The Wall of Winnipeg and Me (8 page)

His gaze had drifted to the ceiling at some point, but in that moment, he shifted it to scrutinize me. Those broad features were even and smooth, and not even remotely close to a scowl.

“Find someone you like, date them for a little bit or something, and then ask them to marry you. You can always get divorced afterward.” I paused and thought about a distant cousin of Diana’s. “There’s also people out there who would do it if you paid them enough, but that’s kind of tricky because I’m pretty sure it’s a felony to try to get your papers fixed by marrying someone for that reason. It’s something to think about.”

I blinked, noticing his expression had gone from scrutinizing to contemplating. Thoughtful. Too thoughtful. This weird sensation crept over my neck. Weird, weird, weird, telling me something was off, telling me I should probably get out of his line of view. I took a step back and eyed him. “What is it?”

Nothing in this world could have prepared me for what came out of his mouth next.

“Marry me.”

“
What?
” It came out of my mouth as surprised and rude as I imagined it did, I was positive of it.

He was on drugs. He was seriously on fucking drugs.

“Marry me,” he repeated himself, like I hadn’t heard him the first time.

I leaned back against the kitchen counter, torn between being weak from shock and dumbfounded from how ridiculous his statement was, and settled for just staring blankly in the general direction of his granite-like face. “You’re on dope, aren’t you?”

“No.” The usually taut corners of Aiden’s mouth relaxed a fraction of an inch; the tension in his body diminishing just a tiny amount, but it was enough for me to notice. “You can help me get my residency.”

What in the hell was going on with him? Maybe it was brain damage after all. I’d seen some of the guys he went up against, how could he have gotten off scot-free after so many years? “Why would I do that?” I gaped. “Why would I even
want
to do that?”

That strong jaw seemed to clench.

“I don’t want to work for you, much less marry you to help you get your papers fixed.” An idea rang through my brain, and I almost threw my hands up in joy at the brilliance behind it. “Marry someone who can do all your assistant stuff, too. It makes perfect sense.”

He’d started nodding when I brought up the assistant idea, but the emotion in his eyes was a little disturbing. He looked way too determined, too at peace with whatever crazy crap was going on in his big head. “It’s perfect,” he agreed. “You can do it.”

I choked. As badly as I wanted to say something—to argue with him or just tell him he’d lost his mind—nothing managed to come out of my mouth. I was flabbergasted.
Fucking flabbergasted
.

Aiden was on crack.

“Are you insane? Did you drop a barbell on your neck bench pressing?”

“You said it; it’s a perfect plan.”

What had I done?
“It’s not perfect. It’s nowhere near perfect,” I blabbered. “I don’t work for you anymore, and even if I did, I wouldn’t do it.” Seriously? He was thinking I would? I didn’t know him to be anything but practical, and this was just outrageous.

But he wasn’t listening. I could tell. He had his thinking face on. “Vanessa, you have to do it.”

Did he not understand that we weren’t friends? That he’d treated me in the opposite way you would treat someone you cared about?

“No. I don’t and I’m not.” If I met the right person, I wasn’t opposed to getting married some day in the future. I didn’t think about marriage often, but when I did, I kind of liked the idea of it. Diana’s parents had been a perfect example of a great relationship; of course, I’d want something like that in the future, if it was possible. Realistically, I knew I would be fine on my own too.

And I wasn’t going to scratch kids off my list of things I’d like if I also had the right person in my life. I faintly knew what I wanted in a partner, but more than anything, I knew what I didn’t want.

And Aiden, even on his best days, wasn’t that person. Or anywhere near it. Sure he was good-looking; anyone with eyes could see that. His body alone had women of all ages turning in their seats to get a good look because Aiden breathed virility, and what woman didn’t like a man who looked like he drank testosterone in gallons? He was a big drink of cool water, or so I’d been told. Okay, and he had money, but that wasn’t a hard requisite for a future boyfriend or husband. I could make my own money.

