward Evan.  “We would date, have fun, and get to know each other, but that draw to someone where you just can’t live without them; you wake up with them on your mind and smile on your lips; you can’t wait to see them—that’s what I would be missing.”

“Maybe you just haven’t met the right girl yet,” Evan reasoned.

“Now you sound like Mom.”

Evan smirked.

“I don’t know, man, I just want to meet someone who can keep up with me and make me understand the true meaning of a Nicolas Sparks book.”

“That’s oddly profound.”

“I mean that, and that
Fifty Shades
book. But ya know.” Jace grinned, in his peripheral he saw the redhead giggle so he shrugs, his own smile growing.

“Uh huh.” Evan nodded.

“Speaking of true love and devotion, how’s Lilly?”

“Good, good, things are going great.”

“What are you coming up on, three years now?” Jace asked, taking the final sip of his drink. He raised his hand to get the bartender’s attention. “One more please.” Steve, who was already pouring Evan’s drink, smiled and nodded, turning over another cup and continuing the pour.

“Yeah. That’s crazy. I feel like the wedding was yesterday.”

“Dude, your wedding was so much fun.”

“I think any wedding is fun when you sleep with not one but two bridesmaids.”

“Just a shame it wasn’t at the same time.” Jace grinned at Evan.

Evan laughed. “I bet.”

“Well, keep going strong, man. You guys are the foothold of my belief that true love really exists.”

“Will do.”

Evan sipped what was now only ice out of his glass right as Steve brought over the drinks Jace ordered for them.

“Speaking of which, I’m heading home to the wife.”

“But your drink just got here.”

“I told you I didn’t want it.”

“You’re leaving me already? Alone to fend for myself?”

Jace looked over at the redhead and grinned. She smiled back. Evan looked over and saw her friend put her jacket on.

“Something tells me you’ll be just fine.”

“One can only hope,” Jace said, shaking his head.

“All right, man, great to see ya.”

“Yup, you as well.”

Evan and Jace embraced each other in a hug then Evan walked away. Jace sat back down at the bar facing the front then turned his head to see the redhead doing the same.

“You know, if you’re going to eavesdrop, you should be more subtle.” He smiled at her.

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah, come here.” Jace motioned to the stool next to him with his hand.