The Way to Texas (18 page)

“I guess you don't want Dad in our lives at all. But I think he belongs here more than your new boyfriend does. Who, by the way, obviously still has his own family to deal with. His daughter is out of control.”

“Andrew, this isn't about Tyson or his issues. It's about your father. Your dad will always be part of our life, but he and I are over. I don't know how to get that into your head.”

Andrew looked at her with wounded brown eyes. Her stomach dropped, but she wouldn't give in. This time he had to understand.

“What's so bad about Dad? I know he's not all uptight and organized like you, but he's a good guy. Lots of other women seem to appreciate him.”

Dawn wanted to laugh. Boy, did she know that. “Exactly. And that's part of the problem. Look, you're old enough to admit what we've known all along.”

“To admit what? What a bad father Dad is? I don't need to hear you bash him, Mom.”

She rubbed her hands over her face. She needed patience for the task at hand. She let go of her anger and settled on compassion. “Give me a few minutes before you go storming off. Okay?”

Her son's jaw clenched, but he nodded.

Dawn shut the door. It was time to be totally honest with her son. For the first time.

“Sit on the bed.”

She sank onto the soft quilt Nellie's grandmother had made and took her son's hand. He pulled it away, but lowered himself to the edge of the bed.

“You know how I started with your dad, right?”

“You got knocked up, but I was the best thing that ever happened to you.”

Dawn managed a tiny smile. “Told you enough, didn't I?”

He gave a quasi-smile and nodded.

“But it's true. You're the best thing I've ever done. I'm so proud of you and wouldn't trade
getting knocked up
with you for anything,” she said, trying to catch his eye so he could see how much she meant the words. But he wouldn't look at her.

“I've always protected you, Drew. Always made sure you weren't hurt by anyone. I started from the moment you were born and I never stopped. But I think I did you a disservice.”

“Why?” he asked. “That's what parents do. Protect their kids.”

“Sure, that's part of the job. But as I've gotten older, I've realized I protected you too much. You never saw what was right before you.”

“What?” he asked, finally meeting her gaze. It was like looking into her own eyes.

“Your father had no choice but to marry me. Your Poppa Tom made sure of it. It wasn't a good situation for either of us. We really didn't know each other that well, and suddenly we were married, expecting a baby and moving to Texas. Your dad didn't really want me, Andrew. Do you understand?”

“That's not true. He cares about you.”

She shook her head. “Not like I deserve to be cared about. He cares about me because I'm family to him. I took care of him as much as I took care of you.”

Dawn stopped to gather her thoughts. How could she tell him what kind of man his father was? How she spent her nights alone in a strange house while he partied? How she nursed a sick baby while Larry slept, refusing to budge to fetch medicine or take a shift with the howling infant? How could she tell him his father missed his first word, his first steps and his first birthday?

“Okay, I know he cheated on you.”

“Yes,” she said, nodding. So her son knew more than she thought. “He cheated on me for many years. He
didn't want only me. He didn't want to be a husband or a father. He wasn't able to be what we both needed.”

Andrew flinched, then he nodded. “I guess there were times when he took me places then pretended I wasn't there.”

A ping of hurt struck her heart. Larry truly was an asshole. “But that doesn't mean he doesn't love you. He does. And he's proud of you. But there were times when he wasn't available to either of us like he should have been. And I always covered that up.”

“Not always.”

“But most of the time. If he didn't show for your school play, I made up a business appointment he had to attend. If he didn't bother to meet us for dinner, I said he had car trouble. One Christmas he didn't come home until late and I told you he was helping Santa. Truth was I didn't know where he was or who he was with.”

She could feel moisture gathering in her eyes. She had vowed to never shed another tear over Larry the Snake, but this time it wasn't about her feelings. It was about Andrew's.

Her son's hand found hers. “I'm sorry, Mom. I know it was hard on you.”

She lifted her head. “No, I'm the one who's sorry. You deserved better. From him. And from me.”

He shook his head. “But you were always there for me. Even when I was pissed at you for coming down on me, I knew I could count on you. Dad is Dad, you know? I know he's not the one who will help me fill out financial-aid papers or teach me how to iron a shirt. He's not the parent I depend on. He's just…Larry.”

Dawn smiled. “True. But my point isn't to rehash how difficult it was or to bash your dad. My point is…I want
to be happy. I deserve a chance to make a new life for myself.”

Andrew put an arm around her. “I want you to be happy, too. That's why I thought if you got back with Dad, you wouldn't be alone. Y'all seemed to have fun that weekend. It was, like, normal again. Plus, you still have me. And Jack and Nellie. And Poppa Tom and Mere.”