That was it though.

Except for the first three months of my employment, I had never once thought to myself that I had feelings for The Wall of Winnipeg. I was physically attracted to him, sure. But for me, and because of everything I’d seen my mom go through, jumping from one relationship to another my entire life, that wasn’t enough. My last boyfriend hadn’t been the best looking guy on the planet, but he’d been funny and nice, and we liked the same things. We got along. The only reason we’d split up was because he’d been offered a job in Seattle, and I hadn’t been convinced I was head over heels in love with him enough to move across the country, even further away from the few people in my life who mattered to me. I’d done it once already going to school in Tennessee.

Aiden didn’t fit any of the same qualifications my ex had. He wasn’t funny or nice, we didn’t like the same things, and based on the last two weeks of our work relationship, we didn’t get along.

And why the hell was I even thinking about reasons why this was a bad idea?
It was a terrible one point blank. One I wasn’t going to go through with. No way, no how.

Aiden, on the other hand, wasn’t paying attention. He didn’t have to say a word for me to know he was ignoring everything coming out of my mouth.

“Aiden, listen to me”—
for the second time in your life
, I added in my head—“I’m sure Trevor can find you someone. Just ask.”

That comment had him snapping to attention. His thick, dark eyebrows straightened. “I’m not telling Trevor.”

I pushed at my glasses even though they were in place.

“Would you?” he questioned.

Yeah, that had me wincing. I wouldn’t trust Trevor to put something in the mail for me. “What about Rob?”

No response.

Huh. Touché. “Zac?”

Aiden simply shook his head in denial.

“Your friends?”

“I would have told them already if I wanted them to know,” he explained in a careful tone that made too much sense.

With that comment, a few things suddenly made sense. Of course he’d been serious about coming back from his injury. But on top of that, his extra terrible mood at the fear of being deported if he was let go by the organization added to that. Even more so, dealing with his manager and agent, who didn’t seem to be totally onboard with whatever it was Aiden wanted once his contract came to the end, only made matters worse. But there was one thing that didn’t really add up once I thought about it, and it wasn’t the reason why he didn’t want to go back to Canada or why he didn’t want to stay in Dallas.

“Why are you telling me this?” I asked hesitantly.

Those brown irises settled on me, lines scorching his broad forehead.

Before I could talk myself out of it, I frowned in return. “You’ve never really told me anything before.” I blinked. “Ever. But now I quit, and you’re suddenly over at my apartment, asking me to come back to work for you when you hadn’t given a single crap that I was quitting, and you want me to marry you to get your papers fixed. You’re telling me things you don’t want to tell anyone else about and… it’s weird, man. I don’t know what the hell you expect me to tell you.”

“I’m telling you because…” He opened his mouth and closed it just as quickly. Opened it once more before closing it again, the muscles in his cheeks moving, as if he didn’t really know why he was doing so. Hell, I didn’t get it. Finally, Aiden shrugged those massive, rounded shoulders and made sure our gazes met. “I like you as much as I like anyone.”

Damn it.

God damn it.

Diana had told me once that I had no backbone. Actually, I’m pretty sure her exact words had been, “You’re a sucker, Van.”

I like you as much as I like anyone
shouldn’t have been a compliment. It really shouldn’t have. I wasn’t that dumb. But…

A rough laugh tore its way out of me unexpectedly, and then I was snickering, raising my eyes to the popcorn ceiling.

Coming from someone like Aiden, I guess it was the biggest compliment I could ever get.

I like you as much as I like anyone
. My word.

“Why is that funny?” Aiden asked, a frown curving his mouth.

I slapped a hand over my eyes and leaned forward over the kitchen countertop, giggling a little as I rubbed at my brow bone in resignation. “There’s a huge difference between me not irritating the hell out of you and us being friends, Aiden. You’ve made that perfectly clear, don’t you think?”

