The Wide Receiver's Baby (4 page)

Chapter - Twelve

Alexa

“Penny for your thoughts.” His brown eyes shone, and part of me was feeling selfish and hoping that voice was Logan’s but I knew it was Todd’s.

The crazy part was, in the midst of it all the way I was feeling right now I could have lashed out at him, but I found myself saying something completely different as I got out of the taxi.

“You wanna go for a walk?”

He bent his elbow for me to put my hand through it and said, “I thought you’d never ask,” with a wink and a smile.

Todd and I used to be friends. Whenever Logan was acting like a jock he was the one guy that I could speak to about it. When my Dad was thrown in jail, he’d been the guy that I would call if I couldn't get hold of Logan. We’d been friends, up until a few weeks ago. After all he only lived a couple of houses from mine. The words Marie spoke at dinner came to mind: ‘Everyone makes mistakes’. My mistake was not to listen to his side of the story, and Todd's was to cheat on my best friend.

Todd broke the silence. “You know, my best friend is going to get stupid drunk now cause you’re mad.”

I nodded my head.

That was Logan’s typical behavior whenever we had a fight. He would do something stupid and then the next day beg me to forgive him and suffer like a fool with the biggest hangover.

“Yep, that’s my man for you.”

We continued walking and on Logan’s street, you could walk for at least ten minutes before you passed the next house. They were so big. Some of them had lights on, whereas the rest were off, which probably meant that no one was at home.

“How’s it going with your parents?”

Todd stopped in his tracks, probably shocked by my question. He was a little shorter then Logan, so it was easier to walk arm-in-arm with him and talk to him. Whereas  with Logan, sometimes I felt as if I was stretching my neck just to see what was going on with his eyes.

“I spent so long being upset, frightened, angry about them getting a divorce. Especially being their only son, there was so much pressure on me.”

He hesitated; this was completely different to how he’d been feeling a few weeks ago.

“ I realize that I was the reason that they stayed together. Now, they’re completely two different people and I wish… Now this is gonna sound really stupid... I wish that they’d done it a long time ago.”

We stopped walking and I looked at him. I could see the sincerity in his eyes.

“Some people weren’t meant to stay together, which is why I’m alone right now.”

Wow, that was two confessions that I hadn’t been expecting and he could see the shock as my heart missed a beat. My eyes opened and closed rapidly, trying to figure out if all this was real. Todd’s muscular arms wrapped around me as he held me so tight.

“I want us to be friends. I love you like a sister. You know that, right?” He kissed me on the forehead and I nodded.

“I don't want to be with Scarlett, nor anyone at the moment. Just me, myself and I.”

It felt as if he had grown up so much in a short space of time and, as I told him about my problem, the one that was burning inside of me, he said exactly what I thought he would: “Logan’s right. This could be what your dad needed.”

The words I didn’t want to hear, the voice of reason... and I felt like such a bitch for not having this conversation with Logan.

I smiled as I held Todd’s hand. “Let’s get back to the party. I’ve got some making up to do.”

He started running and said, “You better do it, before your man gets totally drunk.” I wasn't as fit as him, but I tried to keep up. When it was clear that I couldn’t,  he bent down and said, “Get on my back!”

I didn’t hesitate as I hopped on to his back, the same way I had as a kid whenever I fell off my bike and didn’t have the nerve to get back on to it. I’d missed Todd and until now, I never realized how much.

“Ride on, horsy!”

He tutted as he said, “Some things never change.”

I was still a kid at heart, even though I was going to college. I supposed that meant I should behave differently or feel it too, which was part of the reason I had to not only tell Logan that I was sorry, but show him too.

Chapter - Thirteen

Logan

She came up to me and grabbed me at the party. I thought that she would think that I would be getting drunk and pretending to have fun.

I’d run back outside earlier, feeling like such a prick, but then I’d seen her walking with Todd, arm-in-arm. With his parents going through the longest, most dragged out divorce ever that maybe, just maybe, he could relate to her, where I had failed to. He could tell her what it was like, and the fact that his parents were better off apart then they were together. But that didn’t excuse my behavior. As she held my hand and dragged me upstairs, I called to her, “I’m sorry babes. Sorry.”

She ignored me as she carried on like a woman on a mission.

“Log, have fun!” Todd shouted out. I looked down the stairs and there he was, winking and giving me the thumbs up. The problem was so was half the party, they were all doing the same thing. Some were making rude gestures. The same thing I would do on any other day. I didn’t feel like the whole party knowing that she thought I didn't care enough to be sensitive to her feelings.

I had treated and spoken to her lately like she was nothing. Like she was just some girl that I had started seeing. She was more then that and, in that split second, I realized I had let arrogance cast its nasty spell on me, like a plague. Alexa had to know she was my life and that I would do anything for her.

As she shut the door, I knew what she thought she had to do. She probably believed it was the answer to our problem. I needed Alexa in my arms. Not having any kind of sex, just so we could put the shit that I said earlier behind us. I didn't want make-up sex, besides it never really worked unless we had completely made up.

