The Upside of Love (14 page)

Lily

He was hurting; I could tell. He was hurting just as bad as I was. This pain he was feeling would pass. The pain of looking at me, talking to me, and making love to me would always be there in the back of his mind if we were together. Maybe he wouldn’t realize it at first, but little things would remind him of Callie and then he’d look at me, wishing that I’d never given him those tickets. It wasn’t only about how he felt; it was also about the guilt that I would carry for the rest of my life. Maybe I was protecting the both of us.

I spent the next week photographing children and helping Gretchen plan Giselle’s baby shower that was going to be held at Luke’s bar. He offered and Gretchen jumped on it without talking to me first. She thought it would be perfect and so did Giselle. Since the shower was today and I hadn’t seen or talked to Luke since that Sunday he stopped by, it was going to be awkward. As I was putting the shower favors that I was in charge of in the box, there was a knock at the door.

“Come on in. It’s open,” I yelled.

The door opened and I heard Luke’s voice from behind.

“Hey, Lily.”

After I gasped, I turned around. “Hi, Luke.”

“I was wondering if you needed any help with the boxes for the shower. Gretchen said that you’d have a few. I could load them in the jeep.”

He looked so hot. As I stared at him, my mind went to all the times we made love. I missed him so much that I didn’t know what to do anymore. Gretchen and Giselle told me every day how stupid I was, but they didn’t know the real reason I couldn’t let him back into my life.

“I have these right here,” I said as I pointed to the boxes on the table.

“Are they ready to go?”

“Yeah.”

He walked over to the table and grabbed the first box and then looked at me and smiled.

“You look beautiful.”

I could feel myself blushing as I thanked him. He gave me a small smile as he loaded the boxes in his jeep.

“Okay, I guess that’s it. I’ll see you at the bar.”

The bar was decorated throughout with pink balloons and streamers. When I walked in, the first person I saw was Cody.
What the hell is she doing here?
Sam walked over to me and kissed me on the cheek.

“You look gorgeous, Lily.”

“Thanks, Sam.”

“I live right next door to you and I haven’t seen you lately.”

“I’ve been busy at the studio and then, with planning the shower, I really haven’t had much time for anything else.”

“Well, stop being a stranger; I miss you.” He smiled.

“I miss you too,” I said as I patted his chest.

The shower got underway and was a huge success. A little over a hundred people came and showered Giselle and Lucky with gifts for Isabella. Luke was behind the bar making drinks when I walked up.

“Hi. What can I get you?” he asked.

“A glass of red wine will be fine.”

He smiled and, as he was pouring it into a glass, Adalynn walked up to me.

“Lily, I need to talk to you about something.”

“Sure, Adalynn. What’s up?”

“How would you like to go to New York for a couple of weeks?”

“That would be great. What’s happening in New York?”

“I’m launching a fashion blog and I would like you to do the fashion shoot for it.”

“I would love to.”

“Great. I know it’s kind of last minute, but I need you to leave the day after tomorrow. It’s a two-week shoot and
Prim
will pay all your expenses. I knew you’d be game, so I booked you a room at The Trump. It overlooks Central Park and that’s where I want the majority of the shoot.”

I could feel Luke’s eyes on me as Adalynn and I were talking. As soon as she walked away, he spoke up.

“Wow. New York. That’s exciting,” he said.

Suddenly, Cody stepped behind the bar and put her arm around his waist. “When you get a chance, I need to talk to you in private.”

“Excuse me, Lily,” he said as he walked away with her.

My stomach started to flip out and I became overly hot. Was he seeing her? Was that why he came over and told me that he wasn’t going to pressure me into talking to him anymore? Thoughts of the two of them together consumed me and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I walked towards the back to see if I could hear their conversation and when I approached Luke’s office, I saw him kiss her on her forehead as he clasped her shoulders. I put my hand over my mouth and quietly walked away so he didn’t hear me. I went into the main area of the bar and found Adalynn.

“If it’s okay with you, I’m going to leave tonight for New York. I haven’t been there since I was a kid and I think I should scout out locations in Central Park first.”

“Great idea! I didn’t think of that. I’ll call the hotel and tell them you’ll be arriving tonight and you can fly on the company jet. Give me a second and let me check the flight schedules.”

