The Widower's Wife (20 page)

“I hope you know your family and friends are always welcome in our home,” Dalton replied sincerely.

Jillian felt a stirring within her when he said “our home.” It really did feel like she belonged, especially now that she and Jenny had forged a bond. She still worried, however, that he regretted his decision to marry her, especially during those few weeks he had stayed away so much. Forcing the thought from her mind, she tentatively reached over and squeezed Dalton’s arm briefly.

“Well, thank you again. You’ve made me really happy.”

Then, slightly embarrassed, Jillian hurriedly moved her hand and turned back to stare in front of her and watch the wildflowers along the sides of the road as the wagon went by. She wasn’t going to start digging up her many reasons to doubt herself now. She did not want anything ruining this day. They didn’t speak more than a few words more to each other the rest of the trip, but the atmosphere between them felt warm and comfortable.

At last, they arrived at the station. Jillian could hardly wait for Dalton to come around and help her down. She thought of little Lisa and the many times she had laughed at the girl for almost tumbling out of the wagon because she couldn’t wait for someone to help her out. She smiled at Dalton as he helped her down and tingled at the touch of his hand.

Dalton offered his arm, and she took it gladly. Jillian glanced around the train platform and felt the flood of memories rush back, but she threw up a wall in her mind quickly. She was making better memories here today. She concentrated on the imminent arrival of the train.

Dalton offered Jillian his arm when he noticed that she looked a little unsure of herself. He realized she must be thinking of her last visit to the Darlington train station. She eagerly accepted his arm before stepping through the doors.

For a moment, he saw an anguished look overpower her features, but she replaced it quickly. He was pleased she was having visitors. He often worried about how hard it was for her to make such a break from her family, coming out here, so far away from them, to marry him. He witnessed how happy knowing they were coming made her, and he felt guilty. This past week it seemed as if a light had come into her eyes that he hadn’t seen there before.

Not that Dalton thought she was necessarily unhappy living with them. The children seemed to bring her joy at least. Still, he knew that he was likely partially responsible for any sadness she might be feeling. He had broken their agreement—he’d kissed her twice—three times actually, if you counted the one for Sarah Bingham’s sake. Even though he felt ashamed, the only way he had kept from kissing her again was by avoiding her. That was except for this last week, of course. She had come to life, and the sight of her dancing around the house and the sound of her laughter filling his home had made it almost unbearable, but he’d stayed close. He was finding it increasingly difficult to rein in his feelings, but he felt he must, at least for now, although there was always the potential for change.

When Uncle Ned had taken Jillian to town to send a telegram to her brother the previous week, Aunt Betty had sent the children out to play and set him down for a talk. She had strong words for him that day, and he knew she was right.

“Dalton, my boy, you know I never cared for puttin’ my nose where it don’t belong, but I’m needin’ to speak my piece to you.” She reached across the table and grabbed his hand in both of hers. “I know you been hurtin’ . . . have been for a long time. I miss her too.” She took her hand from his and quickly brushed a tear away. Grasping Dalton’s hand again, she continued. “You have made some progress towards healin’ these last weeks. I’ve watched you closely and it has done my heart good to see it.” She looked at him sympathetically. “But boy, I know you have feelings for our Jillian and you’re fightin’ those feelings with all you got. Whether it’s out of guilt, thinking you’ll betray Laurellyn’s memory, or because of some foolish—and I mean
foolish
—commitment you made to her that you would be married in name only. Boy, you’ve got to stop this foolishness. You’re hurtin’ that girl, deep down. I can see it every time I look into those beautiful green eyes of hers. She has feelings for you too, deep ones.” Dalton widened his eyes and arched his eyebrow as he looked at her. “Oh, don’t look at me all surprised. You know I’m right. Only a blind man wouldn’t notice the way she looks at you.” She shook her head. “I’m shocked by the way you been treatin’ her—hidin’ out all day either in the fields or the barn, while you leave her to tendin’ your children all alone. And your poor children, missin’ you so much.” Aunt Betty shook her head at him again. “You know better than that. You’re a good and sensitive man, Dalton McCullough. You got a lot to offer that woman. She and your children need you!” Dalton looked doubtful, but she patted his hand and said sternly, “You got to quit being so self-centered and start thinkin’ of the ones around you.”

