The War of the Jewels (29 page)

$303. In GA Brandir's foreboding concerning Turambar came upon him after he had heard 'the tidings that Dorlas brought', and therefore knew who it was that lay on the bier; whereas in NE

(p. 111) his foreboding is more prophetic and less 'rational' (see Unfinished Tales p. 111 and note 21). In NE Turambar 'laid his black sword by' in response to Brandir's warning (p. 112), but this is lost in GA.

$305. The new narrative is here further developed from Q (IV.128), where 'Thingol yielded so far to the tears and entreaties of Morwen that he sent forth a company of Elves toward Nargothrond to explore the truth. With them rode Morwen...'; now she rides forth alone and the Elves are sent after her. Nienor's motive in joining the Elvish riders in disguise is now more complex; and Mablung, entirely absent from the story in Q (and AB 2), enters the narrative.

There is a very great reduction in GA of the elaborate story told in NE (pp. 112 - 16), but the narrative structure is the same (the flight of Morwen followed by the company led by Mablung). In NE

Thingol already had the idea of sending out a party to Nargothrond, independently of Morwen's wish to go.

In Q it seems certain that Nienor's presence was never revealed to the company, including Morwen (see my remarks, IV.185). The discovery of her at the passage of the Twilit Meres is not mentioned in GA, but that she was at some point revealed is implied by the words 'But Morwen... would not be persuaded' (i.e. by the presence of Nienor); and Nienor was set with Morwen on the Hill of Spies.

The condensation in the Annals of the story in NE here produces some obscurity, and in the passage in The Silmarillion (p. 217) corresponding to this paragraph I made use of both versions (and also Q), although at the time I misunderstood the relations between them.

The reference in NE (p. 114) to the hidden ferries at the Twilit Meres, not mentioned before, is lost in GA. In NE the sentence 'for by that way messengers would pass to and fro between Thingol and his kin in Nargothrond' continues in the manuscript 'ere the victory of Morgoth' (i.e. at Tumhalad), and these last words were changed to 'ere the death of Felagund'. This was omitted in the published text, in view of the later reference (Unfinished Tales p. 153) to the close relations of Orodreth with Menegroth: 'In all things

[Orodreth] followed Thingol, with whom he exchanged messengers by secret ways'.

There appears here (in both versions) the Elvish name Amon Ethir of the Hill of Spies (the Spyhill, NE), and also (in NE only) its origin, which has never been given before: 'a mound as great as a hill that long ago Felagund had caused to be raised with great labour in the plain before his Doors'. In both versions it is a league from Nargothrond; in Q (IV.128) it was 'to the east of the Guarded Plain', but Morwen could see from its top the issuing of Glaurung.

On the first map (following p. 220 in Vol.IV) it seems to be a long way east, or north-east, of Nargothrond (though 'Hill of Spies' is named on the map it is not perfectly clear where it is, IV.225); on the second map it is not named, but if it is the eminence marked on square F 6 (p. 182) it was likewise a long way from Nargothrond (about 15 leagues).

$306. 'But Glaurung was aware of all that they did': where NE

(p. 117) says of Glaurung that his eyes 'outreached the far sight of the Elves' a rejected form of the passage has the notable statement:

'Indeed further reached the sight of his fell eyes than even the eyes of the Elves (which thrice surpass those of Men).' Also, where it is said in NE that Glaurung 'went swiftly, for he was a mighty Worm, and yet lithe', there followed in the manuscript, but placed in brackets later, 'and he could go as speedily as a man could run, and tire not in a hundred leagues.'

$307. 'Thus the ladies were lost, and of Morwen indeed no sure tidings came ever to Doriath after': so also in NE at a later point (p. 121): 'Neither then nor after did any certain news of her fate come to Doriath or to Dor-lomin', but against this my father wrote an X in the margin of the typescript. In NE the passage (p. 118) describing how one of the Elf-riders saw her as she disappeared into the mists crying Nienor replaced the following: After a while Morwen passed suddenly out of the mists, and near at hand there were two of the elf-riders; and whether she would or no her horse bore her with them swiftly away towards Doriath.

