The Wilds (Reign and Ruin 1) (15 page)

"So tell me
your story," I asked him, trying to sound enthusiastic. He shot me
a quick glance but didn't slow down.

"Why would you
want to know about my story? One of my stories ended once I was put
up on that pole. A new story began when you took me down from it.
So there's not much to tell that you don't already know." He looked
back down at me. "We're only getting started."

"So then what
about that first story. Perhaps open with why your half-brother
left you to die in the middle of the desert?" I asked. I saw his
jaw twitch and knew I hit a nerve. His steps grew wider and I
cantered a bit to keep up. "Who were you?"

"I worked for
Cirrus."

"You worked for
Cirrus?" I repeated loudly. Somehow I just couldn't see this man in
government. For one, he wasn't wearing a shirt . . .

"I was his
apprentice when Cirrus worked for the Painter."

"Cirrus worked
for my uncle?" I asked even louder. Thinking back, I dimly
remembered Cirrus mentioning something about being his guardian . .
. keeping the nightmares at bay. I grabbed his arm and pulled him
short. "Wait, stop walking for a second. Explain. You mean, they
knew each other?"

"Well, of
course!" Lucan looked at me as if I were stupid. Great. Lucan had
suddenly realized his student hadn't done any of the summer
reading. "Your uncle was King and Creator. He had been around for
as long as this land has been. And this land has been around for
hundreds and hundreds of years. But so have the people who helped
and protected him. Cirrus was just one of the many." He scoffed and
shook his head. "He made you think he was special. That he was a
treasured confidante. What a hack."

I was silent.
Cirrus and my uncle might have been friends. Best friends or
partners. I imagined him, Cirrus and Marty all sat around his dank
apartment, shooting up and watching their fingers change shapes and
their dreams crawl out through their mouths. I couldn't make Cirrus
fit. His bright eyes were too calm, his body too graceful. But his
mind . . . well yes, conflicted.
Very.

"What did
Cirrus do for my uncle?"

Lucan sighed
and took my hand, pulling me along. His impatience was noticeable,
but his steps became shorter to allow me to catch up. And
eventually when we were in a rhythm, he released his grip.

"Cirrus was the
latest of your uncle's Dream Catchers," he answered finally.

My breath
hitched and without thinking my fingers went to the gold around my
neck. A dreamcatcher. I was sure Lucan noticed, but he said
nothing.

"Whatever goes
on inside someone's head always begins in the head," Lucan
continued. "And must stay in the head, or else it seeps into sleep
and affects the body in ways you couldn't imagine. It was Cirrus's
job to guard the Painter from those bad dreams. And my brother had
his work cut out for him with that poison your uncle put in his
blood." I could hear the disgust in his voice and held my tongue.
"I was his apprentice and meant to be the next in an honored line
of Dream Catchers to the Painter."

Shaking his
head, his eyes misted over in betrayal. "Honor my ass."

"Alright, now
why does Cirrus have such a grudge against you?"

Lucan suddenly
turned around with a growl of frustration. I squealed in surprise,
nearly knocking into his nose, and drew back quickly. He closed the
space again as his eyes caught mine, facing off. There was
suspicious glint in his eyes.

"Why all the
questions, sweetheart? Shouldn't the Daughter of Palet have done
her homework?"

I swallowed the
lump that had become mysteriously lodged in my throat.

"Well, excuse
me for accidently treading on your fragile pride –"

"If you knew me
better, you'd know pride isn't my worst quality."

He was suddenly
a bristling wolf again and I had to wonder what qualities he was
talking about.

"I'm sorry, but
I don't know you from Adam. All I have is your word that you're on
my side." I said finally. He nodded slowly and I felt my lips twist
up in a wry smile. "But how can I trust you?"

Lucan scoffed.
"You can trust me, Maggie."

"That's what
Marty said. And Tyler. And now look where I am. So if I have to ask
questions to put the pieces together, I will. Deal with it." I
placed my hands firmly on my hips and waited. It was a face-off,
all right.

Lucan cocked a
questioning eyebrow.

