The Vampire's Angel (21 page)

“That’s what happened, yes. I admit that I went on a quest. I hated the idea of going through life alone, without someone to shower with my devotion, so yes, that’s true. Xavier’s an angel, not something I sought. He fell from the sky at my feet.”

“I know what you think about Xavier,” Anthony said.

“Then help me teach him. I still need you.”

“You promised to listen. You still have a lot to learn, too much, and you can’t bring a mate into your life when you can’t answer all of the questions yourself. I wish that I could impart the knowledge to you, but there are things that only time teaches. It takes decades to evolve.”

“Why don’t you just say it,” Thomas said, fuming.

“You’re too young. It’s too soon. How could you possibly know what it means to be a vampire, to live from generation to generation, through all of the extreme changes of history? How can you claim to already understand what type of person complements you?”

“You’d understand this if you met Xavier,” he retorted, though he knew he sounded at that moment as immature as Anthony suggested.

“Why hurry? Your damn impatience, it’s the one thing that concerned me even before I crossed you over. You begged for it every night, you didn’t want to wait, to learn, to fully understand. You wanted to experience immediately and educate yourself by trial and error. What kind of a way is that to live? It’s one thing that you’re like that, but you can’t bring someone else into that. Slow down, Thomas. Slow down.”

“But if this is right, why wait? If this is my soul mate, why risk his human death?”

Anthony’s face softened and he crossed the room, then passed his fingers along Thomas’s cheek and stared at him with those beautiful blue eyes.

“This longing for a mate...you know that it contradicts everything else that you stand for? You despise convention. Yet you want to immediately conform to this custom. You detest religion, but you mimic it in wanting one partner for eternity. Why not revel in sexual escapades? Why not enjoy sex? Why are you conforming?”

Thomas grabbed Anthony’s hand. “I’m not conforming. I told you that I always wanted this. Why do I need a grand reason? Who cares if it goes against the other things I do?”

“But why the urgency?”

“Humanity is the urgency. I could probably wait for years if I knew that he’d be protected throughout the day and nothing would happen to him while I can’t be there. Instead, not only do natural dangers threaten, but this damnable revolution might take anyone with it. They attack priests. I don’t want to find his body hanging in the bell tower.”

Anthony kissed Thomas on the cheek and then moved to another chair. He ran his fingers through his hair, obviously troubled but not angry. “Thomas, do you remember that before I gave you the life, I made you say goodbye to your parents and all humans, everyone that you loved? That wasn’t easy, yet you did it quickly so that I’d cross you over. There’s hardly a vampire alive that didn’t struggle with that, but it was created for a very good reason: to protect our kind. Despite our power and cunning, we’re threatened. All of these regulations, everything that I taught you, are designed to keep us safe. Even the restrictions on transforming others concerns this matter. We can’t overpopulate the earth.

“This relationship with Xavier—and don’t think that I mean to impugn the man because I don’t know him—but this relationship has led you dangerously close to disobeying the laws that keep us safe. We can’t interfere with human affairs, but you engaged with his circle with a great deal of intimacy and regularity.”

“You did the same with me,” Thomas tried to point out.

“No, I didn’t. I got to know you, but I never met anyone else in your circle. I could have safely abandoned you at any time in the process without threat of discovery, and during it you were the only human that knew anything. You, however, dine with this priest’s whole family. You’ve become an intimate part of their lives. It’s too dangerous.”

“So I see them,” he said with a wave of his hand. “I can leave, too, and no one would follow me. Other than Xavier’s sister, they don’t even know that I’m a vampire.”

“Good Lord, Thomas, you told her?”

“No, she figured it out.” And Thomas realized, then, how that would seem to Anthony. And indeed, Anthony stared at him, appalled.

“This must stop,” he said softly. “No more contact.”

“Why? I don’t threaten anyone but myself. I maintain the ethic. And I’m careful.”

“You do threaten people with your temper, you’ve violated the ethic constantly, often by your own admission. Quit deluding yourself. I won’t even comment on your being careful.”

