The Wanted (39 page)

ROSA

We trudged through the clearing, and Deshi shot up from where he was squatting over a gas burner and saucepan. A plume of steam and the tinny smell of canned food heating welcomed me. He glanced from my face to Joseph’s, down to our joined hands, and rushed us both, throwing his arms around our necks and knocking our heads together.

“Okay, okay…” He panted breathlessly. “Well, she didn’t kill you. That’s a start.” Joseph managed a weak laugh in response.

I broke away from Joseph, his fingers gripping my hand until the last second, and let them talk. Everything was packed and ready to go. I wandered up to Denis, who was perched on the edge of the chopper cabin, poking food around his small, metal bowl. I threw the pack in the back of the craft.

“You’ll get used to it,” I said. Rosa-May’s shadow stepped forward from within, the light hitting her frowning face. It was amazing how much she looked like me, especially when she was angry. Paulo was completely absent in her. A good thing. I bowed my head in thanks that she never knew him. She held out her hands for me. In only two days, she’d come to trust me.

“I doubt I’ll ever get used to this,” Denis replied smoothly, reaching for his headphones that were no longer there.

“We have music too. I’m sure Gwen could help you with that when we get back.” My chipper voice was more like soggy bark chips, dull and unconvincing. Besides, I didn’t really care whether he was comfortable or not. It was never a concern he had for me. I was about to add that maybe he shouldn’t ask Gwen for anything, considering he’d abandoned her to die. But I left it, feeling a prickle of evil satisfaction at the fact that she’d probably tear him apart if he did ask her for something. My smile was dipped in acid sugar and he gave me a peculiar look, as if he knew there was a nasty thought lurking behind it. I shrugged, picked Rosa-May up, and squeezed her middle. “I’m sorry I was away for so long.” She nodded, her roundish chin touching her chest. Still no words.

We waited the two hours needed for the batteries to charge before I retrieved the panels. During the wait, we ate our breakfast, plotted our course, and then, after they were reattached, we left. We rose up, wobbling between the trees like a puppet on strings.

Skimming through the air like a bug, I decided I liked this untouched-by-humans part of the forest. The hand of our inferior species hadn’t razed this corner, stumped its growth. It meant the trees were full. The world was wild and how it should be.

I focused on my sister, purposefully seating her between Joseph and me. Unspoken, un-dealt-with things stacked between us. Just because I was willing to stay, to hold onto him, didn’t mean I was fine. Every time I let my thoughts drift, they kept wandering back to the same place like a self-destructive homing pigeon. Him and
her.
It turned my stomach over once and then knotted it tightly.

I put my hand in Rosa-May’s hair mindlessly stroked the top of her head as we whirred over the tops of the trees, the foliage of each touching the other like a dense, squidgy floral arrangement.

“Look down there,” I said, pointing to a large gap in the trees. She glanced at it unenthusiastically and then went back to her fidgety fingers. She had half-moons in her fingernails, just like me. I thought of Mother, trimming her nails and mine. Chastising me when I had chewed them, sighing, always sighing at my defiance. Her memory coated this child like an extra layer of skin.

A smashed section of mirror lay on the land—a lake, reflective in the middle and frozen around the edges. The ice crept inwards like white ghosts racing to the center of the water. I craned my neck and could see the black underbelly of the chopper reflected in the water.

Joseph pinched Rosa-May’s elbow and winked at her. “See over there?” He pointed to the middle. When he spoke to her, he forced air and light into his tone and it lifted her head. “They say there’s a monster living in the bottom of the lake, and when children laugh, it jumps out of the water and does a flip.”

I wanted to ask,
Who’s they
? I wanted to play along, but I didn’t.

I rolled my eyes, but Rosa-May looked up from her lap and pressed her face to the window behind us, twisting in her harness. While she peered out of the window, Joseph tickled her. Her laugh was husky, chords running side by the side. I laughed too and Joseph caught my eye, grinning. My stupid heart kicked into gear.

