The Well-Spoken Woman (23 page)

The Close: Revisit Important Stuff

What do you want the buzz in the room to be once you've finished speaking? End with that. The conclusion is not the time to throw in something new. It is the time to summarize the main points and revisit the theme. All good endings convey a sense of wholeness and finality. The speaker who seems to
end one speech only to begin another leaves the audience frustrated and distracted. However, the worst conclusion is no conclusion at all. A young writer for
Salon
was speaking passionately on the impact of sexism in the 2008 presidential campaign when she ran out of gas at a book signing. After reading an emotional passage, she looked up at the audience, and her facial expression said it all: “Well, I guess that's about it. [Pause] Thank you very much. [Awkward pause.] Are there any questions?” The lack of closure is unsatisfying because everyone feels the deficiency. Always preplan the conclusion since it is your last chance to drive home the theme.

 

• End on time:
  Respect other people's time and busy schedules. If you are given five minutes for the panel discussion, then stick to it out of courtesy. A toast should run thirty to ninety seconds. A summary of a work project should be done in two to three minutes. The adult attention span is less than twenty minutes, so it is always better to come in under that limit.
  
• Give a heads-up:
  Tell your audience you are about to wrap up by using one of those cliche lines like “Let me wrap this up with a story” or “I will conclude my remarks by reminding you of something I said earlier.” Give them fair warning, and they will focus on you.
  
• Summarize the main points:
  Now that you have your audience's attention, maximize the final moment by reviewing what you want them to remember. Avoid surprise endings that don't relate to the theme. Digressions confuse and frustrate listeners who are waiting for closure.
  
• Be believable:
  Speakers who scrimp on the conclusion are at a greater risk of leaving the audience hanging. Don't allow the conclusion to feel like an afterthought by running out of content. Use the bang-up techniques below to finish in a strong and convincing manner.
  

Bang-Up Closers

• Make a pledge:
  There was a moment of absolute silence when Mary Fisher finished her “A Whisper of AIDS” speech, and then the stadium exploded. The speech shook the assembled crowd at the Republican National Convention and shattered America's sense of complacency about the spread of HIV/AIDS. A divorced, white heterosexual mom delivered a passionate appeal that presented another face of the disease and lifted the shroud of silence surrounding those who were afflicted.
  

To the millions of you who are grieving, who are frightened, who have suffered the ravages of AIDS firsthand: Have courage and you will find comfort.

To the millions who are strong, I issue this plea: Set aside prejudice and politics to make room for compassion and sound policy.

To my children, I make this pledge: I will not give in, Zachary, because I draw my courage from you. Your silly giggle gives me hope. Your gentle prayers give me strength. And you, my child, give me reason to say to America, “You are at risk.” And I will not rest, Max, until I have done all I can to make your world safe. I will seek a place where intimacy is not the prelude to suffering.

I will not hurry to leave you, my children. But when I go, I pray that you will not suffer shame on my account. To all within the sound of my voice, I appeal: Learn with me the lessons of history and of grace, so my children will not be afraid to say the word AIDS when I am gone. Then their children, and yours, may not need to whisper it at all.
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• Pose a rhetorical question:
  Suffragist Carrie Chapman Catt was a newspaper reporter from Iowa who reportedly signed a prenuptial agreement with her second husband securing that she would have the time necessary to advocate for the right to vote. Her husband wholeheartedly supported her efforts, saying he would earn a living so she could work for reform. In the winter of 1917, Catt called upon Congress to extend voting rights to women on the national level.
  

Gentlemen, we hereby petition you, our only designated representatives, to redress our grievances by the immediate passage of the Federal Suffrage Amendment and to use your influence to secure its ratification in your own state, in order that the women of our nation may be endowed with political freedom before the next presidential election, and that our nation may resume its world leadership in democracy.

Woman suffrage is coming—you know it. Will you, Honorable Senators and Members of the House of Representatives, help or hinder it?
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• Get personal:
  Author J. K. Rowling, creator of the wildly popular Harry Potter series, shared a personal story and a quote to conclude her commencement address at Harvard University in June 2008.
  

