The Unconsoled (33 page)

Boris wearily fought off his mother's embrace and went off again. Sophie watched him with a smile, then turned to me, saying:

'Hadn't we better be setting off soon? The Karwinsky Gallery, it might take some time from here.'

'Yes,' I said and glanced at my watch. 'Yes, you have a point.' I turned to the stocky woman who had come back into the room. 'Perhaps you could advise us,' I said to her. 'I'm not entirely certain which bus will take us to this gallery. Do you know if it's coming in soon?'

'To the Karwinsky Gallery?' The stocky woman gave me a look of contempt and only Boris's presence seemed to stop her adding something sarcastic. Then she said: 'You won't get a bus out to the Karwinsky Gallery from here. You'd have to take a bus back into the city centre. Then you'd have to wait for a tram outside the library. There's no way you'll make it on time.'

'Ah. What a pity. I'd been relying on a bus being available.'

The stocky woman gave me another scornful look, then said: 'Take my car. I won't be needing it this evening.'

'That's awfully kind of you,' I said. 'But are you sure we won't be…'

'Oh, cut the crap, Ryder. You need the car. There's no other way you'd get out to the Karwinsky Gallery in time. Even with a car, you'd have to be starting out right now.'

'Yes,' I said, 'that's just what I was thinking. But look, we don't want to inconvenience you.'

'You can just take a few boxes of books with you. I won't be able to carry them if I have to go in by bus tomorrow.'

'Yes, of course. Whatever we can do.'

'Just drive them round to Hermann Roth's shop in the morning, any time before ten.'

'Don't worry, Kim,' Sophie said before I could say anything. 'I'll see to all that. You're so good.'

'Okay, you guys had better start moving. Hey, young feller' -the stocky woman gestured to Boris - 'why don't you help me load up these books?'

For the next few minutes I found myself alone at the window gazing out at the view. The others had disappeared into a bedroom and I could hear them talking and laughing behind me. It occurred to me I should go in and assist them, but then I saw the importance of my taking the opportunity to collect my thoughts on the evening ahead, and I went on staring down at the artificial lake. Some children had started to kick a ball against the fence on the far side of the water, but otherwise the perimeter areas were deserted.

Eventually I heard the stocky woman calling me and became aware that they were waiting to leave. I came into the hallway to find Sophie and Boris, each carrying a cardboard box, already going out into the corridor. They began to argue about something as they set off down the staircase.

The stocky woman was holding open the front door for me. 'Sophie's determined it goes well tonight,' she said, her voice lowered. 'So don't let her down again, Ryder.'

'Don't worry,' I said. 'I'll make sure everything goes well.'

She gave me a hard look, then turned and went down the staircase jingling her keys.

I followed after her. We were on the second flight down when I saw a woman coming up the stairs with a tired gait. The figure squeezed past the stocky woman with a muttered 'excuse me' and we had already passed each other before I realised that it was Fiona Roberts, still in her ticket inspector's uniform. She too did not seem to recognise me until the last moment - the light was poor on the stairs - but she turned wearily, a hand on the metal banister, and said:

'Oh, here you are. It's good of you to be so punctual. I'm sorry I was a little longer than I said. There was a re-routing, a tram on the eastern circuit, so my shift went on much longer. I hope you haven't been waiting here long.'

'No, no.' I drifted back up a step or two. 'Not long at all. But unfortunately, my schedule has got very tight…'

