THE WAR BRIDE CLUB (8 page)

      “She’s my youngest daughter, Sylvia. If Madeline roughs it out over there and the boy doesn’t treat her right, or something happens, I’d sell everything we have if need be to bring her home.”

      He walked the two steps around the table and stamped a kiss on her head.
 

      “I don’t want you to, girl. But if you love him, you say yes to the boy when he asks.”

      Tears tickled her eyes, but she fought to keep the smile on her face until her father had turned away. She loved her mother, but she adored her father. And if she had his blessing, and Roy asked her, she would go.
 

      She wouldn’t want her father spending all his pennies on bringing her home, but if it was that bad over there, at least she knew she was wanted here. Even if it did mean coming home a woman no one else would ever be interested in.
 

      Her father loved her and that was what counted.
 

The days seemed to drag by. Every time she saw another couple holding hands, every time she listened to her friends talking about their sweethearts, every time she so much as breathed, her heart felt like it could burst and explode into hundreds of tiny shards. The weight that seemed to press down her chest made her feel like she was suffocating. And the thought of what she was going to leave behind made her want to retch.
 

      She kept seeing Roy’s face. His dark brown eyes swam in front of her. She could almost feel his sandy blond hair beneath her fingers. Fingertips that itched to touch him.
 

      She saw the farm as he’d described it. Or perhaps how she wanted to imagine it. Plump hens strutted about, the fields were full of thigh high grass, and a horse gazed from over the post and rail fence. Just like the ranches she’d read about.

      She dreamed of the babies they would have. Of toddlers barefoot and perhaps even riding ponies. But then that only reminded her that any babies born would probably never see their grandparents, and that made her want to be sick all over again.
 

      The night he asked her had felt so right. Nothing over the top, nothing contrived. Just the two of them sitting on the wooden seat in her family’s back garden, the light from the moon illuminating the ring he’d pulled from his pocket.
 

      “You know I love you, Madeline.”

      She had simply nodded her head. Mute.
 

      “I know you love your family, but I want to make our own family together.” He had dropped to his knees, pulled out the ring, and was staring straight in to her eyes. “I don’t want to leave tomorrow and not know that you’ll marry me. I want you to be my wife, Madeline.”

      Tears had trickled down each cheek, words dying in her throat. But somehow she had managed a smile as he pushed the ring on her finger.
 

      “You will marry me, Madeline, won’t you?”

      “Yes,” she had whispered. “Yes, Roy. I’ll marry you.”

      He had pulled her in for a kiss. Hugged her tight until she’d stopped crying. She held her hand up to squint at the ring. A simple, thin band that said she was promised.
 

      “Let’s go tell your parents, okay?”

      She followed him inside, aware of her hand clasped in his, and nearly burst into tears again when she saw her parents – waiting – sitting at the table.
 

      Their reaction had been happy. Her family had pulled out a bottle of sherry that was tucked away for an occasion, and Madeline had sipped at her glass. Still unsure. Still fighting with the emotions that battled her daily.
 

      And now here she was, waiting.
 

      Her fiancé was at war, like most of the other young men on the continent. He had been promised leave to marry her, now that their permission had come through. And then she’d be lucky to see him again before she arrived in America. Unless he came back injured and needed recovery.
 

      She didn’t let herself think about the possibility of him coming home a corpse rather than a fiancé.
 

CHAPTER FIVE

      “I think it’s fair to say he loves you.”

      Madeline gave Betty a tight smile. It was odd talking about her feelings, opening up. But the other girls had and there was something nice about being honest.
 

      “It’s not that you don’t think he’s fond of you, is it?”
       

She turned as June spoke. They all did.
 

      “It’s that you don’t think you’ll love being with him as much as you loved being at home with your family. You’re worried he won’t be the same when you arrive.”

      Madeline brushed at the tears collecting on her cheeks. She nodded.
 

      “We’ve all had those thoughts,” June continued. “Or at least I’ve had them. Will he still love me after all this time? Will his family like me? Will I wish I’d stayed at home and married a local boy?”

      Alice agreed. “I used to think that every night,” she said. “Now I just pretend he loves me, pretend it will be perfect, and leave it at that.”

      “At least none of you are pregnant,” moaned Betty. She managed to lift the mood like she always did. “If he didn’t love me then, he ain’t gonna love me with this big belly.”

      Madeline laughed, her tears starting to disappear. “He’ll love you, Betty. If one of us is going to be loved, then I’ll put my money on you.”

      Betty rubbed her stomach the way she always did when they spoke about her. Only Alice looked indignant.
 

      “I’ll have you know that my man loves me,” said Alice with a theatrical pout. “Or at least he better. I’ll give him the flick for another if he doesn’t.”

      That made them all giggle.
 

      A whistle blew.
 

      “That’ll be lunch,” announced Betty triumphantly, extending a hand.
 

      “Food, it’s all she thinks about,” muttered Alice.
 

      “You wait until you’re eating for two. This fella’s got an appetite.”

      “What say we hit the shop after? We can share a block of chocolate between us later?”

      Alice nodded her agreement and Betty licked her lips.
 

