The Wedding Runaway (22 page)

"
Exactly so. Although I could not quite decipher how the mechanics should work if I took a boy as a lover. I daresay I got carried away when I realized there was no such problem.
"

Keene gave a sound between a snort and a cough. He was probably amused
,
although it was no laughing matter.
"
I thought you were behaving oddly. Although my first concern was that you had mortally wounded the boy and weren
'
t willing for us to see.
"

Victor was shaky all the sudden. He could have killed her.
"
Her wound is not terribly bad.
"

"
So the surgeon said. Sheridan seemed mightily interested in details of his
,
er
,
her injury.
"

Oh, God
,
had Sheridan figured out that Lenny was a female? He had an uncanny knack for ferreting out the truth. It was bad enough that Victor had to tell Keene
,
and he would have to call on Sheridan and offer his apologies to his wife
,
Felicity. But right now
,
he needed to protect not-Leonard from himself.
"
You had best stay until her maid arrives
,
and she is safe from my attentions.
"

Keene smiled slowly.
"
On the contrary
,
I should perhaps leave. Bottoms up.
"
He tilted the glass up and downed the brandy.

"
Bloody hell
,
no! Don
'
t you dare. I cannot destroy her. The surgeon gave her laudanum. She is not likely to be clear of head
,
and I never meant to lay a hand on her...I just...
"
Any excuse would sound weak and pathetic.
"
I lost control. You interrupted in the nick of time.
"

"
I hardly think you shall destroy her
,"
Keene objected.
"
And I heard no protest from her. She had only to call out when she knew I was at the door.
"

Victor ran a shaky hand through his hair.
"
I dare not destroy her innocence.
"
He destroyed nearly everyone he came in contact with.

"
And is she innocent?
"

"
I would say so.
"
Victor paced across the floor
,
too edgy to sit. She was enthusiastic in her approach
,
but her moves held an awkward bashfulness that could hardly have been faked. It was as if she had made up her mind to accept each move he made and contribute.

Keene leaned forward.
"
Then I would suggest you make it not so.
"

"
I cannot believe you would council me so. You were not so encouraging with Mary Frances.
"
His wife had never been so enthusiastic either.

Keene gave him an exasperated look.
"
We both know that Mary Frances was much more a curse than her father
'
s money was a blessing to you. No
,
I remember that I had Sophie flat on a bed within ten minutes of first seeing her and I was too
gentlemanly
to see it through. I had much more concern about her
innocence
than she ever did.
"
Keene said the words gentlemanly and innocence as if they were offensive.
"
I would have saved us both much anguish if I had taken her then.
"

"
But you...but you...you were there to propose to her.
"

"
And I was not the least bit happy about it. My father had forced my hand. The last time I had seen her she was sitting in a cherry tree spitting pits. I mean, we were all enamored of Amelia back then
,
and Sophie was the converse of ladylike. How was I to know that she was everything I ever wanted?
"

Victor didn
'
t see what bearing Keene
'
s short courtship had on his problem with his houseguest. Why had not-Leonard decided to welcome his seduction? An innocent rarely was driven by the pleasure that could be had.

Keene lowered his voice.
"
I only knew that she made me angry and I wanted to bed her.
"

"
Yes
,
but Lenny is under my protection and I cannot ruin her.
"
Victor threw up his hands.
"
I do not know her name, even.
"

"
To be precise
,
her staying here with you is compromise enough to ruin her.
"

"
Not if no one knows her real identity.
"

"
Do you not think others will find it strange
,
you shooting a boy and then bringing him home with you?
"

"
No stranger than our friendship
,
or that Sheridan and Bedford both lived under the same roof after their duel.
"

Keene pulled on his lower lip.
"
You could have her stay with Sophie and me.
"

"
No!
"
The denial was out before Victor had time to think it through. He didn
'
t want not-Leonard out of his sight.

Keene smiled.
"
Then finish your seduction.
"

"
You are horrid. I cannot do that to her. I cannot be so lacking in honor. She is
under my protection.
"
Surely
,
Keene could understand the difference. Sophie was under her father
'
s protection
,
not Keene
'
s
,
when he nearly had his way with her. A good scream would have brought servants running in Sophie
'
s case. Not-Leonard would have no such assurance of rescue.

"
Not so. You never listen to my best advice anyway. You will have to marry her
,
you know.
"

Horror killed what was left of his ardor. He wouldn
'
t do that to himself. He wouldn
'
t do it to her.
"
That is what I mean to avoid at all costs. I shall not marry again. I cannot bear the thought of it.
"
Victor gripped the back of a chair so hard his knuckles turned white.

Keene held out his glass for a refill.
"
Her bloodline must be at least as good as Mary Frances
'
s was.
"

"
It
'
s not that.
"
Victor grabbed Keene
'
s glass and headed back to the sideboard.
"
I have never seen anything but misery come of marriage. I
'
m not willing to put myself or any woman through that again.
"

"
My marriage is hardly a misery
,"
objected Keene.

