The Unlikely Hero of Room 13B (20 page)

“The letters, they’re like toxic vomit.” Fear spiked down his spine and then spread. He did not take his eyes off Robyn. “They’re deranged, but in case you’re wondering, they don’t threaten
her
directly, which means something legally, and they’re like those old-school cut-and-paste jobs, like in the movies. It’s like somebody wants to drive her crazy, get her locked up.” Adam’s heart erupted in uneven
pa-thumps
. He had said out loud and to
them
what he had refused to say to himself.

No one breathed.

No one said anything.

“Big step, Batman. Maybe you need a minute, and maybe everyone else does too,” Chuck said gently. “So I’ll ask a couple of questions just on facts, nothing loaded. I agree that the situation is loaded enough. If you don’t want to answer, just shake your head, okay?”

“Yeah, I’m okay with that.”

“How many letters?”

Adam thought for a moment. “Five? No, six that I know of for sure, but I’m guessing seven or eight when I think about how she acts after.”

“Do you have any idea who?”

Did he look at Wolverine? He didn’t mean to.

Adam dropped his head. “Could be work, or someone we know. No, I have no idea, and we don’t
—she
won’t—talk about it.”

“And how
is
your mom? Is she coping?”

“She has her issues—other ones, you know? But she puts on a good front. Thing is, I know she’s strung out; the house vibrates with it, or she’s vibrating. I don’t know. I just don’t know.”

“Okay.” Chuck took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. “That’s enough for now. You know to call.” Chuck and Adam surveyed the room together; most everyone in it looked uncomfortable. “We won’t comment, but good one, Batman. Splendid breakthrough. I’m very pleased that you could share what you did. Big step, young man. Big, big step.”

And he was right. It was like a high-pressure front blew in and swallowed up everything that was thick and heavy.

Snooki leaned over to him and patted his thigh.

Robyn lasered Snooki.

And Adam felt fine. Shockingly, brilliantly fine. Once again, he had
told
. Once again, a relief so pure and powerful rocked him to the core.

He tried staying in tune for the rest of the checks and even managed to comment on Green Lantern’s latest running-over-someone-in-the-car drama. Adam was still feeling lighter and brighter when they stacked chairs forty minutes later. He couldn’t wait to get to the cemetery with Robyn, to be alone with her. She would be pleased, proud. He would hold her. She would make it even better.

He was still smiling when Thor loomed up behind him, casting a shadow over the stairwell. His footfalls reverberated like gathering thunder until he had just passed Adam on the stairs, and then he turned. Even though Thor was one step down, he still towered over Adam.

“I’ll find him, kid.”

“What? Uh, Thor, no. You don’t have to … you shouldn’t …”

“I’ll find him.” Thor’s voice was so low that the actual words were barely audible. “I’ll find him and I’ll kill the prick,” he said, or Adam thought he said. He definitely said something close enough to that to shred Adam’s stomach before he took off.

You tell and all hell will break loose, Adam. Promise me you’ll never tell. Promise!

Adam leaned against the rail trying to steady himself.

What have I done?

“I don’t know why you’re tripping out so much. I thought it went good. They’ve got your back, you know. All of them.”

Was Robyn annoyed?

Annoyed would not be good.

Angry?

Angry would be bad.

Scared?

Scared would be badder.

But then Robyn put her arm through his as they walked through the cemetery gates. And they were close enough for Adam to get lost in the promise of her.

“I mean it, Adam—all of them! They are
so
for you!”

“Yeah,” he said. “Especially Wolverine.”

“No …” Robyn withdrew her arm. “
Especially
Snooki.”

Wow. Were they having a fight? Was this their first fight?

This had to mean that they were definitely a
they
in order for them to have
their
first fight.

Once the novelty wore off, a full two seconds later, Adam felt nauseated. He tucked her arm through his again. “I’m sorry, Robyn.” He didn’t have a clue what he was apologizing for.

“No.” Robyn shook her head. “
I’m
sorry. I forced you and now you feel worse. And I’m such an idiot, and I’m really, really sorry.”