“Alexa, I want us to talk. Let’s…”

Before I could even finish my sentence. She held a finger up to my lips and said, “I’m done talking. I want some action.”

Chapter Fourteen

Alexa

I lowered his zipper, then pulled down his jeans around his thighs. I breathed in and let it out. I curled my fingers under the pale gray elastic waistband of his boxers, hesitating for a minute, wondering if this was the right thing to do.

I had gone from being all emotional to seducing him, in the same night. We never did this. It was one thing to fight, but we’d had the make-up sex  a couple of times and neither of us felt better after it. There were still things going through our minds, but this time it was different.

We didn’t have a fight.

Or a disagreement.

I’d made out that I was right, and he was wrong. After talking to Todd I’d realized that maybe, just maybe, Logan could be right. Either way, he would be there for me. Not only emotionally, but financially too. He would rescue me like a knight in shining armor, because he loved me and I…for the first time ever, had questioned that love and wondered if it was ever real.

I was on my hands and knees, showing that I was completely his and at his mercy. I tugged the elastic away from his body and pulled his underwear slowly down while looking up into his eyes.

He stroked my face, whispering, “You don’t need to do this.”

His cock was long and standing straight up, the tip rising past his navel. It was so damn thick and hard. For a split second, I wondered if it was painful too. His balls were tight against him.

I wrapped one hand around him and he was so thick my thumb and middle finger couldn’t meet around his girth. I slid my fist down his length and back up . My hand was barely brushing his flesh.

“That feels good,” he moaned as he relaxed against the door, letting me take control.

I was putting too much pressure on myself. I had given him a BJ a few times, but this time was different. I wanted to get it right. I wanted him to relieve himself and know that I was his. All of me.

I gently squeezed his balls, a caressing pressure, while I slid my middle finger onto his taint and applied pressure. Then, I began to stroke his length so slowly, and leaned in closer.

I took a short breath.

Closer.

I opened my mouth wider, taking a longer breath.

Closer.

I opened my mouth so damn wide that I thought it was going to split. I curled my lips over my teeth and took his broad head into my mouth. I closed my lips around him, just beneath the groove at the base of his tip. He made a sound that was nearly a moan as I lowered my mouth around him, still stroking slowly at the root of his cock.

I fisted his length, replacing my lips around his thick, soft, springy head, tasting pre-cum on my tongue. I licked it, twisted and plunged my fist around him, squeezing his sac in time with my sliding fist.

Logan’s thighs trembled and his knees dipped. He threaded both hands into my hair, gripping handfuls and tugging firmly. I only wanted to feel him come, that was my motivation in starting this, to make him come inside of my mouth.

I started again, taking him deep, letting his tip nudge the back of my throat and then backing away, pumping at his root with ever-increasing speed. The increase of tempo around his cock made his knees bend and dip. His fits in my hair tightened involuntary as he neared his climax.

I sucked him harder, feeling his sac tense and feeling his thick cock throb and I knew he was close. I prepared myself for the gush of his release against my throat which came within a few short seconds.

He released my hair, and his knees were so weak as they were no longer against me. I dropped my hands on the floor and whispered before I swallowed his salty come. Logan pulled up his pants and took my hand as he turned the light on.

“Come let’s lie down. We’re both exhausted.”

I reached up and took his, I wasn’t physically exhausted, just mentally from my Mom, to our fight, to reconnecting with Todd all in one night.

As I laid down on his red and black sheets, I thought about this room. The one that he had purposely decorated in dark colors just to get his parents’ attention. It had worked for about two minutes. I remembered the day that they had come to see what he had done with the decorators. His Dad congratulated him on his initiative, and his Mom pretended it was the best thing that she had ever seen. ‘Pretended’, because she confessed a couple of years later that one of the things her son did when he was a kid that she hated the most, was paint his bedroom black.

That made Logan even more determined to never change the color of his room. He knew that his Mom hated it and would never admit it to him. Even when she did, it made him feel as if he had scored a point. “Just put the sidelight on,” I whispered as I kicked off my shoes.

As he held me tight in his black room, the only bits of colors were his trophies that stood on the side shelf, or his pictures of all the games that he had competed in and won. There were some photos of us as a couple, when I went on holiday with his family last year and a few of us in High School. They all felt like distant memories that were pieces of our lives, but would soon be forgotten.

He lifted himself up, “Wait. Not sure if I locked the door.” He jumped up and checked it and after he did, he came back on to the bed. This time the room was dark. He turned the light off completely and said, “I don’t want to go back downstairs. I just want to stay here with you.”

He wrapped his arms around me and said, “Remember when you first confessed that you had a thing for me?”

I nodded trying to wash away the embarrassment. “Yep, I remember. I was only fourteen and Todd told you that I had a thing for you.”

He sighed almost as if he was reliving the day. “God, I was so nervous.”