And the riders comforted her, saying: 'You must go in our keeping. But others will guard your daughter. It is vain to tarry.

Fear not! For she was mounted, and there is no horse but will make best speed away from the dragon-stench. We shall meet her in Doriath.'

This is another example of the precedence of NE as first written over GA; for this rejected text was apparently following the old story of Q (IV.128), that Morwen returned to Doriath. - In Q Nienor, whose presence was never revealed (see commentary on $305), did not go to the Hill of Spies with Morwen, but met with the Dragon on the banks of the Narog.

In the passage in NE (p. 118) describing the eyes of Glaurung when Nienor came face to face with him on the hill-top, the words

'they were terrible, being filled with the fell spirit of Morgoth, his master' contain an editorial alteration: the manuscript reads 'the fell spirit of Morgoth, who made him' (cf. IV.128). My father underlined the last three words in pencil, and faintly and barely legibly at the foot of the page he noted: 'Glaurung must be a demon [??contained in worm form].' On the emergence at this time of the view that Melkor could make nothing that had life of its own see X.74, 78.

$$309-12. There is a further great development in this passage (condensed from NE, pp. 119-21), following the enspelling of Nienor. There enters now Mablung's exploration of the deserted halls of Nargothrond; his discovery of Nienor on Amon Ethir in the early night; the meeting with the three other Elves of Mablung's company; the secret entrance into Doriath near the inflowing of Esgalduin; the attack by Orcs as they slept, and the slaying of the Orcs by Mablung and his companions; the flight of Nienor naked; and Mablung's return to Doriath and subsequent three-year-long search for Morwen and Nienor. In Q there is none of this; and it was Turambar with a party of the woodmen who slew the Orcs that pursued Nienor (IV.128 - 9).

$310. Where GA has 'the secret gate' into Doriath near the inflowing of Esgalduin into Sirion, NE (p. 120) has 'the guarded bridge'. A bridge is indeed more to be expected than a gate, for the West-march of Doriath, Nivrim, was within the Girdle of Melian (V.261 - 2).

$312. Similarly in the manuscript of NE, after 'until she went naked'

(p. 121), the words 'but for the short elven-kirtle above the knee that she had worn in her disguise' were bracketed for exclusion.

$317. The falls of Celebros. In NE the passage beginning 'In the morning they bore Niniel towards Ephel Brandir' (pp. 122 - 3) replaced an earlier text, as follows:

In the morning they bore Niniel towards Ephel Brandir. Now there was a fair place on the way, a green sward amid white birches. There a stream leaping down from Amon Obel to find its way to the Taiglin went over a lip of worn stone, and fell into a rocky bowl far below, and all the air was filled with a soft spray, in which the sun would gleam with many colours. Therefore the woodmen called those falls Celebros, and loved to rest there a while.

The name Celebros first appeared in Q, 'the Falls of Silver-bowl' >

'the Falls of Celebros, Foam-silver', and the falls were in the Taiglin (see IV.129 and note 14). In GA the falls are still called Celebros, as in the passage just cited from NE from which it derives, but as in that passage my father would obviously have now placed them in the tributary stream falling down from Amon Obel towards the Taiglin.

In the NE manuscript, however, the passage was rewritten, and it is the rewritten text that stands in Unfinished Tales pp. 122 - 3: 'In the morning they bore Niniel towards Ephel Brandir, and the road went steeply upward towards Amon Obel until it came to a place where it must cross the tumbling stream of Celebros', &c. Thus Celebros becomes the name of the tributary stream, and in the continuation of this rewritten passage the falls themselves become Dimrost, the Rainy Stair. This change was not entered on the text of GA, but was incorporated in The Silmarillion (p. 220).

On the curious matter of the use in both versions of the name Nen Girith 'Shuddering Water' as if it were due to the fact of Niniel's fit of shuddering when she first came there, rather than to the prophetic nature of that shuddering whose meaning was not seen until she and Turambar were dead, see IV.186-7, where I discussed it fully.

