The Very Picture of You (3 page)

Clare turned the page again. ‘And there’s the Duchess of Cornwall. She looks rather humorous.’

‘She is, and that’s the quality I most wanted people to see.’

‘And did the Prince like it?’

I gave a shrug. ‘He seemed to. He said nice things about it when he came to the unveiling at the National Portrait Gallery last month.’

Clare turned to the next photo. ‘And who’s this girl with the cropped hair?’

‘That’s my sister, Chloë. She works for an ethical PR agency called PRoud, so they handle anything to do with fair trade, green technology, organic food and farming – that kind of thing.’

Clare nodded thoughtfully. ‘She’s very like your mother.’

‘She is – she has her fair complexion and ballerina
physique.’ Whereas I am dark and sturdy, I reflected balefully – more Paula Rego than Degas.

Clare peered at the painting. ‘But she looks so…
sad
– distressed, almost.’

I hesitated. ‘She was breaking up with someone – it was a difficult time; but she’s fine now,’ I went on firmly. Even if her new boyfriend’s vile, I didn’t add.

My phone was ringing. I answered it.

‘Where
are
you?’ Mum demanded softly. ‘It’s ten to seven – nearly everyone’s here.’

‘Oh, sorry, but I’m not quite finished.’ I glanced at Clare, who was still flicking through the portfolio.

‘You said you’d come
early.
’

‘I know – I’ll be there in twenty minutes, promise.’ I hung up. I looked at Clare. ‘I’m afraid I have to go now…’ I went to my work table and dipped some dirty brushes in the jar of turps.

‘Of course…’ she said, without looking up. ‘That’s the singer Cecilia Bartoli.’ She turned to the final image. ‘And who’s this friendly looking man with the bow tie?’

I pulled the brushes through a sheet of newspaper to squeeze out the paint. ‘That’s my father.’

‘Your father?’

‘Yes.’ I did my best to ignore the surprise in her voice. ‘Roy Graham. He’s an orthopaedic surgeon – semi-retired.’ I went to the sink, aware of Clare’s curious gaze on my back.

‘But in
The Times
—’

‘He plays a lot of golf…’ I rubbed washing-up liquid into the bristles. ‘At the Royal Mid-Surrey – it’s not far from where they live, in Richmond.’

‘In
The Times
it said that—’

‘He also plays bridge.’ I turned on the tap. ‘I’ve never played, but people say it’s fun once you get into it.’ I rinsed and dried the brushes, then laid them on my work table, ready for the next day. ‘Right…’ I looked at Clare, willing her to leave.

She put the tape recorder and notes into her bag then stood up. ‘I hope you don’t mind my asking you this,’ she said. ‘But as it was in the newspaper, I assume you talk about it.’

My fingers trembled as I screwed the top back on a tube of titanium white. ‘Talk about what?’

‘Well… the article said that you were adopted when you were eight…’ Heat spilled into my face. ‘And that your name was changed—’

‘I don’t know where they got that.’ I untied my apron. ‘Now I really
must
—’

‘It said that your real father left when you were five.’

By now my heart was battering against my ribcage. ‘My real father is Roy Graham,’ I said quietly. ‘And that’s all there is to it.’ I hung my apron on its hook. ‘But thank you for coming.’ I opened the studio door. ‘If you could let yourself out…’

Clare gave me a puzzled smile. ‘Of course.’

As soon as she’d gone, I furiously rubbed at my paint-stained fingers with a turps-soaked rag then quickly washed my face and tidied my hair. I put on some black trousers and my green velvet coat and was about to go and unlock my bike when I remembered that the front light was broken. I groaned. I’d have to get the bus, or a cab – whichever turned up first. At least Chelsea Old Town Hall wasn’t far.

I ran up to the King’s Road and got to the stop just as a number 11 was pulling up, its windows blocks of yellow in the gathering dusk.

As we trundled over the bridge I reflected bitterly on Clare’s intrusiveness, yet she’d only repeated what she’d read in
The Times
. I felt a burst of renewed fury that something so intensely private was now online…

‘Would you
please
take that paragraph out,’ I’d asked the reporter, Hamish Watt, when I’d tracked him down an hour or so after I’d first seen the article. As I’d gripped the phone my knuckles were white. ‘I was horrified when I saw it – please
remove
it.’

‘No,’ he’d replied. ‘It’s part of the story.’

‘But you didn’t
ask
me about it,’ I’d protested. ‘When you interviewed me at the National Portrait Gallery last week you talked only about my work.’

