The Wilful Daughter (31 page)

June made her way through the house, through its three bedrooms, its large kitchen and small dining room and did not find her sister. “Peter, where is she?” she shouted. He watched her without moving.

“
She went for a walk. Towards the school. She just went for a walk.”

June went out the front door slamming it behind her and walked back toward the town they had just passed. “I didn’t see her on the road when we drove in,” she shouted back to him.

Peter stepped outside letting his hand block the bright light from his eyes. “That’s what she told me. Maybe she went into the woods.”

“
You want me to help you, Miss June?” Toby asked. He didn’t want Fannie and Ella mad at him if this little filly went off and folded when they weren’t around.

“
No,” she shouted and the baby kicked hard. It had never done that before. The sensation startled her. Was something wrong? She had felt little things before, but this pain was full and strong. And as quickly as it came, it went, leaving behind a warm feeling of pride. My baby, June thought. My baby inside of me. A tear slid down her cheek. Minnelsa must be crying somewhere alone, knowing she was not going to have this feeling.

“
No,” she said again but less agitated. “Toby needs some food, Peter. He has to get back. If Minnelsa is nearby I’ll find her.”

She didn’t turn back to see them, didn’t ask their permission, didn’t care for their approval. She just started walking. Once she was on the road and away from the house and sure they couldn’t see her, she took of her shoes and sighed with relief. She walked slowly in the warm sunshine, waiting, hoping for another one of those wonderfully strong kicks. She left Peter and Toby behind without a thought, because they were just men. But she wondered had the baby done this, kicked hard and lively, because its father was near? She hoped not. Now she was not sure she should be here, but she was so lonely for family she had to come.

She came to a clearing and saw a small body of water with some ducks playing about. Near them she saw a woman sitting staring out at the water.

“
Minnelsa!” she called from the road and hastened towards the water. “Minnelsa!” she cried out again and tears, hot and huge, filled her eyes. She had never wanted to see anyone as bad as she did at this moment in time. “Minnelsa!” she shouted and walked quickly fearing running would be too much.

When Minnelsa saw her baby sister, the tears she had just stopped flowed again. She was so happy she got up and ran to her leaving her own shoes, bag and gloves on the shawl she had with her on the ground.

They hugged and kissed and cried like children. She felt her sister’s growing belly and laughed and laughed when the baby kicked again.

They sat on her shawl staring at the quiet of the pond and holding hands as if they had been separated for years.

“
I didn’t mean to upset you, June. But I had no one else to write to.”

“
I’m glad you wrote. I was lonely, too. I think it was wrong of mama and papa to burden you with my baby. You’re married now and you should have your own children.”

“
It gets lonely here, especially since I’m not teaching.” Minnelsa touched her sister’s hair. “Look how it has grown. The baby must have done that. I didn’t want to ask you to come here, but losing the baby.” She sighed instead of crying. “Peter didn’t understand.”

“
Men don’t understand.”

“
Like the baby’s father?” Minnelsa asked with sincerity.

“
No, like papa. You could come back and stay with me at Ella and Fannie’s. You’d be happy there, Minnelsa. It’s so different from home.”

Minnelsa held her head down. “But June, I have a husband. I just can’t leave him.”

June laid her head in Minnelsa’s lap as she had done when she was little and felt her sister’s hand tenderly rubbing her shoulders, stroking her hair. “It’s just taking some time to. . .”

Suddenly Minnelsa was crying again. “We were both so happy until I discovered I was pregnant. He became so distant when I told him. He said it wasn’t right. We had promised papa. I reminded him I had a life too. Then he started talking about how could we take your baby and ours back to Atlanta only months apart in age.

“
That’s when I told him I didn’t want to go back to Atlanta. I wanted to start life here.”

“
And what did he say to that?” June was sitting up and turned her face towards the pond, smiling at the ducks.

“
He was shocked. He didn’t believe that I would want to leave my family behind. He said we had property there now and. . .”

