The Wager (14 page)

“Jake?” Char interrupted. “You’re all flushed. Are you okay?”

Hell no. He was not okay.

He gripped the sides of his chair and gave her a curt nod. “I was just thinking.”

“Care to clue me in?” Char laughed. “Your thoughts seem exciting.”

Oh, if she only knew.

“Ready to order?” A waiter popped out of nowhere.

Damn. If Jake would have actually been looking at the menu he could’ve fired something off, but his mind had gone completely blank, and now he was staring at Char’s mouth, like a starving man. Perfect. He was turning into a lunatic. Grandma would be pleased with herself.

“I’ll have the chef’s salad with a side of fries.”

Jake laughed and pointed at Char. “Same for me.”

She took a sip of wine and closed her eyes.

Mouth completely dry, Jake watched as she savored the red wine and finally swallowed.

He’d be lucky to get out of the restaurant without dying from arousal. He cleared his throat and managed to look away. “So, fries and salad, huh?”

“Best of both worlds.” Char answered.

Out of the corner of his eye he noticed that the glass of temptation, aka the wine, was back on the table. He exhaled and managed to gain a bit more control over himself as their eyes met again.

“So we eat.” Char chewed her lower lip. “Then we get the cake topper, and only one more task?”

“Yup.”

“Should be easy.”

“We’ll be done in no time.” Jake winked.

“We really need to stop saying things like that.” Char sighed as they watched the elderly woman type into the computer using only her pointer fingers.

“Now.” Blanche, the owner of the cake shop, stopped typing. “What was the last name?”

“Titus,” Jake said slowly.

“Can you spell that, please?” The lady smiled, revealing a large set of teeth that looked like the perfect dentures.

“Uh, sure. T, I, T, U, S.”

“T.” She typed and looked up.

Char managed not to laugh but only barely. She had to look away.

“I.” Jake paused.

Sure enough Blanche looked up again. Holy crap, the woman would try the patience of a saint!

“T,” he continued.

“Tit?” Blanche coughed. “What kind of last name is that?”

“No, no, no.” Jake leaned over the counter. “There’s two more letters.”

“Oh!” Blanche touched her hands to her cheeks and laughed. “Dearie, I’m so sorry, this old brain doesn’t work as well as it used to!”

“Does it work at all?” Char mumbled under her breath. Jake elbowed her as he continued spelling.

“U.”

Blanche poked the U button and looked up.

Seriously. They could have baked bread in the time it took that woman to type one name.

“S.”

Both she and Jake exhaled as Blanche finally typed in the last letter and pressed enter on the computer.

They only sound in the tiny shop was the hum of the computer and the light violin music playing in the background. There were cupcakes layered in a glass box in front of the register and a few cake toppers lying around. All in all it was a really small shop.

“Oh no.” Blanche sighed.

Jake glanced at Char, and a look of complete irritation flashed across his perfect features before he said in a strained voice, “Blanche, is something wrong?”

“It’s the topper.”

“Yes?”

“The one we ordered and the one that came in are different. I tried calling the number they gave me but they never returned the call.”

“What number did you have?” Jake asked.

Blanche’s slow hands made their way across the computer. Two minutes later she was reading off a number.

“Grandma.” Char and Jake both said her name as if it was an expletive.

“Why don’t I show it to you and you can decide?” Blanche put her hand in the air. “I’ll go get it. I just need to find it.”

When she disappeared to the back, Char leaned against the counter and sighed. “By the time she gets back I’ll be too old to have children.”

“At least you won’t have all those cats.” Jake winked.

“Wow, helpful, Mr. Sensitive. Thanks.”

He shrugged and looked around the shop. “This doesn’t seem like the type of place Kacey would choose for a cake topper.”

“Tell me about it,” Char grumbled. “The dress I had to try on was awful. I swear I thought Grandma took me to the wrong shop.”

They both gasped and looked at each another.

“Do you think…?” Jake asked.

“What?” Char put her hands on her hips. “That this is some sort of sick joke and Grandma’s doing it on purpose to torture us?”

“No.” Jake shook his head. “You think?”

Char squinted and looked at the door. It was a reputable shop, and the lady did seem to have nice designs. “I don’t think she would stoop so low.”