'It's all right, I won't take any more of your time than necessary. Actually, I have to tell you, I phoned round the girls, just as we said, I phoned from the depot canteen during my break. I told them to expect me with a friend, but I didn't actually tell them it was
you
. I was going to at first, just as we'd agreed, but I started by phoning Trude and as soon as I heard that voice, the way she said: "Oh yes, it's you, dear," I could hear so much in that voice, so much patronising bile. I could tell how all day she'd been talking about me, one phone call after another, with Inge and all the rest of them, discussing last night, all of them pretending to feel pity for me, saying how they'd have to treat me with sympathy, after all I was like an ill person, it was their duty to be kind. But of course they couldn't keep me, how could someone like me be part of the Foundation? Oh, they'll have enjoyed themselves today, I could hear it all, just in the way she said it as soon as I phoned. "Oh yes, it's
you
, dear." And I thought, all right then, let's not give you any warning. Let's see where you get by not believing me. That's what I thought to myself. I thought, let's hope you're completely thrown when you open the door and see who's standing there next to me. Let's hope you've got your worst clothes on, perhaps your
sportswear
, and all your make-up's off so that mound next to your nose is completely visible, and that your hair's pinned back the way you do sometimes that makes you look at least fifteen years older. And let's hope your apartment's looking a mess, with all those stupid magazines, those scandal sheets and romantic novelettes you read littering the furniture, and you'll be so thrown you won't know what to say, you'll be so embarrassed about everything, and you'll make it worse by saying one completely inane thing after another. And you'll offer refreshments then find you're short of everything, and you'll feel so foolish for never having believed me. Let's do that, I thought. So I never told her, I didn't tell any of them. I just said I'd be coming round with a friend.' She stopped and calmed herself a little. Then she said: 'I'm sorry. I hope I didn't sound vindictive. But I've been longing for this all day. It kept me going, doing all those tickets, it kept me going. The passengers must have wondered why I was going around like that, you know, with a gleam in my eye. Well, if you've got a tight schedule, I suppose we ought to start straight away. We can start at Trude's. Inge should be with her, she usually is at this time of the day, so we can deal with them both first off. I hardly care about the others. I just want to see the looks on the faces of those two. Well, let's go.'

She started up the stairs, all her former weariness gone. The stairs seemed to go on endlessly, one flight after another, until I was struggling for breath. Fiona, however, did not appear to be exerting herself at all. As we climbed she continued to talk, her voice lowered as though people might be listening all around us.

'You don't have to say too much to them,' I heard her saying at one point. 'Just let them fawn over you for a few minutes. But of course you might want to discuss your parents with them.'

When we finally came off the staircase I was so out of breath -my chest was actually wheezing -I was unable to attend much to the surroundings. I was aware of being led down a dim corridor past rows of doors and that Fiona, oblivious of my difficulties, was marching on ahead. Then suddenly she stopped and knocked at a door. Catching up with her, I was obliged to lean a hand on the door frame, my head bowed, in an effort to recover my breath. When the door opened, I must have presented a somewhat crumpled figure beside the triumphant Fiona.

'Trude,' Fiona said. 'I've brought a friend with me.'

With an effort I straightened myself and smiled pleasantly.

16

The woman who had opened the door was around fifty, plump with short white hair. She was wearing a loose pink jumper and baggy striped trousers. Trude glanced towards me briefly, then, noticing nothing out of the ordinary, turned to Fiona and said: 'Oh, yes. Well, I suppose you ought to come in.'

The condescension was obvious, but appeared only to heighten Fiona's anticipation, and she gave me a conspiratorial smile as we followed Trude inside.

'Is Inge here with you?' Fiona asked as we came into a tiny entrance hall.

'Yes, we've just come back,' Trude said. 'As it happens, we've got a lot to report. And since you just happened to call, you'll be the first to hear our news. That's lucky for you.'

This last remark seemed to be made entirely without irony. Trude then disappeared through a door, leaving us standing in the tiny hall, and we could hear her voice from within saying: 'Inge, it's Fiona. And some friend of hers. I suppose we ought to tell her what happened to us this afternoon.'

'Fiona?' Inge's voice sounded mildly outraged. Then with an effort, she said: 'Well, I suppose she ought to come in.'

Hearing this exchange, Fiona once again smiled excitedly at me. Then Trude's head peered round the door and we were shown into the lounge.

The room was not unlike the stocky woman's in size and shape, though the furniture was fussier and dominated by floral patterns. Perhaps it was simply that this apartment faced a different direction, or perhaps the sky outside had cleared a little. In any case, the afternoon sun was drifting in through the large window and as I stepped into the light I fully expected the two women to start with recognition. Fiona obviously did so too for I noticed how she carefully stood to one side in case her presence lessened the impact. Neither Trude nor Inge, however, appeared to register anything. They each cast a quick uninterested glance at me and then Trude invited us, rather coldly, to sit down. We did so side by side on a narrow couch. Fiona, though initially bewildered, seemed to conclude that this unexpected turn of events could serve only to intensify the moment of revelation once it came, and gave me another gleeful little grin.