June turned quickly, the baby shifted from side to side. “That’s all he ever cared about,” she realized. “The property. He only wanted the property.”

“
I know he loves me,” Minnelsa whispered. She would have cried but June touched her, rubbing her back as she had rubbed Willie’s so many times when they were young.

“
I never said he didn’t, Minnelsa. I’m sorry. You’re so unhappy right now and I keep saying the wrong things. I’m not sure what to do.”

They sat there for what seemed like hours for neither one of them looked forward to going back to the house. They watched the ducks and threw tiny stones trying to make ripples in the water. Later, when children came past all but ignoring them in their romp, Minnelsa shook her head. “My child. . .”

“
You can have others,” June reminded her.

“
But this one was important. To me and to Peter whether he wanted to admit it or not.” She pulled herself together. “No matter what, your little one will have so much love.” She touched her sister’s stomach.

June put her hand on top of her sister’s. “I’m not so sure I want to give her up.”

Minnelsa’s reddened eyes grew large with disbelief. “But June, what would you do?” Then she added: “How do you know it’s a girl?”

June laughed. “Ole Ma told me. They say she’s never wrong.” June looked at Minnelsa. “I might want to stay here, live like I’ve been living. I haven’t been happy in Atlanta since Willie died.”

They both nodded. “What will you do about your baby?”

“
The baby has a father, remember?” she laughed wiggling the cheap band on her finger so her sister could see. “My late husband killed in the saw mill accident?” There was a smile behind Minnelsa’s grim and worried look. “Papa’s idea of how to save our family’s face.”

“
He won’t give you a dime, you know. Not unless you do as he says. I tried to defy him and look what it cost me.”

“
I can learn to live without the Blacksmith. I’ve been living without him for all these months.”

Minnelsa rose then and helped June to her feet. They walked across the carpet of green grass and fragrant flowers but not the way June had come. Minnelsa had a short cut, between two huge trees and some overgrown bushes and they were within sight of the house. Toby’s car was gone. June sighed.

“
Tired?” Minnelsa asked.

June nodded and let out a big yawn. Minnelsa laughed and hugged her close.

They could hear the music as they got closer to the house. It flowed out onto the road and called them in. But June was wary of it for she had been fooled by this music before. It made no sense for her to feel this way about the Piano Man and his music.

“
When I can’t sleep,” Minnelsa said with a burst of sudden joy. “He’ll play for me. Out here, there’s no one around to be bothered by the music. Sometimes he plays all night. He puts a candelabrum on the piano, dims all the lights and builds a fire, then tells me about the places he’s been while he plays. His music is such a beautiful background to his story.” Now it was her turn to sigh. “We were so happy once.”

“
This is probably just temporary, this feeling,” June tried to reassure her. She knew she should have been able to find better words but the baby moved and all she wanted was sleep.

Peter stopped playing when they came in. Minnelsa looked at him then dropped her head as he spoke. So subservient, June thought. Just as my father raised her.

He got up from the piano and walked toward her sister not seeing June at all. “Minnelsa, you look tired. You need a nap.” Then he looked at June. “Are you sure her being here won’t upset you?”

“
Why should it, Peter? She’s my sister?”

He kissed her face to calm her. “I know that. It’s just, the baby. I was afraid. . .”

“
Maybe she should be here if the baby’s going to be ours.” She kissed him back and left the room with her sister.

June didn’t realize how tired she was until she laid down on the bed. The weight of the baby sometimes was so incredible that it often, like now, lulled her to sleep when she least expected it. When she awoke, Minnelsa had washed her face and her feet and removed her dress leaving her in the cool room to rest comfortably.

Finding her suitcase empty she assumed the chest near the window held her clothes. Her sister had finally left her side for a while. Fresh cut flowers were on the dresser, their bright yellow color matching the wall paper of the room. Outside there was no piano playing. She smelled food and realized that she and the baby were starving.