“No, I don’t feel worse, really,” he lied. Adam felt worse by the hour, it seemed. There were moments when it felt like he was disintegrating. The time and attention that the compulsions demanded, the humiliating aftermath of the rituals, all pierced through and left puncture marks in their wake. He was exhausted.

Each ritual, each time, required more and gave less.

But Adam had to be strong for her. Robyn needed a strong defender, protector, warrior … something much more than he was. Yet he would and could be that for her, and also for his mom and for Sweetie. There was no time to be
tired
.

Last week’s ice storm had left its mark on the cemetery. Though the path was cleared, snow and ice draped every available surface, glittering even in the dusk.

“Wow, eh?” Robyn squeezed Adam’s arm. “It’s like how I imagined Narnia to be when the White Witch turned it into the hundred-year winter.”

Adam traced the icicle-decorated branches scratching
against the gathering darkness. And then they were there, at her mother’s headstone. The big black granite an aggressive scar erupting from all that white.

Adam reluctantly let go of Robyn so that she could make the sign of the cross and say her rosary.

It was while she prayed that he knew.

It was no longer an act, a compulsive tic or a driving necessity. Robyn was not obsessing. He reviewed the last few weeks, at church, at her house, in Group and here with him. There was no sense of desperation.

She was better.

Adam could hear himself exhaling in that way you can when you’re at the bottom of a swimming pool or running in the woods by yourself. This was wrong. Who was saving who here?

No, it was even wronger than that somehow. He knew it at the core of his being, but couldn’t put his finger on what or how. He shivered.

Robyn turned back to him. It was almost dark. They would close the gates. The rules were loose, but usually they shut the gates when night fell, not at any set hour. He’d gotten caught a couple of times in the autumn when he’d doubled back rather than returning home along the main streets. Adam now knew all the perimeter fences and which ones were scalable. Robyn had to know the rules; she’d been coming far longer than he had. Yet the darkening sky didn’t seem to concern her.

“You know, I don’t remember her ever
not
fighting.”

“Fighting?”

It was as if Robyn were addressing an audience, not
just Adam. “Even when she was unconscious, I swear she fought. She, he, they fought when she was drugged, radiated, hair falling out and throwing up. They flew her everywhere, for every possible trial or quack treatment. The fight took up everything, you see, for years. It was … exclusive.” She hugged herself. “There was no room in that kind of battle for a little girl. There was no air left for me, and …” She turned back to the stone. “I—I hated her for it.”

Then Robyn tried to smile.

“So, my superfine superhero, I guess I was praying right now that you could maybe understand why I went with the suicide story as opposed to this disgusting selfish-brat story. Do you think you can, even a little?”

Even in the sooty dark, Adam could tell that there were tears struggling down Robyn’s face. He bounded up to her.

“Why the hell do I tell you these things? They are so, so ugly … and still I tell you. I don’t get it. Why?”

“Because you know that I will love you no matter what. It doesn’t matter what you think you did. I will always love you, Robyn.”

“You love me?”

He went to her and thought he would implode with want.

Instead of devouring her whole, Adam wiped her cheek as gently as he would Sweetie’s. “I love you. I love you so much that I tell you all my … and I—”

“You’re talking too much,” she whispered. “Stop talking, Adam, and just—”

Adam cupped her face in his hands and kissed her. He kissed her forever and then longer than that. His body was
shot through with shards of hot and cold at the exact same time. Her lips were softer and, yes, peachier than he could ever have imagined, and still they kissed. Adam moved one hand to the back of her head and the other circled her body as if he did this every day, and still they kissed. Robyn threw her arms around him and pulled him into her, and still they kissed. They kissed that one long, hungry, uninterrupted first kiss that went beyond the now and would last as only first kisses can, in time and memory, until they breathed no more.

Until they were caught by harsh intrusive high beams.

“Oh.”

“Oh.”

They blinked like startled owls at the security car in front of them.

A car door opened. “You kids want to get a room? The gates have been closed for half an hour!” The security guard heaved himself out and, to add insult to injury, beamed his flashlight on them. “Hell, I take it back. You
are
kids. Go home right now before I haul you in and call your folks! I’ll drive over and open the Main Street gates. You all think the cemetery is some kind of make-out mansion. Now, get home! Go!”