"
I have seen you in the agonies of despair when Sophie is crawling about on a roof. You cannot tell me all is pleasant.
"

"
No
,
but the aftermath is heady. It is worth it.
"

"
Would you say so if she fell to her death?
"
asked Victor, handing the glass of brandy to Keene.

"
Probably not.
"
Keene took a sip and looked away.
"
It is as much or more my own fear of losing everyone I love that causes our discord.
"

"
I don
'
t fear losing loved ones
,
but I can make a royal mess of their lives. What madness did not destroy in Mary Frances
,
I finished off. I did my best to destroy you and my effect on George and Amelia
'
s marriage is hardly my best credit.
"

"
That does not mean you can discount marriage by comparing it to what you had with Mary Frances.
"

"
You cannot name many happy marriages to those that are unpleasant. From Priney on down
,
I know few that are worth the hell of it.
"

"
Tony and Felicity.
"

"
Her first marriage was not so happy
,
and she barely has time for Tony
,
now. Were it not for their son
,
I do not know that they should hold together. What about George and Amelia
,
our half-sister and Bedford
,
or our father and my mother? Bloody hell
,
I watched my father break my mother
'
s heart and put her in an early grave
,
as I in my own manner did to Mary Frances. No
,
I should not care to put so much effort into a thing that by its very nature is more like to fail than succeed.
"

"
You are still grieving
,"
Keene said, as if surprised.

Victor
'
s first inclination was to deny it
,
but this was Keene, who knew him better than anyone.
"
It has only been three months.
"

"
Yes
,
but I thought Mary Frances was dead to you long before she actually died. You could hardly be responsible for the fire or that she ran back inside after you rescued her once. That was just her madness.
"

Victor faced the fireplace. It was his fault. He had pushed for concessions that Mary Frances could never have given.
"
She was never dead to me. I was still trying to salvage something and I wanted...I thought I wanted a son or at least a child I could raise. God knows
,
that was the final straw for her.
"

Keene put a hand on his shoulder
,
startling Victor.
"
That young woman up there could give you sons.
"

"
No
,
I will never allow my desires to destroy another human being again. I have done enough damage. I want nothing. I need nothing. I have taken enough
,
and I have nothing left to give. No
,
I will not marry ever again.
"

~*~

Lydia shoved her feet between the sheets and pulled them up to her chin. She felt a little unglued and a lot naked. What had just happened?

Victor had kissed her. She knew that. He had done a lot more than kiss her. He had touched her in places that shocked her and thrilled her. Her breasts still tingled where he had caressed
,
stroked and cupped his long elegant fingers around her.

She had touched him in ways that surprised her
,
as if she could only be satisfied to feel his warm skin against hers. It had all felt natural and intoxicating. She flopped to her side. Pain shot through her shoulder, ricocheting right down to her teeth.

Yet everything she
'
d been taught ran counter to what had just happened. Well-bred women weren
'
t supposed to be so base. She was embarrassed by her lack of control
,
by her wantonness
,
by her ability to find pleasure in such an animalistic act. She knew men were supposed to enjoy such things
,
but a woman
'
s liking was only supposed to extend through the opening salvos and the rest just tolerated. Conjugal joining was a gift to be given for a husband
'
s enjoyment. Wasn
'
t it?

She eased onto her back
,
but found that position no more comfortable. Her wound throbbed with an increasing ache that made the back of her throat dry. She shifted to sit
,
alleviating the pressure against her bandages. Moving like cold molasses, she rearranged the pillows.

The door opened just as she eased back and pulled the covers to her chin. Victor rolled down his sleeves as he walked across the floor, then opened the wardrobe.
"
The surgeon is here. I shall send him up to you.
"

He pulled on a waistcoat and jacket as he spoke
,
and he failed to look once in her direction.
"
Apparently
,
your maid refuses to leave your lodgings without the order coming directly from you. Would you care to pen her a note? Does she read? Would she recognize your hand?
"

Oh, Lord, what was Jenny planning? And why wouldn
'
t Victor look at her? She wanted to throw the covers over her head and hide.
"
Did your man tell her you shot me?
"

Victor turned in her direction. He looked down at his waistcoat as he buttoned it.
"
I do not know. You need your maid here.
"

He seemed impatient...angry. Judging by his manner, he was just as mortified by her behavior as she was.

He moved back across the room and yanked open a drawer. He pulled out a neck cloth and wound it around under his shirt points.

Lydia put her head on her knees. Her head swam with confusion and hurt. Why would a man she had deceived from the moment they met
,
want anything to do with her?
"
Are you angry with me or my maid?
"

He slammed the drawer shut.
"
Myself, mostly.
"

She jerked her head up
,
surprised by his answer.

He moved to the foot of the bed and Lydia couldn
'
t help but drink in the sight of his long legs and the way the material shifted over the smooth muscles of his thighs as he walked.