12 August 1793 Evening
CATHERINE HEARD IT first a week ago, dismissing it as a gross exaggeration, but today’s events proved it. Someone described Robespierre’s rule as a reign of terror. On her way to see Thomas, Catherine tried to forget politics by listening to the horses’ hooves on the cobbled streets. Since Xavier had fled Thomas once again, no one had heard from Thomas, so Catherine went to check on him. The ride gave her too much time to think as the horses forced their way through the mob, though no one threatened because Robespierre’s minions lurked on every corner.
Her visit to Robespierre earlier that afternoon had shaken and convinced her that it was terror. He and his armies used the guillotine frequently and otherwise imprisoned vast numbers of people, especially if they resisted conscription into his army. His government also banned Roman Catholicism in France. When peasants who otherwise cared little about the revolution protested the closing of their churches, he arrested them and often killed to make his point. Recalcitrant priests were hunted and murdered. Merely professing an affinity for the Church brought these men of the cloth death. So it hardly surprised Catherine when she received notice to appear before him on this day on charges that she operated a counterrevolutionary salon.
Catherine dutifully went to him, surprised to find the man himself presiding over his kangaroo court. To her advantage, Robespierre was a man susceptible to charm and flirting. Catherine hated the treatment afforded women, but on this occasion she used it to her advantage. She took a double dose of Marcel’s medicine that morning because it aroused her into seduction. She was deferential toward Robespierre, smiled a lot, and giggled at everything he said. Within seconds, she won the beast over and he dismissed the case without even hearing her testimony.
As the horses rounded a corner too quickly, her latest letter from Marcel dropped out of her bag. She snatched it off the carriage floor and read again his request for funds and control over the Saint-Laurent American interests. He promised to make them thousands. But she could not accomplish such a major transaction without Xavier’s signature, and he still refused.
“Marcel is dangerous,” Xavier told her again that morning. “Be patient and you’ll learn why. If I don’t prove this soon, I’ll sign everything you want me to.”
The bottom of Marcel’s letter stressed again how she had to continue taking her medication or the headaches would return, fiercer than ever. She wished that he would stop pestering her about it and just believe that she never missed a dose.
At Thomas’s flat, Catherine was surprised when Thomas greeted her, explaining that he sent the help home early as a reward for their diligent service to him. He kissed her cheek lightly and ushered her inside. Catherine had expected anger or a reluctance to see her, but he was the old Thomas with no trace of bitterness.
“I suppose you came because of your brother?” Thomas asked politely.
“Perhaps. I mean, yes. I worried about you, too, though. I came—” she stopped. “I came because I was worried about you. Xavier had been planning to find you for weeks, since he returned to Paris he has talked about nothing else. But the vampirism, as we predicted, frightened him to death. He’s no idea what to make of it. I came to see that you were coping and to plead for your patience. I don’t think that all is lost between you and my brother.”
Thomas cocked his head and smiled warmly. “Catherine, there are things that you need to know. I didn’t come to the house at first because Xavier needed time to adjust, and then after he found out about me I hardly wanted to intrude. Xavier has to make his own decisions about us. I love him as much as always but can’t force him into this. I’m waiting, with a heavy and worried heart, but that’s all I can do.”
“But you’re doing well?” Catherine asked.
“Yes, I’m fine. I accepted that it’s out of my hands, which was the most difficult thing I’ve ever done.”
“He’ll come to you. I really believe it.”
Catherine left, feeling better about Thomas than she had since confirming his attack on Xavier. His actions demonstrated a new demeanor and patience. As she rode home in her carriage, she thought that perhaps she would give him the second chance he wanted. After all, he had not had another misstep since then, and she could still get rid of him with just a word to Marcel.
25 August 1793
THE NOTE AWAITED Thomas when he woke: “Against my better judgment, I have returned to this vile city. All for you, of course. I will come this evening. Anthony.”