Aunt Betty stood up and walked over to the window to check on the children. Dalton finally stood and walked up beside her, draping his arm around her shoulder. The children were sitting just outside the barn door, and all three had a kitten in their laps. Lisa was hovering over Brenn, watching him closely to make sure he didn’t hurt the one he was playing with. Without saying anything, Dalton hugged Aunt Betty and walked out the door. He had a lot of thinking to do.

Ten minutes later, he found himself standing at the foot of Laurellyn’s grave. It had been over a month since he’d been there. He laid the flowers he had gathered on the way at her headstone. “Laurellyn Elizabeth McCullough, Cherished Daughter, Loving Wife and Mother,” the tombstone read. At the bottom was the word “Forever.” Dalton looked at the words he had carved there so long ago. He knelt down and traced the letters with his finger.

“Laurellyn,” he spoke softly. “I’ve missed you.” A tear trailed down his face. “I’ve kept my promise. The children have a new mother, and I have a new wife.” He sat back on his heels. “You would like her. She‘s different from you in many ways and a lot like you in others, but she loves the children like they were her own. Even Jenny, as stubborn as she is, has finally seen her goodness and has accepted her.” Dalton brushed another tear away.

“Laurellyn,” his voice broke with emotion. “I don’t know what to do. I want to keep my second promise to you, but I don’t want to betray your memory. I’m afraid I’m falling in love with her, but can I love you both? I don’t know if my heart has room for both of you.”

Softly, a breeze whispered past him, bringing the sweet scent of lavender and roses. Dalton breathed in deeply and closed his eyes, relishing the aroma and the multitude of memories it brought with it. Laurellyn felt so near, and yet the pain was no longer tugging at him. He felt in his heart that she was assuring him that he was free to love again. A peace and acceptance settled within him. He would always have Laurellyn in his heart, he knew that. But maybe, just maybe, his heart had grown to make room for Jillian as well.

But did she want that? Jillian had been hurt deeply somehow, and he didn’t know how to help her heal enough to make a place for him. Yet, remembering their shared kisses, hope began to grow. He would be patient.

Aunt Betty was right about the way he had been treating her and the children. He had only been thinking of himself lately. He resolved to be more mindful of the ones he loved. As he prepared to leave, he kissed the tips of his fingers and pressed them against the hard stone.

“Thank you, Laurellyn, for loving us, for listening . . . and inspiring,” he whispered. Then he stood and headed back toward the house to his children.

Dalton looked down at Jillian now as he held her arm, waiting for the train to arrive. Her eyes were once again alight with excitement. He noticed how quickly she was past her bad memories of the place. She was a strong woman and beautiful beyond description.

“Would you like to find a place to sit down and wait?” Dalton asked politely. “The train won’t be in for another twenty minutes.”

“Oh, Dalton, I don’t know if I could sit still that long.” He grinned. She was fidgeting around so much just standing there! Her excitement was obvious. “I suppose we should probably find a seat,” she finally said. They found a bench nearby and sat next to each other. The same bench, as it happened, where she had lain not so long ago. Jillian smiled. “This seems a little familiar,” she joked. Dalton smiled at her again and they settled in to wait for the coming train.

Marcus was getting a little nervous as the train neared their destination. The trip had been a good one for him. He’d always enjoyed Bethany’s company, especially since she was so easy to tease. They had discussed all sorts of topics on their trip, and he was surprised to find they had so much in common. She was usually so quiet around him. He hadn’t even known that she played the pianoforte. He looked forward to having her play for him sometime. Music was a great love of his.

Bethany had dozed off from time to time, and during those moments Marcus had allowed his mind to wander to Jillian. He worried about her living out in the rough frontier. He also worried about the character of the man she had married. Marcus feared that this Dalton McCullough couldn’t be much of a man, ordering a wife the way he had. His mother had assured him, though, that whenever Jillian spoke of him, it was always with the highest regard. That had eased his worries, if only a little. He had gathered little from her few letters to him.

He glanced over at Bethany a moment while she slept in the seat across from him. Her face was so peaceful and relaxed—so different from the way Jillian’s face had been in the carriage on the way home from Boston those many months ago. He felt a pain as he remembered the tortured and helpless expression she had worn then. Her tender heart had been shattered. When she had told him what she had witnessed, he’d been furious at Nathan and his debauchery. At first he’d insisted that they go back immediately. He could think of nothing but making Nathan pay for his betrayal. But Jillian had begged him to take her home first, and when her protests began to turn panicked, he feared for her state. She was right. She needed to get away from Nathan and what had happened. He’d decided he would make his return as soon as he saw her home safely, and he had.

