The Undead World (Book 1): The Apocalypse (34 page)

“
I suppose,” she said and gave him a tiny smile. She then glanced up at Sadie. “And you. I'm so thankful that I have you and Neil on my side, but I can't have you getting hurt over something like this, Sadie. They're just words. Just mean words that…that are unfortunately true.”

Sadie answered her smile with one of her own and then she turned it into an acid glare for Cassie and she was joined by Neil who said in the clipped tones of an angry patriarch,
“You had better watch how you talk to the people I care about.”

The episode set a damper on the evening and they soon made ready for bed. The night was chill and the group slept split apart. Neil made a makeshift tent from sheets and used all the blankets he could find for warmth and padding for his group and they snuggled up close to one another—and Ram was envious.

Ram's group of three, slept in separate sleeping bags and there was space between each. He had wiggled in close to Julia, however she was concerned with Cassie. The girl seemed to be pulling away and Julia didn't want to alienate her any more for fear that she would lash out.

However, Cassie acted cool the following morning as though the night before had been of little importance. She didn
't fool Ram. Her eyes were quick to glare and her lips were always a half second from sneering. To him it was astonishing who seemed to make her the most upset.

“
So what do you think of the new people?” Ram asked as the others left to have a long talk by themselves.

“
Ok I guess. Usual white folk. Whatever.”

He looked at her close.
“Ok? I expected you to have more choice words than that. Especially about Sadie.”

“
I like her the most. Shit, at least she gots some balls. Not like that Michael J. Fox lookin motherfuckin Neil. Did you hear them go on about him being heroic? Shit. I'm stronger than that dude.”

She probably wasn
't far off. Cassie was taller than Neil by a few inches and was likely close to the same weight. “And Sarah?”

“
You mean the Jennifer Aniston wanna be?” Cassie laughed at her own joke. “I do declare, I almost had a man in me! Whatever will I do but cry? Shit. She and Julia are exactly why you shoulda hooked up with me. They haven't gone through nothing like what I did and do you see me cryin? Hell no. I'm tougher than all of them put together. Shit, I'm even tougher than you.”

“
You are,” Ram admitted. He was slowly getting better; he could feel it on a daily basis. “But it's turning you like leather inside. It can't be good for you.”

“
You sound like Julia. She's the weakest and the worst of them all.”

Ram couldn
't believe his ears. “She's nicer to you than anyone! She's always on your side.”

“
And why is that?” Cassie replied putting a hand on her hip. “Because she thinks I'm the weak one. Admit it. She is so afraid of my poor little black mind. She afraid I'll get hurt up in here. That I'll go crazy or something. Does she treat Sadie like this? No. She condescends every time she speaks to me. She's always speaking down to me. I hate her because she's the worst type of racist. The type that think they can relate; the type who keeps a black friend on hand so they can pull the:
Some of my best friends are black
line. Shit. Gimme a klansman any day. At least I know where I stand: they hate me and I hate them.”

“
You are one messed up girl,” Ram said. “With all your hate, you're going to have a tough time of it at the CDC. What color do you think the majority of their scientists are going to be? Ninety-nine percent of them are going to be white or asian. What are you going to do then? Hate everyone?”

“
When you put it like that, maybe I don't want to go.”

Amazingly, she was serious, but Ram wouldn
't find out how serious or how deep her hatred ran for another two days. And what with the sudden appearance of a baby in their lives he forgot the conversation and failed to notice the smoldering anger in Cassie's eyes.

Ram had been an excellent test for Sarah. Not only was he a strong, virile man—tall, dark, and handsome—he was also a good man. A caring man.

And Sarah felt nothing for him. This she found ve
ry interesting. In the old days, had he asked her, she would have accepted an invitation to go out with him in a snap, and even though she had officially sworn off all men, since a zombie apocalypse seemed the worst possible time to consider romance, she found herself attracted to the least likely man.

Neil Martin. Before all this she would never have gone out with him. He was cute in his way, but was so slim and small. She had always liked her men to dominate her physically. It made her feel safe and warm.

Yet there she was, looking eye to eye with this little man, and the feeling of being safe was there. And so was the warmth. It made no sense, especially since she had torpedoed his advances early on—though clearly her torpedo had turned out to be a dud, since he had continued to fall for her at a rapid pace.

Sarah suspected it might have been Sadie
's near constant cheerleading for Neil that had her finally giving him a second look. Or it might have been Sarah herself, coming out of the fugue state she had been in after her parents died…after she killed her parents, that is.

Or it might have been just Neil being Neil. If this was so, what did it say about her? Clearly it showed that she had been a very shallow person back in the old days, where she had taken men based more on
their looks and confidence than anything else. And what had these men been so confident about? Certainly not their intelligence, emotional maturity, or their level of commitment, which was rarely anything but average. They were just confident that women were shallow creatures and wouldn't look beyond their height.

