The Wedding Wager (McMaster the Disaster) (18 page)

“Oh,” was all I said, a little hurt at the insult. Okay, more like a little embarrassed that I thought I was being all sneaky and getting away with it. I had to give them props, those damned paparazzi people did have an eye for spotting people. It was just too bad those people usually wanted to remain unspotted.

“Oh don’t worry,” he said, reading my thoughts. “Believe me, it was a Godsend for us, the people who care about you.”

“Well, isn’t that nice for you,” I said.

“Okay, okay. I think maybe you’re missing the point here. The thing is, Jen’s not moving out. You know, if you’ll still have her.”

“Of course I’ll still have her, cripes, this place is a freakin’ graveyard without her.”

“Well that’s a lovely thought,” he said.

I smiled. “So… you said people were calling, does that mean just you and Jen, or….”

“Oh people have been calling all right. Your agent, your sister, your mother of course, good Lord half of them I swear were hers,” he said, with a slight edge of bitterness in his voice. Apparently he hadn’t yet fully gotten over the whole wedding planning thing.

I leaned forward until I was practically falling off the edge of my seat.

“And there were a few from a certain famous movie star,” he said, raising an eyebrow, smirking.

My breath caught and my heart started beating faster.

“If you’re messing with me I’m going to have a real graveyard in here,” I said.

Mattie rolled his eyes. “You really think you could take me?”

“In a heartbeat,” I said, inching even closer.

“Oh really,” he said, studying his nails again and somehow moving the phone even closer to him, further out of my reach. “And just how do you propose to do that?”

“Mess up your hair and pull out your pocket square. You’d be so flustered I wouldn’t even have to hurt you, you’d be all over yourself trying to put things back together.”

Mattie thought about this for a moment, and then I made a quick move toward his hair.

“Okay, okay,” he screamed, putting his hands up in surrender. “You got me, okay? Here, here, take it.” He shoved the phone toward me while fanning himself. “Geez, you don’t have to get so violent.”

I grinned and hit the voicemail button.

“Thirty-eight messages,” the computerized voice greeted me.

“Thirty-eight? Mattie, I thought you were going to weed them out for me.”

“I told you, there were no reporter messages. They’re all pretty much Jake and Jen and,” he cleared his throat and sighed. “Your mother.”

“Can’t you just tell me what they say?” My patience was wearing thinner by the second.

“If you promise not to threaten me again,” Mattie said, pouting a little.

“Yeah, yeah, I promise, geez. You’re such a baby when it comes to your hair.”

“And my pocket square,” he said, defensive.

I tilted my head, letting him know how very little I cared about his stupid pocket square at that moment.

“Okay, well, you already pretty much know all the Jen stuff. And the ones from your mother, well… they’re the usual. Her telling you how you’ve ruined your life yet again, blah, blah, blah.

“Of course,” I answered.

“But there was this one that was a bit different. I don’t know if she’d gotten into the wine or what, but she was like, crying and saying how sad she was for you and that she knew it wasn’t your fault and stuff. But then the next one was back to her usual self so she must have sobered up or something.”

“She was crying?”

“Yeah, it was so weird. Like seriously sobbing. She wanted you to have the same sort of happiness she’d found with your father so many years ago or whatever.”

“Happiness? I didn’t think they’d been happy a day in their lives? I mean, my Dad always seemed happy, but I figured that was in spite of my mother.”

“Amen to that,” Mattie said, and I gave him another look.

It was one thing for me to insult my mother, but another thing entirely for other people to do it. Particularly ones who recently had a feud with her. Well, sort of.

“Sorry,” he actually said, which nearly knocked me off my chair.

“Okay, so, what were the ones from Jake like?” I asked, pretending not to be as interested as I was, picking at an invisible hangnail.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Mattie form a huge smirk. “Well, those ones were certainly the most interesting of them all.”

CHAPTER 20

“Mattie, come on, what did he say?”

“Relax, relax, I’m getting to it.” He cleared his throat dramatically.

Just then I noticed a new email pop up in my inbox. It was Jake.