“I saw it! Did you see it?” he shouted. She shook her head, pouting. We passed over the lake and brushed the tips of the trees again. “Well, on our way home, you better look more closely.” She nodded, very serious.

I covered my mouth but a small giggle slipped out.

The air cooled as the chopper climbed, the green forest gradually swallowed by white. I put my arm around Rosa-May’s shoulders and rubbed her little arms. My hand brushed Joseph’s elbow, and he sighed loudly when I withdrew sharply.

“Sorry,” I shouted.

He shook his head. “Don’t be,” he said, reaching for my face.

I let him touch my cheek briefly before I twisted away. The feelings were the same with just this one obstacle: A paper-thin picture I couldn’t get out of my head. This was difficult, wanting and not wanting out of principle at the same time.

The angle of the chopper changed abruptly, and we were scaling a mountain. I laughed and both Rosa-May and Joseph gave me a curious look. Pietre had certainly taken me literally when I’d said take Orry somewhere ‘up’.

The higher we climbed, the thinner and shorter the forest became. Evidence of humans sprung out of the ground in black and rust. Seats hung from wire strung between long poles, moving independent of the wind like the spirits of the past were swinging their legs in them. I shuddered as we flew directly over the wire. These were the skeletons of a life and culture long gone.

Near the peak, the straight, flat lines of multi-story buildings peeked out from beneath lumps of snow. Deshi waved his slender arms about, pointing through the front window. Below, a building with a faded, red H painted on the roof rose out of the white like a dirty, grey building block no would want to play with. Denis nodded and swung over the top of it.

The chopper swayed and wavered in the wind, easing itself down clumsily until its legs hit the concrete roof with a plastic slap.

Deshi turned, his dark brows raised in excitement. “This is as close as I could get us safely. We’ll have to walk from here,” he said with an edge of a squeal lurking behind his expression.

“How far?” I asked, my legs burning to run.

Deshi beamed. He understood. Soon, he would see Hessa and I would see Orry.

“Not far at all.”

ROSA

I stepped out of the chopper and slammed into a cold wall of air. The sun was deceivingly bright and glaring, bouncing off the white and stabbing my eyes. Denis quickly unfolded the solar panels and left the battery to charge. We piled on every item of clothing we had. With my overly padded arm, I snatched the handheld back from Deshi as soon as he pulled it from the chopper console, switching it on like a greedy child. I needed to see the red light. Search for it. Focus on it. The best of me was floating on a red light somewhere out there.

“Wait. Shouldn’t we turn it off now that we’re on the ground?” Joseph asked, placing his hand on the screen and resting it over my palm.

Denis gave a tight, condescending smile. “We are the Superiors last concern right now. I wouldn’t worry.”

I slapped Joseph’s hand away. The light blinked, still in the same place as before.

We shuffled on the icy concrete towards an old, green door that seemed to stick up out of nowhere. Joseph kicked the rotten wood, his foot going straight through without any effort. Rosa-May dug her fingers into his neck. I pushed the rest through with my hands. It felt like an old sponge and smelt about as bad. Flicking a torch on, we walked down the slippery steps. The thin streams of light revealed nothing but dingy corners and prints of people flying through the air with long planks attached to their feet. Black mold framed the edges of the shots, spreading like a disease cloud.

“I’m guessing this used to be a ski lodge,” Denis announced as he paused at one of the dimpled photos. When none of us responded, he said, “I’m also guessing none of you know what that is?”

“You guessed right,” Deshi replied with a smile on his face.

Denis’ face lit up at Deshi’s smile.

I tuned them out as they politely conversed about a sport where people propelled themselves down a snow-covered hill on things called skis for fun. I was still trying to decide if Denis had made up for all the horrible things he’d done to me—let
them
do to me. Gripping the railing, I stilled as memories of every time he’d dropped me at that black door started assaulting my head. I swayed from side to side, trying to clear it. Like if I tapped hard enough, I could somehow evacuate the images from my head like sauce stuck in the bottom of a bottle. I lost my balance, and Joseph caught the back of my shirt before I fell down the stairs.

