Authors: Cathy Woodman
Tags: #Literature & Fiction, #Contemporary, #Romance, #Contemporary Fiction, #Literary
And a few bottles of champagne, I think.
‘… we’ve put our difficulties aside. I would like to confirm that I have been elected as chair in the proper manner, while we have made Fifi, who has served us so well over many years, our honorary president.’ Diane searches for me. ‘Tessa, come and join us.’
‘Oh no,’ I say, but it’s Jack who steps forward, offers me his hand and leads me onto the stage where Diane delivers her thanks for my work at the Sanctuary and confirms that the money has come through from the trust fund, ready to be spent on extending the kennel block and replacing the shed.
‘And the vets’ bills,’ I finish for her.
‘Hear hear,’ Alex Fox-Gifford’s voice calls from one of the tables at the back of the room.
‘Dad, grab that mike, will you?’ I say, as Diane is about to pass it over to Fifi. ‘Don’t let her get started.’
‘But I have so much to say,’ my aunt protests, and it’s for exactly that reason that I want Dad to retrieve the microphone, because if my aunt gets going, she’ll never stop.
The auction is a success, raising much more than I ever expected with the highest bid going for a year’s supply of cupcakes from Jennie’s Cakes and the least for a jar of Frances’s prize-winning pickle. At the end, the band strikes up once more and my aunt clambers onto the table to dance with my mum.
‘What’s wrong with those two?’ I ask my dad. A ticket for the ball appears to be a licence to misbehave, and the older their generation becomes, the worse they get. They are outrageous.
‘I know what you’re thinking, that they have no decorum,’ he says with a broad grin, ‘but those two girls certainly know how to have fun. Cheer up, Tessa. Why don’t you have a dance with your old dad? Come on.’ He holds out his arm. ‘I won’t take no for an answer.’
I dance, but my heart isn’t in it. I should have been dancing with Jack.
Later, I check my watch as the band strikes up ‘Hi-
Ho
Silver Lining’ and most of the couples who are sitting at the tables take to the floor. It’s approaching midnight and I don’t want to be here when the slow dances start, so I make my escape, heading up the next flight of stairs to the balcony with a drink in my hand to look out at the sea glittering in the moonlight and the rocks that are humped on top of each other along the beach. On the lawn below, the committee – Fifi, Wendy, Diane, Frances and the rest, and my mum and dad – are playing mini-golf with fluorescent golf balls. I can hear their laughter and the occasional knock of a club hitting a ball, and I smile to myself. That’s one thing sorted.
I lean over the railings, taking in deep breaths of salt air.
‘Hey, Tess?’ I jump at the sound of my name. ‘Don’t jump, will you?’
‘Jack?’ I say, turning to face him.
‘I, uh, saw you walking up the stairs. Can I join you?’
‘Feel free.’ I take a sip of wine: Dutch courage. Keep it light, I think, my pulse flickering and dying again at the thought that Jack and I are alone together, but nothing can happen because he is with Karen. Where is Karen? I wonder. If I was Jack’s girlfriend, I wouldn’t let him out of my sight, not because I didn’t trust him, but because I couldn’t bear to be apart from him, even for a minute. I bite my lip. Is that why he took me up and dropped me? Because he interpreted my willingness to fall into bed with him as desperation and fore-saw a lifetime with a girlfriend as clingy as a limpet?
‘Hole in one!’ someone screams from the mini-golf course below.
‘That was my ball, not yours. You hit the wrong one.’ It’s Fifi and Diane bickering again.
‘I didn’t.’
‘Did!’
‘Oh no, she didn’t,’ my dad’s voice joins in.
‘Oh yes, she did …’ There’s more laughter and general agreement to go back inside, and silence descends.
‘They’re mad,’ Jack begins. ‘A slave for a day. It seemed such a great idea at the time.’
‘Thanks for offering yourself up like that,’ I say. ‘I didn’t realise you were going to dress up.’
‘Dress down, I think you mean. Your dad thought it would be a bit of fun, and it probably was – for everyone else. Diane has wandering hands.’ He smiles ruefully. ‘How on earth am I going to survive a whole day with her?’
‘I don’t know,’ I say, thinking that if he hadn’t been with Karen, I would have put in a bid.