"You really
want to know why Cirrus hates me? You want to humiliate me that
badly?"

"Obviously,
humiliation is exactly what this exercise is about. Safety be
damned, let's make a grown man blush," I shot back, rolling my
eyes. I was trying to joke, but he quickly turned his face away
uncomfortably.

"One night
Cirrus was off to attend a Council dinner in Palet and I was to
take over for him for the night." He cleared his throat. "I let a
dream slip through."

"It snuck past
or something?" Lucan ran his fingers thorough his hair and sighed.
"Well, what?"

"I had a
visitor that evening. I might have been a bit . . .
preoccupied."

It took a few
seconds. I mean, I am no prude but it didn't come at once. Until it
did and I could not stop, so help me God, the grin from spreading
across my face. I hiccupped the first giggle but as the rouge
spread down his neck, I began to laugh.

"You were
having sex," I clarified. He looked surprisingly ashamed for a man
as confrontational as I'd seen thus far. "Oh come on, that's not so
bad."

"I let down my
family, let down my Creator. The dream that slipped through was the
beginning of the end."

"How is a big
guy like you even embarrassed?"

Lucan turned
around and grabbed me sharply by the wrist. It cut my laugh short
and the shock of his touch, the possessiveness and force of his
grip, took me completely by surprise. A growl rumbled in his throat
and before I could fully grasp the situation, his body had closed
the gap between us. My breath hitched as his chest pressed up hard
against mine and I could feel the shape of his cock firm against my
hips. And he knew it, because he smiled faintly through his
simmering anger.

"The sex was
incredible," he murmured. "Passionate.
Searing
." I heard a
small, childish sound of dismay slip from my throat. "Wet." He
licked his lips and allowed his eyes to flicker downwards, not to
my necklace this time but the skin bared underneath. "A big guy
like me is certainly not embarrassed." His hot breath hit my lips,
sending an ache of panic over my skin that rippled through my body
from the tips of my head to the tops of my thighs. Or at least I
think it was panic.

My mind fumbled
for the on-switch, but kind of gave up at some point. He smelled
like old wood, musk and sweat and it swept over the bare parts of
my skin in breathless waves of stinging tingles. I think at one
point my eyes closed of their own accord, falling through the
warmth pooling in my belly. It was a few moments before I realized
he had let me go. And far from lust or want, his face was twisted
up in smug disgust.

"But you should
be embarrassed, little girl. You are the next in line for the
throne. I am merely an animal. Act your station." He spat into the
sand and started to move off again slowly, because he knew I had to
follow.

Motherfucker.

My face burned
in humiliation. I watched his retreating back as the heat in my
stomach cooled down. I didn't know if I had been seduced or
shanghaied but it felt horrible. The smartass has turned the tables
and snatched away any power I thought I had gained, leaving me
hanging upside down from a tree branch by my bony ankle.

Now I really
did know what his worst quality was. But if I was being honest with
myself, I had to say it was also his best.

For the next
half hour I walked a fair distance behind Lucan, partly because I
was so angry but also because I was beginning to feel bad; bad for
not trusting him, bad for laughing at an insecurity I obviously
didn't understand. More than anything, I was sorry that I had asked
in the first place. And true to self-deprecating form, the apology
won over.

"Lucan," I
called, keeping a few steps back. "I'm sorry." I didn't hear an
answer but I was sure he heard me. "I said I was sorry. I didn't
mean to belittle your situation."

"You can
belittle anyone you want," he threw back behind him. "Thus is your
birthright and thus is ours to tolerate it."

I ran to catch
up with him. His face was back to playing poker and as the wind
picked up, it blew the soft waves of dark hair from his brow.

"No, it can't
be like that. We need to be equals."

"Not while that
symbol is around your neck," Lucan said quickly, but stopped when
he saw my hand extended towards him. I was not going to let our
relationship walk around undefined until he either killed me or
kissed me. There was the boundary; the line drawn in the sand.

"Unfair. Stop
it. Be my friend."