I lifted my head up, wishing that I could see his eyes and see if he was sincere.“Really?”

He replied immediately, “Really,” while putting my head back on his chest. I could hear his heart beating so fast. I wondered if he was going back in time. “Why else would I ask Todd if we could meet at the ice-rink?”

That had been our first official date. Marie and my Mom were both with us at the ice-rink and us two had been as nervous as anything, not knowing what to say or do. I’d spent most of the time cussing Todd in my head or talking to Logan whilst looking down at the ice-rink and avoiding all eye contact.

I lifted my hand to my head, “That feels like a lifetime ago.”

“Nah, sometimes you’re too dramatic. It wasn't that long ago. All I know is I remember how I felt back then.”

I dug my head into his chest, “I remember I was scared and hated Todd.”

He kissed my forehead again, “You shouldn’t hate someone who’s made mistakes. No one is perfect.”

I reflected on what he’d said. The voice of reason. “True, no one is perfect, but then again…”

“Nothing, Alexa. He did what he thought was right. The same way you’re staying here to be near your family. Maybe it's the right decision. Maybe it’s not.” He cleared his throat as he continued to speak, his fingers brushing delicately on my arm.  “Todd just knows one thing - he doesn’t love Scarlett. Right now, he just wants to be alone. Shit, the Meghan thing didn't last, but I know my best friend. He's a guy who gets confused and runs away with his emotions.”

We continued talking about last night, about the future, the past, and what could happen to us. It was the first time that we’d talked about maybe going our separate ways. That our relationship may be put to the test and we could fail at being long distance lovers.

“I want you in my life, not just in the past, but the future too. Let’s work at it. Make sure that none of this goes away,” I pleaded with Logan. I had to confess that I feared that his being in college, the cheerleaders, playing ball, would deter him from me. I had nothing to offer, and found it hard to compete with his future.

“Don’t be silly. You’ve got the one thing that none of them can compete with.”

I held my breath, thinking like crazy what he meant.

He laughed, “Your heart. Sometimes, I think you’re just too hard on yourself.”

I squeezed him tight, “If you ever do anything you know I’ll kick your ass!”

He agreed that he would let me kick his ass, but I had nothing to worry about because not only did he have my heart, but I had his too.

As I held him tight, we talked through the night until we both fell asleep, and we no longer heard any knocks on the door or cared about the music getting louder. The only thing we wanted was each other. I knew that as much as we wanted to stay together, at times life has a nasty way of rearing  its ugly head. I knew from the stories of Mom and Dad getting together that their aims were to stay together, but two kids later it was a completely different story. The same thing could happen to us. As much as we held onto each other and loved each other now, it could turn to hate as soon as he walked out of that door and headed to another life in college.

I knew that.

He knew that.

But we just had to believe that it wouldn’t happen. That was the only thing we could do. Otherwise the reality of the alternative was too painful to bear.

Chapter Fifteen

Logan

My parents spent about two weeks complaining about the mess. Then we had to dealt with the noise complaints, which the police came to investigate,  and the neighbors were paying us visits for the next few days. I heard people that I never even knew lived on our street tell us that they never slept that night. Even though Olivia made a point of telling them all that we were having a party beforehand, they still complained.

As they say, time moves quickly when you’re having fun, in my case it was more like time just drove past so quickly. I didn’t even realize it was coming, until it came.

She squeezed me so tightly, but it didn’t hurt a bit.

“I can’t believe it’s time for you to go,” she was choking. Her voice was hoarse.

“I’m not dying,” I had to make light of the situation. Make out that I wasn’t hurting as much as she was. That was what men did. What they were supposed to do. The same thing when Grandpa died, Dad didn't shed a tear. He laid the same speech to me when I was five, when I was eight when Grandma died, and he was saying the same thing to me now, with a wink of an eye.

I looked at him and he said to Mom and Olivia, “Okay let's give them a little space, but we need to leave soon. You’re flight is leaving..”

“Dad, I know when our flight’s leaving.”

They started moving away, one by one, including Olivia. We said our goodbyes and it had been  my idea to get the rental company to drive my stuff to Yale while I took a flight there. I hate goodbyes and I thought the best thing was to say goodbye to everyone here. Apart from Dad, who’d insisted in coming over with me. Mom, on the other hand, respected my wishes.

I wanted to take Alexa with me. Let her stay in the dorm room and hold my hand as I went to classes. The whole idea that I wouldn’t see her face every single day started to tear me apart. The distance. The closure. It all suddenly became real.

I started to panic, “Four weeks right? You’re coming to Yale in four weeks?”

I pulled her away from me; I had to see those green eyes. But as I did, I saw that they were filled with tears, and I wiped them away saying, “Four weeks.”

She nodded and then hugged me again. I wasn’t sure how long we stood like that. I just kept stroking her hair, trying to convince her that it was going to be okay. But the more I said it I realized that I wasn’t really trying to convince her. I was really talking to myself.