Robyn kissed him one more time and then once more again. Everything in him ignited. Adam grabbed her hand and they ran to the Main Street gates, laughing the whole way. Even with all his long-distance training, he had trouble catching his breath. And that was okay. He held on to the heat of the kiss, of her. He was not tired. He did not count.

“Robyn—”

“Shh.” Robyn smiled, touching his lips with her gloved finger. “Shh … I love you too, Adam, really I do. I have almost from the beginning, and I will love you”—she turned, looking back to the cemetery—“I will love you
until
 …” She reached for him and kissed his cheek and then his eyes and then his lips one last time before disappearing down Main Street. He heard the gates clank shut behind him.

Guess it was going to be the long way home tonight.

Who cared?

Not him.

Robyn Plummer tasted like peaches.

And Robyn Plummer
loved
him.

Adam ran home without his feet touching the ground. Wow. He got it, he really got it. So
this
was what
that
was like! This was better than anything! This was worth anything! Love, man. Love was amazing. Miracles sparked in the night air, bloomed and burst open before him.

Until he got home.

And he got to his door.

And nothing had changed. So everything did.

It was a bad reset. And it was one that happened
that
fast. It took Adam twenty-three minutes to get in. And in that time everything turned upside down. He had to retrace and start again seven times.

It must have been a pity kiss.

Because he was that pitiful.

He felt like an open wound by the time he turned the key. Thank God his mom was on late shift all week.

When he got to his room, Adam just sat there in his coat in the dark and counted until the phone rang.

“Robyn?”

“No, doofus. Don’t you have call display? It’s Ben.”

“Stones?”

Adam unzipped his jacket and started wiggling out of it.

“What’s up, man?”

“Nothing much.”

The guys had never developed much of a telephone relationship over the years. They relied more on monosyllabic and heavily coded texting. But that had not been available to Adam for almost a year now. So, on the phone, each out-wrestled the other in tortured conversation. Their “conversations” rarely lasted longer than a few seconds and usually involved little more than setting the date and time of their next meeting. But sometimes, Ben Stone called for no reason whatsoever.

Like this time.

As always they began with their standard awkward pause, and then …

“Yeah, so I thought I’d just call, you know?”

Adam nodded, but of course Ben couldn’t see him.

“So I called … And so, dude, how are ya? You still nuts?”

“Pretty much,” said Adam.

“Thought so.”

“You still fat?” Adam wanted to take the words back as soon as they were out of his mouth. “Sorry, man, that was pissy.”

“Oh, stuff it, dude. I am
fatter
! Can ya dig it?”

“That’s, uh, righteous. I think.”

“Yeah, bro, it
is
righteous!” said Ben.

“Yeah?” said Adam, perking up. “Why?”

Ben laughed. “Dude, I’m gonna gain at least seven more serious pounds!”

“No way!”

“Way! Spring training for the junior football team wannabes, man. What I gotta get me is some firm fat. I’m going to definitely try out for the football team next year. So I’m going to work on getting into big-man shape.”

“Sounds like a helluva plan, Stan. I’m with you. I’m thinking about trying out for track this spring.”

“No way!”

“Way!”

“Why the hell not, eh? Who says a whack-job can’t be the marathon man and a Jew can’t be an epic nose tackle?”

“Not me!”

“Perfection! I’m gonna do it, Adam. I’m gonna be a football star. I decided this week.”

“With a side order of cheerleaders to go!” Adam turned on his light, shaking his head and smiling.

“You bet your bony ass. They’ll all be after me. Let us pause for a moment and hold that photo.”

Adam grinned. He couldn’t help it. “I got it!”

“Are you smiling at your stupid fish?”

“You got it in one, Stones.”

“Primo. Well, my work here is done. See you Sunday.”

How did he know? “Sunday, yeah. Stones?”

“Yeah?”

“You have no … Just thanks, man.”

“Hey, glad to do my bit for the Batman.”