“My only fault was in searching for a mate and finding him. Where is my sin against vampires? Who do I endanger? And what can happen if I don’t stop?”

“I’m worried that you endanger yourself. And Xavier, if you can’t get it under control. I’ve kept this from you because you love to challenge authority. So don’t do something stupid once you know. Vampires follow these rules, though some, a very few, have challenged them. They’ve threatened us with discovery, not just of themselves but the very existence of the undead, and so they were executed. When a group of elderly vampires come together there’s little that can stop our force. It’s the oldest vampires who enforce these laws, and we watch to ensure that no one disobeys. If you persist, something will happen to you.”

Thomas had long suspected a secret tribunal. And here Anthony revealed it for the first time. Not only that, but he belonged to it. “So you watch me for them, because you made me?”

“No one is assigned to monitor anyone.”

“But I’m in danger?”

“Thomas, I don’t want to antagonize you. You’re not in peril. You’re not close to that point yet. And I’d defend you to the bitter end. I’d even murder Xavier if I had to in order to protect you.”

An icy admission, one that Thomas dared not think about because he would defend Xavier to the death, even if it meant his own or Anthony’s.

“I’m concerned with how you’re involved with this family,” Anthony said. “You need better balance. If you want to explore things with Xavier, go ahead. But you’re immersed in his entire life and all of the people around him. Why go so far?”

“Because it’s important to him. He wouldn’t understand if I stayed away. Besides, I am careful. I haven’t touched the vile man who’s engaged to Catherine. I told you about that.”

“You’ve done well in that, but you still threatened him. And he also knows that you’re a vampire, so that makes two of them, not just Catherine. If you’re correct and he has a spell on her, what will keep the two of them from hunting you down or exposing you to Xavier?”

“I understand,” Thomas grudgingly admitted. “Too many people know.”

“Are there more?” Anthony leaned forward, expression hardening.

“Just one, a friend of Xavier’s. She’s a voodoo priestess, but she doesn’t know any of the other Saint-Laurents. She’s a loner and was unafraid of me.”

“But this is what I’ve been warning you about. All of these people know about you. Here you are, saying there’s but one, then you add another. That’s why I want you to slow down, and consider your actions. I’m not naïve enough to believe that you’d stop seeing Xavier, but at least take more precautions and stop trying to move so quickly. You’re young. You have plenty of time to find a lifemate.”

“It’s been thirty-five years.” How much longer would he have to wait?

“That’s nothing, Thomas. You’re immortal, after all.”

“But Xavier doesn’t have decades,” Thomas argued.

“He’s young. He has time, too.”

“I love him,” Thomas continued stubbornly. “I want a lifemate more than anything, and I want that with Xavier. You like to live alone without a partner, so how can you know what I feel?”

Anthony got out of his chair and turned his back to Thomas, silent. “I never told you this,” Anthony said softly, “and I really don’t want to now. But perhaps it will help you understand. For hundreds of years I’ve failed to deaden the pain. I had a lover. I wasn’t made into a couple, as I tried with you. I was created out of friendship. I remained alone for my first hundred years until I found one that I cherished as you treasure Xavier. We were lifemates. For decades we traveled the world together. But there was a flurry of violent activity, a war between the elders and a rogue vampire who tried to kill us all. Many died fighting him, including a number of elders. I was added to their circle afterward because so many died. I survived. I was part of the final assault. Unfortunately, this one manipulated us by going after those we loved who were defenseless. My mate was burned to death in an inferno of evil. So I feel your longing. It’s mine, too.”

Anthony turned around, his face stained with bloody tears.

“Anthony, I never—”

“No, there’s no need for that. You couldn’t have known and your guilt won’t help either of us. But now you know that I understand what you feel and want with Xavier.”

Thomas vowed to obey. His maker wanted to help and not undermine him. Thomas scolded himself for his impatience, but still he was torn.

“Will you listen to me? For your own good and Xavier’s?”

“I promise I’ll try.”

