The Wedding Countdown (30 page)

But Wish doesn’t look convinced.

‘Just be careful,’ he warns. ‘I wouldn’t spend too much time with Wacky, Mills, he’s got a terrible reputation.’

‘All right,’ I say. ‘I get the picture.’ And I seethe all the way to Pimlico because I can’t stand Wish making me feel like a teenager.

The after-party is being held at the exclusive Westminster Boating Base, a contemporary building with breathtaking views of the Thames. Elegant waiters glide along with one arm held behind their backs, distributing drinks to all the guests, while the music thuds so loudly that the champagne glasses clink on the trays. Experience has taught me to be careful and I make certain that the twins and I have juice.

‘What do you think of the venue?’ asks Raza.

‘It’s amazing!’ I say.

‘This is the venue that they used for the wedding reception in
Love Actually
,’ Raza tells me. ‘We use it a lot for work functions. It’s nice.’

‘Nice?’ squeaks Roma, her eyes out on stalks. ‘It’s incredible.’

‘If you like ostentatious venues full of show-offs,’ says Wish. ‘Oh dear, did I say that out loud?’

Wish’s bad mood is starting to annoy me. It’s not as though he’s new to the whole celeb thing, is it? He’s always quick enough to escort Minty to the latest party.

‘Lighten up,’ I tell him.

Wish glowers at me. ‘I’m staying for an hour, and only because I might get some good shots.’

‘Come on, Wish, Wacky invited us especially.’

‘Invited you, you mean,’ says Wish. ‘Well, enjoy it, Mills. I’m going to get some pictures. We’re supposed to be working not socialising.’ And he stomps through the gyrating bodies with a face like thunder.

What’s wrong with him? If I didn’t know better I’d say that he’s behaving like a jealous lover, which is a ridiculous thought. Why should it bother Wish that Wacky has taken a shine to me? I’m with Raza anyway.

Oh God, that’s it! Wish is pissed off because he thinks I’m going to do the dirty on his best friend. I stare at his ramrod back and waves of mortification break over me. How did things get so bad between us?

The party’s a real eye-opener. The drink, food and drugs are plentiful and to my shock a young guy sidles up to me and whispers into my ear, ‘Hey! You up for some speed?’

‘No thanks,’ I tell him sweetly. ‘That would be a very silly thing for an off-duty policewoman to do, don’t you think?’

Before you can say ‘You’re busted!’ the pusher vanishes back into the throng. But I’m really uncomfortable. I don’t want my sisters anywhere near recreational popping/snorting/sniffing. Maybe we should leave now before they’re exposed to even dodgier dealings?

Not that I can imagine what these could be.

The twins are busy dancing to PoppadRUm’s last number one so, hoping they’re safe on the dance floor, I weave through the crowds of fans and celebrities to the bar where Raza is chatting to Zak.

I tell them both about my experience with the pusher. Neither guy looks surprised. Raza even laughs as though I’ve told a hilarious joke.

‘Has he gone?’ asks Zak.

I nod. ‘But I’m sure he’ll be back.’

Zak grins. ‘I hope so, darling; I could do with some Charlie. Those greedy boys hoovered up mine during the limo ride over. If you’ll excuse me I’ll just nip to the gents and see who I can find.’

‘Did you hear that?’ I gasp, once Zak vanishes into the throng. ‘He’s as good as told us PoppadRUm do drugs!’

‘That’s hardly news,’ shrugs Raza. ‘Everyone who’s part of the celeb circuit needs a little pick-me-up now and then. Did you know cocaine is cheaper nowadays than a Starbucks?’

‘But it’s illegal!’

‘So’s driving fast but we’ve all done it, babe.’

There speaks a man who’s never driven a Nissan Micra.

‘I think we should go. I don’t want the twins exposed to drugs.’

‘Chill, baby,’ Raza laughs affectionately. ‘It’s not as though everyone’s shooting up. Drugs are a major part of the media scene; you’d be amazed how many people indulge at the weekends. Besides, you’re supposed to be representing
GupShup
. It wouldn’t make a very good impression if the showbiz reporter stormed out of a celebrity party, would it?’

‘I don’t care about PR.’ I’m irritated by his blasé attitude. ‘I just want to get the twins home.’

‘And we will, angel,’ soothes Raza. ‘We’ll wait until the party’s in full swing and then we’ll go, when nobody will notice us. Until then just relax and enjoy yourself. I won’t let anything happen to you or your sisters.’

‘OK,’ I say grudgingly. ‘But I’m going to stick like glue to the twins, and when Wish leaves we’re going with him.’ With that, I stomp off in search of my sisters, feeling rather disappointed because my knight in shining armour is looking a bit tarnished.