Dawn laughed. “Sure, but you're in school and who knows where you'll be next. And Jack and Nellie are raising a family. And Poppa Tom and Mere are world travelers now. I don't want to be alone. Not anymore.”

Andrew ducked his head. “You think this guy, Tyson, can help you be happy then?”

Dawn wondered that herself. But deep down inside, she knew he could. What they'd shared over the past few weeks had given her hope for a future filled with something more than her day planner and a cup of coffee. She wasn't exactly sure what her future held. But she was pretty sure it would hold Tyson Hart.

If he still wanted her.

“I'm not sure, but I'm not going to run away from the opportunity. I've got to take a chance. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, right?”

She smiled at her beautiful son, who may, just may, have gotten the bigger picture about his mother. She'd like to think he saw her as something more than the woman who folded his underwear.

“I'm sorry, Mom. Sorry for making it so hard on you these past few weeks. And I think I owe Tyson an apology, too. I'll try hard to accept you're growing up.”

She laughed. “Growing up, huh? More like growing old.”

Andrew pulled her closer and kissed her cheek.
“You're still pretty hot for a mom. Better go find Tyson and pry his ex-wife off him. She looked pretty determined.”

She laughed and pressed her finger in his dimple. “You're a pretty good kid, you know?”

“Yeah, you raised me that way.”

T
YSON WANTED TO BE ANYWHERE
but where he stood. Tears trickled down Karen's face, ruining her makeup and making him feel like something on the bottom of his boot.

Which was pretty dumb-ass of him. She was the one who had slept with his business partner. She was the one who filed for divorce. She was the one who plunked herself in the middle of his holiday and time with Laurel.

He shouldn't feel anything other than aggravation.

But, she had been his wife for almost fifteen years even if the swoop of a pen had changed everything. He'd signed and sent the papers to the attorney yesterday afternoon. It was truly over.

“Here, Karen, take this,” he said, pulling a clean handkerchief from his pocket. It had a monogrammed
H
in one corner and had been a gift from his grandfather long ago. Grady still believed in carrying one, a sort of archaic wet wipe. He'd ingrained the habit in his grandson.

“Thank you,” she sniffed, swiping her perfect nose with the clean linen. “You always have one of these.”

And the tears fell all over again.

“I can't believe you've moved on to that woman. What am I going to do without you, Ty?” she asked, wiping dampness from her cheeks. “None of this would have happened if you hadn't gone to Iraq. We'd still be
together, planning our Christmas holiday in Galveston or arguing over what kind of tree we want to buy this year. That damned war.”

Tyson managed a chuckle. “I don't think it was started to inconvenience you, Karen.”

“Well, I know that, but still…” She left off, staring out at the gray clouds on the Texas horizon. “You wouldn't have left.”

“I think we can face we were over long before Iraq. Things were already unraveling.”

She shook her head. “No. We weren't. I still loved you. I mean, I still do love you.”

Tyson shook his head and motioned her to a section of the fence that slumped low enough to lean upon. The November wind chilled him as clouds swooped by overhead. Another front moved through the Texas countryside tasting of snow. In fact, a few flakes skated on the breeze. “I could see what was happening between you and Corbin before I left. It didn't surprise me when I came back and saw I'd been right.”

His ex-wife shrugged. “You weren't there. I couldn't talk to you. I couldn't see you. The brakes on the Lexus would start slipping or Laurel would come home crying about her lost homework…and you weren't there. Corbin was. I didn't mean for it to happen. It just did.”

Tyson swallowed because, even though the pain had faded, his pride was still a man's pride. Karen had betrayed him. So had Corbin, the man who'd been his roommate at the University of North Carolina, the man he'd brought to Texas to form a construction company.

Karen moved beside him. “I can't believe it's snowing.”

Tyson nodded. “Doesn't happen often, does it? But
Mother Nature has been known to scatter some flakes on the Lone Star State.”

Karen huddled in her wool coat and leaned her head against his shoulder. “Sorry, Tyson. I'm sorry I ruined our marriage.”

Tyson didn't make a move to curl an arm around her the way he normally would. Funny, how birdlike she seemed against him, how fragile. That was her problem. She couldn't stand on her own. It was why she'd sought another guy while he wallowed in the grit and heat of the desert thousands of miles away. She couldn't be alone. She was the opposite of his Dawn, who'd fought the world by herself for too long.