I raised an eyebrow. “Hmm… perhaps I won’t have to wait for the drama queen after all. Maybe this will explain it.” I clicked on the message while Mattie sat there, his mouth open and ready for his big story, his eyes rather confused.

Now it was my turn to smirk.

Josie,

It’s obvious that you don’t want to talk to me and it’s not like I can blame you. Sixteen messages and forty emails are more than enough to tell me you’ve let me go. I can’t believe what a dumb ass I was. It’s so stupid, I didn’t understand why you were doing the whole book thing, but now I think I do.

I just didn’t want to see you hurting again. That’s why I was against the book idea, not because I didn’t want you to work or have your own hopes and dreams. I would always support your hopes and dreams. It’s just that last time you went through the whole paparazzi thing, you have no idea how hard it was for all of us who love you to watch you suffer like that.

But I think I get it now.

The diary, and the whole paparazzi experience are part of what makes you who you are. And I should have figured that out. I mean, the paparazzi are part of my life too and when I really sit down and think about it, I suppose I wouldn’t have it any other way either. At least I know I still matter when they’re around. Of course it’s the same for you.

If I’m being completely honest, maybe I get a little jealous when the paparazzi focus on you instead of me.

I was just too dense to realize it at the time.

I don’t know what else to say, except that I am forever sorry that I ruined the best thing I ever had in my life, and I hope someday, we might be able to be friends again.

Love always,

Jake

The tears streamed to my eyes. There was nothing I could do to stop them.

Wave after wave oozed out like I had a river inside me.

And the most surprising thing of all? Mattie actually reached into his jacket and handed me his pocket square hanky, which, of course, just made me cry even harder. I mean, for Mattie to give up his pocket square was no small feat, especially considering it was one of the good paisley silk ones.

“Thanks,” I blubbered.

Mattie just sat with his hands crossed on his lap, looking uncomfortable and waiting for me to finish my breakdown.

I gasped and gulped and snorted and sniffed until finally I resembled something of a human being again.

Mattie cleared his throat. “Well, that was nasty. Just in case you were wondering, you are not one of those people who look cuter when they’re crying.”

“Oh, thank you so much,” I said. “And there is no such thing as people who look cuter crying.”

He bowed his head and shook it, as if wondering how on Earth I’d ever made it this far through life. “Um, hello. Have you forgotten about Audrey Hepburn, Meg Ryan, or the cat from the Shrek movies?”

I burst out laughing, and boy did it feel good. I mean, the cry was cleansing and all, but a good belly laugh certainly never hurt anyone. “Oh pardon me, I guess you’re right then.”

“So, are you going to call him, or what?”

I was suddenly more nervous than I had ever been in my life. I mean, I was McMaster the Disaster, after all. The chances were quite good that I would screw it up again. “Uh, maybe I’ll just send an email.”

“Josie, this is the love of your life and you’re scared of calling him, aren’t you?”

I nodded, feeling a tad bit sheepish.

He sighed. “So sad.”

“I know, I know, but I don’t know what to say.”

“Fine, email him then. At least let him know there’s still a chance for you two before the poor boy goes and throws himself off a bridge.”

I rolled my eyes and started typing.

Dear Jake,

I’m sorry I haven’t responded to any of your emails or calls. I haven’t actually been checking my messages for a while now. I’ve basically been holed up in my apartment trying to figure out my life.

I’d really like to see you.

Love,

Josie

“That’s all you’re putting?” Mattie asked, aghast as I hit the send button. “All the things going on in your head and that’s all you’re going to say?”

I turned to glare at him as he snooped over my shoulder. “I told you, I didn’t know what to say, geez.”

I glanced back at the computer, thinking I’d put it away for a little while and not try to check it too compulsively when a new message popped up.

I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.

Jake

“Oh shit,” I said, my eyes wide, turning to Mattie.

“You cannot let him see you like that,” he said, his own panic creeping into his voice.

“I know!” I yelled, jumping up off the couch and spinning in a full circle, which of course, accomplished exactly nothing.

“Get to your vanity table!” Mattie yelled, above the crazy weird noises that were coming out of my mouth. “I’ll find something for you to wear, but you have got to get some makeup to cover those red eyes and nose!” He was beginning to flail something fierce.