* * *

Minnelsa at the stove was an unusual sight. Her prim respectable ladylike pose was accented by a starched clean apron. Minnelsa had seldom cooked at home. The family found her cooking less than palatable. With a man to feed all the time, June hoped she had better luck in the kitchen.

“
Peter is working with the local choir. He watches them practice, since they already have an accompanist and a director. He just gives them advice, but it gives him something to do with his extra time.”

“
I thought,” June laughed as she sat at the table watching her sister stirring a pot on the stove, “he was going to sit back and be a gentleman farmer.”

“
This isn’t a farm," Minnelsa said laughing too. “There was once a garden out back, but this was never really a farm. Can you imagine Peter in overalls? Anyway, Papa thought this was going to develop into some kind of colored township so he bought the property. He thought the professors at the college would like to live away from their students. But it didn’t happen. Papa didn’t know much about colleges like this.”

“
Who owns this place?” June asked.

“
Peter owns the land. Papa gave it to him when we were married. My dowry.” She continued to act pre-occupied with cooking so June said no more. It didn’t seem fair though, June thought.

“
Want some help?” She waddled over to the stove when she saw her sister just staring out the window and not watching what she was doing. Tears were coming down her cheeks and big drops were falling into the pot that she stirred and stirred without thinking.

June took the spoon from her and led Minnelsa by the hand from the stove and sat her in a chair. She looked back in the pot. She was sure it would simmer alone fine on a lower heat, but she removed it and covered it just the same. Tears were still falling from her sister’s eyes.

“
June, with the baby, being here, my home, my own home, I had never been so happy. Peter was happy too. Now. . .”

June held her sister’s trembling hands. Minnelsa was trying to hold back a flood but it wasn’t working. With every breath they seemed to fall steadily. After a few seconds June’s hands were wet as well and her eyes were beginning to cloud over.

“
I don’t understand it. Why does he want to go back? I mean it doesn’t matter to me if we never go back to Atlanta. We have a home here. Look how I’ve fixed it. It isn’t perfect but we’ve been in it not even six months. Every curtain, every drape, every bit of it I got to please him to make him happy. He’d come in from teaching, from talking to professors and just smile. We even had some professors over here once and they talked about how lucky he was to have such a wife and such a home. A home. His home. All I wanted was to stay here and have my baby.

“
June, I’m almost thirty-four. Maybe I’m too old to have a baby.”

“
No, no you’re not,” June said sweetly. “Where did you hear such a thing?”

Minnelsa sighed: “We hired a woman to come and clean once a week. She said I better have a baby soon before my time was up. I’ve been hearing that for years, wondering what papa thought was going to happen to me sitting at home getting older and older. No man wants to marry a dried up spinster who can’t give him babies. I thought I was doing the right thing.”

“
But when you came to see me. . . “

“
By the time we came to see you I understood him and he understood me. I know he wanted the property, the land here and in Atlanta. And I wanted to have both babies, yours and mine. It seemed that it didn’t bother him as long as he got what he wanted.

“
Then on the way back here he started to change his mind. Started wondering what would papa say, what would papa do if he found out. Would papa take the land back? Papa, always papa. I am so sick of hearing about papa and what he wants.” She cried out: “I just wanted my baby.”

June’s baby kicked and knocked her hand from her sisters. Minnelsa got up and moved as if she was repulsed by the movement of her little nephew or niece not yet born.

“
June, I never thought you would carry the baby to . . . I didn’t want anything bad to happen to you but I thought it would be so simple if June’s baby wasn’t born. If this had never happened. I said that to Peter one day and you know what he told me? He said if June wasn’t pregnant we’d be getting only one piece of land instead of two.” She sniffed and wiped her nose on her apron. “I told him exactly what I thought of him. That he had just married me to get the property. That he might as well hit me, or beat me, or throw me down some stairs because that was the only way this baby was getting out of me.