‘It’s a beautiful view from here,’ he says, but he isn’t looking at the sea. He’s gazing at me, and I can’t help wondering if he’s slightly drunk.
‘Shouldn’t you be elsewhere?’
‘Probably.’ He clears his throat. ‘Tess, I wish—’
‘Don’t,’ I cut in quickly. ‘Please don’t mention it again. Whatever it was, it’s over. I’ve moved on.’
‘Have you really?’ I can read disappointment in Jack’s voice. ‘You pretend you’re so hard—’
‘You took advantage,’ I say harshly. ‘That night …’
‘I know that’s how it looks now, but I didn’t intend it to work out this way.’
‘I suppose I didn’t turn out to be the kind of lover you expected. I didn’t quite do it for you,’ I say bitterly.
‘It wasn’t like that. Tess, I never meant to hurt you.’
‘Change the record, Jack. I’ve heard it all before.’ I stare out to sea, wishing I was anywhere but here.
‘What’s
wrong with you men? You’re all so bloody predictable. Look at Nathan, hooking up with my best friend. Why Katie of all people?’
‘They’ve been together for a long time,’ Jack says quietly.
‘Not that long, a couple of weeks, that’s all.’ I frown as I try to read Jack’s expression in the near-darkness.
‘It’s quite a bit longer than that. Nathan has been living at Katie’s flat since he was forced to move out of your old house when it was repossessed.’
‘How long?’ I don’t let him answer, continuing, ‘Katie wouldn’t lie to me.’
‘She might to protect her reputation – what’s left of it, anyway.’
‘You never have had a very high opinion of her, have you?’
‘With good reason.’
I look back at the sea as the clouds move across the moon, gradually blocking it out, so everything, the sky, the water and beach, grows black.
‘What do you know that I don’t? Jack, tell me.’ Instinctively, I know he’s telling the truth and Katie has been lying to me. ‘Please don’t leave me in the dark.’
‘I wasn’t going to say anything – sometimes it’s better to let sleeping dogs lie.’
‘Jack, please,’ I repeat. I need to know.
‘Your bridegroom was seeing Katie before the wedding.’
It takes me a moment to realise that he means before my wedding, the one that didn’t happen, and it’s as if someone has smashed the balcony away from beneath my feet. I grab the railings and hold on, my knees buckling in shock as Jack wraps his arms around me.
‘Are you all right, Tess?’ he murmurs.
‘I’m okay. I feel a bit faint, that’s all.’ I force a smile. ‘Too much champagne, I expect.’
‘I’ve been watching you – you haven’t been drinking.’ Jack touches my cheek. I shouldn’t, but I rest my head against his chest. ‘I caught Nathan and Katie in Nathan’s car the night before you were getting married, and they weren’t talking, if you know what I mean.’
‘Where? No, spare me the gory details.’
‘I tried to call you, but you weren’t answering your phone, and I went round to your house, but you weren’t there.’
‘I was at my parents’ house.’
‘Yep, I tried there as well, but your mum wouldn’t let me in. She said you were washing your hair, or having an early night. Either way, it was a lame excuse.’
‘Why didn’t you text me?’
‘I did, several times, and you didn’t respond. I wrestled with my conscience all night, torn between opening your eyes to what your fiancé and bridesmaid were really like, and letting you continue in blissful ignorance. When I decided that I had to tell you, all I could do was crash the wedding. I didn’t do it on impulse, or out of self-interest, much as that’s what everyone would like to believe. Tess,’ he goes on, hoarse with emotion, ‘I did it for you.’
‘But you didn’t explain.’ I start to cry, hot tears rolling down my face.
‘No one gave me the chance, and you wouldn’t let me near you afterwards.’
‘You could have raised the subject when we began working together at the Sanctuary.’ We’ve been so
close
, as close as a man and woman can be, and yet he never mentioned it.
‘I didn’t want to rake it all up again. You seemed happy enough and I didn’t want to see you upset. Tess, I hate seeing you upset.’ He pauses, reaching up to stroke my hair. ‘Anyway, you seemed okay with Nathan and Katie being an item.’
