The War of Gods (A Welcome to the Underworld Novel, Book 3) (61 page)

“God, this wasn’t supposed to happen.”

Yoori could’ve sworn she heard Tae Hyun say this, but the knowledge of whether he voiced this or not was lost when he picked her up and threw her onto the soft bed. His desperate lips continued to seek her aching ones. He leaned on his elbows while she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him down to her. Even under the confines of the suit, she could still feel his hard muscles ripple underneath the expensive fabric, every nerve of his enticing body bunching in approval of her touch.

A multitude of emotions stampeded over her, yet the forerunners were the love and pain she felt while he kissed her. There was so much hopelessness and ardor in his kiss that it broke her. In that moment, she could feel his frustration, his unsounded desperation, and worse of all—his heartache.

Tae Hyun did not kiss her like she was worth nothing to him; he kissed her like she was worth
everything to him. He kissed her like a man who was about to lose everything.

Unable to maintain her composure, Yoori finally permitted her emotions to wash out with his. She desperately kissed him and held on
to him. She didn’t allow tears to fall, yet inwardly, she was crying like there was no tomorrow.

“I’m sorry,” Yoori uttered through her misery. She opened her eyes. “I’m so sorry about what she did
—what I did.”

He moved his lips to her collarbone, traced kisses up the column of her neck, and then kissed the soft skin of her chin, as if apologizing for even daring to place a gun there.

Tae Hyun did not say anything while she spoke, but she could feel the torture he felt while her words came over him. She could feel the lingering ache in his fading kisses, yet he continued to hold her close to him. It was as though he was savoring the sensation of loving her body one last time.

“Anyone else can punish me for what Soo Jin did, but please don’t punish me. Please don’t punish me for things I can’t control
.
Please don’t leave me over this,” she begged breathlessly, knowing what he was doing while he kissed her like a man possessed.

He was letting her go.

He was using this moment as the last one to remember her by and he was letting her go.

It was a kiss between fire and water, one that exploded with passion and one that would fade into nothing but heartache once the flames died out.

“
Please,” she begged, unable to fathom going through the rest of her days without her partner-in-crime by her side. Who was she going to bicker with? Who was she going to laugh with? Who would she joke around and wear handcuffs with? Who else would be there and talk to her from night until midmorning? Who else would hold her in his arms and make her feel like it was the safest place in the world to be? Who else would steal her heart if he already had every inch of it?

“Please, Snob,” she whispered in a broken voice, never wanting to lose the one person who made her love her life so much. “
Please don’t do this to us.”

At her plea, Tae Hyun stopped kissing her.

He no longer allowed himself to be lost in the moment.

She felt him exhale excruciatingly after hearing her use his nickname. Agonized and torn with himself, Tae Hyun refused to make eye contact with her while he nuzzled his cheek against the side of her neck like a brokenhearted wolf.

His breath lingered on her skin.

Tae Hyun did not speak, but she could hear his words and feel his pain by the way he breathed. He did not want to kill her, nor did he have the heart to hurt her. Yet, what saddened her was the fact that despite all of this, despite his feelings for her and regardless of how much pain he felt,
he was still leaving her.

Then, what killed her more was the fact that when he pressed his cheek against her neck, she could feel a single teardrop transfer over from his skin to hers. Yoori began to shake. Every nerve in her body screamed out in tears at the thought of him, the revered King of the Underworld, the chosen God of this ruthless society, finally becoming human for her.

She lost it as well.

Tae Hyun would only cry if he lost someone he loved. She imagined he had only cried three times in his life
—once for his father’s death, once for his mother’s death, and once for his brother’s death. And now, the fourth time was for her; because even after becoming human for her, he had to become a God again and give her up.

Yoori lost it and allowed her tears to run free. She cried for herself, she cried for him, she cried for them, and she cried for everything they stood to lose because they fell for each other. She cried because it was evident he had made his decision.

“
. . .
Find someone else, Yoori,” he said long moments later, confirming her worst fears. He lifted himself up while finally staring into her eyes. “Go somewhere where no one knows you, find a man who has no connections to the Underworld, be with him, marry him, have a family with him, and lead the life you were always meant to lead—a long, safe
. . .
and happy one.”

The ache in his voice from knowing that he couldn’t be this man for her tortured Yoori.

“I don’t want anyone else,” she argued desperately, feeling like he was ripping her heart from her chest. “I want you. I only want you.”

Tae Hyun did not say anything when she voiced this. He merely stared at her, a million different emotions plaguing his features. There was unbridled grief in his gaze; it was one that mirrored every inch of hers. The only difference was that there were no remnants of tears in his eyes. He had kissed her to hide his pain; he had kissed her until his own tears dried before he allowed his wounded gaze to meet hers.

Then slowly, reluctantly, he brought a hand to her cheek and caressed it with his fingers, relishing in the feel of her warm skin before the end.

“Kang Min and Jae Won are waiting for you beside the elevator,” Tae Hun finally said, swallowing tightly while pulling his hand from the warmth of her cheek.

“No! Don’t do this!” Yoori cried, getting up with him while trying to grab his arm. She couldn’t let him leave. Oh God, how could she let him leave like this?

“Once you leave, never contact me again,” he continued, closing his eyes in brief pain while whipping his arm away from her grasp. “We’re done.”

He was heading for the door when she broke apart and finally shouted out, “You told me that it would be worth it!”

Tae Hyun paused in his position at her scream.

