The Universe Builders: Bernie and the Putty (45 page)

“What do you have in mind?” asked Bernie. A glance in Suzie’s direction caused him to add, “Remember, we just want to stop him, not hurt him.”

“Well, that cuts down on a lot of options, you know.” Lenny didn’t hide his disappointment.

Lenny closed his eyes as he did a mental inventory of his OWT collection. “I have just the thing. It’s a very small explosive device. You attach it to anything you don’t want opened. When they open it, the blast will knock them across the room. It has a guaranteed thirty-foot blowback radius. It’ll be perfect!”

Suzie, who didn’t like the idea as soon as she heard the word ‘explosive’, said, “Lenny, that could hurt someone. You can’t do that.”

Lenny, looking for support, did not find any in Bernie’s expression either. After more thought, he said, “I have another one that could work. It detects any movement within a defined radius, and when it finds it, it makes a siren noise, alerting everyone in the area.”

“That sounds perfect,” Bernie said.

* * *

It turned out there was something about Lenny’s booby trap he’d forgotten to mention. It might be more accurate to say he ‘neglected to mention’ in the presence of Suzie. The booby trap did indeed generate a shrill piercing sound, intended to draw everyone in the area to investigate. It also generated an intense flash, rendering anyone in the blast zone temporarily blind. This was to prevent them from running away before the authorities arrived. This was why the tag next to it described it as a ‘Flash Bomb’.

It might have worked well on Billy. As it turned out, it worked very well on cleaning crews.

And Shemal was not happy. Not happy at all.

“Bernie, why did you do this?” Shemal fumed.

Bernie, whose immediate response was to tell the truth, knew he could not reveal the whole truth. “I’m so sorry, sir. I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

“Why, Bernie? Why?” Shemal repeated with an even deeper timbre in his voice.

“I… I… Someone has been messing with my universe, sir. And I wanted them to stop. I thought if they were surprised by the noise, they would run away and think twice before they tried something like this again.”

“What makes you think someone is messing with your universe?” Shemal glared.

“Every few days I find something else wrong with it. I know it wasn’t me, and it takes me hours to fix the problems. Sometimes I don’t see the problem right away, and when I finally notice it, even more things have gone wrong.”

Shemal had heard every excuse by now. And this one wasn’t even original. Some mysterious ‘other person’ did it. This excuse had become common lately; the last several people he’d fired had all tried it. Shemal bit back his first response, which would have been to call such an excuse pure poppycock.

Instead, he said, “It’s a poor workman who blames their problems on other people, Bernie. You have to take responsibility for your mistakes, make an extra effort to fix them, and then do whatever it takes to prevent them from happening again. Is that clear?”

“Yes, sir.”

“I forbid you to do anything like this again. Someone could’ve been hurt. As it was, you scared everyone. This can’t happen again. Do you understand?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Remember what I said, Bernie. Take responsibility for your mistakes, and work harder to make sure they don’t happen again.”

As he walked back to his cubicle, dozens of eyes watched him. Each one expected Bernie to begin clearing out his desk. Only one person was disappointed when Bernie sat down, cleared his workspace, and began work for the day.

That one, of course, was Billy.

Go Home, Bernie

As much as Bernie desperately wanted to win a Universe Award, he knew it wasn’t going to happen. All he wanted was to make sure Billy didn’t destroy his world. Every time he looked at the viewing window of his duplicate universe, he shuddered. The whole world had been reduced to a molten mass, devoid of any life. Billy had destroyed it all.

Shemal had forbidden Bernie to use any kind of booby trap in his cubicle. That left him with only one thing he could do to keep Billy away. He had to guard it personally.

Bernie had slept in his cubicle for the last four days. He never left it, except to use the bathroom. When he got hungry or thirsty, he dipped into Alcandor’s world for something to eat. When he couldn’t stay awake any longer, he draped himself across the viewing window, so no one could get into it without waking him. There were only two more days before the Universe Committee arrived. So far, the plan was working.

“Bernie, we need to talk,” Shemal’s deep voice broke into his thoughts.

“Yes, sir.”

“Have you been sleeping in your cubicle at night?”

“Ah… Yes, sir.”