A sound of disgust slipped from his lips when he remembered finally discovering Nathan in the tavern across from his hotel, drinking whiskey and playing cards. Without even giving him time to stand up, Marcus had thrown the table out of the way, causing cards and drinks to fly everywhere. Nathan just sat there, looking up at him with a stunned expression on his face. With all the anger that had been building up in him, Marcus struck Nathan with a powerful blow directly to his face. The chair he was sitting in had flown partway across the floor with Nathan’s hands still tightly gripping the arms of it. It finally landed on its back, with Nathan in it, and continued to slide further across the room, upsetting another table of drinkers.

Marcus rubbed his hand as he thought of the blow he had rendered the scoundrel. He had broken two of his knuckles, but it had been worth it. After he told a bleeding Nathan that his sister had seen him the night before, his final words before exiting the tavern had been, “If you ever come near my sister again, you won’t live long enough to regret it.”

The train slowed as it prepared to make its stop. Before he woke Bethany, Marcus said a quick prayer that he would find Jillian safe and happy, and, most important, loved.

Jillian fairly flew into Marcus’s arms. He spun her around before setting her down again. She couldn’t help the tears of joy that began to flow.

“What’s this, Little Sis?” Marcus lifted a tear from her cheek and held it out for her to see. “Are you so sad to see me again that I make you want to cry?” Jillian smacked him on the shoulder playfully.

“You big oaf, I’ve missed you so much!” She hugged him again and then saw Bethany standing behind him. “Beth, I can’t believe you’re here too!” Her tears began to flow more freely as she gave Bethany a heartfelt embrace.

“Me too, Jilly,” said Bethany, as she also started to cry.

Marcus put his hand out to the man watching them from behind Jillian. “You must be Dalton.” Jillian watched as Marcus sized him up quickly. As she glanced over at Dalton, she noticed that he was doing much the same thing.

“And you must be Marcus. We’ve heard nothing else but talk of the both of you for the last week. I’m glad you both made it here safely. Welcome to Wisconsin.”

Jillian noticed that Bethany was now looking at Dalton. When she looked back at Jillian, she purposely gave her a dreamy look. Jillian stifled a giggle.

“Well,” Dalton spoke again. “I suppose we should get going. We thought that after getting a bite to eat, we probably ought to get on the road so you can get settled in before it gets too late. It’s still a two hour drive home.” Dalton reached over and picked up Bethany’s trunk, which had just been loaded onto the platform next to her.

“I think you’re right,” Marcus answered him. “If we don’t get these two sobbing women out of here soon, they’re liable to flood the station.” The men both laughed. Marcus grabbed his bag and Bethany’s valise, and everyone followed Dalton to the waiting wagon.

Dalton had borrowed a two-seated wagon for the trip from the Flannigans, their neighbors to the south. Jillian was impressed by his foresight and thoughtfulness. Remembering the soreness she experienced after her first wagon ride, Jillian had gathered some extra quilts and put them in the back. If she spread a couple out on the seat underneath Bethany, maybe she could prevent some of the soreness she had experienced.

They enjoyed a light meal at the café where she and Dalton had eaten when she first arrived, and soon they were on their way home. Marcus sat up front with Dalton. They discussed a variety of topics such as farming and the Indians that still inhabited the area. Jillian sat on the back bench with Bethany, who was telling her all about her schooling. Jillian was finding it difficult to pay attention to her friend while trying to listen to Dalton and Marcus’s conversation at the same time. She was grateful to Marcus for acting civilly and for not asking any threatening questions about her welfare. She was especially relieved when they drove down the lane to Uncle Ned and Aunt Betty’s, signaling the near-end of their journey. Lisa came running out of the house, followed by Jenny, who walked a little slower and more timidly.

“Pa! Ma! You’re home!” Lisa ran to the side of the wagon near Jillian and began hopping frantically up and down. Dalton hurried around and helped Jillian to the ground in hopes of settling Lisa down quickly. She hugged her father and rushed immediately to Jillian.

“I’m so glad you’re home. I’ve been waitin’ and waitin’ ’cause Auntie Bet says I have to ask you first. She says you have to say if it’s okay. Please Ma, can we? I promise to be really good all the time. I won’t tease the pigs or chase the chickens, only when you tell me to, promise. I’ll even eat all my veggietables when you say they’re good for me. I won’t even sneak Digger in my bed when everyone’s sleepin’ and I won’t sneak him any more chicken legs to feed him.”