“She faked her own death to get Kacey and Travis together. Believe me, this is exactly the type of thing she’d do.”

“Here it is!” Blanche showed up with a cake topper that looked perfectly normal. It was a couple who looked like Kacey and Travis, dancing in each other’s arms.

“Not bad.” Jake looked at Blanche. “What’s wrong with it?”

Blanche held up her hand and picked up the stand from the box then set the glass figurine down inside it.

The stand said, “Tits Forever.”

“Holy hell.” Jake swore under his breath. “We can’t take that to the wedding!”

Char covered her mouth with her hand to keep from laughing, then cleared her throat. “Is um, is there any way we can do it without the stand?”

Blanche looked horrified that she would even suggest it. “Without the stand?”

Char nodded.

“Without the stand?” Blanche’s eyes flared.

“Just back up slowly,” Jake whispered, grabbing Char’s hand and shielding her with his body.

“It needs the stand!” Blanche shouted. “Every figurine has a specifically made stand to sit on the cake; otherwise it sinks through. Do you want to ruin this wedding? What type of a bride are you?”

“Oh.” Char peaked around Jake’s body. “I’m not the bride.”

Blanche’s eyes narrowed. “But you’re picking up your cake topper.”

“Maid of honor.” Char raised her hand.

Blanche looked to Jake.

“I, uh,” he stuttered. “I’m the brother. Best man.”

“And you let this happen? You let them order a cake topping with the wrong spelling?” Blanche walked slowly around the counter and faced them. “What type of friends are you?”

“Bad ones,” Jake agreed. “Terrible ones.”

Blanche shook her head. “When’s the wedding?”

“Next week,” Char piped up.

“Well then, good luck telling them you won’t have a cake topper.”

“We’ll take it!” Char shouted from behind Jake.

He swung around. “It says Tits forever. No way in hell is that going on the wedding cake.”

“They need a topper!” Char argued. “You’re a guy. Can’t you just build something for the cake, so we can still use the topper they ordered? It’s really pretty. I mean when you take the ‘Tits’ out.”

Jake cracked a smile.

Char looked away again.

“Damn it.” He pulled out his credit card. “We’ll take it. Stand and all.”

“Lovely.” Blanche smiled. “I’m sure the bride and groom will love it. And if you ever need another cake topper, please be sure to keep Tops R Us in mind.”

“Over my dead body,” Jake mumbled and handed the receipt to Char while he grabbed the box and made his way out the door.

Char followed mindlessly.

They got into the car.

And laughed.

“We really shouldn’t be in charge of things,” Char finally said when she stopped laughing.

“What the hell are we going to do? If that’s the one Kacey ordered she’s going to flip if it’s wrong.”

Char shrugged. “Well, we’ll figure something out. Now let’s finish everything up. We have to leave tomorrow night.”

“Right.”

“Oh, and here.” She handed him the receipt and buckled her seatbelt.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Jake swore fluently and crumpled the receipt in his hand before throwing it against the floor.

“Something wrong?”

“Yeah, that cake topper cost two grand.”

“What?” Char shrieked.

Jake smirked. “Tits sure are expensive these days.”

Char covered her face with her hands and laughed. She froze, however, when she felt Jake reach around and touch the back of her seat to back up. His hand grazed her neck. An involuntary shiver ran through her body.

“Um.” She leaned forward and grabbed the list. “Okay, now we just have to pick up Grandma’s gift.”

“Where to?”

Char squinted. “That’s weird.”

“What?”

“It’s just an address?”

Jake shrugged. “What is it? I’ll put it in the navigation.”

Char read off the address. Luckily, wherever they were going was only a few blocks away from downtown, closer to the college as well as to Queen Anne Hill.

After they turned down the right street Jake added, “I wouldn’t put it past Grandma to get them something inappropriate; just a fair warning.”

“Please.” Char rolled her eyes. “How bad could it be?”

Jake realized that it could be that bad and worse when they pulled up to a drugstore. “I don’t get it. This is the address she gave us?”

He looked at the paper again and then at his watch. It was getting late and as much as he didn’t mind being with Char, there was no chance in hell was he going to actually spend late into the evening with her, not with the way his body was acting. He’d ruin everything. Wow, so now he was turning into a runner. Never thought he’d see that day.