I’m just about to drag Roma off the dance floor, and starting to panic because I can’t see Fizz, when a large warm hand snakes around my waist and I find myself clasped against a rippling torso and gazing into Wacky’s dilated pupils.

‘Hey,’ he slurs. ‘I’ve been looking everywhere for you. How about we get out of here and go somewhere more intimate? I’ve got a penthouse and a massive bed. What d’you say?’

‘Let go!’ I cry, pulling away so hard that Wacky loses his balance and staggers for a moment. ‘I’m here with my …err… my fiancé!’

But does Wacky give a toss about my (imaginary) fiancé?

‘Forget him, baby. I’ll show you a much better time.’ He thrusts his groin in my direction.

‘You’re making a prat of yourself.’

‘God, you’re even hotter when you’re pissed off,’ says Wacky. ‘Come on, don’t be like that. We’re made for each other.’

‘We are not,’ I snap. ‘Anyway, I’ve already told you, I’m engaged! And I happen to be totally devoted to my fiancé.’

‘I’m talking about a shag, not a lifetime commitment. He’ll never know. I promise you a night you’ll never forget.’

‘You’ve already done that,’ I tell him. ‘The thought of you will give me nightmares for years.’

‘Man, I love a chick with balls!’ Wacky takes a swig of his beer, and then drops down to his knees. One sweaty paw clutches my hand. ‘I’m begging, baby! Please sleep with me.’

‘Stop it!’ I snatch my hand away. ‘My fiancé’s really jealous and he’ll kill you if you touch me!’ I crane my neck hoping to attract Raza’s attention but, flipping typical, he’s vanished. The only person I recognise is Wish, whose eyebrows practically shoot into orbit when he sees Wacky sprawled at my feet.

‘Look! There he is now!’ I cry, waving frantically at Wish. ‘Darling! Over here!’

‘Him?’ says Wacky. ‘The photographer?’

‘Yes! He’s got a really violent temper! He hates me talking to other guys!’

‘Well, that explains it.’ Wacky hauls himself to his feet, brushes off his designer jeans and gives me a sheepish smile. ‘No wonder he was so miserable during the interview. He probably thought I was going to jump your bones.’

I really can’t be bothered to explain.

‘That’s right!’ I say. ‘He wanted to kill you.’

‘Christ,’ Wacky pales, as Wish elbows his way towards us, every inch the angry fiancé. ‘Sorry mate,’ he says quickly, looking up at Wish who is a good head taller and, I can’t help but notice, twice as well muscled because Wacky must only bother with his six-pack. ‘I didn’t realise she was your girl.’

‘Hello darling!’ I say brightly. ‘I was just telling Wacky we’re engaged.’

‘I didn’t realise!’ insists Wacky.

Wish doesn’t miss a beat. ‘It’s a very recent engagement, isn’t it darling?’

‘Yes, very recent!’

‘We keep it quiet,’ Wish continues, giving me a frosty look, ‘because Mills doesn’t like to mix business with pleasure.’

Ouch.

‘You make a great couple,’ Wacky gushes. ‘Oh look,’ he points vaguely towards the VIP area, ‘David and Elton! I must say hello!’

Off he staggers, leaving Wish and me alone.

‘I can explain,’ I say hastily.

‘Don’t bother.’

‘I should have listened to you. Sorry.’

Wish shrugs. ‘Don’t beat yourself up about it. You needed to experience the so-called glamour of celeb life for yourself. We don’t all have Minty to guide us through.’

‘Do you think we could leave? This really isn’t the place for the girls.’ I beckon to Roma, but of Fizz and Raza there’s no sign. Raza can look after himself but I’m not so sure that the same is true of Fizz. Oh crap, what if Wacky makes an indecent proposal to her? She’ll be off to his penthouse before you can say
izzat
!

‘Where’s Fizz?’ I demand when Roma joins us.

Roma shrugs. ‘She was dancing a while back.’

I look so quickly round the room that my head could give the kid in
The Exorcist
a run for her money.

‘Maybe she’s with Raza?’ says Roma.

‘Where’s he?’

‘I saw him heading for the loo.’

Wish puts a fleeting hand on my shoulder. ‘You guys go and get your bags and wait for me by the door. I’ll find them. Don’t worry, she can’t be far away.’

‘Thanks Wish,’ I say.

I put my arm round Roma’s shoulders.

‘Wish is really nice, isn’t he?’ she says.

‘Yes,’ I tell her. ‘He is.’

After waiting for ten minutes I’m really starting to worry. Any remaining stumps of nails I may have had left are well and truly gnawed away and I’m making inroads into the skin at the sides.

I imagine so many awful things happening to Fizz that when she eventually appears, subdued and red-eyed, I’m so relieved I’m hardly able to take it in. Raza and Wish are just behind her and, judging from their raised voices, are having a serious disagreement.