His back was faced toward her, and it was clear he was listening to every word.

Yoori went on, never feeling more broken as she stood beside the bed, hot tears embellishing her eyes.

“I told you I didn’t want to be with you because I knew it wasn’t going to be easy, but you told me it would be worth it!”

Pain rippled through her while she shook and shook. This wasn’t how it was supposed to end. They were supposed to be stronger than this. They were supposed to fight through this. They were supposed to make it through this.

“How could you do this now? How could you give up on us after all that you promised me?”

“I was a fool then,” Tae Hyun answered her, his voice softer and more miserable than she had ever heard it. “I should’ve never told you that I would never fault you for the things Soo Jin did when I didn’t know that my own mother was murdered by her. I should’ve never promised you the world when I’m bound by the laws of
this world—by the laws of my gang—to avenge my family if anyone dares to kill them. I should’ve never told you that it would be worth it when I didn’t know how impossible it was going to be.”

He lowered his head and stared at the ground, misery enveloping the powerful aura that continued to radiate from him.

“No matter how much I try to tell myself that you and Soo Jin are completely separate entities, I know deep down that you’re one in the same. This couldn’t have been more obvious with how you acted at the warehouse, when you fought Jin Ae. This couldn’t have been more obvious when we came back to the apartment and you began to stare at me like I was an obstacle in your way, like I was your enemy.” He took in an excruciating breath. “She’s part of you, just as you’re a part of her. And the simple fact is, she killed my mother. I’ll never forget that; I’ll never forgive that. It doesn’t matter how much I want you. It’ll never matter because in the end
. . .
I’ll never love Soo Jin.”

Yoori’s soul ripped apart while her world shattered at the enormity of his last words.

“I’ll never love Soo Jin.”

It repeated in her mind and slashed at all the remaining hope in her already weak body.

Every nerve, cell, and atom in her body felt the pain and reality from his words. The mind-numbing pain was released and Yoori began to drown within it.

In the past, she had always tried to separate herself from Soo Jin. Yet after hearing his words, it was clear now how impossible that task was. No matter how much she hated her past self, the ultimate truth was that she was still Soo Jin in every possible way.

It was impossible; it was impossible for them to be together now and she realized that.

How could she continue to fight it when her past self was the one who hurt him first? How could she fight it when her past self was the one who murdered his mother and took part in destroying his family? How could she force him to stay with her when he didn’t want to be near Soo Jin?

It was the one obstacle they couldn’t overcome.

Soo Jin.

They could never overcome Soo Jin.

With one lingering stare on her, as if to catalog the memory of her in his mind, Tae Hyun inhaled deeply, relinquishing all the emotions he showed her in this room while reverting his expression back to the emotionless visage he walked in with.

He had a party to attend, a world to rule over, and a future to save.

He had no more time to be distracted with her.

“Make it easier for us,” he said to her with finality, pain displaying one last time in his eyes before he turned away from her. “Just leave and don’t come back.”

Helpless and destroyed, Yoori watched in silence as he stalked into the hallway, treaded into the living room, and then left the apartment without another word to her.

They were done.

They were
done
.

It was only after she heard the door click close did Yoori renounce the last of her strength and collapsed to the ground, finally allowing her violent sobs to tear from her chest. She shook and covered her face with her quivering hands, finding it harder and harder to breathe.

He wasn’t coming back; he was never coming back.

“Please stop crying,”
Yoori brokenly whispered to herself. “Please stop crying,”

The tears refused to stop.

If she thought she went through hell before when he left her the first time, then she didn’t know what hell was because the agonizing throbbing that ripped through her was one that stole every breath from her lungs. Yoori had to struggle to breathe through her heart-wrenching sobs.

Oh God, this can’t be happening,
she thought to herself, praying that all of this was merely a nightmare.

Except she was miserably aware that it wasn’t.

The pain
. . .
the mind-numbing pain was too real and too unbearable to be a dream.

Make it easier for him
, a shattered voice whispered in her mind.
Stop distracting him. All he has left is his Underworld. Just leave and let him find someone else who would give him the life you could never give him. You never listen to him
. . .
well, listen to him now and just leave
. . .

Though dazed with heartache, Yoori listened to her own rationale.

She had never listened to him, but she would listen to him now. Yoori would leave him alone; she would take Soo Jin far away from him. It was the least she could do for him.

Using all the strength she had, Yoori crawled up. She ignored the potent pain engulfing her insides and ran to the closet. Grabbing all that belonged to her, she threw clothes after clothes into an opened luggage while tear after tear continued to shed from her eyes.

Yoori only stopped crying after she threw the last of her clothes into the luggage and happened across a familiar article of clothing in the closet.

Tae Hyun’s black hoodie stood in her line of vision.

Yoori held her breath as she pulled the hoodie off the hanger. Her aching heart lifted marginally
.
Yoori cradled the garment close to her chest like she had found a hidden treasure. He would never miss this, she told herself while she hugged the hoodie, remembering the scent of his cologne and how he was always the one who kept her warm. She had to keep a memory of him, a memory of their good times while she tried to live past the misery that awaited her.

With the hoodie held against her chest, she scanned the room one last time. Yoori tried to ignore the anguished realization that she was no longer welcomed in the room that had come to belong to her as well.
She placed that pain aside and rummaged through all the drawers to make sure she had everything. Yoori wanted to do what Tae Hyun asked of her. She wanted to get rid of every shred of her existence before he came back.