The War on Witches (10 page)

“Paige!”

“Down in a second!”

Piper paced the living room in the Halliwell Manor. She'd gotten Leo and the kids off to Magic School after a nice, big family breakfast together with Paige and her brood. It was nice to cook for her kids again and spend some quality family time together, but now it was time to get back to Prue before this cult of whatever attacked more witches. Paige had seen her own husband and kids off as well and was taking her own sweet time getting dressed. Honestly, she could have done all that while Piper was making breakfast. They did have Innocents to protect.

“Piper, you're going to wear a hole in the floor,” Phoebe said from the couch. “Sit down. You'll get there.”

“
We'll
get there,” Piper said. “I need you to come along and talk Cole out of going to the Underworld to make contact with his old cronies.”

“Why?” Phoebe asked. “The Elders left him with Prue so that he could help us. Can you think of any better way for him to do that? It's not like we've got much use for an undead former demon. Let him do what he does best.”

Piper shook her head. “Phoebe, you know better than anyone why it would be dangerous for Cole to reconnect with his past.”

“He's a big boy now,” Phoebe replied. “He's got to take care of himself. I've got other responsibilities.”

Piper sat on the edge of the couch. “You really hate him that much? Or are you that afraid to see him again? I thought you'd moved past all this. You were going to try to be friends.”

Phoebe sighed. “The problem is that I don't know what a friendship with Cole is. Do we hang out and catch a baseball game? Do I invite him over for dinner with Coop and the girls? I mourned for Cole and what we had. More than once. I think I've finally moved on.”

“If you'd moved on, you wouldn't have so much of a problem spending time with him,” Paige said as she came down the stairs.

“About time,” Piper said. “Come on. Take us to Prue's. We can deal with all of this one problem at a time.”

“No,” Paige replied.

“Again with the no,” Piper said. “We did what you said. We took the night off. And you were right. My kids were starting to forget what I looked like. It was great getting to read them bedtime stories, even when they kept wanting to hear the same one over and over. So, thank you for that. And I'm sure Leo wants to thank you as well. But they're all at school and daycare now and in case you haven't noticed, we've got a job to do.”

“You're one to talk about jobs,” Paige said, refusing to back down. “Halliwell's needs you too. As important as your family is, you've got more of a life here than just them. So, here's what we're going to do:
I'm
taking this bottle of magical herbs to Prue's, where the two of us will work together to figure out what it is. Phoebe, you and Cole are going to the Underworld to see if you can find out about this book—or
books,
seeing as how they've shown up in three different cities so far. We need to know what it is, why humans can control it, and how it works with these herbs. I'd also like to know who's in charge here. I'm assuming it's the guy with the gun. What family did he descend from? Or is he someone else entirely? Or some
thing?
”

“But—”

Paige held up a hand. “No. We can't send Cole off down there alone. If he shows up in the Underworld with a Charmed One, no one is going to talk to him. But if that Charmed One is his former wife, maybe he can convince some demons he's managed to sway you back to the dark side or whatever. It's our best shot.”

“Me and Cole on a trip to the Underworld,” Phoebe said. “What could possibly go wrong?”

“Prue's waiting,” Piper reminded her.

“So's your restaurant,” Paige replied. “Piper, I'm doing the best I can in your absence, but there are some things I just can't handle. Like your obnoxious line cook. You need to take at least an hour to check in. Your employees are also forgetting what you look like. If there's any emergency, I'll orb you where we need you to be. Until then, you've got to deal with your life. Prue's a big girl too. She'll manage without you for the morning. Or evening. I guess it's evening there. Well, whatever. We'll be fine.”

Piper looked like she wanted to argue, but she didn't say anything. Paige took that as an agreement. She grabbed Phoebe by the hand and started orbing before her sisters could change their minds.

“Sprinkle a tablespoon of herbs into the cauldron,” Prue said as she busied herself gathering items from the shelves in the small room. “I know the perfect spell we can use to figure out the ingredients.”

