The Visions of Ransom Lake (29 page)

“
I have no idea what you mean,” Vaden forced out in a whisper. She had to get away from him. It was too much, too wonderful to be in his arms, the fire warming them, the scent of the wood burning.

He lowered his voice when he spoke next, and the provocative intonation of it was Vaden’s undoing. In Ransom Lake’s arms, nothing else mattered in the world.

“
Ya want to be treated like a woman, is that it? And ya don’t think I treat ya like one, do ya?” Still holding her tightly against his body with one arm, he raised a hand to her face, cupping her cheek against his palm while his thumb traced the soft outline of her lips. “Well, maybe you’re right. And I’ll confess there’s a reason for that. But there isn’t anybody here now, is there? Nobody to gossip, nobody to get jealous, nobody to scold me.”

Vaden closed her eyes for a moment, trying to believe what was happening. But she opened them again almost immediately to find his storm-filled eyes intent upon her.

“
Do ya want me to kiss ya, Vaden? I mean kiss ya the way I didn’t on those other occasions? There are so many different ways to kiss a woman. The way I kissed ya the first time, that was a teaching kiss—a kiss to prove somethin’. The way I kissed ya the second time, now that—and I’ll say it to ya plain—was a kiss from a man who had been tempted physically by a girl he…”

Vaden opened her mouth to speak, to try to deter him, but no sound escaped her lips.

“
Those other occasions were different. Forced somehow, I guess. I couldn’t possibly have done a good job of it either time before, but look at me now—the fire burnin’ warm, nobody around for miles. So…you just give me the chance, Vaden Valmont, and I’ll kiss you like I didn’t have time to before.”

Vaden closed her eyes once more, digging deep within herself for something to cling to, something to anchor her to reality. She had to refuse him. To save herself, her heart, she must refuse him, remove herself from his embrace. But there was nothing—only Ransom Lake standing before her, the vision and feel of her love for him permeating her heart, mind, and soul. The desire was too strong. She wanted nothing else in that moment but to feel his lips on hers again. To taste his divinely perfect kiss.

“
You can trust me, ya know, sweet thing. I’m no rounder,” he said.

Then, before she could stop herself, she heard a barely audible, “I know it,” escape her mouth. She prayed he hadn’t been teasing her, hadn’t been tormenting her just to make a fool of her—to prove her a child. But this was Ransom Lake, and he was not capable of rendering such a cruel gesture to her. As he pulled her even tighter against his body, her hands rested gently on his solid, muscular chest, and she could only stare into the warm storm in his eyes as he grinned triumphantly for a moment before his face went solemn as it moved down toward hers. But an instant before his lips would’ve touched hers, Vaden turned from him and tried to push herself away.

“
Vaden?” he asked quietly.

“
I’m…I’m not good at it,” she confessed, ashamed somehow of her innocence and inexperience.

He took her chin in his hand and turned her face to his once more, an amused grin warming his features. “Vaden…you’re good at everything. I wouldn’t be tryin’ this on you again if ya hadn’t a boiled my blood the very first time.”

“
But you’re…you’re
Ransom Lake
,” she told him, as if he weren’t aware of the fact.

“
Yes, I am,” was all he whispered before he suddenly took her lips to his before she could shy away again.

His first kisses were like honeyed confection, sweet and tender, but after a few moments she felt his hand caress the back of her bodice as it traveled from her waist, over her back, finally entangling itself in the softness of her hair. He tugged ever so gently on her hair, and she tipped her head back slightly, gasping as she felt his kiss leave her lips and travel to her neck. He placed several long, soft kisses on her throat. The impassioned turbulence in his eyes captured her bliss-filled ones a moment before his kiss to her mouth was hers again, full, demanding, and enrapturing every fiber of her being.

Vaden understood in that moment there was nothing to be gained from experience when it came to returning a man’s kiss. She knew either a woman loved a man, and for that reason her soul and body knew how to kiss him, or she didn’t, and her soul, mind, and body had no cause to want to kiss him. However, Vaden knew with everything she was, with all her femininity, Ransom Lake was a man whose kiss went far beyond that of the average man. Ransom Lake was unusually proficient at it—the way his arms held her, the way his chest rose and fell with his breathing, the way he toyed with her mouth one moment and exhausted it with overwhelming and demanding passion the next. Vaden perceived she was made to fit his kiss perfectly—to return it the way he would most enjoy and relish.