‘I did – for Katie’s sake – and before this revelation.’ I feel completely and utterly betrayed. ‘How could she? How could Katie dress up as my chief bridesmaid and tell me how lucky I was, when all the time she was sleeping with my fiancé behind my back? She even told me how she couldn’t fancy him in a million years because he wasn’t her type. And why did Nathan do it? Wasn’t I enough for him either?’ I glance up at Jack’s handsome face.
‘Oh, why am I spilling my guts out to you? Go away. Go back to your girlfriend,’ I say, pushing him away, my palms on his chest, ‘though goodness knows, it’s been a very long time since she was a girl.’
I hear the catch in Jack’s throat as he steps back, releasing me from his embrace.
‘I’m sorry. I’m being a bitch. She seems … very nice.’
‘Jack? Jack, are you there?’ a voice calls from the bottom of the staircase.
‘I’m on my way,’ Jack shouts back, but the sound of footsteps draws close before he can make a move, and Karen appears at the top of the stairs.
‘I’ve been looking for you. Oh,’ she says, casting a questioning glance at me, before turning to Jack. ‘Is everything all right?’ she asks coolly.
‘Everything’s fine,’ Jack says, and I’m grateful that he doesn’t try to explain why I’m standing here in tears. I can see, though, from the look on Karen’s face
that
he is going to have to explain why he’s up here with me to her later.
‘It’s almost time for the last dance,’ Karen says quietly, ‘if you want to dance it with me.’
‘Of course I do,’ Jack says. ‘Goodnight, Tess,’ he adds gently.
I wait on the balcony, listening to their footsteps fade and the band playing a slow number, ‘The Sea of Love’, in the distance. I don’t want to go back down, but I have to. I sneak downstairs to the cloakroom to wash my face and dry my eyes. To my horror, Katie is in there too, rinsing her hands and checking her hair. She gives me a half smile and asks me what’s wrong.
‘How could you?’ I say, giving her a hard stare. ‘You’ve lied and deceived me, your best friend.’
‘What’s Jack been saying to you?’
‘You know very well. You’ve known all along. That’s why you didn’t want us getting together, because you were afraid he was going to drop you right in it. What did you think you were doing, sleeping with my fiancé and on the night before the wedding?’ It sounds like some tacky soap opera: chief bridesmaid sleeps with groom. ‘Why?’
‘Because … Because … I don’t know why. It just happened, he asked me to meet him, I thought it was about choosing presents for the bridesmaids, and one thing led to another.’
‘Why didn’t you say no, for goodness’ sake?’
‘I couldn’t resist,’ Katie says. ‘I was flattered. Call me shallow, but Nathan said I had a cute bum.’
It’s ridiculous, because the single thought in my mind is that he never said that to me. The bastard. Why did he go out with me in the first place? To me, he was a charming outsider and it was like choosing an exotic
pet
over a cat or dog. Although he said I’d have made a slutty wife, I don’t think he meant it. I was wife material: caring, maternal and respectable, a woman you would be happy to introduce to your parents, whereas it was Katie who was the slutty one. There was a time just before the wedding when Nathan mentioned me signing a prenup guaranteeing him his conjugal rights twice a week. It was supposed to be a joke at the time, but I’m not so sure now.
‘I’m sorry.’ Katie steps towards me, holding out her arms. ‘What’s done is done. Friends?’
‘Oh no, never again,’ I say, turning away. ‘I’ll never forgive you for this.’
When I’m on the way back to the Sanctuary with my mum and dad in a taxi, my dad tries to console me.
‘With friends like her, who needs enemies? They deserve each other.’
‘Forget Katie and her tangled love life,’ Mum says, her words a little slurred. ‘That was a lovely evening, Tessa.’
‘I think it was worth it,’ I say. ‘It looks as if we’ve raised at least three thousand pounds with the ticket price, auction and a couple of generous donations.’
‘There’ll be some major hangovers tomorrow morning,’ Dad says.
‘Everyone will be fine after a Bloody Mary and some aspirin,’ Mum says.
‘Would you like us to stay over?’ Dad asks when we arrive in the car park. ‘I think we should … It’s very quiet out here in the countryside.’
‘Hardly,’ I say, hearing Tia howling in the bungalow. ‘I’ll be all right, Dad.’
‘You haven’t got the black dog any more.’
‘He went this morning,’ I say, biting my lip.