As she pulled out her phone, I looked over and saw Luke and Cody. He had his hand on the small of her back as they walked into the main area.

“Great news. Your flight leaves at seven o’clock.” She smiled.

I looked at my watch and saw it was four. I guessed I had better get home and get packed.

“You’re leaving tonight?” Luke said.

He must have overheard our conversation.

“Yeah,” I replied as I turned around and began to walk away.

“I thought you weren’t leaving for a couple of days.”

“Change in plans. I need to get the fuck away from here.” I didn’t mean for those last few words to spew out of my mouth, but they did.

“Why the sudden change, Lily?”

“It’s none of your business, Luke. Why don’t you focus on your little girlfriend over there and leave me the hell alone.”

By this time, all the guests had pretty much left. I told Giselle and Gretchen what was happening and that I had to leave and go pack. I hugged them goodbye and when I walked out of the bar, Luke was standing up against the Explorer.

“Get out of my way, Luke,” I said.

“I’m not moving until you tell me what the hell that remark was about Cody.”

“I saw you kiss her, Luke. Okay. There. You wanted to know, so I told you.”

“When?” he asked in confusion.

“In your office. Just a little while ago.”

He threw his head back and laughed. “Lily, she quit. I was wishing her good luck.”

“Luke, I have to go. I have a lot of packing to do and a plane to catch, so if you’ll excuse me and please move away from my vehicle, I’d appreciate it.”

“Whatever, Lily. I’m over you.” He hit the hood of the Explorer and walked away.

His words hurt, but what did I expect? Tears filled my eyes, as I would never get over him.

****

Luke

This was tearing me apart. I told her that I was over her and I wasn’t. I’d never be. I was so in love with her that I had to put an end to all of this once and for all. We needed to talk and if I had to lock her in a room until I got some answers, I would. I called Candi over to join me behind the bar so I could talk to her and Maddie.

“What’s up, boss?” she asked.

“I need the two of you to do me a favor. I need you to run the bar while I’m gone.”

“Where are you going?” Maddie asked.

“I’m going to New York to get my girlfriend back. I’m done with this game and she’s going to listen to me.”

“Good for you, Luke.” Candi smiled as she patted me on the back.

“What if she won’t?” Maddie said.

“It’s not even an option for her anymore. I’m going to ask Mom and Dad to help out here too. As you know, Cody quit.”

“It’s about time,” Candi said.

“I had to have a little talk with her and she didn’t like what I had to say, so she thought it would be best to move on.”

“Smart girl.” Maddie smiled. “When are you leaving?”

“I’m going to try and get a flight out of here first thing tomorrow morning.”

Maddie and Candi both hugged me. “Good luck. You do whatever you have to and get her back.”

“Trust me; I will.”

I left the bar and called my parents. They said that they would be more than happy to help out at the bar while I was gone and my dad said not to worry about the paperwork or the books. As I was unlocking the door to my apartment, Lily walked out with two suitcases. She looked startled when she saw me.

“Let me help you with those,” I said.

“No need. I’ve got this.”

“Too fucking bad, Lily; I’m helping you,” I said as I grabbed one of her suitcases from her hand.

“Watch your mouth, Matthews.”

I silently smiled. I loaded her suitcase in the limo that Adalynn had sent over to pick her up. She climbed in and I stopped her from shutting the door. I poked my head inside.

“Have a good time in New York.”

“Thank you,” she said quietly.

Little did she know that she’d be seeing me tomorrow.

Lily

I lay down on the plush king-size bed in the hotel room and took note of the bottle of champagne and plate of chocolate-covered strawberries sitting on the table in front of the window. I got up and walked over to find a card with my name on it.

“Enjoy your stay and have a great photo shoot.

Best, Ian and Adalynn,
Prim
Magazine”

I smiled as I set the card down and bit into a large, juicy strawberry. I had wished that Wyatt could have made the trip with me. But with his classes, he couldn’t. I didn’t know what I was going to do because I needed an assistant. I’d have to contact Adalynn and see if there was anyone here that would be willing to help. I walked into the bathroom and looked at the amazing sunken jet tub and decided it was time for a glass of champagne and a relaxing bubble bath. I started the water and got undressed. It was one in the morning here and I was still on California time.