I am nearly finished. I have one last hope for you, which is something that I already had at 21. The friends with whom I sat on graduation day have been my friends for life. They are my children's godparents, the people to whom I've been able to turn in times of trouble, people who have been kind enough not to sue me when I took their names for Death Eaters. At our graduation we were bound by enormous affection, by our shared experience of a time that could never come again, and, of course, by the knowledge that we held certain photographic evidence that would be exceptionally valuable if any of us ran for Prime Minister.

So today, I wish you nothing better than similar friendships. And tomorrow, I hope that even if you remember not a single word of mine, you remember those of Seneca, another of those old Romans I met when I fled down the classics corridor, in retreat from career ladders, in search of ancient wisdom: “As is a tale, so is life; not how long it is, but how good it is, is what matters.”

I wish you all very good lives.
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• Issue a call to action:
  In September 2010, actress Meryl Streep addressed “an idea that has yet to become real: a National Women's History Museum that we can all see and touch and feel.” At a gala fund-raiser, she spoke about the importance of symbols and why it is necessary to create a building that will house the richness of women's history in America. Streep rallied the crowd with the surprise announcement that she would kick off the fund-raising drive with a pledge of $1 million. She concluded her remarks with a succinct summary of what everyone in the room needed to do.
  

We need two things tonight: permission from Congress and cash from you.

We will get permission because I cannot imagine that those two Senators who have put “a hold” on our museum have a stomach for war with American women.

And we will get the money to build this tribute. I have no doubt of that. I even have a plan! If each of the 500 of us here tonight can get 50 people (that's less than your Christmas card list), 50 women to put away one $20 bill a week—that's less than $3 a day—that's coffee money. If we make that pledge, in ten years we'll have over $250 million. More than a quarter of a billion dollars!
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STANDING OVATION POINT:
YOUR WORDS MAKE THE MUSIC

Every four years for the past twenty, I've helped the Democratic Party present its message to the American people by prepping the prime-time speakers who appear at the Democratic National Conventions. It's a big operation headed up by Michael Sheehan, who is known as the speech coach to Democratic presidents. With two teams working simultaneously out of rehearsal rooms set up offstage, we ensure that every speaker does a run-through before facing millions of TV viewers. We are assisted by a large production crew and dozens of speechwriters who churn out reams of teleprompter copy, all in the effort to help dignitaries, celebrities, top party officials, and real people present a unified party message.

This practice routine might sound glamorous, but the hours are long, the work is grueling, and the conditions resemble those of a sweatshop. Typically, the famous and not-so-famous flow in and out of the converted locker rooms of whatever sports stadium we are in. There is nothing pleasant about the lingering odor of sweaty socks.

In 2004, Maya Angelou brought a touch of class to the Fleet Center in Boston with her tribute to civil rights activist Fannie Lou Hamer. The night Angelou was scheduled to speak, she arrived for rehearsal in a dazzling black lace evening gown. I was awed by her regal presence, commanding voice, and eloquent prose. As she neared the end of the tribute, Angelou had the entire crowd swaying on their feet as they joined in a song
for Fannie Lou. Angelou led the way with an anthem of the civil rights movement, “This Little Light of Mine.”

Preacher, singer, blues singer, jazz singer, rap person, it is so catching, so hypnotic, so wonderful that, as a poet, I continue to try to catch it, to catch the music. If I can catch the music and have the content as well, then I have the ear of the public.
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Angelou has broken down barriers with the power of her words. She courageously allows herself to be influenced by her wide-ranging interests and life experiences. Take a risk by moving beyond bullet points and slide presentations. Seek inspiration in the words and lyrics of your favorite writers, singers, and performers. Relishing great words by great writers will enhance your style.

 

I view the camera as a living entity. I flirt with it and have a great time.

—Suze Orman, personal finance expert, interview with the author

 

 

S
uze Orman's rapport with the camera was nearly as hard-earned as her wealth. It was a trial-by-fire experience that taught Orman how to do television. Her training ground was the cable TV home-shopping behemoth QVC. As she related the story to me, well before Orman was a household name and when TV appearances were still a little scary for her, she was nonetheless the person QVC wanted on its first program to broadcast before a live studio audience. There was a big publicity buildup to create interest in the program. Orman would appear with a lottery winner who said she won after reading Orman's book
You've Earned It, Don't Lose It.