His blink was innocent, so earnest, I had no idea what to do with it. “I don’t mind you.”

I don’t mind you.

I started cracking up—really cracking up—and I was pretty sure it sounded like I was crying when I was really laughing.

“You’re the most even-tempered woman I’ve ever met.”

Even-tempered
. He was killing me.

This was what my life had come to. Taking half-assed compliments from a man who only cared about one thing: himself. A man who I’d tried to make my friend over and over again to no avail.

To give him credit, he waited a bit before saying carefully, way too calmly, and almost gently, “This isn’t funny.”

I had to squat down behind the kitchen cabinets because my stomach was clenching so badly.

“You’re asking me—oh, hell, my stomach hurts—to perform a felony, and your reasoning for having me do so is because you ‘like me as much as you like anyone,’ because you ‘don’t mind me,’ and because I’m ‘even-tempered.’” I held my hands up to do air quotes over the top of the cabinets. “Holy crap. I didn’t think you had a sense of humor, but you do.”

The best defensive player in the NFO didn’t hesitate with the opening I gave him. “You’ll do it then?”

I couldn’t even find it in me to be annoyed by his persistence after that. I was still laughing too much over my greatest attributes as a possible fake wife. “No, but this has been the highlight in my time knowing you. Really. I wish you’d been like this with me from the beginning. Working for you would have been a lot more fun, and I might have even thought about coming back for a little bit longer.”

It still wasn’t enough though. Working for him permanently wasn’t part of the plan, especially not after everything that happened, and everything he was asking of me now.
Marry him
.

He was out of his damn mind.

The plan after becoming entirely self-employed on my graphic design work was to pay off the terrifying amount of student loans I still had, buy my own house, buy a new car, and the rest… it could all fall into place in its own time. Travel, find someone I liked enough to be in a relationship with, maybe have a kid if I wanted one, and continue my financial independence.

And to make money, I needed to work, so I forced myself to my feet and shrugged at my old boss. “Look, you’ll find someone if you just try a little. You’re attractive, you have money, and you’re a decent guy most of the time.” I made sure to pin him with a look that emphasized the ‘most of the time.’ “If you found someone who you liked, even a little bit, I’m sure you could make it work. I’d give you one of my friends’ phone numbers, but they’d drive you nuts after ten minutes, and I’m not mad enough at you to give you any of my sisters’.”

I bit the inside of my cheek, not knowing what else to say, fully aware that I would more than likely never understand what had led him to this time and moment with me.

And what did he do?

His eyes roamed my face as his forehead wrinkled and he shook his head. “I need your help.”

“No you don’t.” Shrugging again, I offered him a reluctant smile, a gentle one because I was well aware he wasn’t used to having someone tell him no. “You’ll figure everything out on your own. You don’t need me.”

F
lipping
my grilled cheese sandwich over, I snickered into the phone. “I’m not going. I don’t think he liked me much anyway, either.”

“I didn’t like Jeremy until our third date and look at us now.” Diana’s argument was probably the worst one she could have chosen.

The five times I’d met him over the last six months was five times too many. I knew for a fact her brother felt the same way about him. We’d hung out with him for Diana’s birthday, and within minutes, we’d shared a ‘he’s a jackass’ glare. Neither of us tried to hide our dislike, and in this instant, nothing actually came out of my mouth, which said more than enough, I figured.

Not surprisingly, she knew what the silence was for and sighed. “He’s really nice to me.”

I highly doubted that. The times we’d gone out, he’d tried to pick a fight with someone… for no reason. He seemed high strung, moody, and way too cocky. Plus, I didn’t like the vibe he gave off, and I’d learned to listen to my gut when it came to people.

I’d told her enough times how I felt, but she continuously brushed it off. “Hey, I don’t have anything nice to say, so I’m not going to say anything,” I told her.