“Consider it done.” Paige didn't see a measuring spoon readily available, but she'd spent enough time around real chefs in a functioning kitchen that she was familiar with how it was done. She'd just pour it into her hand. That was how the professionals did it.

Paige opened the bottle and started to pour, but jerked her hand away as the first sparkle of herbs was about to land in her palm. Perhaps herbs with the power to steal magic from witches were not something she wanted to touch. She settled on pouring a bit directly into the cauldron and stopping when it looked to be the correct amount.

Paige was relieved to see that Prue was still busy examining the shelves and hadn't caught her near-boneheaded move. The last thing she needed was for the sister she'd only recently met to think she was an idiot. “Piper was right,” Paige said. “This stuff does smell like oregano.”

It was strange. Paige had been a witch for years now. Far longer than Prue had been aware of her own powers while she was alive, in fact. And yet she felt like a novice in her sister's presence.

It wasn't anything that Prue had done to make her feel that way. Far from it, actually. Prue had been incredibly welcoming. She even renounced her claim on the Power of Three so that Paige could remain in her rightful place. It was just that it had been hard enough years back for Paige to go from being an only child to having siblings. She wondered if she'd ever grow accustomed to this ever-expanding family of theirs.

“I like what you've done with the place,” Paige said, carefully placing the cap back on the bottle. “It feels more like you here than when it looked like the Manor. I mean, it feels like I always imagined you, if that makes sense.”

Prue returned to the table with her arms full of items. “One of my biggest regrets was never meeting you before I died. Well, not formally. I understand you stalked us at P3 before introducing yourself to Piper and Phoebe.”

“
Stalked
is such a loaded term,” Paige said. “I prefer
observed.
It's more scientific and less felonious.”

“Gotcha.” Prue carefully laid out the items on the table and handed Paige a bottle of blue liquid. “Pour half of this into the cauldron while I cut the stems off these flowers.”

“Good thing you ignored the rules and came back to Earth,” Paige said. “Or else I may never have gotten to meet you. Well, not until I died myself.”

Prue carefully chopped at the stems. “Yes, this is much better than meeting in the afterlife.”

“You know what I mean,” Paige said as Prue dropped three flowers into the potion.

“I'm just giving you a hard time,” Prue said. “That's what big sisters do.”

“Tell me about it,” Paige said. “You're the third big sister I have now. Though you're not nearly as crazy as the other two.”

“Oh, I have my moments.” Prue sat on the floor beside Paige. “That's it for the ingredients. Now we just have to wait for it to boil. The herbs will separate and rise out of the cauldron individually. Then it's just a matter of cataloging them to figure out what's in the concoction.”

“Sounds easy enough,” Paige said as she leaned back. “This is much more fun than dealing with all the drama at Halliwell's.”

“I take it restaurant work isn't your dream job?” Prue asked.

“Not at all,” Paige said.

“Do you have a dream job?” Prue asked. “It seems like between Magic School and your Whitelighter charges, you're more involved with the magic than Piper and Phoebe. You can't forget to have your own life in all this.”

“I work a couple days at Social Services,” Paige said. “But I finally think I've settled into my dream job. I really enjoy being a Whitelighter. I like teaching a new generation of magic users how to control their powers.”

“Sounds like fate.”

“What do you want to do?” Paige asked. “If you weren't stuck here, I mean. What would you like to be doing?”

“Honestly?” Prue asked. “I kind of like just being here to help you all. When I was alive I did have some fun jobs and fulfilling hobbies. But nothing was more important to me than working together with my sisters. Fighting demons. Protecting Innocents. If I have to be stuck here, at least I still get to do what I love. Even though my role may be in a more limited capacity.”

“Limited or not, I appreciate it,” Paige said as the contents of the cauldron started to bubble. “Piper and Phoebe do as well. We managed to take on the forces of evil pretty well when there were three of us. Just imagine how kickass we're going to be with four.”