Arriving at the studio the day of the broadcast, Orman came upon a chaotic scene. The lottery winner had spent the night in Atlantic City and was seriously hungover. The program host, the only professional, was beside herself with anxiety about the live audience. With lights blazing, cameras rolling, and expectation rising from the audience, the program began. Orman found herself seated between the host, who barely talked because she was a nervous wreck, and the lottery winner, who couldn't talk because she was wasted. Through the earpiece, Orman could hear the director screaming at the host to say something. The host was speechless and there was dead silence, so Orman took over carrying the program for the next hour. That wild experience was her introduction to live TV, and it taught her how to conquer the camera. Your first or next appearance doesn't need to be so dramatic.

Are you aware of the twenty-second rule? Do you know when to look directly at the camera? Do you have HDTV makeup? Is a navy-blue suit the
best choice? This chapter demystifies the camera so you can exercise more control in broadcast, cable, and online appearances and still be yourself. But being yourself takes a little extra work and some specialized know-how. TV land is different, so you must prepare differently. What works for in-person audiences doesn't necessarily translate well to a television monitor or computer screen. Adjustments are required in delivery technique, messaging, and wardrobe. Knowing how to sit, where to look, and what to wear will help you project a camera-ready well-spoken persona.

THE CAMERA: AN ACQUIRED TASTE

When Orman hears “You're on,” her made-for-television personality lights up the small screen. The words that cause others to sweat and stammer are the prompts that energize her rapport with the camera, which comes across as a combination of big-sisterly concern and televangelist intensity. This bond draws millions of viewers to her weekly cable TV talk show, QVC, PBS specials, and countless talk-show appearances. The fans tune in to get a regular dose of commonsense financial advice from a woman they trust with their money decisions. Orman shares a deep affinity with her fan base because she has dug her own way out of what many of them are trying to escape—a money pit.

A former waitress, Orman doesn't possess the well-modulated voice of a radio announcer or the detached cool of a professional broadcaster. On her cable program, Orman often displays her annoyance with callers who plead for approval of risky schemes that violate her “laws of money.” While she doesn't hesitate to express exasperation, her empathy is apparent as she counsels people to change their
errant ways. Orman does one of the hardest things in life, and she does it on camera: she appears as who she is. As she explained to me, she hasn't allowed anyone to mold her into being someone she isn't.
¹
She has molded herself into what she wants to be. Her persona is abundantly likable, and that's what counts on camera.

The Likability Quotient

On screen, the likability quotient reigns supreme. Television news directors watch anchor audition tapes with the sound turned down because they want to hire newsreaders who project a warm and friendly demeanor. Uptight and arrogant personalities don't attract viewers to the morning shows and evening newscasts. Viewers will stop channel surfing to watch people who make them feel comfortable. It is a popularity contest, and the winners are upbeat, proactive talkers with relevant, colorful messages.

The likability factor can present a double standard for women. The Barbara Lee Family Foundation—a foundation dedicated to women's advancement—has found that women seeking positions of power must prove both their likability and their credibility. It is not enough for a woman gubernatorial candidate to demonstrate that she is capable of doing the job. The woman candidate needs to come across as someone it would be fun to join for happy hour. Men get a pass on likability. If a man is perceived to be doing a good job, he is generally well liked. Women must demonstrate high job performance while projecting a girl-next-door image. Women who are too perfect, too intelligent, and too tough are viewed with suspicion.

Martha Coakley is the whip-smart, hard-edged Massachusetts attorney general who lost to Scott Brown in the US Senate race to fill Ted Kennedy's seat. Brown was a relatively junior state legislator who campaigned in a pickup truck, crisscrossing the state with his daughters in tow. When Coakley was asked to explain why she wasn't campaigning like her opponent, she shot back: “As opposed to standing outside Fenway Park? In the cold? Shaking hands?” Coakley's biting reference to her opponent's glad-handing style cost her more than the votes of Red Sox fans. When the candidates faced off in a televised debate, Coakley's frown and sharp elbows turned plenty of people off.