“So should we just leave?” Char asked.

“I’ll call her.” Jake pulled out his phone and dialed Grandma’s number. She answered on the second ring.

“What?”

“We’re at the drugstore. Did you give us the wrong address for the gift?”

“No.”

Damn, the woman could try the patience of a priest. “Right. So is it in the drugstore?”

“Yes, they are.”

“They?”

Grandma yelled something and covered the phone and then cleared her throat. “Yes, just go in and tell them you’re there to pick up the things for Jake Titus.”

“Why’d you put it under my name?”

Grandma paused and then laughed. “Oh, I’ll be right there!”

“Huh?”

“Not you.” She giggled. “It’s under your name because you’re picking everything up. Now just go introduce yourself to the nice manager. He should be working tonight, and he’s expecting you.”

“Grandma, I hate to ask—”

“Then don’t!” The phone went dead.

Jake cursed and put it in his front pocket. “Something tells me we shouldn’t go in.”

Ignoring him, Char opened the door. “Come on, grow a pair. It’s just a drug store. She could have gotten them a gift card or something and needed us to pick it up.”

Jake thought he should really learn to listen to that inner voice. You know, the one that screams
May Day!
or
Red Alert!
when you’re walking into a trap. Everything about going into the drug store screamed trap.

Instead of listening to his inner voice, he ignored it altogether, mainly because Char was walking in front of him and he found himself hypnotized by the sway of her hips. He could do nothing less than follow.

But he really should have stayed where he was.

He knew that the minute they walked into the store and he introduced himself.

“Oh!” Bob, the manager, held out his hand. “We’ve been waiting for you! Now I think I have everything your grandmother needed right here for that wedding night!” He winked.

Jake cringed.

Char looked into the basket.

She really shouldn’t have.

Bob, thinking she couldn’t see, dumped the contents of the basket onto the counter.

“Now.” Bob cleared his throat. “Your grandmother has expressed interest in grandchildren. This is the top of the line fertility test. It will of course show when the lovely lady…” he waved at Char, then looked back at Jake, “will be ovulating. Do you know how to use one of these, miss?”

Char’s eyes widened with horror. Her mouth opened and closed.

Jake laughed nervously. “She uh, I mean we will… figure it out.”

Char gave him a look that said
over my dead body will we be figuring anything out together
. But otherwise she said nothing.

“Now these.” Bob pulled out a box of condoms and waved them in the air. “Oh wait, no that’s not right; they’re the wrong size.”

“We’ll take them.” Jake tried to put the condoms back in the basket but Bob jerked them away just in time.

“Now, young man.” Bob shook his finger in Jake’s face. “You know as well as I do how irresponsible it is to wear a condom that doesn’t exactly fit. Your grandmother and I have been over all your… issues. You need the right size—”

“Perfect!” Jake interrupted, feeling his face heat. “Those are perfect.” He reached for the box but Bob pulled it away and then called in to the intercom.

“Yeah, Stacey, can you run back to aisle three and grab the extra small Trojan box? A customer needs them.”

Good Lord above.

He was going to murder his grandmother.

Jake laughed nervously. “No really, it’s a joke. My grandmother’s joking. I’m not really… I mean, that’s not actually true. I’m not that size; I’m, I’m…” Well shit, what was he supposed to say?

Panicked, he looked to Char for help.

She snickered, then batted her eyelashes at Bob. No. Not a chance in hell she would throw him under the bus like that.

“Jake.” She purred, looping her arm within his. “We’ve talked about this at great length.” Shitty choice of words. “And we’re in agreement. You need to come to terms with your body image. Everyone has their… little, tiny, miniscule, shortcomings. Wouldn’t you say, Bob?”

“I do not have a small p—”

“Here they are!” A girl in her mid-twenties approached the register with the small box and glanced at Jake, then her eyes widened. “Jake? Jake Titus?”

Could a man die from embarrassment?

Stacey. He didn’t remember her name, but he remembered her face. Two months ago, bar in Belltown. What were the odds that the one girl in his life that he couldn’t actually perform for would be in this drugstore? At this moment.