      “You coming?” June asked

      Madeline smiled and watched them. They were all grinning at her.
 

      “I just feel like sitting a while. Save me a sandwich.”

      “You sure?” asked June. “I don’t mind staying.”

      “Go have lunch.” Madeline swatted at the air. “I just need a minute to catch my breath.”

      She didn’t let the smile fade until they’d disappeared. It didn’t matter that she’d told them, although it did feel good to get it off her chest. But she needed to relive it for herself. Needed to just think about her marriage. About her family.
 

      Besides, she hadn’t told them everything. Would their reaction have been the same if she’d been completely truthful? She loved Roy dearly, couldn’t wait to see him, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t worried about the man she’d married, and what life with him was going to be like.
 

* * *

Their wedding day brought with it a steady trickle of rain, before the clouds parted and allowed a light blue sky to appear. Roy had arrived the day before. She’d been bursting with excitement about seeing him, desperate to hold him and talk with him again, but something had been wrong.
 

      His eyes had shown none of the love she’d expected. But maybe she expected too much.
 

      He had sat with her, in her family’s kitchen, before turning in for the night. Her mother had set up a bed in their sunroom, and once he was asleep they continued the wedding plans. They were to be married in the little church down the road, the one she had visited every Sunday since she was a girl. Neighbors had kindly pooled rations to see to it there was a cake, and her mother was mixing the icing as one of her sisters sat and fiddled with Madeline’s dress.
 

      “Concentrate,” her sister said.
 

      Madeline stopped wriggling.
 

      “If you weren’t so tiny I wouldn’t still be here.” She grumbled, a pin between her lips, but Madeline knew her sister was happy to alter the dress and see it worn again. It was only a few years ago she’d worn it down the aisle herself.
 

      Madeline just shook her head and smiled, but inside her stomach was churning. She’d lost weight with the worry, with the anticipation. But now that he was here, the knot of worry had wound even tighter.
 

      “Madeline?”

      Her sister’s voice startled her.
 

      “You’re not having second thoughts, are you? You’re away with the fairies today.”

      She braved a smile. “No. It’s just, well, I kind of thought he’d be more pleased to see me.”

      Her sister threw her hands in the air. It put a stop to her tears before they fell.
 

      “He’s a man who has just arrived back after being on the front line.
War
, Madeline. Goodness only knows what the poor man’s seen.” She wagged her finger for effect. “These are hard times and you need to be patient with men at the best of them.”

      Her mother looked slightly more sympathetic. “How about you take yourself off to get ready and we’ll finish up here. You’ve just got a lot on your mind. Start fixing your hair and I’ll come to help soon.”

      She reasoned with herself that they were right. It was the stress of not having seen her groom for so long, of wondering what he was thinking. Not to mention their honeymoon or going to live abroad. A night away at the little cottage,
tonight
, on their own.
 

      That scared her more than anything.
 

      She undressed, sucked in a big breath of air, and came to the conclusion that the only way she was going to survive the day was to turn off the thinking part of her brain.
 

      Then her eye caught the little pile of things on her dresser. It made her breath catch in her throat. A frilly garter that she’d never seen before was propped against a baby blue corsage that she recognized from her sister’s wedding. Something borrowed, something blue. It sent a trill of excitement down her spine. Did it count for old too?

      Madeline reached for the garter, to feel the soft lace, and her hands skimmed over a string of white pearls hidden beneath.
Her mother’s
. She would have recognized them anywhere. When they were children, she used to finger them around her mother’s neck before her parents went out out for dinner..
 

      Now they were waiting for her to wear. Her something old. Or maybe something borrowed too.
 

      Was Roy waiting for her to wear the garter?

      She was almost too scared to find out.

The only thing Madeline was sure about her marriage, was that Roy took his conjugal rights very seriously. She had become a married woman with little other than fear of her wedding night. Not an all-consuming fear, just a worry that she might not know exactly what was expected.
 

      
She needn’t have worried.
 

      After Roy’s leave was unexpectedly extended, she had come to know precisely what was expected of her. It wasn’t that she didn’t like it, but the fact it was a nightly routine had started to become exhausting.
 

      Two weeks after their wedding, she sat in her room, brushing out her hair. If Roy wasn’t here, she would have simply crawled into bed and fallen into a much-needed sleep. But she knew he would stay up for another drink, long after everyone else had retired to bed, and then he’d expect her to be waiting.
 

      A creak made her place the brush back on the dresser. She looked around and met eyes with her husband.
 

      “Hello, wife.”
 

      She felt a familiar flutter. That tickle that tore her between love and uncertainty. She was also worried about telling him that tonight was not going to go as he expected.
 

      He started to take off his clothes. She swallowed away her worry and tried to think of herself as a grown, married woman who shouldn’t have to worry about talking to her own husband about delicate matters.
 

      “Roy, I…”

      He watched her, his impatience obvious as she stuttered.
 

      Madeline cleared her throat. “I’m experiencing my monthly, ah, course.”

      He finished taking off his clothes and got into bed. “So?”

      “Well, I just wanted to explain why I’ll have to refuse you tonight. I didn’t want you to think I…”