The big sigh that came out of her let me know she didn’t want to talk about Jeremy anymore—well aware it was a lost cause. Nothing would get me to change my mind about him unless he saved my life or something. “I still think you should go on another date. At least you can get a few drinks out of it.”

Why had I even told her my date last night had invited me out again? I knew better. I really did. “I drank about as much wine as my liver could handle last night just to get through two hours. I’m good.”

She made a “meh” noise. “There’s no such thing as too much wine.”

“Is there something I should know about?”

“I don’t know. Is there?”

“I don’t know, Betty Ford. You tell me.”

The person who was almost as much of a sister as she was my friend, barked out that familiar loud laugh that was about as close to home as possible. “Fuck you. I only drink two, maybe three times a week.”

“If that’s your way of trying to convince me you don’t have a drinking problem, it isn’t working.” I laughed.

She blew out a raspberry. “I don’t even know why I talk to you sometimes.”

“Because no one else likes you but me, your brother, and the boys?”

Di made a genuine thoughtful noise. “That’s probably it.”

We both burst out laughing at the same time.

“When are you free?” I asked. I hadn’t seen her since she’d dyed my hair.

“Oh, ah, let me get back to you. I have plans with Jeremy.”

Yeah, I might have rolled my eyes a little. “Well, let me know when you don’t.” I let the Jeremy thing in one ear and out the other.

“I will. I wanted to try a different color on you. Are your roots showing yet?”

I was in the middle of mulling over how she hadn’t asked if she could dye my hair again when three sharp knocks rattled my door. “Hold on one second.” Turning off the stovetop range, I made my way toward the door. It wasn’t either of my neighbors; neither of them knocked hard enough so that the door rattled on the rare occasion they dropped by.

With that thought, I knew exactly who it was before I even made it to the peephole.

“Fart breath, let me call you back later. I, uh, someone’s knocking on my door,” I explained abruptly. I still hadn’t told her, or anyone, about Aiden coming by to ask me to come work for him again, much less tell them that a week ago he’d asked me to marry him so he could become a permanent resident. I had thought about calling Zac, but decided against it.

“Okay. Bye.” I didn’t get a chance to say bye before the dial tone filled the receiver.

“Who is it?” I asked, even though I would have bet twenty bucks I already knew.

“Aiden,” the voice on the other side of the door answered just as I went up on my tippy-toes to peer into the peephole. Sure enough, a tan complexion with chocolate-colored eyes and a familiar, tightly pressed mouth greeted me through the glass.

It wasn’t until I opened the door that I realized he had a hoodie on and over his dark hair. I raised my eyebrows at him as he stood there, resembling his nickname as his shoulders took up the doorframe. He really did look like a damn human wall. “You’re back.” I blinked. “Again.”

While I grudgingly accepted that sometimes I didn’t have a backbone, I was also well aware that once you gave me a reason to stop liking you, it was nearly impossible to win yourself back into my good graces. You could ask Susie. While I could get over Aiden being a grumpy little B, the Trevor thing had gotten him into irreconcilable territory. Basically, he’d made it to The Land of the Forgotten. When it came down to it, he’d hurt me.

He gave me a look I wasn’t sure how to interpret before slipping inside my apartment—without an invitation—his chest brushing against my arm in the process. He was radiating a massive amount of heat, and I didn’t need to look at the clock to know he’d just gotten out of a training session. He also smelled like he’d skipped a shower in the locker room.

I had just closed the door when Aiden stopped in the hallway, hands on his hips, giving me a hard glare that I didn’t understand. “You live with drug dealers.”

Oh.

I shrugged a shoulder at him. “They leave me alone.” Sure, I’d had to tell them “No thanks” about a dozen times, but I didn’t clarify that point.

“You
know
that they’re drug dealers?”

I shrugged again, deciding right then that this judgmental ass wasn’t going to find out some of the people in the buildings on either side of mine were in a notorious gang that hung blue bandanas out of their pockets. So I went with changing the subject, thinking about my sandwich sitting on the pan waiting for me. “Do you need something?” The words were out of my mouth before I could stop myself, damn it.

