The Undoing of de Luca (22 page)

She’d been lucky to find a job so quickly; a literature teacher had been taking maternity leave, and the school had been glad to have a qualified teacher willing to work for just a few months. Ellery didn’t mind the temporary nature of the position; she needed time to decide just what her next step would be.

Even after a month in the city, she wasn’t used to the noise of the traffic, the crowds on the streets. She enjoyed going out with friends again and her regular lunches with Lil, yet she missed the one thing she thought she’d wouldn’t: the peaceful solitude of her life at Maddock Manor.

She paused in front of a newsagent’s; the shopkeeper was busy hauling papers and magazines back into the tiny shop, out of the wet. One glossy cover caught her eye, the splash of colour against gloomy grey all too familiar.

She reached for it, a heavy fashion magazine she’d never bothered with before.

De Luca’s Delicious Designs
, the cover read. On it, a model lounged against the fireplace, resplendent in fuchsia.

‘You going to pay for that, miss?’ the shopkeeper asked, a hint of surly impatience in his voice.

Ellery hesitated, and then she smiled and put it back. ‘No,’ she said, ‘no, I’m not. Thanks, anyway.’

And she moved on.

The snow was coming down more heavily now, the grass clumped with white. Perhaps it would be a white Christmas after all; it was just a few days away. Ellery was spending the day with friends and then going down to Cornwall for Boxing Day. Afterwards, she would head back to Suffolk, to see how the renovation was going. She was looking forward to that—to seeing Maddock Manor put to good use.

In front of the block of slightly shabby mansion flats where she’d found a short-term let, she fumbled for her key. The light in front of the doorway had gone out a few weeks ago and no one had bothered to replace it, so the entryway was cloaked in darkness.

And from that darkness a voice drifted out, an achingly familiar voice that had Ellery stilling even as her heart rate kicked up a notch and her hands, still fumbling for her key, began to tremble.

‘Nice shoes.’

Her fingers closed around the key as she glanced down at her wellies. She’d exchanged her school flats for the sensible boots when she’d headed out into the snow.

She lifted her head, trying to peer into the darkness. Could it really be—? ‘They’re just boots,’ she said.

‘I think I first fell in love with you when you were wearing wellies,’ Larenz said, and stepped out of the darkness.

He looked so wonderfully the same, the same curly hair and glinting eyes, and yet something was different. There was a sorrow to him now, Ellery thought, a sadness in the shadow of his eyes, in the slight slump of his shoulders.

Then his words registered and her heart bumped harder.
I fell in love with you.
‘You didn’t,’ she said, her voice no more than a whisper.

‘I didn’t fall in love with you?’ Larenz filled in. His hands were shoved deep in the pockets of his coat and snowflakes dusted his hair. ‘Well, I certainly tried to convince myself that I didn’t. The last thing I ever wanted was to fall in love with anyone.’

Ellery’s throat was tight, the possibility of hope making her dizzy with fear. Even now, she was afraid. ‘Why are you here, Larenz?’

‘I would have thought it was obvious. I came to say I’m sorry.’

Disappointment welled up inside her, a big dark cloud of sorrow. She nodded tightly. ‘Fine. You’ve said it.’

‘Oh, but I have a lot more to say than that,’ Larenz told her softly. ‘And I said I
came
to say I’m sorry. I haven’t really said it yet.’

Ellery blinked hard and the threat of tears mercifully receded for a moment. ‘Don’t tease me,’ she whispered, when what she really meant was,
Don’t break my heart. Again.

‘Trust me, Ellery,’ Larenz said, his voice low. ‘I’m not teasing.’

She didn’t trust herself to speak, so she just nodded. She unlocked the front door and led Larenz up the dim narrow stairwell to the second floor.

‘It’s not much,’ she said as she opened the door and switched on the lights. ‘It’s a partially furnished sublet. But at least the heating works.’

‘Indeed,’ Larenz murmured. He looked incongruous in the flat’s tiny lounge, with its hard ugly sofa and scarred coffee table. Ellery shed her coat and boots, dropping her handbag on the table. The actions covered the lack of words.

‘Do you want something to drink?’ she finally said. ‘A tea or coffee?’

‘I don’t think what I have to say will take that long,’ Larenz said after a moment, and Ellery’s heart plummeted.

‘Oh, all right then,’ she said uncertainly and stood there, awkward in her stocking feet.

‘Ellery, I love you.’ Larenz met her gaze directly, his own open and honest and so achingly vulnerable. ‘I love you so much that the last few months have been a living hell for me. I tried to fight it. God knows, I’ve been fighting it since I first laid eyes on you.’ Ellery opened her mouth, but no words came out. Her mind spun. ‘You had me sussed completely,’ Larenz said with a small smile. ‘I was afraid. I’ve been afraid for a long time.’ He passed a hand over his face as he let out a rather shaky laugh. ‘I’ve never admitted that to anyone—even myself—before.’