Lucan gave a
little snort of frustration and slapped my hand away. "Fine, but I
am not shaking your hand." He started to walk off again, but turned
to point a finger in my face. "And can I give you a little advice
for free? Stay away from my brother."

"I think that's
the entire point, Lucan."

"No, I mean
everything.
Stay away from him
." His mouth struggled to find
the words. "My brother has a way . . . and I can tell, just by
looking at you, that he's already made a mark. But I can also tell
that you don't fully understand what Cirrus is asking you. But you
should. You should have understood before you entered Palet."

"Well, then
stop acting cryptic and tell me."

"He's asking
you to give up your mind to him."

The words hung
in the air between us and the confusion of hearing them said out
loud – from the mouth of an almost stranger who was brave enough to
say them – made me want to run. Lucan saw me freeze, but refused to
fill the silence. He just stood there expectantly.

"How do you
know about that?" I finally breathed, walking quickly past him. Now
it was my turn to flee. He followed, his large legs not having to
work very hard to keep up.

"He could see
everything, Maggie. I know you have a problem with trust, so why
Cirrus? He's just about the worst fucking person to open yourself
up to."

"I don't know,"
I replied, feeling the confusion grow. I wanted to hit him really
hard in the jaw, just to make me stop thinking about it. "What
business is it of yours?"

"My thoughts
and inner dreams are mine and mine alone. Some I choose to give
away, but it's my choice. I don't answer to anyone, least of all a
partner, a lover, or a friend. Because once they see the good stuff
they need to see the utter shit, too. The dark corners of our mind,
the judgments we make on people –"

"You think I
want to share it all with him?" I asked.

"Then why would
you let him in?" Lucan countered loudly.

"I don't know!"
I yelled, whipping around and pushing him as hard as I could in the
chest. He didn't go over – he was much too strong to do that – but
he had the decency to move a few steps back. "Because I am going to
lose. Because he's so sad!" What a stupid reason. What a stupid,
damaged reason.

Lucan's
expression remained hard. "My brother has been sad for a long time.
He's only been watching you for a little less. You lose this game,
you lose everything."

"So, if you
know all this you must know I don't have a choice," I spat.

"You always
have a choice," he answered. Grim. He seemed to sense my train of
thought and grinned suddenly. "Still want to be my friend?"

I looked at him
through seething eyes.

"No."

And Lucan
laughed and kept walking through the sand. And I, of course,
followed.

Chapter
14

The sun was leaking red and orange down the sky
when the dreams stopped. We didn't notice for a bit, both of us
lost in our own thoughts and demons, but soon the emptiness of the
large, open space shoved us both back into awareness. The wind had
started to swirl the sand around our feet and the sweat on my neck
had long cooled and dried.

"Night is
falling," Lucan said simply.

"Good, I am
really tired of walking," I mumbled, hoisting the backpack higher
on my tired shoulders.

"We should have
found someone by now" He glanced quickly around and sighed. "It
usually doesn't take more than a few hours to encounter a dream
willing to make interaction."

"Well, it's
better to find nothing than to find something horrible." I said,
throwing my hook far into the bright side. Lucan grimaced and I
caught him shake away a shiver. I suddenly felt sorry for my guide.
If night was really on the way it was going to get cold. And Lucan
didn't have much more than 9999999some torn pants.

And the air did
get pretty chilly. Our breath rose in small puffs of white mist and
as our vision became fuzzy with the oncoming night, it was soon
hard not to stumble on the sudden uprisings and falls of the
desert. Looking up, I couldn't see any stars, just a dark sky
tucked in under a blanket of clouds.

Lucan and I
walked without conversation and in the still of the night noises
popped up in the distance; calls of dreams from far away, living
out their lives in the little worlds constructed for them. Some
landed closer, the nightlife of their cosmos differing from a
hushed flurry of whispers to the trumpet blare of an approaching
parade. One dream landed just beyond the rise of the next dune, the
lovely starting of a slow string quartet. But none of them stayed
long enough to let themselves be greeted. After just a few moments
the dreams flew off, popping off somewhere else beyond the vision
and hearing of Lucan or me.