As I poured myself a glass of champagne, I climbed into the bubbly tub and sank until the water reached my neck. I took a sip of my champagne and closed my eyes. I couldn’t stop thinking about Luke and his attitude before I left for New York. The way he grabbed my suitcase from me was a bit rough. Then the way he told me to have a good time in New York was weird. It sounded like he was happy that I was leaving. I didn’t know. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but he sounded different. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I had wished he was here with me. Exploring New York with him would have been fun under different circumstances. Once I was finished with my bath, I changed into my pajamas and climbed into bed. I was surprised at how quickly I fell asleep.

****

Luke

I checked into The Trump at ten a.m. Thank God my room was ready.

“Here you go, Mr. Matthews. You will be staying in room 2212. I’ll have the bellhop bring up your luggage.”

“Nah, that’s okay. I can take it up myself. Thank you.”

I boarded the elevator and rode it up to the twenty-second floor. This had to be the most beautiful place I’d ever stayed at. I was on the lookout for Lily but I hadn’t planned out what I was going to say to her when I saw her. I had a feeling once she saw me, she’d be pissed. I sent a text message to Gretchen, asking her if she knew which room Lily was in.

“Do you know what room number Lily is in?”

“No. Hold on a sec and I’ll see if Giselle knows.”

I waited and, after a few moments, a text message came through.

“She doesn’t know either. Sorry, Luke.”

“It’s okay. I’ll think of something.”

I left the hotel and walked a couple of blocks. It was going to be tough trying to find Lily here. It would be like trying to find a needle in a haystack. After a couple of hours and a Starbucks later, I pulled out my phone to see if I had any messages. As I was walking, I accidentally ran into someone, which wasn’t hard to do in this city.

“I’m sor—” We both started to say at the same time as I looked up.

“LUKE! What the—”

“Lily. What a coincidence.” I smiled with relief.

“What are you doing here?” she asked through gritted teeth.

“Can we go somewhere else and talk so we’re not in the way of people?”

She grabbed me by the arm and pulled me over to the side. “Again. What are you doing here?”

“I came to talk to you.”

“You flew all the way to New York to talk to me?”

“Yes, and you’re going to damn well listen to me too!”

“Not right now I’m not. I have something to do,” she snapped.

“Whatever it is you’re doing, I’m doing it with you. You shouldn’t be walking around this city by yourself.”

She looked at me as she cocked her head. “It’s my life and I’ll do what I want. You are not my keeper and you cannot tell me what to do. Who the hell do you think you are, Luke Matthews?”

“I’m the guy who’s in love with you and needs you to listen; that’s who I am.”

Her sad but angry eyes stared into mine for a moment and then she looked away. “I am not talking about this here, and I’m not talking about this now.”

She turned around and started to walk away. I followed behind.

****

Lily

I couldn’t believe Luke was here in New York City. I was so pissed off at him, but then again, I wasn’t, if that made any sense. I reached the Trump and he followed me inside.

“Why are you following me? I’m going to my room and you’re not coming.”

“It just so happens that I’m going to my room too.”

I stopped in the middle of the lobby. “You’re staying here?” I asked.

“Yes.” He smiled.

“Do you realize how expensive this place is?”

“Yes.”

“You can’t afford that.”

“You don’t worry about what I can and can’t afford.” He smiled.

“Go home, Luke,” I said as I stepped onto the elevator.

“Nah, I think I’ll stay in New York for a while.”

I pushed the button to my floor and asked Luke which floor he was on.

“Same,” he replied.

“You’re on floor twenty-two?”

“Yep. I sure am.”

When the elevator doors opened, I stepped out and walked to my room. I looked over at Luke, who stopped at the door next to mine.

“No. No. No. That is not your room!”

He smiled as he inserted the card into the lock and opened the door. “Is this a coincidence or maybe something else?”

“FUCK!”

“Watch your mouth, babe.” He winked and then walked inside his room, shutting the door behind him.

I can’t believe this
, I thought as I walked into the room. I threw my purse on the bed and paced the floor before grabbing a chocolate-covered strawberry and shoving it into my mouth. I grabbed my phone from my purse and called Dr. Blakely.