Thomas’s heart leapt for joy. Though his patience with Xavier remained, he had been getting lonely during these past couple of weeks while he waited. He checked on Xavier from afar and fed when absolutely necessary, but otherwise stayed to himself. Even watching humans, usually an entertaining pastime, held no allure. Typically, Anthony entered dramatically instead of knocking. Thomas watched the Seine out his window when someone dropped from the roof, burst through his open window, and tackled Thomas to the floor, where he pinned him to the ground. Thomas shoved Anthony off as he got a mouth full of blond hair.
“You can’t surprise someone if you warn them in advance with a note.”
“How else could I have entered? It’s the only way I can wrap my arms around those shoulders of yours.”
“So you finally decided to acknowledge my presence again?”
“Don’t patronize me. I’ll have you know that someone else saw your little outburst at that poor sailor and was incensed. He tried to bring it before the elders but I convinced them that there was nothing to worry about. Besides, I pointed out that you had not even harmed him. They ordered me to keep a close eye on you.”
“Do they also know that I haven’t defied their rules since?”
“Yes.”
“Do you believe I’ve changed?”
“Well.” Anthony arched an eyebrow. “Will you forgive me if I reserve judgment until later?”
Thomas grinned. “I don’t blame you. I’ll have you know that Anne came to me, angry, after she and Xavier returned. She warned me about my temper and spying on her. She threatened me, and she doesn’t do that to anyone. But even she admitted that she didn’t feel the same anger within me when we talked.”
“Was this before or after the sailor?”
“After, of course. I hadn’t talked to her or anyone when I went to the sailor.”
Anthony nodded and played with the curtain sash. “What else?”
“Xavier stays in the house all day and has yet to come to me or anyone. He even refuses to discuss it with Catherine. He talks incessantly to that rat of a nun, Maria, and they work together, but Catherine says that he cries a lot when alone and I’m not at all convinced that he’s sure of his course. I think that he wants to believe he can return to his former self but that his heart yearns for something else.”
“And what about you?” Anthony asked. “How are you?”
For the first time in days, tears returned to release the pain. Anthony moved behind and hugged him tightly, then pulled him by the hand and sat on the couch as Thomas cried quietly.
“It hurts. I never knew how much emotions could hurt.”
“And yet you’re the one always reminding me about our human emotions.”
Thomas smiled sheepishly. “I know, I know. So I love him from afar, but I don’t threaten the sacred ethic. I’m not interfering.”
“I see that, but allow me one observation.”
“You’ll give it with or without my permission, so do so.”
Anthony laughed and punched Thomas lightly on the arm. “I still worry that you’re too insistent that Xavier become your mate. As a vampire, you’ll always be confronted with human endeavors and feel emotions for humans, which is fine. But when they stop reciprocating or it becomes dangerous, you need to be able to leave it behind and forget about them, even if they still walk the earth. It hurts, until you realize one day that they’ve been dead for decades. Humanity can’t consume you like this if you want to survive.”
“I don’t understand something. You’ve admitted that you also search for a lifemate and only content yourself with affairs as a matter of immediate need. But if we follow what you just said, how would it ever be possible to find a mate? How could you know that someone were right for you if you’ve kept him at a distance the entire time?”
“I don’t have easy answers. You have to get better at sensing whether or not it can work. Assess someone from afar before you approach. You talked to Xavier before you knew a thing about him other than that he was a priest, which should have been warning enough. Let me put it another way,” Anthony said softly, grabbing Thomas’s hand. “I admit that I came to you incorrectly, too. I was mesmerized by your beauty and charm. I wanted you as my companion because you were warm, funny, and full of energy. I made the mistake of not watching you first. I’d have seen that vampirism would present no obstacle and that you’d embrace it. But I also would’ve noticed your...tendencies, shall we say. I’d have seen that you like to dominate in every relationship, whether a five-minute conversation or a lifetime friendship. This isn’t to say that I regret bringing you over, but it’s a clear example of how easy it becomes to violate the ethic when we don’t take our time with making decisions.
“I’m not convinced that Xavier has stamina to be a vampire. He’s delicate, nurturing, and perhaps the most sensitive man I’ve ever seen. It’s easy to see why you fell in love with him, but it’s also easy to see that there was no easy way for him to accept vampirism.”
