The Weavers of Saramyr (28 page)

‘We cannot turn back!’ Kaiku protested. ‘I swore an oath to Ocha. We have to go on.’

‘The gods are patient, Kaiku,’ said Asara. ‘You will not forget your oath, and nor will Ocha; but you cannot rush blindly at this. We retreat, and try again.’

‘You’ll die if you don’t, besides,’ Mamak put in.

Kaiku’s brow was scored with a line of frustration. ‘I cannot turn back!’ she reiterated. Asara was puzzled at the desperation in her voice.

‘But we must,’ she said. ‘We have no choice.’

Tane awoke several hours later. The storm howled and boomed outside, its tumult now a background noise. Kaiku was sitting at the fire, staring into its heart. She had been banking it up with fire-moss. Tane, still lying on his side, blinked at her and frowned. He had been withdrawn since his conversation with Asara, fiercely preoccupied with his own thoughts; now he noticed that Kaiku had lapsed into a similar attitude.

She jumped slightly when he spoke.

‘Kaiku?’ he observed. ‘Why aren’t you asleep?’ ‘When I sleep, I dream of boars,’ she replied.

‘You turn back so easily, Tane,’ she said, her voice soft and contemplative. ‘I swore to the Emperor of the gods, yet you turn

back so easily.‘
<
_W7
…

He was still barely awake, and his eyes drowsed heavy. We will

try again,‘ he mumbled. ’Not giving up.‘

‘Perhaps this was not your path to take after all,’ she murmured to herself. ‘Perhaps it is mine alone.’

If she said anything else Tane did not hear it, for he was drawn back into oblivion once more.

The next morning, Kaiku was gone. She had walked into the storm with only her pack and her rifle. And with her went the Mask.

Eighteen

Mishani wore a robe of dark green for her audience with Lucia, and a wide sash of blue around her slender l» waist. The sash was more than decorative, for pressed against her lower back was the gift she had been charged to deliver. The slight bulge it made was hidden by her thick, ankle-length hair, which she had bound with blue strips of leather. A flat square of elegant wrapping paper, and within it the nightdress that would be the Heir-Empress’s death.

It took every once of her carefully cultivated self-control to keep herself calm as she was escorted into the presence of the Empress. Quite aside from anything else, the prospect of having a garment riddled with bone fever pressed close to her skin was terrifying. Her father had assured her that the package was sealed tight, and its wrapping treated with odourless antiseptics to keep the disease inside; and besides, it was a very low-grade infection, and it would only take effect if breathed in over a period of time, such as in sleep. Mishani sneered inside at his words; it was bitterly obvious that he knew nothing about bone fever, that he was merely parroting the blithe assurances of Sonmaga. What had the Barak of Blood Amacha promised, that had turned her father into his lapdog, and
her
into his cat’s-paw?

She was taken aback by her own vehemence. Before all this, she would never have allowed herself to think so uncharitably about her father. But as she was shown into the room where Anais was waiting, she was still certain that everything she felt was justified. He knew she could not refuse him, and he betrayed her by using that assurance for his own ends. She did not want to be party to murder; and to make her an assassin of the lowest kind, the sort of

filth who would use
disease
as a weapon… The raw shame if she was caught would drive her to suicide.

Her father was full of meaningless words: she would be averting a civil war, saving many lives, doing a great service for Saramyr. She heard none of them, knew them for the empty platitudes they were. She wanted to weep, to hug him and then shout in his face: Do
not
do this, Father! Can you not see what will happen to us? It is not too late; if you change your mind now, I can still be your daughter
.

But he had not changed his mind. And she felt the bonds between them sawn apart so brutally that she could barely look at him. Suddenly she saw every annoying tic, every blemish on his face, every unpleasant quirk of his character. She did not respect him any longer, and that was a terrible thing for a daughter to

admit.

She would murder for him, because she must. But after that, she was no longer his. She suspected he knew that, but he sent her

anyway.

Sonmaga. Her hatred for him knew no bounds.