'Shall I tell her or do you want to?' Inge was saying.

Trude, who clearly deferred to the younger woman, said: 'No, you tell it, Inge. You deserve to. But Fiona' - she turned to us -'you're not to go around telling people yet. We want to keep it a surprise for the meeting tonight, that's only fair. Oh, didn't we tell you about tonight's meeting? Well, there, we've just told you. Do come if you've got time. Though since you've got your friend staying with you' - she nodded towards me - 'we'll understand perfectly if you're not able to come. But Inge, you tell it, you deserve to, really.'

'Well, Fiona, I'm sure you'll be interested in this, we've had a most exciting day. As you know, Mr von Braun had invited us to his office today to discuss with him personally our plans for looking after Mr Ryder's parents. Oh, you didn't know? I thought you
all
knew. Well, we'll be reporting in detail tonight just how the meeting went, I'll just tell you for now it went very nicely indeed, even if it had to be cut a little short. Oh, Mr von Braun was so apologetic about that, he couldn't have been more so, could he, Trude? He was so apologetic about having to get away early, but when we learnt the reason, well, then we understood perfectly. You see, there'd been this very important trip arranged to the zoo. Ah, you might laugh, Fiona dear, but this was no ordinary trip to the zoo. An official party, including naturally Mr von Braun himself, was going to take Mr Brodsky there. Do you know, Mr Brodsky had never been to the zoo? But the point was, Miss Collins had been persuaded to be there. Yes, at the zoo! Can you imagine that? After all these years! And no more than Mr Brodsky deserves, that's what we both said immediately. Yes, Miss Collins was going to be there when they arrived, she'd be waiting at an agreed place, and the official party would encounter her, and she would exchange conversation with Mr Brodsky. It had all been arranged. Can you imagine it? They were going to meet and actually talk after all this time! We said we could understand
perfectly
why our meeting had to be cut short, but Mr von Braun, he was so kind to us, he obviously felt badly about it, he said to us: "Why don't you ladies also come along to the zoo? I can't very well ask you to join the official party, but you could perhaps look on from a little distance." We said we'd be absolutely thrilled. And that's when he said to us: "Of course, if you do as I suggest, you'll not only get a glimpse of Mr Brodsky's first encounter with his wife after all this time, you'll" - and he paused, didn't he, Trude? he paused, then he said, cool as you like - "you'll also be able to see at close quarters Mr Ryder, who has most kindly agreed to be part of the official party. And if an opportune moment arises, though I can't guarantee this, I'll signal to you ladies and I could introduce you both to him." We were absolutely stunned! But of course, when we thought about it afterwards on the way home, we were just saying so to each other just now, when you think more carefully about it, it wasn't so surprising really. After all, we've come a long way in the last few years, what with the bunting for the Peking people, and all the effort we put into the sandwiches for the Henri Ledoux lunch…'

'The Peking Ballet, that was the real turning point,' Trude put in.

'Yes, that was the turning point. But I suppose we'd never really stopped to think about it, we'd just been getting on with things, going hard at it, we probably never realised how much we were going up all the time in everyone's esteem. The truth is, quite honestly, we've now become a very important part of life in this city. It's high time we realised that. Let's face it, that's why Mr von Braun invites us
personally
to his office, why he ends up suggesting the sorts of things he suggested today. "If an opportune moment arises, I'll introduce you to him." That's what he said, wasn't it, Trude? "I know Mr Ryder would be delighted to meet you both, especially since you'll be looking after his parents, a matter of the utmost concern for him." Of course, we'd always said, hadn't we, that once we'd been given this assignment, we had a good chance of being introduced to Mr Ryder. But we hadn't expected it to happen quite so soon and so we were very excited. Fiona, what's wrong, dear?'

Beside me, Fiona had been shifting impatiently, trying to interrupt the flow of Inge's words. Now that Inge had paused, Fiona nudged my arm and gave me a look as though to say: 'Now! This is the moment!' Unfortunately I was still a little out of breath from the climb up the stairs and this perhaps caused me to hesitate. In any case there was an awkward moment when all three women were staring at me. Then, when I said nothing, Inge went on: