The Unexpected Bride (The Brides Book 1) (16 page)

Becky circled around once more, then led Siren back to the lean-to, where she settled her back in for the night, giving her a grateful pat and a hug around her long graceful neck.

Becky returned to her room and took a final waltz around the floor. She spun in time with music intended solely for her own ears.

Goodbye, Jack
, she whispered and finally fell to her bed, her face wet with tears. They were old tears, ones she’d bottled up for a long time, and now they came spilling out. She let them fall freely, wanting to get rid of them and move on. It was a release of pent-up emotion, she suspected, the grieving time she’d never allowed herself to have after Jack had come home a married man. After nearly an hour of sobbing, she felt a sense of lightness come over her and an almost overwhelming sense of freedom. Now her new life could begin.

***

After breakfast the next morning, Becky pored over Isaac’s ledger at the kitchen table.

Isaac stood at her elbow, occasionally explaining his shorthand. “That notation there’s for the mill.” He pointed at an “M” followed by a squiggle.

She nodded slowly.

Everything seemed to be in order, but thinking of Jem’s conversation the previous day, Becky knew there must be an error. Isaac, bright as he seemed, must have entered the numbers incorrectly, for he had much more money than could be possible. Looking around the tiny, rundown cabin convinced her she was right. The errors weren’t readily apparent, so she’d have to take some time and go through the books line by line. Run the sums again. It might take a while. And when she did find the trouble, she’d approach him tactfully, of course. She’d learned her lesson with her father. Until then, she’d keep an eye on things, so he didn’t make any costly mistakes. It was all she could do for now.

“Well, I think I can follow your system,” she said brightly.

He handed her a bundle of receipts. “These need to be entered.”

She took them from him, feeling a jolt of awareness as his finger brushed against her palm. He coughed and jerked his hand away. Ducking her head to hide her hurt, she started to untie the string binding the receipts together.

Only, Isaac wasn’t moving away. In fact, he was hovering at her elbow as if he had something to say.

She lifted her brows, curious.

“I need to head into town for some supplies,” he said. He slapped his hat against his thigh, making her realize he’d been holding it for quite some time, a sign that he was indeed preparing to go out. “Would you care to join me?”

He waited with a look of expectation. Hesitation even.

Sort of like a schoolboy asking a girl to a dance.

His invitation brought a smile.

He really had a way about him, confident boss-man one minute, awkward schoolboy the next. It was really rather an appealing combination: strong and competent, but not so full of himself that you couldn’t like him. It stirred her affections, and she found herself wanting to put him at ease.

She also wanted more than anything to go into town.

So she dropped the bundle of receipts on top of the ledger and stood. “Yes.”

***

Isaac immediately stepped back from Rebecca and turned away. He set his hat on his head and then grabbed up his coat, which was hanging over the back of the rocker, where he’d tossed it last night. “I’ll get the horses saddled. Can you be ready to leave quick-like?”

At her swift nod of assent, he crossed the room and walked through the front door without looking back.

Asking her along to buy supplies had been an impulse, Isaac admitted to himself. He didn’t normally make a snap decision like that, and the momentary lapse set him on edge. Her offer to help with the books notwithstanding, he’d come to realize last night that it was time to face facts. He had to resign himself to the number-one fact—that she belonged to another man, just as surely as if she were wed to this
Jack
and not to him.

Isaac scowled. To think he’d actually started to believe things were warming nicely between them. He liked her. He’d thought she liked him. He’d even let himself begin to hope a little...

And then late last night he’d tossed in bed for hours, listening to the sounds of her soft humming through the wall and the swish of her slippers across the bare wood floor.

Even now he could picture her waltzing around the small back room with some phantom lover. But it was the sound of her tears afterwards that had nearly kept him up for hours, long after she’d finally stopped and fallen asleep. She hadn’t just cried, she’d sobbed. And the sound had seemed to reverberate through the thin wall between them. It was so pitiful sounding he’d been tempted to go to her, try to comfort her, but he’d decided his presence wouldn’t be welcome. She’d probably find his intrusion embarrassing.

He’d been a fool. She wasn’t going to forget her old love anytime soon. It was time for both of them to admit the truth. Her heart would always belong to Jack. And Isaac couldn’t live with a woman who belonged to someone else. He was also all too aware that he was weak where she was concerned. If he were really being honest, he’d have to admit his feelings toward her went beyond
like
. Such a tepid word for what he felt. He hadn’t let himself fall in love, but he’d become attached to her. Something lit up inside him whenever she came near. Her soft ways had a way of luring him in, and if he didn’t ship her back to Massachusetts soon, he might be tempted to relent and let her stay.

He didn’t relish telling her that though.

Although asking her along today had been a snap decision, the idea of sending her off well-supplied did seem the right thing to do. He’d satisfy his responsibility to the woman—he had to start thinking of her that way. Put a little distance between them. In a way, he’d be doing her a favor. She could go home and try to mend things with her beau. He’d pay the fare for her voyage, of course.

There was the matter of their own hasty marriage too, but with some discreet legal consultation, Isaac was sure—well, relatively sure—that he could get their marriage annulled. Not that he planned on marrying again anytime soon, despite his father’s touching plea for grandchildren. No, it was Rebecca who would need her freedom to marry Jack. Somehow, he’d find a way to release her from this sham of a marriage.

The thought filled Isaac’s mouth with the bitter taste of ashes.

FIFTEEN

L
ater in town, Isaac dropped Becky at the general store to begin shopping while he went to pick up feed for the animals. Becky was about to enter the store when she caught sight of her friend Meggie sitting in a parked farm wagon.

“Meggie!” Becky called out to her former shipmate and hurried to the wagon’s side.