I had no idea if it was right or not, but I jumped to attention at Mattie’s command and high-tailed it to my bedroom.

I jumped over to my vanity, scrambling to find the right foundation and cursing myself for keeping such a huge collection of them. I mean, I didn’t even wear them all, and half of them weren’t even close to the right color for me.

Of course, I never thought I’d be in a situation where foundation was practically a matter of life or death either.

Panicking, I started tossing bottle after bottle into the garbage, suddenly needing to get rid of the old clutter, a sense of claustrophobia coming over me. In my out of control state, I knocked one of the bottles over, a huge mess seeping over my white dressing table. I froze, my mind going blank, still emotionally unable to deal with a new crisis, no matter how small.

“Josie, what are you doing?” Mattie asked, charging out of the closet with a few items of clothing in his hands.

“I don’t know, I can’t get anything straight, I have to get rid of some of this junk. I’m a total mess.”

Mattie crouched down in front of me. “Josie, it’s going to be okay, just breathe. Don’t worry, he obviously wants you back.”

“But…” the tears started threatening again. “What if he can’t deal with this?” I asked, motioning to my mess of a self. “I can’t be in perfect makeup and perfect hair every day all day.”

“Josie, I’m sure Jake doesn’t care about all that.”

“But look at me, I’m a disaster. I mean, that’s my friggin’ nickname for God’s sake. I’m going to screw stuff up.”

The buzzer went and my eyes went wide.

“Oh God, he’s early,” Mattie said. “I’ll try and stall him.”

Stall him? I thought. Is that what I was doing? Just stalling the inevitable?

Jake had never seen me the way I was then. No makeup, grungy clothes, red eyes. What if he wasn’t willing to deal with the real me?

Jake burst through the door, Mattie close on his heels. “I tried to stop him from barging in but…”

I waved him away. “It’s okay Mattie.”

He nodded and backed out the door, closing it behind him.

Jake rushed over and knelt in front of me. I’d never felt so exposed in my life and tried to hide my face in my hands.

“Josie, what are you doing?” He pulled my hands away.

I turned my head and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. It was worse than I thought.

My hands instinctively tried to go to my face again, but Jake held on to them.

He sighed. “I’m so sorry Josie. I don’t know what got into me, I think maybe I just got scared or something.”

“I know,” I said, fighting tears as hard as I could. “Life around me can get pretty scary.”

“No, it’s not that. I think I was scared of everything. It sounds so stupid and cliché but I think I was scared of the commitment, of everything moving so fast.” He put his hand to my face and wiped a tear I hadn’t even known had fallen. “Not of you. Never of you.”

“But look at me, I’m such a mess.”

“I’ve never seen you look more beautiful.”

And with that, I burst into tears, laughing and bawling at the same time.

“Josie McMaster,” Jake said, wiping my tears with a tissue. “Will you please… please marry me?”

I let out a sort of cry laugh and nodded. “Yes… please,” I said between gulping breaths.

“Oh dear God, we’ve lost so much time,” a voice came from the hallway.

Jake and I turned and looked, realizing that Mattie hadn’t completely closed the door behind him after all. He gave us a sheepish look, then started fanning himself, pacing up and down the hallway.

Jake and I burst into giggles.

CHAPTER 21

The next several weeks went by in a huge blur.

As per usual, I attempted to panic approximately once every few minutes, but everyone told me not to worry about a thing.

It wasn’t that I was so busy with wedding planning, it was that no one would even let me help. They said it was all a big surprise and I would love it. If it weren’t for Jen constantly taking me to the spa, out walking, and trying to get me to concentrate on my writing, I might have become a complete basket case.

Oh, who was I kidding? I was totally a complete basket case.

~ ~ ~

The big day arrived and a strange calm came over me. Whatever was going to happen, would happen.

I was chauffeured to a huge white tent, which the car drove right into. Memories of being a bridesmaid in Emma Van Horn’s wedding flooded back. The photographers, the decorations, the dresses… it would all be here again, only this time it was for me.