No matter how many times Phoebe visited the Underworld, she was always surprised that it wasn't hotter. It was often a bit warmer than San Francisco—and some spots were downright hellish—but overall the climate was quite manageable. Nothing like she'd been raised to believe back when she thought it was a fictional place like Narnia or Disneyworld. (Since Grams could never afford the trip with the three girls, Phoebe spent the first ten years of her life believing the amusement park was entirely a fantasyland. It was only one of many harmless lies their Grams told them growing up.)

“I don't get why we're still doing this if we already know we're dealing with humans,” Phoebe said as her eyes adjusted to the dim light of the caverns. “What do you think we can learn from some demons?”

“That book they're using had to come from somewhere,” Cole replied. “It's unusual for humans to be able to wield that kind of power. But you know that already. So the question is—why are you asking?”

“Oh, I don't know,” Phoebe said. “Maybe a trip to the Underworld with you wasn't supposed to be on my itinerary today.”

“Brings back memories, doesn't it?” Cole asked.

“Not good ones.”

They walked in awkward silence, beside one another, but not really together. Phoebe hadn't been to the Underworld in a while. There hadn't been too many reasons for a trip down since she'd had her kids. It wasn't like life had been boring in the past few years, but the problems she and her sisters had to deal with were more earthly issues. And some time was spent Up There as well. But her trips to the land below had become fewer and farther between more recently. She could honestly say she didn't miss it. “Where are we going, anyway?”

“To visit an old friend,” Cole replied.

“
Friend?
”

“Demons have friends,” Cole said. “Well, more like alliances. But still, Eleazar is the demon least likely to kill us down here, so I figured he'd be a good place to start.”

“Yes, the less homicidal the demon, the better,” Phoebe replied.

“He's a sorcerer, actually,” Cole said.

“
Demonic
sorcerer,” Phoebe reminded him.

“He doesn't like it when people focus on that first part.”

Cole led her through cave after cavern that all looked the same. She'd never find her way back out on her own, which didn't matter since she couldn't teleport home without Cole anyway. Cole had lost most of his demonic powers long ago, but he could still teleport himself and others when it was necessary. Even when it wasn't necessary.

After several twists and turns they came to a door. It wasn't the typical door one found in the Underworld. It wasn't imposing metal or enormous wood with an old brass knocker. The door looked to be made out of fiberglass, with an etched glass window, covered by lace curtains on the inside. It was the kind of door one might find in the suburbs, possibly in the center of a cul-de-sac or some other upper-middle-class residential area. Phoebe gave Cole the side-eye as he rang the doorbell.

A high-pitched male voice called through the door. “Just a minute!”

Phoebe shook her head. This was the strangest thing she'd encountered in the Underworld. And she was once its queen.

When the door opened, things got even weirder.

The man that opened the door was wearing a smoking jacket and silk pajama pants. He looked to be older, possibly around retirement age, though it was likely he was centuries beyond that. On Earth, he'd be easily mistaken for a kindly old man—maybe a little eccentric from the way he was dressed—but there was nothing to indicate he was either demonic or a sorcerer by the way he carried himself.

“Cole!” He practically squealed with delight. “I heard you were dead! But then again, most of the rabble down here are long past their own expiration dates.”

“I was for a time,” Cole replied. “But I'm back for now.”

“So wonderful to see you again.” The sorcerer grabbed Cole's hand and shook it vigorously. “And who is this lovely lady? Just back from the dead and already dating again?”

“I've been back a while now,” Cole said as he allowed his hand to be pumped far longer than common custom allowed. “But this isn't a date. You remember me telling you about Phoebe?”

The sorcerer released Cole's hand. Now he did let out an inhuman squeal of excitement. “
This
is the missus.”

“
Former
missus,” Phoebe said, keeping her hands locked by her sides.

The sorcerer threw himself at her, pulling her into an uncomfortable hug. “Former, current, future . . . family is family.”

Phoebe glared at Cole over the sorcerer's shoulder. The glare intensified when she saw that he was holding back a laugh. Poorly.