Meggie waved wildly from her perch. She leaned down and grasped Becky’s outstretched hand. “Becky! It seems like forever.”

“It does seem like forever. Where’s Will?”

“He’s making a deposit at the bank.”

“Are you happy?” Becky asked tentatively, resting her hand on the wagon rail. Her mother would have said it wasn’t polite to pry, but this was her friend. She’d been so lonely for someone to talk to, and now here was Meggie. It was like an answer to a prayer she hadn’t thought to pray.

At her question, Meggie blushed a pretty pink. Her shy girlish grin said more than her softly spoken, “Yes.”

“I’m so happy for you, Meggie.”

“Things are tight on Will’s folks’ farm, but we’re making ends meet. We’ve been married just over two weeks.”

“Us too.”

“What about you? Are you happy with Isaac?”

Becky hesitated, drawing in a deep breath and wishing her troubled thoughts weren’t written as clearly on her face as she knew they were.

“What’s wrong?” The look Meggie gave her was searching, and Becky was sure her friend didn’t miss anything.

Becky looked down the street in the direction Isaac had gone. He’d also agreed to post a letter for her to her mother and had said he’d meet her back at the general store when he was through. Seeing no sign of him, she met Meggie’s concerned gaze.

“Things are strained between us,” she admitted.

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Oh, Meggie, I’m trying to be a good wife for Isaac, but no matter what I do, it doesn’t seem to be enough. I thought things were going better between us, but then this morning he’s been different. I don’t know what happened, but he seems as cold as a mountain stream now.”

“Do you love him?” Her friend probed gently.

Becky hesitated. “My heart’s been so caught up in Jack that I haven’t felt anything for Isaac besides a growing friendship. I respect him though—I really do—and want our marriage to work.”

“But...?”

“I’m just tired, I guess.” Becky sighed heavily, feeling so completely torn in two. It seemed these days she didn’t even know who she was anymore. “I’ve been trying so hard to change...”

“Change what?”

“Oh, there’s this scripture in the Bible, about having a gentle and quiet spirit.”

“I know that one. My mother liked that one a lot,” Meggie said wryly. By which Becky supposed her mother quoted it to her when Meggie was growing up.

“I’m trying, Meggie,” she said. “I really am. I want to be that kind of woman. A better woman.”

“Well, that’s a good thing then, isn’t it?” Meggie smiled encouragingly. “You’re trying.”

“I suppose...but I feel so...so...
not me
.”

Meggie frowned, obviously puzzled. “You mean you have plans you want to push on him—or you keep wanting to strike out at him in some way? You can’t mean that?”

“No! Of course not. I’d never.”

“Then what do you mean?”

“It’s just so hard, not being free to do the things I love.”

“Like what?” Meggie leaned closer, placing her hand over Becky’s, such a warm, thoughtful gesture.

If only we lived closer to each other
, Becky thought. She’d like having a friend to talk to.

“Like riding. I love to ride fast, Meggie,” she confessed. “And I’m trying so hard to be a lady.”

“Well, I like to ride fast too. Sometimes. What’s wrong with that?”

“I like to ride astride,” Becky clarified.

“Me too! I hate a sidesaddle.” Meggie grimaced. “Does that mean
I’m
not a lady?”

“No...of course not. I mean, it’s
the way
I ride.” Becky bit her lip, confused.

Meggie pulled a thoughtful face, as if trying to work a puzzle. Becky knew the feeling. Lately, she’d felt as if a few pieces of her own puzzle were missing. Everything was so jumbled in her head.

Had she been wrong about riding?

It seemed too late now to go back. She’d insisted on riding sidesaddle when Isaac asked her. He’d think it strange if she changed course now. Wouldn’t he?

Her stomach twisted in a knot. What a tangle it all was. She didn’t know how to fix it.

“I don’t think that verse means what you think it means,” Meggie said, her face clearing. As if that was all there was to it, a simple mistake.

She obviously didn’t understand.

Becky just looked at her, disheartened. She’d told Meggie about her troubles with Jack aboard ship, and her friend had listened. She’d hugged Becky and shared her own troubles too, how her father had been killed in the war and how her mother had needed to go live with an aunt. Those late night talks had sealed their friendship. But evidently Becky had left out some crucial details about Jack, because Meggie just didn’t seem to understand.

Becky sighed. It wasn’t a conversation she wanted to have standing in the street. Isaac was about to return any minute.

“It’s complicated,” she said at last. “Maybe someday we could sit over tea and have a chat.”

“I’d like that.” Meggie gave Becky’s hand a pat. Becky shared a look with her, both of them realizing they wouldn’t likely have an opportunity to have tea anytime soon.

Knowing that, Becky felt a sudden surge of urgency. She cast a quick look down the street again and back at Meggie. “I wanted to tell you...I said goodbye to Jack last night,” she whispered.

“You did what?”

“I know it sounds foolish, but I decided to put my memories of him to rest. Like a ceremony, you know? I think I can finally move on now. He’s married to someone else, and that’s never going to change. He’s not mine, and I’m not his. I’m hoping in time I can come to love Isaac. He’s such a good man.”

“Then tell him so.”

“Tell him? You mean, tell him outright—just like that?” Becky wasn’t normally shy, but there was something about Isaac. He had a way about him, sometimes hot, sometimes cold. She didn’t always know how he was going to react.

“Go on, Becky. Tell him how you feel about him. Ask him if he’ll give your marriage a chance to grow. Who knows? Maybe things will improve between you. From what you’ve said, he sounds like a good man. Maybe you just need to clear the air between you.”

Hearing Meggie’s words of encouragement gave Becky a surge of hope. Maybe offering Isaac her friendship and respect would soften his attitude toward her.