Mishani talked with Anais for some time, though afterward she hardly remembered what was said. The Empress was trying to divine Mishani’s standpoint on Lucia’s accession to the throne, but Mishani revealed nothing in her pleasant responses. Anais inquired after her father also, obviously hoping to learn why Mishani had come when the Barak was such a staunch opponent to her. Mishani said enough to assure Anais that she was approaching the situation with an open mind, and she did not believe in judging somebody

she had never met.

But a cold dread was settling slowly on to Mishani as she spoke to the Empress. Was her mask slipping, and her own fear and trepidation showing through? Certainly it seemed as if the Empress was procrastinating, unwilling to show Mishani through to Lucia’s chambers. She seemed frankly nervous. The package pressed against Mishani’s lower back burned with the heat of the shame it bore. Could the mother sense she meant harm to the child? She felt perspiration prickle her scalp.

Then Anais was inviting her through, up to the gardens that nestled among the confusing maze of the Imperial Keep’s top level. The temple to Ocha that was the centre point of the roof rose magnificently against the midday sky, and the four thin needles at

each corner of the Keep reached higher still. The uppermost level of the sloping edifice was a labyrinth of gardens, small buildings, waterways and stony trenches which served as thoroughfares between them, like sunken streets. From below it was impossible to see there was anything up here, and Mishani had always borne the assumption that the roof was flat and featureless apart from the temple which was easily visible from anywhere in Axekami. Now she realised she was wrong; it was like a miniature district of the city. Mishani noticed also several squat guard towers around the gardens, and soldiers with rifles watching within.

‘I apologise for all the guards,’ Anais said as they came out into the blinding sunlight. She had noticed Mishani’s furtive glance. ‘The security of Lucia is paramount, especially now.’

‘I understand,’ Mishani said, feeling her throat tighten. She had hidden her package because she had little knowledge of how closely Lucia was guarded, and did not want to risk it being opened and checked. Though it would be a grave insult to imply that she meant the Heir-Empress harm, she did not dare take the chance. She wanted to give her gift to Lucia in secret if possible; but she doubted now that the opportunity would arise.

Anais seemed about to speak, thought better of it, then changed her mind again. ‘I learned that someone had… got close to Lucia recently,’ she intimated. ‘Someone who could have done her harm.’

‘How awful,’ Mishani said, but inside she felt the tension slacken like an exhaled breath. So that was why she was nervous. She did not suspect Mishani.

They came across Lucia in the company of a tall, robed man with a close-cropped white beard. They were standing in a small square that formed a junction between several paths, and were playing some kind of learning game that involved arranging black and white bead-bags in different formations on the flagstones. Trees rustled around them with the activity of squirrels and the stirring of the hot, sluggish air. As the Empress and Mishani arrived, they looked up and bowed in greeting.

‘This is Mishani tu Koli,’ she said to the group at large. ‘And here is Lucia, and Zaelis tu Unterlyn, one of her tutors.’

Zaelis bowed. ‘It’s an honour to meet you, Mistress,’ he said in a throaty bass.

Mishani acknowledged him with a nod, but she had barely taken her eyes off the Heir-Empress since she arrived. Lucia, in turn, was

regarding her steadily with her pale blue, dreamy gaze, an almost fey expression on her face. Her blonde hair stirred in a soft gust of

warm wind.

‘Come and walk with me, Mishani,’ Lucia said suddenly, holding

her hand up.

‘Lucia!’ Anais exclaimed. She had never behaved in such a way before with guests; usually she was the model of politeness. Such an imperative request from a child to an adult was nothing short of impertinent.

‘Lucia, remember your manners,’ Zaelis cautioned.

‘No, it’s quite all right,’ Mishani said. She looked to Anais. ‘May

I?‘

Anais hesitated a moment, caught between her desire to have the child where she could see her and winning over Mishani. In the end, she did the only thing she really could. ‘Of course,’ she

smiled.

Mishani took Lucia’s hand, and it was as if some spark passed between them, a minute current that trembled up Mishani’s arm. Her face creased slightly in puzzlement, but Lucia beamed innocently and led her away from the others down a paved path, across an immaculate lawn bordered by a dense row of tumisi trees, hemmed in from the rest of the gardens.