“It’s dangerous to move too quickly. Look how I erred with you. Not that I regret it. I’d transform you all over again, but move slowly. I know that you’ve taken care to protect Xavier through the day to reduce that threat. I’ll stay in this miserable city with you and enjoy watching the French destroy each other if you assure me that you’ll listen to my advice.”

“Agreed,” Thomas said.

“This means working on your patience, or lack thereof.”

“I will.”

“And your anger?”

“That most of all.”

“You’ll consult me before you act?”

“Yes. Did I not do so about this matter? Did I not send you letters asking your advice?”

Anthony cocked an eyebrow, acknowledging. “True. So you’ll act with care when you do?”

“Yes.” And he said it with as much conviction as he could muster.

“Then I’ll stay. Which means that tomorrow I have to find my own flat. I love you, but I can’t sleep this close to you, and I hate your taste in décor.”

Thomas laughed, relieved. “You always did. You are a traditional man, in spite of yourself.”

“Indeed. And one of fine tastes,” Anthony teased. “And since I’m staying, I’ll need to meet Xavier.”

“True. Let’s go now.”

Anthony rolled his eyes and sighed. “Slow down. I’ll tell you when it’s time.”

10 July 1789 Evening

CATHERINE STILL MARVELED at how things changed every day. Paris erupted overnight. One day peace reigned as the National Assembly challenged Louis, then constant riots and shouting ruled as people took to the streets with weapons, more and more wearing the tricolours. Catherine touched the scarf at her neck that Jérémie had given her. She, too, still wore them.

More exciting, the plans to transform the Saint-Laurent household into a revolutionary salon proceeded. Various gatherings became increasingly frequent, more people participated, and Catherine learned much about politics, economics, and the potential revolution. Michel, not surprisingly, was still Catherine’s biggest obstacle. But she promised Xavier to keep her temper under control, even though he ordered her to shut down this treasonous establishment and warned that it endangered her and the family. Thankfully, he always had to run quickly back to the army, which staved off confrontations between them.

This afternoon Catherine worked with Jérémie, an activity that always enlivened her because he was funny and his passion equaled hers. She was as comfortable with him as with Xavier. At the moment, she sat quietly with Jérémie talking about current events and sharing a bottle of wine when someone knocked on her office door. Catherine opened it and blushed as the passion flooded her body when she saw Marcel.

“The servants should have announced you.”

“I told them I knew the way,” he said. “I came with your latest supply of medicine. I trust you have been taking it regularly?”

“Of course.”

His smile disappeared, though, when he saw Jérémie. He tipped his hat to him but addressed only Catherine. “If I’ve come at a bad time, I’ll leave.”

“I won’t have your jealousy,” she said, poking him in the stomach before entwining her arm with his. “Would you like something to drink?”

“I’d love some wine. Jérémie and I can chat while you get it.”

Marcel came into the room and sat near Jérémie. Catherine sensed his displeasure and feared the tone of this conversation. She hated their bickering over her, especially when she made her own decisions and Marcel had no right to question her loyalty. Only his darling face kept her from lashing out. But, in getting Marcel’s wine, she snuck out of the room to a bar that her father had installed before his death so that he could take leave of associates but still listen to them. It sat on the opposite side of one office wall, and had gaps in certain boards so that one could overhear everything being said.

“Jérémie, I understand you’re a friend of the family, but you need to stay away from Catherine.”

“My affairs with the Saint-Laurents are entirely pure. If they want me to leave, they can ask me.”

“What must others think of my fiancée living with a single man?”

“Catherine handles her reputation well, and there’s nothing between us to impugn it.”

And so they squabbled, neither yielding. Jérémie’s willingness to confront Marcel surprised Catherine because he usually shrank from such. He charmed her with his defense of her right to live with whom she chose. Marcel, on the other hand, irritated her. Why did he think he could order people about?

Yet other thoughts distracted her. Even if their engagement ended, she desperately wanted him to take her virginity. She turned bright red at the mere thought. Yes, she had never had sex, though she thought about it often. She dabbed her forehead as she longed for his manhood and poured herself a glass of wine, took a huge gulp, then raced back into the room before their quarrel escalated.

“You see, you’ve no power—”