SHAPE UP TO GO ON CAMERA

The camera changes your demeanor and your appearance in ways that you might not expect. Lieutenant Governor Bev Perdue got an earful about her on-camera appearance from a complete stranger while campaigning in small-town North Carolina. After speaking at a rally, Perdue was approached by an elderly woman who asked to touch her. The request was odd but not the oddest, so the candidate held out her hand. The woman grabbed it, pulled Perdue in close, looked her straight in the eye, and said: “You are not nearly as old or as fat as you look on television.”

When I shared this story with a group of women business and political leaders, my intention was to add a touch of levity to a long day of coaching. Instead of a laugh, the reaction was a collective gasp. Each of the women was imagining herself in Perdue's place, smiling through clenched teeth while enduring an unsolicited comment about her appearance. For women in the public eye, the critique of every aspect of their look and wardrobe has long come with the territory. The scrutiny is now intensified with the proliferation of technology that can capture your image anyplace, anytime. A professional once could go her entire career without appearing on camera. Those days are gone. Don't be surprised when your next appearance at an industry conference or association is uploaded to the Internet. Be ready and willing when you are asked to appear on a cable television talk show. And then, brace yourself for the feedback from viewers who will instantly praise your performance or pan your lack of polish. In a digitally connected world, it is vital to add on-camera delivery techniques to your skill set.

Everyone looks larger and taller on TV. Orman says that when she meets people in person, they often comment on how small she is. TV creates something akin to a Renee Zellweger effect, except that the weight gain is an illusion. Zellweger actually bulked up on Snickers
^®
bars to play the character Bridget Jones. When you sit before a camera, the wide-screen lens appears to add as much as fifteen pounds. Cinematographers call the effect “mumping.” The other reason people look different on camera is that the technology flattens images. In person, you are a living, breathing, three-dimensional image. The camera reduces the three dimensions to two, even in a high-definition format.

The flattening and fattening effects of the camera technology can be minimized with special techniques. SHAPEUP is an acronym for seven delivery techniques that will help you shape up for the camera without undergoing a Zellweger diet or boot-camp regimen. The SHAPE UP techniques help you project likeability, and they ensure that you look like you. These tips will prepare you for broadcast news interviews, cable talk-show appearances, video blogs, YouTube® videos, and webcasts.

Shape Up: Smile

Nearly everyone should smile more than they think they should on camera. Watch the expressions on the faces of the anchors on
Good Morning
America.
The pros are very “smile-ly.” As inappropriate as this may seem, more facial expression is necessary to compensate for the two-dimensional effect of the camera, which drains away expression. An in-person neutral expression can appear bored or glum on a television or computer screen. An in-person serious expression looks more like a frown or scowl on TV. It may seem counterintuitive to smile broadly, especially when you are talking about a serious subject. But on TV, the smile will not look as big as it does in person, and it can help you project confidence, enthusiasm, and empathy. Be aware that the first time you try this technique, it may feel awkward and forced.

How broadly you should smile depends on the shape of your head and the bone structure of your face. Some people need to grin like the Cheshire Cat. The only way to determine what is appropriate is to prac tice on camera and review the tape. The most genuine smiles start in the brain and are evident by a sparkle in the eyes. A smile will look contrived if the eyes are dull. Recapture natural enthusiasm by thinking “happy” thoughts. Recall a moment when you heard good news and allow your
brain to power the expression. No one should use a closed-mouth smile, which looks like a smirk.

Shape Up: Hands

As Martha Stewart might say, hand gestures are “a good thing.” Hand gestures can be used to underscore key points, and the movement can externalize excess energy to help you relax.

Hand Gesture Box

On-camera hand gestures should be kept in an imaginary “hand box” that is centered at the top of the chest, as shown by figure B. The parameters of the hand box are below the chin, between the shoulders, and above the top of the bra. During a training session for a group of physicians, they reacted to the hand box by saying: “Oh, you mean the scrub zone.” The docs were referring to the area in front of the chest where they hold their hands once they've scrubbed up prior to surgery.