“I accept your apology,” he said, patting her shoulder and moving away from her. “And I don't regret our marriage. We had a lot of good times. A lot of laughter.”

“We could try again. You could come home with me and Laurel. We could be a family again. I'll try so hard to make you happy,” she said, regarding him with pleading eyes. “Say yes. Give us one more try.”

“Why are you doing this now? Is it over between you and Corbin?”

She wouldn't look at him. She lifted one shoulder. “I don't know. Maybe.”

Tyson shook his head. “Doesn't matter. It's too late for us, Karen.”

“Why? Because of her?”

Dawn. Like a song in his heart or a blast of warm air to the dank caverns of his soul, Dawn gave him peace. He'd known it from the moment he watched her stride purposefully into the E.R. managing everything for her laboring sister-in-law. She would give him what he so longed for. She would give him a place to rest his head.

“No, Karen, not because of her. If Dawn hadn't come along, the results today would still be the same. You and I are finished.”

He straightened, facing the wind, staring out at a horizon the color of wheat. Pine trees dotted the hills beyond the pasture, giving a Whistleresque landscape to East Texas. Here he felt at home, had always felt at home even as a boy staying only a random year here and there. Oak Stand was where he belonged. And Dawn was who he belonged with. The idea had settled in his bones long ago before he'd given a name to what they shared.

“But she's the reason,” Karen insisted.

“I told you. It's over no matter what.”

Karen stiffened. “But she's nothing close to the kind of woman you like.”

“What? Faithful?”

Karen's blue eyes no longer looked pitiful. They crackled with ire. “That was low.”

“You're right. It was.”

Uncomfortable silence fell between them. He shouldn't have baited Karen. She was right. Dawn wasn't his usual type. She was subtle and competent. He didn't have to rescue her. The only similarity she held to any other woman he'd ever dated was that she was utterly beautiful and sexy.

“Look, Dawn is a good person. She's someone I want to rebuild my life with, though right now it's not looking too easy.”

His ex-wife crumpled against the fence, crossing her arms over her brown cashmere coat. “I thought—” She silently regarded the landscape, seeming lost in thought. “It's really too late, isn't it? You really want her. And you want me out of your life.”

Tyson thought about that. Karen would never be out of his life. She was Laurel's mother, and though she'd tumbled into his friend's bed too easily, she wasn't a horrible person. “No, you'll always be part of my life, Karen. I loved you and you are the mother of my child. I'm not saying it will always be a walk in the park, but it is what it is. We're big people and we've got to act like big people. Our marriage was over the day you went to Corbin's bed. I can't change that and neither can you.”

She nodded. “I guess. I just…I just thought you loved me. That if I said I was sorry we could start over again. I didn't realize you didn't want me anymore.”

Silence fell between them as snowflakes swirled around them.

She shrugged. “Stupid of me. Arrogant, really. I guess I thought I could just snap my fingers and erase what I've done.”

She rose from the fence and stood in front of him. “I never meant to hurt you, Ty. I'm truly sorry. You do deserve to be happy, and if it takes Dawn to do that, then I'll do my best to swallow my pride and step aside. I don't really want to, but I will. And I'll talk to Laurel.”

Karen's lower lip trembled. That same lower lip he'd kissed for fifteen years. Regret washed over him. For a moment, he, too, was sorry they had ended so badly. That Laurel would have a less than ideal family. That the future they'd planned had unwound like a cheap rope, fraying and shedding all over the present.

“Thank you,” he said, gently chucking her on the chin. “I've already accepted your apology, so no more looking to the past. Let's look to the future. We still have a daughter to raise.”

A lone tear slid down Karen's cheek. She nodded. “Thank you, Tyson. Thank you for loving me once.”

He nodded, then pressed a soft farewell kiss against her forehead. It was brief and final. She wrapped her arms around his waist and gave him a squeeze.

And that's when he saw her. Standing as forlorn as a stranded calf, eyes wide, body trembling.

Dawn had witnessed the tender moment. And if her stormy eyes were any indication, he was screwed.

 

Dawn heard him call her name, but she didn't stop. Didn't even toss a look back at where Tyson stood with Karen in his arms.

Her heart felt like it had exploded in her chest and now lay in throbbing bits and pieces.

She was done.

It didn't matter how many king's horsemen or how many king's men showed up. Hell, the whole armed forces of the United States could show up and it wouldn't matter. Her heart would never be put back together again. Because Tyson had finished her.

Once and for all.

Her tennis shoes slapped the hard ground as the questions beat her conscience. Why had she done it? Why had she let him talk her into loving him? Hadn't she known he'd been hurt by his wife? That it hadn't been his choice to end the marriage? It was obvious. He was still in love with Karen.