Whatever it was, she smiled now every time she thought of Neil, and the night before she had purposely nudged Sadie from her customary place in the middle of the bed and took it for herself.
I want to be warm tonight
, she had said as an excuse, to which Sadie, with shrewd eyes, had replied in a whisper,
He's all warmth
. And Sadie had been right. Sarah had never in her life felt the warmth of love as she did that night, because it wasn't just Neil that warmed her, it was Sadie as well.

They smushed in to her, and cuddled her; something her husband and daughter had stopped doing fifteen years before. She didn
't realize how much she missed the feeling until just then. Of course because of her torpedo, she had to invite Neil close. After only six days together she knew what sort of gentleman he was—upon his honor, he would keep a safe, platonic distance from her and rigidly maintain his station all night long.

Her invitation had been that of a second grader. She had reached out for his hand and held it, pulling it close to her chest…the upper part of her chest, right below the soft spot of her throat. He had scooted over and very tentatively kissed her once on the lips. This made her grin
, and anxious that his little kiss was wrong or perhaps comical he had whispered:
What is it
? Her reply:
Right now, I'm happy
.

This was only partly true. She realized just then that she had been happy frequently in the last few days; at odd times and for little reason besides looking at him after arguing with Sadie, or nibbling at the rabbit he had cooked, or watching him scurrying around trying to make sure she was happy. He was OCD alright, but out here, her happiness was his compulsion.

All of this made her wonder why Sadie had, right from the get go, been foursquare behind the two of them getting together. Before they climbed into the Suburban that morning, she had asked her.

“
Because he never judged me. Not once. I robbed him and left him to die…twice. I left him stranded in his home without food, where he would've starved to death, and then later he should've been killed by John. I knew he would be, but I was sick of John and I ran away instead of helping Neil. And he never judged me. You'd be surprised how rare that is. Ever since then we have been like this.” She held up crossed fingers. “So that's it. I want him to be happy. And I want you to be happy. You won't find a better man.”

It was true she wouldn
't find a man like Neil. He rolled with every punch, took what life gave him and found a way to make it better—though not for himself. He found a way to make it better for those he cared about. Even when confronted with the possibility of becoming an instant parent, he didn't consider how it would affect himself. He only nodded to Sarah, giving her free rein to make a decision, though in this she was too slow.

Low on water, they slipped into the quiet town of Shelbyville, Tennessee and
, on a recommendation from Ram, had driven to a largely deserted office park. After killing a few zombies in a quiet manner—Neil had picked up an axe at the house they had spent the night in—they raided the offices of a phone company. Giving them all sorts of goodies to eat and drink.

They were just loading up, or rather Neil was straining under the weight of a huge water jug, when a truck could be heard coming towards them, rattling and clanking as if it was losing pieces with every rotation of its bald tires. The truck turned out to be just as it sounded.

“Let's be careful,” Ram advised, turning his SAW towards the truck. “Friendly, but careful.” Everyone kept their weapons in hand until they saw that it was only an older couple and not a band of desperados. They were the opposite of thieves in fact. Where one took items by force, these people practically gave items by force.

“
Hey there,” the woman said around a thickly accented tongue. “I'm so happy to see people, it's been so long. I'm Emily and that's Robert…and this is Evangeline. Though we call her Eve as a way to hope. You know? Like the biblical Eve.”

Emily, with the truck still rocking from the quick stop, came forward with a baby that couldn
't have been more than two weeks old. It was wrapped in a pink blanket and Sarah immediately felt something inside her, like a low frequency echo that shimmied up from her uterus and into her heart.

“
A baby!” Sadie said going forward automatically and without question to take the offered child. “She's precious. And look at her tiny nose.”

Ram scratched at the stubble of his chin, glanced once at Neil, who only gave a little shrug, and then said,
“It's good to see friendly people as well. You can't be certain of anything these days.”

“
I know,” Emily agreed. “You passed our place a good twenty minutes ago and I took one look at you and thought—what nice people.”

“
Don't forget her bag,” Robert said from the driver's seat. Emily snapped her fingers, remembering, and went back to the truck. “Can't forget her stuff,” he added in a drawl.

“
Her stuff?” Ram asked. He turned to the others, but the women, all save Cassie, were fussing over the baby and Neil only stood there wearing a look of growing alarm. “Why do you need to get her stuff?”

“
Because, silly,” Emily answered.

“
A baby needs her stuff,” Robert commented.

Neil came forward and after clearing his throat—uselessly it turned out—he choked out the words,
“Are you giving us this baby?” he flicked his eyes to Ram in confusion, then back to the old couple. “You can't just give away babies.”