Suddenly, however, he pushed her away gently, taking several steps backward as he ran his fingers through his hair, an expression of confusion on his face.

“
What am I doin’?” he mumbled, a look akin to panic puckering the brow of his handsome face. Vaden felt self-conscious and somehow ashamed. “Your Uncle Dan would kill me. What am I doin’?” Then he lunged forward, taking her face between his hands as he nearly shouted, “What are ya doin’ to me?”

“
Nothing!” Vaden forced the defense from her lungs as tears escaped her eyes. “I-I haven’t done anything.”

His fingers went to her lips, caressing them with unusual softness as his hands shook anxiously. Taking her chin firmly in his trembling hand, he pulled her face to his once more, ravaging her mouth with a final, moist, intensely passionate kiss. When he ended it, slowly, tenderly, his trembling had ceased, and he smiled at Vaden understandingly.

“
I’ve never tasted anything as satisfyingly delicious as you, Vaden. Not in my whole life. I think you’re my favorite flavor.” Then he turned from her, retrieved another log from the nearby pile, and tossed it into the hearth. “Now you go on over there and cuddle up on that sofa…alone. We’ll get ya home first thing in the mornin’. And…uh…this…this business between me and you…I know you’ll understand when I say that…it’s just the moment here. The situation nearly demanded that I…the loneliness of the night and atmosphere.”

She wanted to scream,
No! I don’t understand! I love you, and you must at least care for me, else you wouldn’t have told me your secrets. Why can’t it happen every day, every minute?
But she nodded and muttered, “Yes.”

She sat for long minutes that turned into an hour, simply staring into the flames of the fire as the wind moaned outside, causing anxiety to settle into her mind. Ransom Lake continued to sit on the floor before the hearth, toying with the poker every now and again, causing sparks to rise and crackle from the burning logs.

“
I’ve learned a lot tonight, haven’t I, Mr. Lake?” Vaden said softly as she finally stretched out on the sofa, pulling to her shoulders a dusty, heavy quilt folded in half long ago and laid on the back of it. He sat down on the floor before her, resting his back against the sofa. “I’ve grown up quickly tonight. I’ve learned the elements of heaven and earth can endanger a person’s life. I’ve learned there are things people have witnessed, have experienced…things only nightmares are made of. Things that eat their hearts away and leave their minds scarred and tormented. Things that can never be forgotten or put aside.”

“
It’s a lot to realize in such a short time. But that’s usually how such things go. They blindside ya. Ya don’t expect them or see them comin’,” Ransom Lake added. He put down the poker he still had in hand, turned, and looked at her. “And what else have ya learned, Vaden?” His gray eyes narrowed, his features soft, his chest rising and falling slowly with his calm breathing.

She smiled at him, though she was beginning to feel sleepy. “I’ve learned I was right about you, Mr. Lake.”

“
Ya were?”

“
You are an angel in disguises. Disguises both physical and of character.”

He smiled and shook his head. “Ya think you’re pretty smart, don’t ya?”

“
I am. I am very smart, Mr. Lake” she answered, returning the warmth of his smile in her own. She would not call him by his given name, for she sensed it would be her complete undoing. She sensed she would lose her ability to resist throwing herself at his feet and begging for his love. She smiled mischievously at him then and whispered, “I’m so smart I’ve figured out that you’re twenty six years old. I think you look twenty-six.”

He chuckled and shook his head, amused at her again. “Is that good or bad?”

“
You figure it out,” she giggled softly. Her eyelids were feeling heavy and hard to keep open. Even though the dream-borne vision of Ransom Lake was only inches away from her, an apparition of reality before her very tired eyes, she was giving into the warmth of the room and the need for rest. Her anxiety about the storm was gone, for the security he radiated was strong and reassuring. Just before her eyes closed completely and she drifted off to sleep, Ransom Lake pressed his thumb to his lips, placing the same thumb to her own lips for a moment.