Sure enough, Aiden nodded, still standing there in the hallway between the door, and the rest of my place. “You.”

Me.

In another world, with another person, I’d like to think that I would love to hear someone say they needed me. But… this was Aiden. Aiden who thought he “needed” me to marry him; Aiden who had only showed up to my apartment because he needed something from me. In my imagination, I shaped my fingers like a gun, held them up to my forehead and pulled the trigger. In reality, I just stared at him impassively, my eyelids lowering on their own, not amused. “No.”

“Yes.”

Good grief. “No.”

“
Yes
,” he insisted.

My stomach growled, reminding me I hadn’t eaten anything since having breakfast hours ago. Grumpiness started climbing up my shoulders, edging me on to getting an attitude with this delusional human being. Shoving my glasses up so that they rested on the top of my head, I rubbed at my eyes with a sigh; peeking at him with a blurry eye. “I’m honored, really,” if I was being honest with myself,
not really
, “but I’m the last person you should be asking.”

His nostrils flared, and he tipped his chin up high, his jawline accentuating. This massive man who faced other big men for a living was glowering at me.
At me
. “Do you have a boyfriend?”

“No—”

“Then there isn’t a problem.”

I rubbed at my eyes with the meaty part of my palms some more, and tried to rein in my frustration. Blowing out a breath, I set my glasses back on my nose, and stared at the behemoth in my hallway. Obviously, we were going to have to go there. “Where would you like me to start?”

When all he did was give me that look that made me want to stick my finger in his nose, I figured that expression was going to be the best answer I would get out of him. If he wanted to be a pain in the ass, I could be a pain in the ass too. What did I have to lose? We weren’t friends, and he hadn’t cared about my feelings before, so I shouldn’t feel guilty for being honest with him.

So I started. “Okay.” I rolled my shoulders for battle, eyeing the canvas piece with one of my favorite hardback covers for moral support. It was a heart made out of multicolored stilettos for a book called
Heeling Love
. I’d been pretty proud of myself for that one. “One, we don’t know each other.”

“We know each other,” Delusional argued.

I wanted to move on to my next claim, but apparently we weren’t going to be able to until he understood each of the more-than-apparent reasons why me helping him fix his immigration status was a terrible idea. “I know you pretty well, but you don’t know a single thing about me besides my first name. Do you even know my last name?”

“Mazur.”

I
knew
him. I freaking knew him, so I folded my arms over my chest and narrowed my eyes. “You looked up my name, didn’t you?”

He was giving me the same face that drove me nuts. It was so damn smug. There was this one popular shot of him during a press conference after a game with a similar glare aimed at a reporter who had asked him a stupid question. Panties all over the U.S. were dropped that day. Yet the only thing that pointed chin, flat mouth, and cool eyes did to me was frustrate the shit out of me. “I don’t see what the problem is.”

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

“I don’t know whether you’re just pretending to be ignorant or if you really are just that hardheaded,” I gritted. “I worked for you for two years, and you didn’t know my last name. You couldn’t even tell me ‘Hi.’ Aiden, this isn’t you asking me to let you borrow twenty bucks or give you a ride to the airport. You don’t know me, and you don’t even like me. And that’s okay, I’m not worried about it, but we can’t ‘get married,’” I busted out the air quotes, “to fix your papers when you don’t like
me
. You can’t ignore me for years, not give a shit that I’m leaving, treat me like crap, and then expect me to jump to help you when you ask.”

“I told you. I like you as much—”

Oh my word. I was dealing with a brick wall. My eye almost twitched as I fought the urge to not make a pun about his nickname. “As you like anyone. Is that why you let Trevor talk about me? Because you like me?”

His hand went up to rub at the side of his neck, a color that was nearly pink staining his cheeks. “I do—” he started to argue. The pink managed to make its way down to his throat.