“Dr. Blakely’s office. How can I help you?”

“Regina, it’s Lily Gilmore. I need to speak to Dr. Blakely.”

“Would you like to make an appointment?”

“I can’t since I’m in New York. But, if she has a moment, I need to speak to her.”

“She’s in with a patient right now. I’ll give her your message.”

“Thank you, Regina. Please tell her that it’s very important.”

I sat down on the bed, tapping my foot on the floor. “Call, call, call,” I said as I stared at my phone. Why was this so hard? Why couldn’t I make my own decision? Wait. I did. I made the decision to cease and desist. Okay, not in the form of a letter, but verbally. Why did his coming here have the profound effect of a smidge of happiness on me? Why did I suddenly feel comfort knowing that he was right next door? It was like we were back in California. My phone rang.

“Dr. Blakely, thank God you called.”

“Lily, what’s wrong? My secretary said you were in New York.”

“I had to go to New York for work. Luke flew in this morning. He said he wanted to talk.”

“He flew all the way to New York to talk to you?”

“Yes. What do I do? My head tells me to talk to him, but my heart is shaking in the corner and telling me no.”

“First of all, you need to calm down and take in a deep, cleansing breath. It’s inevitable, Lily, that you need to talk to him. We’ve discussed this already. It’s no longer an option and it seems to me that no matter where you go, he’ll always be behind you, waiting for that talk. You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for, Lily, and you need to act like an adult and do the right thing.”

I gulped because I knew everything she said was true. I knew it before I called her, but I needed to hear her say it.

“Thank you, Dr. Blakely.”

“Baby steps, Lily. Baby steps.”

I hung up, grabbed my purse, and banged on his door.

“You do realize that this is a quiet hotel, right?”

“Don’t be like that with me,” I said as I gave him an evil look and walked into his room.

I heard him chuckle.

“This is how this situation is going to work. I need an assistant for the photo shoots and since you’re here, you’re going to help me. After we’re finished with work, then I will listen to what you have to say but, until then, and only then, there will be no talk of such.”

“Your terms, eh?” he asked.

“Yep. My terms. You game?”

“Sure. I’m game.”

“Okay.” I nodded my head. “Now, I need to go to Central Park. Are you coming?”

“I’m right behind you, but I have one question. Have you eaten yet?”

“I had a muffin,” I replied.

“A muffin isn’t a meal. So let’s go grab some lunch before we head to Central Park.”

“I pay for my own,” I said.

“Deal.”

We walked until we saw Rumours Bar and Grill. As soon as we stepped inside, we were taken to a booth. Luke told me that he had to use the bathroom and that he’d be right back. I watched him walk away and couldn’t help but stare at his fine ass – the one I was missing badly and I wasn’t the only one staring at him. The waiter came over to take our drink order so I ordered Luke a beer and a margarita for myself.

“I ordered you a beer since you weren’t here,” I said.

“Thank you.” He smiled as he picked up his menu. “What are you going to order?”

“I think I might get the Chicken BLT Wrap.”

“That sounds good. I’m looking at the Prime Rib French Dip.”

“Oh, that sounds delicious too. Shit, now I don’t know what to get.” My head was starting to hurt.

He looked at me and flashed his sexy smile. “Why don’t you order what you were going to? I’ll order the French dip and we can share it.”

We used to do that all the time. He would order one thing. I’d order something else and then we’d split it. I didn’t know if we should do that or not. Things between us were awkward and not normal, but what the hell, I really wanted to try that French dip.

“Okay.”

After setting our drinks in front of us, the waiter took our order. The place was hopping and crowded with people. It was your typical bar with big screen TVs lining the walls and a different sports game on every one. Once my eyes finished scanning the place, they caught the attention of Luke, who was staring at me.

“Why are you staring at me?”

Suddenly, he held out his hand. “Hi, I’m Luke Matthews and you are?”

I narrowed my eyes at him as I cocked my head and a half smile fell across my lips. I stuck out my hand and placed it in his.

“I’m Lily Gilmore.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Lily Gilmore.”

Our hands were still locked when the waiter brought our food. His touch, which I’d craved, was comforting and I found myself having a hard time letting go.