“Rosa, what’s going on? Are you ok?” Joseph leaned over me from the step above as Rosa-May’s small face peeked over his shoulder. She squinted under my torchlight.

Denis and Deshi froze a few steps above us, their eyes wandering as they tried to avoid intruding on our conversation.

“I’m fine,” I replied, because I didn’t know how to be honest with him. Even though he had hurt me, I had no desire to hurt him back with images he couldn’t rid himself of. The torture and pain were a steady flow of horror I still wanted to protect him from.

“You’re not,” he said flatly, his eyes rolling to the crumpled roof that sagged over our heads. “I want you to tell me what happened to you.” My face felt smooth like a rendered wall. I couldn’t. He sensed it and added, “But I’ll wait until you’re ready.”

I gripped his arm and gazed into his eyes, crisscrossed with torchlight, dark with shadows. “Thank you. I just want to get Orry back. After that…” I didn’t want to say ‘we’ll have time’ because I didn’t know what the future held. Once we had Orry, who knew what we would be returning to. Hot tears welled like a candle fighting the breeze, but I snuffed them before they could fall.

He seemed to understand. His eyes darted to the men behind us briefly, but then they settled on me.
Drowning in gold would be a good way to go.

“I love you, you know.”

I didn’t say it back, even though I wanted to. Stubbornly, I pursed my lips, nodded, and turned around. But I let him keep his hand on my back, to connect and stabilize me. I was a crooked, splitting trunk. I couldn’t pull together by myself. Unfortunately, I needed help.

We followed the very convenient green exit signs, traipsing through several levels of soggy roofs and mold spreading over the wall like art.

The last door, painted with zebra stripes, celebrated the end of the stifling building. The light seemed brighter when I pushed down on the big, metal handle and shoved the door open. I felt closer. I pictured wrapping my arms around Orry and never letting go. Fear pricked the edges though.
What if something had happened to them?
I peeked at my handheld. The red dot hadn’t moved at all. Shouldn’t it have moved a little?

I traced the dot with my finger as if it were him, pausing in the snow. “What if he doesn’t remember me?” I whispered.

Deshi uncharacteristically leaned his cheek to mine, his wiry hair brushing over my ear. “What if he doesn’t remember
me
?”

Joseph hoisted Rosa-May higher up his back and flicked his hair from his eyes. “You two worry too much. Who could possibly forget either of you?” I liked the old grin back on his face.
Too much.

I glanced up from the screen. The arrow pointed towards lumps of white between old streetlights. I walked up to one and kicked the snow away from the base. A road. The arrow told me to follow it. “This way,” I directed with excitement and trepidation staining my voice.

As we left the ski village, as Denis called it, the road tipped off the edge of the world. Sheer cliff face above and below that the snow could barely hug. As I trudged upwards, my boots gaining layers of ice with every step, I wondered how they’d got up here with Pietre’s leg. It may not have been as snow covered but still, with two children, it must have been rough.

I turned to Joseph, breath clouds misting his face at every step. “Are you scared?” I asked.

“Of you? Yes! Of finding them? Definitely not.” He smirked and adjusted Rosa-May on his back. “You need to hold on tight, Posie.” The nickname ran warming hands on either side of my heart.

I snorted, rubbed my hands together, and walked. Deshi strode next to me, as anxious as I was. Denis lagged behind, his head down, watching his feet make imprints in the snow like it was a first. Like he was the first man to ever walk up here. I rolled my eyes.

JOSEPH

I know what she’s doing. Turning the idea over and over in her head. Trying to decide how she should act instead of doing what she feels. It’s unlike her. I kind of wish she’d just punch me and get it over with.

She brushed past me and pinched Desh’s elbow, whispering in his ear. It annoyed me, even though I had no right to be annoyed. I scooted closer so I could hear what she was saying.

“So, you and Denis,” she started, awkwardly winding her fingers together, a blush appearing in her cheeks despite the cold. My fingers ached to touch those pink cheeks, but thankfully, they were holding on tightly to Rosa-May.