She tried to gently pry herself out of the sorcerer's clutches. “It's nice to meet you . . . ?”

“Eleazar,” the sorcerer said. “Although Cole really should have introduced us formally. That boy never did have any manners.”

“Tell me about it,” Phoebe replied as Eleazar ushered her inside, where
strange
took on new meaning.

Eleazar's lair was decorated in much the same fashion as Piper's neighbor Mrs. Javitz had used in her house next door to the Manor. Oriental rugs on the floor, antique furniture covered in plastic, and tacky knickknacks covered every surface. It even smelled of mothballs and cats, like Mrs. Javitz's home, though there was no sign of an actual feline. The furniture looked completely out of place next to the stone cavern walls surrounding them.

“What an
interesting
place you have,” Phoebe said with forced enthusiasm.

Eleazar clapped his hands together in excitement, taking her comment as praise. “Don't you love it? It's taken me forever to collect my treasures, but they just make this place ever so homey.” He lovingly stroked a ceramic statue of a dog with overly large eyes and then waved for his guests to sit down.

“That they do,” Phoebe said over the sound of the plastic seat covers moaning as she took a seat on the couch.

“Candy?” Eleazar held out a crystal bowl filled with hard candies covered in a sheen of dust that suggested it had been a very long time since the sorcerer had his last guest.

“Oh, I'm good,” Phoebe said. “Cutting back on sugar.”

“They're sugar free,” Eleazar replied, holding the bowl ever closer.

Phoebe leaned back into the plastic-covered couch as if she were trying to get away from the candies. The look of hurt in Eleazar's eyes—mixed with something that seemed a bit more dangerous—suggested to Phoebe that it was in her best interest to take a treat. “Thanks,” she said, grabbing a butterscotch drop wrapped in cellophane. “I'll save it for after lunch.”

Eleazar perked up immediately. “Lunch! Are you staying for lunch? I can slice up some crudités for you to enjoy while I whip up some cucumber salad. I just went to the farmers' market and I am positively loaded down with locally grown vegetables.”

“Locally grown?” Phoebe asked, skeptically. She tried to hide her glance at the stone cavern walls.

“Thank you so much, Eleazar,” Cole jumped in. “But we just came from breakfast and couldn't eat another bite.”

“Of course, of course,” Eleazar said. “You've been time-zone hopping, I see. Not good on the system to do that too much.” He turned to Phoebe. “If you cut back on the travel, I'm sure you'll see a positive effect on those bags under your eyes.”

“I'll keep that in mind,” Phoebe said through clenched teeth. She seriously doubted that she'd be doing any time-zone hopping now, seeing the look of enjoyment on Cole's face. Still, she didn't want to upset Eleazar. No telling what a demonic sorcerer could do, especially one that got easily offended for breaking etiquette. “Cole?”

The former demon flashed her a smile and then got down to business. “Eleazar, we were hoping that you might have some information, considering how tuned in you are to the demon grapevine.”

Eleazar sat up bolt straight and clapped his hands together in excitement. “Oh yes, the reason you've come to visit after ignoring me for all these years.”

“I was kind of dead,” Cole reminded him.

“I receive dead, undead, and nearly dead guests all the time,” Eleazar said brightly. “A lack of life is no excuse for a lack of breeding.”

“So true,” Phoebe said. “I swear sometimes I feel like he's still possessed by a demon.”

“Oh no, Belthazor was ever so much more polite,” Eleazar said. “Even with all that unpleasant murder and mayhem, he always took the time for tea.”

Phoebe eyed Cole. She was going to have to repay him someway for this fascinating visit to the Underworld. Possibly she'd take him Up There to spend the afternoon with Grams. That woman would make sure he had as unpleasant a time as possible. “Yes, well, you'll forgive me if I don't miss him,” Phoebe said. “Anyway, we've heard about this—”

“Cole, Cole, Cole,” Eleazar interrupted. “Perhaps you didn't explain to the young lady the price for information here.”

“Price?” Phoebe asked.