They walked in silence a short way. Mishani felt a creeping nausea in her stomach. The child next to her seemed only that: a child. Like Kaiku, she was physically unmarred by her Aberrance.

/
am to murder a child
, she thought.
And by the foulest means
imaginable
. It was what she had been thinking ever since her father asked her to do this, but now the reality of the situation crowded in on her and she began to suffocate.

‘You must get tired of seeing people like me,’ she said, feeling the sudden need to talk to distract herself. ‘I expect you have met a lot of nobles over these past weeks.’ It was an inanity, but she felt disarmed and it was all she could find to say.

‘They think I’m a monster,’ Lucia said, her eyes placid. ‘Most of

them, anyway.‘

Mishani was taken aback to hear such words from an eight-harvest child’s mouth.

‘You don’t, though,’ she said, turning her face up to Mishani’s.

She was right. It was different with her than it had been with Kaiku. She could not even consider this child as being Aberrant;

not in the sense that she knew it, anyway. She felt the nausea in her gut become painful.

They turned from the lawn into a shaded nook, where there was a simple wooden bench. Lucia turned them into it and sat down. Mishani sat next to her, smoothing her robe into her lap. They were away from the sight of anyone, but for a single raven perched on a distant wall of the garden, watching them with disconcerting interest.

Mishani felt her control teetering. She had almost hoped the Empress would stay with them, that the opportunity to give Lucia the parcel would not present itself; but the child was unwittingly making it easy for her.

‘I have a gift for you,’ she heard herself say, and her voice sounded distant over the blood in her ears. She felt the package slide free from her sash as she tugged it out, and then it was in her hands. Flat and square, gold-embroidered paper and a deep blue bow.

Lucia looked at it, and then at her. A sudden surge of emotion welled inside Mishani, too fast for her to suppress; she felt her lip quiver as she took a shuddering breath, as if she were about to weep. She forced it down, but it had been an unforgivable breach in her facade. Two years she had been practising the stillness and poise of court, two years of building her mask; but now she felt as a young girl again, and her confidence and poise had fled. She was not as strong as she had thought she was. She flinched and railed at her responsibility.

‘Why are you sad?’ Lucia asked.

‘I am sad…’ Mishani said. ‘I am sad because of the games we play.’

‘Some games are more fun than others,’ Lucia said.

‘And some are more serious than you imagine,’ Mishani answered. She gave the child a strange smile. ‘Do you like your father, the Emperor?’

‘No,’ Lucia replied. ‘He scares me.’

‘So does mine,’ Mishani said quietly.

Lucia was silent for a time. ‘Will you give me my gift?’ she asked.

Mishani’s blood froze. The moment that followed seemed to stretch out agonisingly. A sudden realisation had hit her: that she

was no more prepared now to kill the child than she ever had been. She thought of her father, how proud she had always made him, how he had taught her and how she had loved him.

She shook her head, the tiniest movement. ‘Forgive me,’ she said. ‘I made a mistake. This gift is not for you.’ She slid it back into her

belt.

Lucia gazed at her blankly with her strange, ethereal gaze. Then she slid along the bench and laid her head on Mishani’s shoulder. Mishani, surprised, put her arm around the child.

Do not trust me so
, she thought, burning with shame,
for you do not know what kind of creature I am
.

‘Thank you,’ Lucia whispered, and that destroyed the last of her composure. She felt the swell of tears expand behind her eyes, and then she wept, as she had not wept for years. She cried for Kaiku, and for her father, and for herself and what she had become. She had been so sure, so certain of everything, and yet all the certainties had been shattered. And here was the daughter of the Empress thanking Mishani for choosing not to murder her, and—

She looked up and into Lucia’s eyes, her weeping suddenly arrested. It hit her then. She knew. The child
knew
. And yet Mishani wondered if she would not have taken the gift anyway, and worn it, and died if it were offered. She had the sudden prescience of being at the fulcrum of some terrible balance, that uncounted futures had depended on that single instant of decision.