Desh’s head jerked up in surprise. “Huh?”

She pursed her lips. I could tell she was thinking of a way to back away from whatever it was she was going to say, but then she blurted, “You know. You and him, uh, together…” She clapped her palms together. The sound echoed over the desolate-looking land.

The Superior’s son was behind us, walking painfully slow. Desh jerked his head around to look at Denis and rolled his eyes. “Rosa, just because Denis and I have that
one
thing in common, it doesn’t make us a good match. Besides, he’s not really my type.”

I suppressed a chuckle.

“Oh,” she said, looking down at her feet as she shuffled through the snow that came up to her calves. “Sorry.”

Desh slung his arm over her shoulder and laughed. “Don’t be. You’re being uncharacteristically sweet, and I don’t mind it.” Man, I wanted to be Desh right about then because she turned, poked her tongue out at him, and gave him a real, rare, Rosa-smile.

It killed me, because by the time her face had come back to me, the smile was gone.

ROSA

At midday, we stopped for food and drink. I scanned the thinning buildings. Only the occasional bump in the cold landscape showed any evidence that people once lived there. A broken roof, a car. The terrain flattened out, still a cliff face above, but below us, trees punctured the snow and a gentle slope drifted away from us. We sat on our packs, in the road, and ate quickly. Rosa-May refused food, but she drank a little. It worried me.

“She needs time,” Joseph whispered as I tried holding the bread to her lips. She clamped them shut, shaking her head like I’d just waved a dead rat under her nose.

I put my hands on my hips and let my head fall in frustration. The air was clean, fresh, wet pine and snow creeping up my nose carried on a thin waft of wood smoke. “Smoke,” I said, my voice shaky as a crackle in the fire. “I smell smoke!”

We all turned in circles, searching for the source. The smoke wafted under my feet, pushing me higher. It had to be them. My eyes skimmed the trees but I couldn’t see anyone.

“There!” Joseph yelled, pointing down and northwest through a collection of leafless, blue-grey trees clothed in knitted, yellow moss. I didn’t wait. I tumbled off the road and sunk knee-deep in the snow, following the imaginary line Joseph had pointed out. It ran like crimson ribbon in front of me, melting an imaginary path in the snow.

“Rosa, wait!” they shouted, but I couldn’t stop. I ran, pushing my way through the snow like a plow, streams of sunlight piercing the gaps in the trees like the spokes of a wheel, strong and hopeful.

My legs were frozen, I think. I couldn’t feel anything except the warmth of Orry’s skin when I eventually held him. I couldn’t hear anything other than the sound he would make as I squeezed him, and the tears I would try not to cry. My eyes lifted to the soft rise and fall of the land. He had to be just over there, just past that ridge of trees. The smoke smell strengthened. My heartbeat did too, pulling out of my chest and pulsing for home.

I pulled at the tree trunks like they were the rungs of a ladder. Bark scratched my hands, and birds startled away from me. My breath was hot, my vision sharp as icicles.

A flap of wings and children’s laughter weaved its way through the trees. A sound I knew, like bells underwater. I halted. Snow seeped into my pants, my boots. I tucked my hair behind my ear and listened.

Two distinct laughs sailed up to the sky. Unfettered, unworried. Perfect.

I slowed, creeping towards the sound like a tiger stalking a deer. Afraid somehow that I would frighten them away.

My head poked past a frozen blackberry bush and I saw them, my heart breaking and melding back together. There they were, Hessa and Orry, playing together in the snow. It was an extraordinary, ordinary scene that slotted in my brain and took up permanent residence, knocking one old, bad memory out.

I crouched down behind the bush before they saw me. Scared of him. Scared to see if he was damaged. Orry grabbed Hessa around the neck, and they fell together in the snow. I carefully counted his fingers, checked his face for scratches, cuts, and bruises. His face had lost some roundness. But mostly, he was the same child. He was my baby, unaffected, like he’d been on a trip this whole time.

Alexei came striding through the trees, clucking his tongue. “You two are too rough with each other. And I’ve told you not to run off like that.”