‘Here she is,’ says Wish, his face dark with anger. ‘She’s in one piece. Thanks to your fiancé, apparently. Or maybe that should be your other fiancé?’ and to my dismay he storms off without so much as a wishing me goodnight.

I stare after him, totally bemused.

‘Miserable sod,’ says Raza.

‘What happened?’ I demand.

Raza and Fizz look at each other.

‘What’s going on?’

Raza glowers at me. ‘I don’t like my girl getting up close and personal with other men, especially when she won’t even hold my sodding hand!’

‘Nothing happened! He cornered me.’

‘It didn’t look like that from where we were standing. You know how much Fizz idolises Wacky.’ Raza’s every inch the injured party. ‘She was devastated to see him holding hands with you. As was I.’

‘We didn’t hold hands! He grabbed me.
Sheesh
! He was off his face!’

‘Really?’ says Raza.

I put my arm around the unusually silent Fizz. ‘If you won’t believe me then I’m going to make Wacky tell you exactly what happened. There’s no way I’d do that to you, Fizz. Or to you,’ I add to Raza. ‘Where is he?’

‘Let it go,’ says Raza. ‘I believe you. He’ll be even more sloshed now and, besides, there’s always paparazzi lurking around PoppadRUm. It’s not worth risking your name or Fizz's over a drunken idiot. Imagine being splashed all over the Sunday tabloids! He isn’t worth it.’

‘Maybe not,’ I say reluctantly, ‘but if he thinks I’m going to be generous in the interview then he’s in for a nasty shock.’ I put my other arm round Roma. ‘Let’s go home.’

Fizz shrugs me off and stalks ahead. It breaks my heart to see her robbed of all her usual fire. Why didn’t she tell me how upset she was? Why did she speak to Raza instead? We’ve always been so close, so what’s changed?

It doesn’t make sense.

Raza walks us outside. The cold midnight air is like silk against my hot cheeks and my hearing is muffled and weird without the constant thump of the music. The only sounds are the distant bass from the party and the odd sniff from Fizz. I’m really worried. Fizz never cries. She must have a way bigger crush on Wacky than I’d imagined.

‘The limo’s on the way.’ Raza snaps his mobile shut. ‘Five minutes. I’ll get a cab, otherwise you’ll have to go miles out of your way.’

‘Raza,’ I say slowly, ‘why did you fall out with Wish? Was it anything to do with Fizz? And did you tell him we’re engaged?’

‘Don’t be silly!’ Raza laughs. ‘Of course not. I was just waiting for Fizz to wash her face when Wish turned up like bloody RoboCop, demanding to know where she was. Is it my fault that he may have misinterpreted things?’

I stare at him.

‘It’s nothing for you to panic about.’ Shadows play on the sharp angles of his face. ‘I’ll talk to Wish tomorrow and we’ll sort it.’

Then the limo arrives and Raza literally pushes me in, bids me a quick farewell and then slams the door shut.

I’ve never claimed to be much good at maths but as the limo threads its way through the empty streets and Fizz sobs into a tissue I know something doesn’t add up.

And I don’t like it at all.

Chapter 27

‘Mills,
baj
! Wake up!’

I’m in the middle of a hideous dream, something to do with being chased by a cobra that has Raza’s head. I don’t need to be Freud to work that dream out. I must be more worried about moving our relationship on than I realised.

‘Roma,’ I croak because after all the shouting above the music at the PoppadRUm
party it feels like my tonsils have been attacked with a cheese grater. ‘Do you know what time it is?’

Roma rips the curtains open. ‘It’s nearly lunchtime.’

I dive under my covers as bright arrows of unseasonal sunshine shoot into the room. I don’t think that I’ve ever felt so weary. My eyes seem to have weights in the lids and my limbs ache from all the dancing. I’d like nothing more than to turn over and go back to sleep.

Without the phallic dreams, of course.

‘Don’t go back to sleep!’ Roma whips my duvet off. ‘Fizz has gone!’

‘What do you mean, she’s gone?’

‘Exactly that. I just woke up and she wasn’t there. She left this.’ Roma hands me a tatty piece of paper. ‘Mills, she’s gone.’

Cursing myself for letting the twins sleep on the sofa bed in the sitting room rather than in with me, I scan the note.

Popped out for a last few hours of freedom! See you at the station. F x

I screw the note up and fling it across the room. ‘I’m going to kill her!’

‘Where do you think she is?’

‘Allah-
ji
only knows.’ I’m wide awake now. ‘She could be anywhere.’ I jump out of bed and tug on my jeans. ‘Topshop? PoppadRUm’s hotel?’ Hopping on one foot then the other I pull on my Uggs and search for my bra. ‘Have you called her?’