“Bernie, I won’t have it. I don’t mind people working over or coming in early, but this is not acceptable. Do not do it again. Do you understand?”

“But, sir, I—”

“Do you understand?” Shemal’s tone made it clear he did not want to repeat himself.

“Yes, sir.”

Billy’s Threat

“I can’t believe the Universe Committee is wasting their time on Bernie’s universe. It’s an abomination. Anyone having anything to do with them coming tomorrow is going to look bad.” Billy growled with such intensity, even the people at his table were uncomfortable.

Candi felt trapped, and she wasn’t alone. Jimmy was as afraid of Billy as she was. Had it been only a year since Billy had arrived? So far, nine people had lost their jobs because Billy decided he didn’t like them. He didn’t do the firing himself, but he made it happen. Bernie would be the tenth.

When Billy gets like this
, thought Candi,
it’s best to say nothing. You don’t want to give him a closer target for his anger.
And so, Candi and Jimmy remained silent. Donald, oblivious to the danger, said, “When they see how bad it is, they’re going to be upset with everyone.”

“That’s right, Donald. They are,” said Billy as he raged against the unfairness of the world. “I tried to save everyone from this embarrassment the other night, but it didn’t work out.”

“What happened, Billy?” Donald asked.

Billy looked at the people seated at the table. Candi knew Billy didn’t consider them friends. They provided an audience for him, but there was only one reason for that: they were all terrified of him. She had requested a transfer months ago, but with all the people trying to get out of Final Assembly, it wouldn’t happen soon. She needed to keep her head down while she waited.

“Let’s just say I tried to remove all doubt about Bernie’s incompetence.”

“That was good, Billy. Why didn’t it work?”

“Bernie created a fake universe in his spare time. And the idiot made it exactly like his real universe. He re-created every screw up and every mistake. Basically, I wasted my lesson on a fake universe,” Billy admitted, clearly unhappy about it all.

“So what are you going to do now?”

“When someone doesn’t get it the first time, Donald, what do you have to do? You repeat the lesson, of course.”

“But the Committee is coming tomorrow,” Donald said.

“I know,” Billy said with grim determination.

The Last Goodbye

Alcandor was sitting at his desk, a vacant stare on his face, as Bernie appeared. A pile of untouched and unanswered correspondence was stacked on the corner of his desk.

“This the last night, isn’t it?” Alcandor asked in a quiet voice.

“Yes. The Awards Committee is coming tomorrow morning,” Bernie said softly.

“You’re sure there’s no hope, Bernie?”

“You’ve seen The Museum, Alcandor. I’ve done nothing here that will convince them to give me an award for anything. I’m so sorry. If I was a better god, this might not be happening.” Bernie narrowly succeeded in suppressing a sob.

“I do not blame you, Bernie. No one here blames you. You’ve done your best. It’s time for us to accept our fate.”

Bernie sat in the chair next to Alcandor. They shared a few minutes of silence. Bernie looked at the man next to him. In spite of his youthful appearance, he’d lived thousands of Bernie’s years. Why was he so ready to accept death? Was he weary of living?
No, that’s not it
, thought Bernie. He was a Lord, one of the original beings formed from the universe putty, evolved over eons into the man who sat there. He was very strong.

Alcandor was not thinking of strength. When he finally spoke, he asked quietly, “Can you tell me what it will be like, this end of days? How will it happen? Will our people suffer?”

“No. It’s not like that,” Bernie said, unable to look directly at the man he had come to love. “Someone will just blink everything out. It will be as if it never was. It’s instant. There is no pain,” Bernie said as his eyes clouded with tears.

“That’s good, then.”

Another period of silence followed.

It was Alcandor who spoke first. “My one doubt, Bernie, is whether I should tell the people the fate that awaits us. Don’t they have the right to know? And yet, if there’s nothing we can do, if our end is certain, then isn’t it better to shield them from this knowledge? On this question, my wisdom deserts me. I’ve found no answers.”

Bernie could only think of one thing, and he began again with more conviction than ever. “Alcandor, please don’t stay here. There is still time to save you and some others. I can’t save everyone, but I can save many. Surely that’s better than certain death.”

“Ah, Bernie. Thank you. But this is my world. These are my people. I cannot desert them, even at the end. But I thank you.”