Damn it.

I had to count to six, my spine going rigid as I did it. My vocal chords went tight. This was so pointless. “Fine.
Fine
, Aiden. I don’t even know what the hell that means, but okay; you’ve sure shown me in the last two years. Now you don’t have an assistant and you want to become a resident and you’re here. That seems real genuine, don’t you think? But okay, I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt. Maybe you can tolerate me for some strange reason, and you didn’t want me to get all conceited so you didn’t make it noticeable.” That sounded like total bullshit to my ears. “How about, what you’re asking me to do is a felony? I could go to jail and you could get deported? What about that?”

“It’s only illegal if you get caught.”

My mouth dropped open. I was at a total loss for words. Was this a dream? Was this even real life?

“I have a plan,” he concluded in that low, low voice that reminded me of an eighteen-wheeler revving its engine.

Too late, I had a feeling this was a lost cause. “The government takes this stuff seriously, you know. I would be the one going to jail, not you.” Okay, I didn’t know if I would really get jail time or not, but maybe.

“I’ve done my research. I have a plan.”

Here he went with his freaking plan again. “I have a plan too, and part of my plan isn’t to marry someone to help them get their immigration paperwork together. I’m sorry, Aiden. I’m really sorry, but you’re in about the best place you can be to find someone to marry you if that’s what you want. You shouldn’t have to though. Maybe you can pay somebody a lot of money to fast track your paperwork.”

“Getting married is the best way to go about it.” He paused. His big hands visibly clenched at his sides, and I swore he looked even bigger in that moment. “I don’t want another visa.”

My heart reacted a little because it was weak and pathetic, and because I felt like a jerk for telling him no. I hated not helping people who needed it. But this was ridiculous. Here was a man who had never been particularly kind to me or tried to be my friend until I’d quit on him. Now it seemed like he was asking the world of me, and I didn’t feel entitled to give it to him. “I don’t know what to tell you.” I shook my head. “You’re out of your mind. I’m not doing it, and I don’t know where you’re getting the balls to ask me to.”

His gaze locked on mine, irrepressible and unflinching, like I hadn’t just told him no again. His chin tipped up as his lips disappeared for a moment, curling behind his teeth. Teeth that I knew were white and perfect. “You’re that mad at me?”

I aimed my imaginary gun in his direction and pulled the trigger before taking a deep breath to calm myself. “Even if I would have left on good terms, I still wouldn’t go back to work for you, much less help you get your visa or your residency, or whatever it is you want to do.”

His eyes roamed my face slowly, making me extremely aware of the fact that I wasn’t wearing makeup... or a stinking bra. Luckily, I’d only seen Aiden look at something other than my face once, and that had been that night when he’d showed up and I had been in a short dress. Then again, I’d also never seen him glance at a woman’s chest or ass either. He’d told the media a dozen times in the past how he didn’t have time for relationships, and he was right. He didn’t. “I can see it in your face, Vanessa,” he stated, making me temporarily ignore the situation I was in.

The word
stupid
ricocheted around in my head. “I haven’t been mad at you since I walked out of your house.”

“You’re lying. You’re making that face you do when you’re trying not to show you’re angry,” he explained, even as his gaze stretched over me, making me feel pretty self-conscious.

“I’m not,” I practically grunted out.

His impassive face said what words didn’t.
Liar.

I lost it. I was hungry, grumpy, and irritated. That was the absolute truth. From the way a vein in my forehead pulsed, I was still holding a not-so-insignificant amount of residual anger toward him too. “Okay. Fine. Yes, I’m still a little pissed at you. You let Trevor of all people talk about me behind my back.” I blinked. “
Trevor
.” By that point, my blood didn’t know whether to rush to my face or away from it. “Trevor would sell his own kid for a price. Maybe we’re not friends, but you have to have known I cared about you a lot more than fucking
Trevor
.”