“
You should see her toes, Neil,” Sadie squealed. “Oh my God! They are like this big.” She held her fingers a quarter inch apart. “Come see.” The baby was tiny and perfect and so out of place in this new world that she seemed like something left over or forgotten, something that couldn't be. Sarah reached out and the baby grabber her finger and the echo grew within her.

The
old man saw this and gave a chuckle. “Yes, she has very cute toes and what a grip, right? And you should see her yawn. Just adorable. But that's not all, she's a good sleeper,” he said as though he were selling a used car and pointing out its finer aspects.

“
Hold on.” Ram came limping forward. “We're not in a position to take this baby.”

“
And we're not in a position to keep her,” Emily said. She brought out a pink diaper bag and when Ram didn't make a move to take it from her she draped it on the muzzle of his machine gun. “Her mother came to us hot with the fever. She was ragged and delirious, but somehow she kept little Eve perfectly whole. She died a little later and Robert had to send her on proper.”

“
But…” Ram said. He had nothing to follow up his one word argument except a slow shake of his head. This did little to deter Emily.

“
We took the baby on, because that's what good Christians do, but we're old and we can't nearly support ourselves in these times. A baby needs a proper mother and father to protect her. You people are strong. You could do it.”

“
We can,” Sarah announced, firmly. “And we will.” She looked to Neil then and he gave her the smile that she knew she would see.

Emily breathed a huge sigh of relief and then came forward with two more bags. These she handed to Neil.
“We prayed that Eve would be placed in good hands, and God has clearly blessed her. Thank you. Take good care of her now.”

Just like that they had a baby.

“Do you want to hold her, Neil?” Sadie asked as soon as the couple had driven off. Neil shook his head as if to clear it of a buzzing sound and Ram only blinked dazedly.

“
I'll take her,” Julia said. It was more of an urgent demand than anything else, and in seconds, the woman whom Sarah viewed as sometimes cold and scientifically aloof, had turned into a cooing, goofy-faced girl. “Who's the cutest? Huh? Who's the cutest baby ever?”

“
I wouldn't get too attached,” Cassie said after a single peek at Eve.

“
I say otherwise,” Julia said, turning hard as rock, like no one there had ever seen her. “A baby needs instant bonding. They need to be loved! They need to be protected. Don't you know anything?”

Cassie blew out a tsk of dismissal.
“I know the weak die. That's what I know. And that little thing is as weak as they come.”

“
That's why she needs a mother,” Julia said. “I should be her mother.” This brought on a general clamor from everyone—Sarah and Sadie making demands of their own, Cassie laughing derisively, and Ram choking on air. Julia seemed adamant. Her lips were drawn in and her back was rigid as she clutched Eve to her breast.

Only Neil had been quiet and now he stepped up with a quick nervous smile, trying to calm them all.
“Julia may be right…no, she is right about one thing. This baby needs a permanent mother. Though who it should be doesn't have to be decided right now, or even today.”

“
Why can't we share her?” Sadie asked. “I mean share the responsibilities and all that.”

“
I'm sure we will, whoever becomes her mother…or father, will need all of our help. But we have to agree on a single person who's to adopt her. What happens if the group breaks up? We can't share her then, can we? It should be decided before that becomes an issue.”

“
How are we going to decide?” Sadie asked. “By vote? Because I want to be considered. I have experience with babies. I babysat all the time before and I'm nice and I'd be a great mother, I think.”

Sarah raised her hand.
“Me too. I'd like to be Evangeline's mother.”

Out of the blue, Julia cried,
“You already had a baby!” She said it as if it were an accusation. The words struck Sarah like a slap in the face and she went numb after gasping once. Next to her, Sadie's eyes flared, but Julia held a hand out to her, pointing. “And you have Sadie,” she said in desperation. “And you have Neil. You still have a chance, but I don't. I can't get pregnant.”

This brought Sadie up short and she looked to Sarah for guidance, but before she could say anything, Cassie put in her two cents,
“What about me? I could be its mother. And I don't have any man, unlike you two, so I can't get pregnant neither.”

This was met with silence until Sadie said in a cold voice,
“Don't expect too many votes. A proper mother doesn't refer to a child as a thing or an it, as you have.”

“
Hold on now, this is all going too fast,” Neil said. “Before we vote I think we need to think things through. Let's just give ourselves a few minutes to calm down. This is a big decision for all of us.”

This was agreed to and the group drifted apart. Julia and Ram went to sit in the truck, while Sadie took Eve and crooned to her gently. Cassie watched with a disgusted look. And Sarah was in pain.

“Julia's right,” she said to Neil right off the bat when they were left alone. “I don't deserve her. I had my chance and now everyone knows I'm an unfit mother.”

“
Slow down, please,” he begged. “No one thinks that. I know I don't, and Sadie doesn't. You were just an unlucky mother. No one was allowed to drive anywhere and they closed the airports. How were you supposed to get your daughter?”