‘Thank you for telling me,’ Ellery whispered.

‘I know the moment I decided I wasn’t going to let anyone close,’ Larenz told her. ‘I was fourteen and my mother finally told me who my father was. I went to see him—at the palazzo I took you to. I walked up that long drive and knocked on the door.’ He shook his head, remembering. ‘It was a foolish thing to do, of course. I wasn’t expecting him to embrace me. I wasn’t that naive. But I thought…’ He paused, swallowing. ‘I thought he’d acknowledge me at least. Something. But he didn’t. Not a word except “I don’t know you”. He said that twice. And, as I was leaving, he had his thugs come out and tell me they’d rough me up if I ever showed my face around there again.’ Larenz sighed. ‘You said your story was tired and trite, and I suppose mine is, too. We were both at the mercy of our unhappy families and let it cloud our judgement. It made us protect our hearts.’

He took a step towards her. ‘But I don’t want it to ruin my life. I don’t want to live that way any more, Ellery. I think I convinced myself I was happy, keeping everyone at a distance, letting them be no more than a
just
, like you said. But it’s a half life at best and, even so, I think I could have gone on living it…if I hadn’t met you.’

Ellery swallowed, her throat aching with suppressed emotion. The fear was crumbling away, leaving something sure and shining and true. Yet, even now, she wondered if she could trust it. ‘What are you saying, Larenz?’

‘I’m saying,’ he said, his voice raw, ‘that I’m sorry for treating you the way I did, for pushing you away because I was so afraid to pull you close. For acting like you were just my mistress when I already knew you were the love of my life.’

‘Oh, Larenz—’ Ellery stopped, her words choking. ‘Forgiven,’ she managed, her voice no more than a breath, and Larenz crossed the small space between them to pull her into his arms.

Ellery came into the embrace easily, her hands running up his arms to his shoulders and then to his face, relishing and revelling in the remembered feel of him.

‘I have more to say,’ Larenz told her. ‘I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. It doesn’t matter where. Milan or London or that Manor of yours—’

‘I told you, I sold it,’ Ellery said.

‘I know, but we can buy it back. I know how much that house means to you.’

She shook her head. ‘No, it didn’t mean that much in the end. I was holding on to it because it felt like a validation of my life, my self, but it wasn’t. It was just a house, and a rather unhappy one at that. I sold it to a charity.’ She smiled, the knowledge still making her happy, even now. ‘It’s going to be a home for single mothers who need a safe place to stay. It felt like the right thing to do…considering.’

‘It sounds like the right thing,’ Larenz said and kissed her.

‘I also wrote a letter,’ Ellery continued quietly. ‘To Diane…and David. I don’t know what kind of relationship we can have, but I felt like I needed to reach out to them.’

‘That must have been a difficult thing to do.’

Ellery gave a shaky laugh. ‘Yes, it was. I haven’t heard back yet, though.’

‘All these changes,’ Larenz murmured. ‘I suppose I should tell you I sold my palazzo, as well.’

‘You did?’

‘Yes, to a family with five children. They were running around the garden even as we signed the deal. It will be a happy place now. Happy and full.’

‘That’s good,’ Ellery whispered. She buried her face in his neck for a moment, breathing in the wonderful scent of him, before she said, ‘I suppose we’ll need a new place to live, then.’

‘Does that mean you’re accepting my proposal?’

‘Well…’ Ellery felt a smile bloom across her face. ‘I wasn’t aware you’d actually asked.’

‘Forgive me,’ Larenz murmured and dropped to one knee. Ellery laughed aloud as he pulled a small velvet box from his pocket and flipped it open to reveal a gorgeous antique diamond ring. ‘Ellery Dunant, Lady of Maddock, Lady of Shalott, lady of my heart, will you marry me?’

‘Yes,’ she whispered and then, louder, ‘yes, yes, yes.’

She pulled Larenz to his feet and, as he claimed her mouth in a kiss once more, she knew
this
was the happy ending they’d both been searching for. Neither of them were alone or afraid; there was simply love.

Love, and bright shining joy.

All the characters in this book have no existence outside the imagination of the author, and have no relation whatsoever to anyone bearing the same name or names. They are not even distantly inspired by any individual known or unknown to the author, and all the incidents are pure invention.

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First published in Great Britain 2010

Harlequin Mills & Boon Limited,

Eton House, 18-24 Paradise Road, Richmond, Surrey TW9 1SR

© Kate Hewitt 2010

ISBN: 978-1-408-91926-2