“
Goodnight, Sleepin’ Beauty,” he whispered.

“
Cinderella,” she corrected, and she heard him chuckling as she drifted into a light, uncomfortable sleep.



She dreamt visions, horrid visions that might have tainted the memory of Ransom Lake. She could smell the death at the wagon train when the young man had returned to find his family slaughtered. She could smell the dirt as the young man dug shallow graves, hear the sound of the shovel cutting the earth as he worked. She could feel the grief, the overwhelming, unendurable grief piercing his heart every minute for days, weeks, and years to come. And the pain of the grief was suffocating. It burned in her throat as she watched the visions in her mind. It hurt her limbs and body.

Vaden awoke with a start, her muscles aching from the tension in her body. She couldn’t move for a moment, paralyzed with the grief and horror of her dreams. When finally she could move, she looked to see Ransom Lake standing before the hearth once more. Her intuition told her he hadn’t slept as she had—hadn’t dozed for even a moment. He stood staring into the fire, blazing warm and orange. His feet were planted firmly apart, and his massive, muscular arms were folded across his chest. He had removed his shirt, and it lay haphazardly over the arm of a nearby chair. Vaden was quiet for long moments just watching the man who watched the fire. His frown was intense and furrowed his brow deeply. He was lost in his thoughts, and she knew they were grim, for his jaw was clearly tensed. The room was still only lit by the fire, burning almost too violently, heating the room beyond comfortable. No light streamed in through the dusty windows, and Vaden surmised it was still very early morning. So deep in thought was Ransom Lake, in fact, he didn’t see Vaden rise quietly from the sofa, and he did not turn to look at her when she quietly walked to stand behind the man.

Vaden’s heart was heavy in her bosom with the sympathy she felt for the man she loved. What tragic horror he had endured. It was no wonder to her he had withdrawn from the world, hidden himself away from any chance of being hurt again. Then her love for him, her profound and endless love for him, coupled with the anguish in her heart for his pain, overtook her prudence, and she moved forward, pressing her cheek to his back as her arms encircled his waist in a loving embrace. Immediately, she felt his body stiffen, and his hands covered her own linked one with the other at his waist.

“
I’m so sorry, for you, Mr. Lake. For your pain. I’m sorry everything was taken from you so violently. I’m sorry for the scars it left in your heart and soul,” she whispered to him. Vaden scolded herself inwardly, for she felt the fool then. Ransom Lake had confided his deepest secrets to her, and as she looked back on the conversation now, she was angry with herself, for her experience on Halloween paled so greatly to his. Further, he had blamed himself for her pain of that night. He had only placed further burdens on his already guilt-ridden mind. As her tears moistened the flesh of his back, she whispered once more, “I’m sorry.”

“
Thank you,” he mumbled as he removed her hands from his waist and walked forward and out of her embrace. “Only I’m not certain if I did the right thing in tellin’ you.”

“
Of course you did,” she assured him, a bit embarrassed at acting so familiar with him. “A burden is not meant to be borne alone.”

“
But now I’ve taxed your mind with the horror of it. You’ll never be free of the knowledge again.” He paused, clearing his throat, yet he still mumbled when he continued. “It was wrong of me to deprive ya of your innocence in yet another area of life.” He turned to face her, his eyes narrowed, his voice low and angry as he spoke. “I’ve corrupted you in a manner. Before I interfered, ya knew no difference between the touch of one man compared to another. Ya knew nothin’ about the weakness of a man when his physical desires were taunted. Ya knew nothin’ about such horrors as murder, mutilation, and guilt.”

“
You make me sound like quite the complete idiot, Mr. Lake,” Vaden snapped at him. “Aren’t all those things part of human existence? Just because I experienced them at your hand doesn’t mean I am corrupted! I think what you really mean to say is in your eyes I’m marred somehow. Weak because I succumbed to your…to your…”

“
To me,” he prodded.

“
Yes. Thank you.”

“
I meant no such thing, and ya know it,” he argued then. “I only meant to say that…you’ve changed in the past weeks, and don’t deny it is mostly on my head.”