Damn it. Hadn't she learned men weren't trust worthy? How many times did she have to put herself out there before she caught on that she was destined to be hurt?

She was stupid.

And Tyson was an ass.

“Dawn.” His words pierced the wind. “Wait!”

But she wouldn't. He could go to hell. Or back with Karen. They'd probably be one and the same.

“Dawn, please, it wasn't what it looked like.”

She snorted. Yeah. Right. He hadn't kissed Karen. He hadn't folded the brittle woman into his arms. Dawn had imagined it all. Because she was the idiot.

He grabbed her elbow and pulled her back to him.

“Damn it, Dawn. It wasn't what you think.”

She spun around. “Leave me alone, you lying bastard.”

“What?”

“If you were going back to that cheating bitch, I don't know why you bothered to wreck my life. So stay the hell away from me.” Her heart no longer felt broken down. It beat strong and hard, thumping with anger, with righteous indignation.

“How dare you kiss her right in front of me? On my brother's ranch? How dare you kiss me with those same lips and make me think we had something. You're a liar. You son of a bitch!” All the rejection and hurt she'd felt over the past twenty years came boiling out, lurching loose and rampaging out of control.

He raised his head, his eyes reflecting shock. He really didn't get what he had done, how he'd hurt her. She didn't feel one fleeting moment of guilt. The man deserved to be horsewhipped. He was the worst because he'd given her hope then stole it away like the Grinch tiptoeing into Whoville in the dead of night. Even the smallest crumb of her dreams had been pocketed.

“It wasn't a real kiss. Just one on the—”

“Yeah? That's not how it looked from here.”

She headed up the graveled road. Her eye caught Karen lurking in the background, slowly walking several yards behind, cautiously watching them.

“Dawn,” he called. “At least give me a chance to explain. You owe me that much.”

“I don't owe you a damn thing. Nothing,” Dawn called over her shoulder. “I don't want your fabricated apology. Just go away. And take her with you.”

“That's not fair.”

She spun to face him. If her eyes had been laser beams, he'd be dead already. “I don't give a damn what you think is fair. You talked me into taking a chance with you then you kicked me aside for a woman who cheated on you. She
cheated
on you, Tyson!”

“But I'm not—”

“Just stop. I'm tired of being a doormat for men. You all suck.”

“Fine. Go. Run. It's what you're good at. Jump to conclusions and run away. I just gave you a reason.”

His words made her madder. “
Run away? Jump to conclusions?
You were holding her. It was obvious. My eyes work, Tyson.”

“I know what I was doing. I also know why. You don't, yet you accuse me and storm off without giving me a chance to talk about what happened. It wasn't what you think.” His eyes were as plaintive as a Labrador retriever's. She remembered he'd looked much the same when she'd first met him. Whiskey eyes, lovable grin and warm energy. And idiot that she was, she'd taken him home and scratched his belly. Four times.

“We don't need to talk. Eyes don't lie.” She marched away.

“Fine. I'm tired of chasing you, Dawn. Don't expect me to come after you.”

She wouldn't turn around. No matter what. “I don't expect you to. Nor do I want you to. Just leave me alone.”

“No problem.”

Emotion clogged her throat. She wouldn't cry. She wouldn't show weakness. He didn't deserve it.

She neared the house and saw Larry standing out front, cell phone to his ear. God, she didn't want to talk to him. But his eyes landed on her and he ended his conversation, pocketing his phone. His blue eyes didn't bother to note her obvious distress. Larry never saw what was right before him. His nose, however, looked to be near normal. Still a bit red and puffy, but the ice had worked.

“Hey, I was just coming to look for you. Would you mind giving me a ride back to the motel? I'm not sure I can drive and Andrew went to Marcie's.”

“Why didn't you ask Jack?”

“I didn't think about it.”

“Don't worry. Your nose is fine. You can drive,” she said, not bothering to stop for the conversation. She needed to make it to her room. Had to get there before she lost it in front of everybody. Before everybody knew she'd lost again.

For the third time.

Before everybody gave her those sympathetic looks. Poor Dawn. Lost her man, lost her business, lost her mind. And she was so tired of playing that part. Yet she fell into it every time.

Tyson was supposed to be different.

He wasn't.

It was time to give up for good. Time to think about a future for herself. One that did not include a shadowy male figure lying beside her at night. One that focused on her and her goals and dreams. New goals and dreams. That had nothing to do with anyone but herself.