“Alcandor, you must let me do something. I don’t want this to happen. It’s wrong. There has to be something I can do.”

“I know of nothing, Bernie. Nothing at all. After all, it’s not a perfect world.”

“I know that all too well,” Bernie said as his eyes filled with tears.

“I meant no insult by that, Bernie. I know you did the best you could.” Alcandor placed his hand on Bernie’s shoulder.

Bernie tried to hold back his tears. No god he knew cried over his creations. But this was different. These people were honest, and they cared about each other. They’d worked hard to build a good life. They weren’t much different from the gods. In fact, they were a lot like them.
Some of them are even better, I think. They love their families and their children, and they would give anything for them. They’re as worthy of life as anyone on my world.
But they were all going to die. They hadn’t done anything to deserve it. Their only mistake had been to live on the world of a builder so incompetent he couldn’t even save his own job, let alone their world. Someone would just snuff them out. And it was all his fault.

“Bernie, I want to tell you something.” Alcandor gently drew Bernie to a standing position. “I’ve never had children; there never seemed to be the right time for a family. That’s my only regret in leaving this life. I will tell you this: if I ever had a son, Bernie, I would want him to be just like you.”

Bernie reached out to Alcandor and hugged him tight. Alcandor held back nothing with his embrace. As Bernie’s tears flowed down his cheeks, they mingled with the tears of the man who held him.

Billy’s Lesson

It was after midnight when Billy stole back into the office. Doors in town didn’t have locks, so getting in was never a problem. The cleaning crew had finished and was long gone. He wanted no interruptions. He walked quickly through the corridors. Numerous nightlights in the corridors and moonlight through the occasional skylight illuminated his path. Even in the moonlit room, he had no trouble seeing, as he strode confidently to the cubicle next to his.

Billy saw Bernie’s fake universe leaning against the corner wall of his cubicle. He glanced inside and saw his handiwork. The planet was still a red and white-hot molten mass, seething in the black void that surrounded it. Billy took a moment to admire his work. Finally, he said, “It was the right lesson, Bernie. We just have to repeat it until you get it.”

Billy stepped up to the viewing window of Bernie’s universe. “This time, I won’t be fooled by some fake world.”

As Billy moved into Bernie’s universe, he found himself filled with resentment. “I wouldn’t have to be here in the middle of the night if it weren’t for Uncle Shemal,” Billy grumbled. “I don’t know why he’s so thickheaded when it comes to Bernie. I got him to fire Wendy and Stacey and the others easily enough. I just tweaked a few things to make them look bad on Uncle’s Quality Assurance Reports. He couldn’t wait to get rid of them. Well, no matter. When the Committee comes tomorrow and leaves in disgust, Uncle will have to take action. If he doesn’t, then somebody higher up is going to start questioning whether he should keep his job,” Billy said scornfully.

“Let’s see now. It looks like Bernie’s world,” he mumbled as he searched for proof this was the real world. “Ah, there’s Bernie’s gaia. The first time I saw her, I was surprised, because they don’t usually come so quickly. If I’d thought to look for her the other night, I wouldn’t have been fooled by Bernie’s fake.”

Billy drifted closer to the planet, determined not to be tricked again. “I can’t imagine what you’ve been working on all this time, Bernie. It’s just a banged-up world with nothing but plants. It may be the most boring planet ever. No seasons. No range of temperatures. No vertical continents to alter the ocean currents and temperatures to make interesting weather conditions. I had to make the hurricanes and bad weather by myself.” Billy laughed, “Maybe you could win an award for the
Most Boring Universe
.”

As Billy scanned the surface of the planet, he saw the ocean trench Bernie had created to stop his tsunami. The northern pole was still missing. Numerous volcanoes dotted the ocean. There were large swaths of forest across the planet where the hurricanes and tornados had knocked trees flat for miles and miles. There, along the top of Bernie’s central mountain range, he saw evidence of his supervolcanoes. The fires had spread for miles before Bernie had extinguished them. Billy smiled as he considered his handiwork. “This is a masterpiece of proof and more proof of how incompetent Bernie is. What’s wrong with Uncle Shemal that he can’t see the evidence in front of him?”