‘Yes – but I already had some background about you – that your mother had been a dancer, for example. I also happened to know a bit about your family circumstances.’

‘
How
?’

There was a momentary hesitation. ‘I’m a journalist,’ he answered, as though that were sufficient explanation.

‘Please cut that bit out,’ I’d implored him again.

‘I can’t,’ he’d insisted. ‘And you were perfectly happy to be interviewed, weren’t you?’

‘Yes,’ I agreed weakly. ‘But if I’d known what you were going to write I’d have refused. You said that the article would be about my painting, but a good third of it was very personal and I’m uncomfortable about that.’

‘Well, I’m sorry you’re unhappy,’ he’d said unctuously.
‘But as publicity is undoubtedly helpful to artists, I suggest you learn to take the rough with the smooth.’ With that, he’d hung up…

It would be on the Internet for ever, I now thought dismally – for anyone to see. Anyone at all… The thought of it made me feel sick. I’d simply have to find a way to deal with it, I reflected as we passed the World’s End pub.

My father is Roy Graham.

My father is Roy Graham and he’s a wonderful father.

I’ve got a father, thank you. His name is Roy Graham…

To distract myself I thought about work. I was starting a new portrait in the morning. Then on Thursday Mike Johns, MP, was coming for his fourth sitting – there’d been quite a gap since the last one as he said he’d been too busy; and yesterday I’d had that enquiry about painting a Mrs Carr – her daughter, Sophia, had contacted me through my website. Then there’d be the new commission from tonight – not that it was going to make me any money, I reflected regretfully as we passed Heal’s. I stood up and pressed the bell.

I got off the bus, crossed the road and followed a knot of smartly dressed people up the steps of the town hall. I walked down the black-and-white tiled corridor, showed my invitation, then pushed on the doors of the main hall, next to which was a large sign:
Save The Children – Gala Auction.

The ornate blue-and-ochre room was already full, the stertorous chatter almost drowning out the string trio that was valiantly playing away on one side of the stage.
Aproned waiters circulated with trays of canapés and drinks. The air was almost viscous with scent.

I picked up a programme and skim-read the introduction.
Five million children at risk in Malawi… hunger in Kenya… continuing crisis in Zimbabwe… in desperate need of help…
Then came the list of lots – twenty of which were in the Silent Auction, while the ten ‘star’ lots were to be auctioned live. These included a week in a Venetian palazzo, a luxury break at the Ritz, tickets for the first night of
Swan Lake
at Covent Garden with Carlos Acosta, a shopping trip to Harvey Nichols with Gok Wan, a dinner party for eight cooked by Gordon Ramsay and an evening dress designed by Maria Grachvogel. There was an electric guitar signed by Paul McCartney and a Chelsea FC shirt signed by the current squad. The final lot was
A portrait commission by Gabriella Graham, kindly donated by the artist.
As I looked at the crowd I wondered who I’d end up painting.

Suddenly I spotted Roy, waving. He walked towards me. ‘Ella-Bella!’ He placed a paternal kiss on my cheek.

Damn Clare, I thought.
Here
was my father.

‘Hello, Roy.’ I nodded at his daffodil-dotted bow tie. ‘Nice neckwear. Haven’t seen that one before, have I?’

‘It’s new – thought I’d christen it tonight in honour of the spring. Now,
you
need some fizz…’ He glanced around for a waiter.

‘I’d love some. It’s been a long day.’

Roy got me a glass of champagne and handed it to me with an appraising glance. ‘So, how’s our Number One Girl?’

I smiled at the familiar, affectionate appellation. ‘I’m fine, thanks. Sorry I’m late.’

‘Your mum was getting
slightly
twitchy, but then this is a big event. Ah, here she comes…’

My mother was gliding through the crowd towards us, her slender frame swathed in amethyst chiffon, her ash-blonde hair swept into a perfect French pleat.

She held out her arms to me. ‘
El
-la.’ Her tone suggested a reproach rather than a greeting. ‘I’d almost given
up
on you, darling.’ As she kissed me I inhaled the familiar scent of her Fracas. ‘Now, I need you to be on hand to talk to people about the portrait commission. We’ve put the easel over there, look, in the presentation area, and I’ve made you a label so that people will know who you are.’ She opened her mauve satin clutch, took out a laminated name badge and had already pinned it to my lapel before I could protest about the mark it might leave on the velvet. ‘I’m hoping the portrait will fetch a high price. We’re aiming to raise seventy-five thousand pounds tonight.’

‘Well, fingers crossed.’ I adjusted the badge. ‘But you’ve got some great items.’