$318. In Q (IV.129) it was said here that Brandir yielded the rule of the woodmen to Turambar (see commentary on $$301 - 3), and that

'he was ever true to Turambar; yet bitter was his soul when he might not win the love of Niniel.' This is not said in GA (or NE); but on the other hand there was nothing in Q about Niniel's delaying of the marriage, nor of Brandir's seeking to restrain her on account of his forebodings, nor yet of Brandir's revealing to her who Turambar was - indeed in Q, as I have mentioned (commentary on $$301-3), there is no indication that the woodmen knew his identity.

In NE, following the story in Q, the first draft of the passage begins: 'Turambar asked her in marriage, and she went to him gladly, and at the midsummer they were wed, and the woodmen made a great feast for them' (see NE pp. 124 - 5). In a second stage Brandir counselled Niniel to wait, but did not tell her that Turambar was Turin son of Hurin: that entered with a further revision to the manuscript. GA has this final form. In NE (p. 125), however, Turambar's displeasure with Brandir was at his counsel of delay: in GA it was (apparently) at Brandir's revelation to Niniel of his identity. - The motive of Niniel's delaying of the marriage goes back to the Tale (II.102): she delayed him, saying nor yea nor no, yet herself she knew not why'.

$$322-5. Following the words in NE (p. 129) 'the tale of the scouts that had seen [Glaurung] had gone about and grown in the telling'

the text as originally written continued:

Then Brandir who stood [before his house in the open place of Ephel Brandir >] nigh spoke before them and said: 'I would fain come with thee, Captain Black Sword, but thou wouldst scorn me. Rightly. But

This was changed immediately to the text printed, with Dorlas'

crying scorn on Brandir, who sat 'unheeded', 'in the high-seat of the lord of the assembly'.

Up to this point, drafting for the manuscript of NE consists of little more than scribbled slips. From here on, however, there are in effect two manuscripts: one (which I shall refer to as 'the draft manuscript') being the continuation of the original, which became so chaotic with rewriting that my father subsequently copied it out fair. The draft manuscript in this part of the narrative has much interest as showing my father's development of the story from the form it had reached in Q (IV.129 - 30).

The words given in NE to Brandir's kinsman Hunthor (Torbarth in GA) were given first to Brandir, speaking in self-defence:

'Thou speakest unjustly, Dorlas. How can it be said that my counsels were vain, when they were never taken? And I say to thee that Glaurung comes now to us, as to Nargothrond before, because our deeds have bewrayed us to him, as I feared. But the son of Handir asketh none to take his place at need. I am here and will gladly go. The less loss of a cripple unwedded than of many others. Will not some stand by me, who have also less care to leave behind?'

Then five men came and stood by him. And Turambar said:

'That is enough. These five I will take. But, lord, I do not scorn thee, and any who do so are fools. But see! We must go in great haste...'

[$$322-5]

This follows, in structure, the story in Q, where 'six of his boldest men begged to come with him'. In the draft manuscript 'Turambar with Dorlas and their five companions took horse and rode away in haste to Celebros'; and when later Turambar crossed the Taiglin (NE p. 133), 'in the deep dark he counted his following. They were four. "Albarth fell," said Dorlas, "and Taiglin took him beyond aid.

The other two, I deem, were daunted, and skulk now yonder."'

Albarth, who here first appears, seems to have been first written Albard.

The draft manuscript continues:

Then after a rest they that remained climbed, foot by foot, up the steep slope before them, till they came nigh the brink. There so foul grew the reek that their heads reeled, and they clung to the trees as best they could. The night was now passing, but there was a flicker above them as of smouldering fires, and a noise of some great beast sleeping; but if he stirred the earth quivered.

Dawn came slowly; and its glimmer came to Turambar as he strove with dark dreams of dread in which all his will had been given only to clinging and holding, while a great tide of blackness had sucked and gnawed at his limbs. And he woke and looked about in the wan light, and saw that only Dorlas remained by him.