“I understand.” Thomas nodded and put his hands together. “I do. But you, and most others, miss what’s underneath Xavier that he seldom lets out. There’s a rougher side to him and a callused soul that’s been hurt and doesn’t trust people as much as the outer person would have you believe. He understands this world on a more complex level than anyone I know. Even you, who’s lived for hundreds of years, can’t approach his quick insight. I’m not only in love with the soft, meek Xavier that everyone sees. I’m also in love with the man’s contradictions, his combination of compassion and reality, his faith in people and yet an underlying distrust. He’s so many things that you can’t see. That’s why I know he can do this, even the vampirism and killing, if given time.”
“Is this the truth or blind love?” Anthony asked.
“Both. And that’s why I love him so much.”
“Fine, but allow me a test before I respond further,” Anthony answered. He stood and yanked Thomas out of the chair. As usual when Anthony went on a mission, Thomas followed quietly without knowing their purpose until they arrived where Anthony wanted to go. This time, they ended their journey outside the Saint-Laurent home.
“So, how do you feel?” Anthony asked.
“What are you talking about? What’s this mysterious test?”
“Just answer my questions. Here, I’ll make it more direct. How do you feel about the Catholic Church?”
Thomas launched into a diatribe about how many people the church injured, about how it blinded Xavier or at least fed on his guilt, and called it a group of power-hungry men who lorded over people with their alleged superiority. Thomas was beginning to attack the pope when Xavier appeared at the window, looking into the darkness.
Thomas hushed and stared at Xavier, watching his lovely eyes gleam in the candlelight from within the house and his hand move the curtain. He stayed but a second yet heartened Thomas, who forgot what Anthony and he had been discussing. “Where were we?” Thomas asked.
“Going to a seedier establishment to watch the clientele and talk,” Anthony answered. “You may devote all of your sexual energy to Xavier, but I have needs outside of you two. Come on.”
Thomas laughed and they raced again through Paris. When they arrived at another nameless brothel, they took a seat in the corner as Thomas observed Anthony take in the men around them. He pointed out a young man who sat alone, watching the room in awe.
“Can you imagine going to bed with him?” Anthony asked.
“No, I can’t,” Thomas answered. “Will you explain what mission we went on?”
“It wasn’t a mission. It was a test. I wanted to see something for myself. I said that Xavier has a calming effect on you. I had you angry about the Catholic Church intentionally, and then I wanted you to see him so that I could determine if it were Xavier or something else. There you were, in the midst of a most hilarious and scathing attack on the Church, when you fell completely silent and looked adoringly at Xavier until he left.”
“What are you saying?”
Anthony looked away when his prey went to back to the bar.
“I might not have much time to get this one before this setting scares him and he flees back to town,” Anthony said.
“Forget him. You can’t kill him, anyway.”
“Who said I wanted to kill him? I’m not the one with the violent temper.” Anthony stared at the young man then finally spoke. “It’s simple, so let me tell you, and then you have to leave.”
“Gladly.”
“Underneath your gruff exterior and love of life, you’re quite sensitive, which is what draws you to Xavier. It was this sensitivity that I perceived that made me erroneously believe that we’d be sexually compatible. Funny, really, that I ever thought that.” Anthony laughed and fell silent as his target played with his drink. Anthony smiled at him, making him blush, but he returned the look and grinned back before staring into his beer.
“You can go to him in a minute,” Thomas said, rolling his eyes.
“Oh, one more thing. I’m leaving Paris and not returning, at least not for a very long time because I can’t take the wanton violence and misery. They really have gone too far, but I don’t want you to think that I’m leaving because of you. I believe that you’ve learned a thing or two in the last year.”
Anthony paused when his prey switched tables, moving closer to the vampires.
“Where was I?”
“Will you please forget your penis long enough to tell me whatever it is that you think is so crucial?”
Anthony smiled innocently, then sent a beer to the young man via a barmaid. “This is all I need to tell you. You won’t need me again. You love Xavier and he could become a wonderful mate for you. I will condone whatever happens. But never do anything against his will.” Anthony looked at Thomas. “I’ll sanction your taking Xavier as a mate and even changing him into a vampire so long as it’s
his
choice. Do you hear me?”