‘And
all
donated,’ she said wonderingly. ‘We haven’t had to buy anything. Everyone’s been
so
generous.’

‘Only because you’re so persuasive,’ said Roy. ‘I often think you could persuade the rain not to fall, Sue, I really do.’

Mum gave him an indulgent smile. ‘I’m just focused and well organised. I know how I want things to
be
.’

‘You’re formidable,’ Roy said amiably, ‘in both the English
and
the French meaning of that word.’ He raised his glass. ‘Here’s to you, Sue – and to a successful event.’

I sipped my champagne then nodded at the empty podium. ‘So who’s wielding the gavel?’

Mum adjusted her pashmina. ‘Tim Spiers. He’s ex-Christie’s and brilliant at cajoling people into parting with their cash – having said which, I’ve instructed the waiters to keep topping up the glasses.’

Roy laughed. ‘That’s right – get the punters pissed.’

‘No – just in a good
mood
,’ Mum corrected him. ‘Then they’re much more, well, biddable,’ she concluded wryly. ‘But if things are a bit slow…’ she lowered her voice ‘…then I’d like
us
to do a little strategic bidding.’

My heart sank. ‘I’d rather not.’

Mum gave me one of her ‘disappointed’ looks. ‘It’s just to get things going – you wouldn’t have to
buy
anything, Ella.’

‘But… if no one outbids me, I
might.
These are expensive lots, Mum, and I’ve a huge mortgage – it’s too risky.’

‘You’re donating a portrait,’ said Roy. ‘That’s more than enough.’ Too right, I thought crossly. ‘
I’ll
do some bidding, Sue,’ he added. ‘Up to a limit, though.’

Mum laid her palm on his cheek – a typical gesture. ‘
Thank you
. I’m sure Chloë will bid too.’

I glanced around the crowd. ‘Where
is
Chloë?’

‘She’s on her way,’ Roy replied. ‘With Nate.’

A groan escaped me.

Mum shook her head. ‘I don’t know
why
you have to be like that, Ella. Nate’s delightful.’

‘Really?’ I sipped my champagne again. ‘Can’t say I’d noticed.’

‘You hardly know him,’ she retorted quietly.

‘That’s true. I’ve only met him once.’ But that one time had been more than enough. It had been at a drinks party that Chloë had given last November…

‘Any special reason for having it?’ I’d asked her over the phone after I’d opened the elegant invitation.

‘It’s because I haven’t had a party for so long – I’ve neglected my friends. It’s also because I’m feeling a lot more cheerful at the moment, be
cause
…’ She drew in her breath. ‘Ella… I’ve met someone.’

Relief flooded through me. ‘That’s
great.
So… what’s he like?’

‘He’s thirty-six,’ she’d replied. ‘Tall with very short black hair, and lovely green eyes.’

To my surprise I had to suppress a pang of envy. ‘He sounds gorgeous.’

‘He is – and he’s
not
married.’

‘Well… that’s good.’

‘Oh, and he’s from New York. He’s been in London about a year.’

‘And what does this paragon do?’

‘He’s in private equity.’

‘So he can stand you dinner then.’

‘Yes – but I like to pay for things too.’

‘So are you… an item?’

‘
Sort
of – we’ve been on five dates. But he said he’s looking forward to the party, so that’s a good sign. I know you’re going to
love
him,’ she added happily.

So, a fortnight later, I’d cycled over to Putney, through a veil of fog. And I was locking up my bike outside Chloë’s flat at the end of Askill Drive when I heard a taxi pull up just around the corner in Keswick Road. As the door clicked open I could hear the passenger talking on his mobile. Although he spoke softly his voice somehow carried through the mist and darkness.

‘I’m
sorry
, but I can’t,’ I heard him say. He was American. Realising that this could be Chloë’s new man I found myself tuning in to his conversation. ‘I really
can’t
,’ he reiterated as the cab door slammed shut. ‘Because I’ve just gotten to Putney for a drinks party, that’s why…’ So it
was
him. ‘No… I don’t
want
to go.’ I felt my insides twist. ‘But I’m here now, honey, and so… just some girl,’ he added as the cab drove away. ‘No, no… she’s nothing special,’ he added quietly. By now my face was aflame. ‘I
can’t
get out of it,’ he protested. ‘Because I promised, that’s why – and she’s been going on and
on
about it.’ My hands shook as I unclipped my front light. ‘Okay, honey – I’ll come over later. Yes… that
is
a promise. No… I’ll let myself in… You too, honey…’