“Nothing much,” Eleazar said. “Just a little quid pro quo. The demon grapevine must be fed like any plant. And, as you know, down here we don't get all that much sunlight.”

Phoebe looked to Cole questioningly. She had no idea what the sorcerer wanted.

“Gossip,” Cole said. “He's looking for gossip.”

“About us?” Phoebe asked.

Eleazar laughed. “Oh, no, no, no. You and Cole are old news. So last decade.”

“Then what do you want?” Phoebe asked.

“Prue,” Eleazar said. “I want to know about your sister. How is she enjoying life on the Nexus of the All?”

“You want to know about Prue?” Phoebe asked. “Why?”

Eleazar let out a sputtering laugh. “
Why?
A Charmed One returns from the dead in a new body only to renounce her claim to the Power of Three and set up shop at the magical Nexus that unites the realms? The only
why
I have to know is
why
is that even a question? Your sister is the talk of the Underworld. And I want to be the one with the scoop. So”—he leaned forward—“tell.”

Phoebe took a breath. There was no way she was going to tell some demonic sorcerer her sister's personal business. It would not only be a huge invasion of privacy, but she wasn't about to give him anything that he could use against her family in the future. It was impossible to fathom what he could glean from even the most innocuous facts since Prue was almost literally living in the unknown. Even the most harmless little piece of information could have far-reaching implications somewhere down the line. It was just too dangerous.

As true as that was, none of it was the real reason Phoebe was reluctant to share.

“I have to be honest,” Phoebe said. “I don't really know anything.”

“Oh, come now,” Eleazar laughed. “Do you truly expect me to believe that? You can't tell me even the teensiest bit of something to tide me over until the whole story comes out? A tiny morsel of gossip? A soupçon, really, is all that I ask.”

“She's redecorating?” Phoebe offered. The place didn't look like the Manor anymore when she'd popped by that morning. She hadn't asked why, but it wasn't too hard to figure out.

“I'll give her the name of my designer,” Eleazar deadpanned. “If you want my assistance, you're going to need something more.” His tone had turned more serious. His voice had dropped along with it.

Phoebe gave Cole a pleading glance. She didn't know what to say.

“Or perhaps you aren't stonewalling me,” Eleazar said. “Perhaps you don't know what's happening with your sister. Would there possibly be a reason that you have not been out to visit her as often as you might?” He threw a meaningful glance in Cole's direction. “Maybe there is some interesting gossip to be had concerning the two of you?”

The answer to that one was more complicated than his question about Prue. Yes, it was true that Phoebe was avoiding Cole, but not for the reason the sorcerer was likely thinking. Either way, she wasn't about to share
that
with him either.

“How about something else in trade for the information?” Cole offered before Phoebe could say anything. “Something better than trivial gossip.”

“Gossip is never trivial,” Eleazar huffed. “But I'd be lying if I said my interest wasn't piqued to think of what
you
could have to offer me.”

“Dinner,” Cole said.

“You're not my type,” Eleazar said, eyeing Phoebe in a way that made her even more uncomfortable.

“Not a date,” Cole said. “A dinner. Prepared by one of the finest chefs in any realm at one of the hottest restaurants in San Francisco.”

Eleazar smiled as he realized where this was going. “Halliwell's? A restaurant owned by a Charmed One?”

“Think about it,” Cole said conspiratorially. “A de . . . a
resident
of the Underworld as a welcome guest in the most notable restaurant ever in the battle of good versus evil. A full tasting menu at your fingertips. Why, I'd hazard a guess that your review of the place could get more hits than that time the seer Jazmeen uploaded the Demonic Codex.”

Eleazar huffed. “That attention whore. How
dare
you mention her name in my presence.”

“Oh, she's the worst,” Phoebe jumped in. “Piper would
never
let that seer set foot in her restaurant. But for a sorcerer who paid us a small favor of some minor information . . .”

Eleazar grinned as he considered the offer. “Done! Now, what is it you need to know?”