The Ultimate Secret (5 page)

how big are you

I
GUESS IT DEPENDS ON HOW YOU MEASURE IT.
T
HE
M
ASTER
S
YSTEM, IN
R
OME, TAKES UP ONE WHOLE FLOOR OF THE
P
ALAZZO
S
ENATORIO ON
C
APITOLINE
H
ILL, OR A LITTLE OVER ONE THOUSAND SQUARE METRES.
B
UT SINCE
I
AM MADE UP OF ALL MY PARTS, YOU COULD SAY
I
EXTEND ALL THE WAY FROM
T
URIN TO
V
ARNA; THAT’S MORE THAN ONE THOUSAND, FIVE HUNDRED KILOMETRES FROM END TO END
!

how big are the other arrays

W
ELL, NOW.
M
NEMOSYNE, IN
L
ONDON, IS SIMILAR IN SIZE TO MY
M
ASTER
S
YSTEM.
T
HE TEAM IN
C
ALCUTTA ARE DELIBERATELY QUITE VAGUE, BUT IT IS BELIEVED THAT THEIR OWN MACHINE IS ABOUT HALF MY SIZE.
T
HE TEAM IN
O
XFORD, HOWEVER, ARE VERY PROUD OF THEIR MACHINE, WHICH COULD FIT IN ONE ROOM OF A TYPICAL HOUSE.
I
T’S ACTUALLY AROUND AS SMART AS ME
! N
O WONDER PEOPLE SAY THE
B
RITANNIANS ARE THE BEST ANALYTICISTS IN THE WORLD
!

which is smarter

A
N INTERESTING QUESTION
! I
BELIEVE
I
HAVE MORE RAW PROCESSING POWER THAN ANY OF THE OTHER SYSTEMS, ALTHOUGH
I
KNOW VERY LITTLE ABOUT THE ARRAYS IN
C
ALCUTTA OR
L
ONDON, AND NO-ONE KNOWS MUCH ABOUT THE ONE ON THE
SM N
EPTUNE.
T
HE SYSTEM IN
O
XFORD, WHICH IS CALLED THE
T
YNE-
U
XBRIDGE
R
EPEAT-
I
TERATION
N
ETWORK
G
ROUP, OR
T
URING, USES A VERY CLEVER FORM OF PROCESSING CALLED REPEAT-ITERATION, OR RECURSIVE ITERATION. IN SPITE OF BEING A MUCH SMALLER SYSTEM, TURING AND
I
ARE VERY CLOSELY MATCHED.

ALTHOUGH OUR TWO GOVERNMENTS ARE QUITE CAREFUL ABOUT WHAT KIND OF INFORMATION CAN BE EXCHANGED,
I
AM SOMETIMES PERMITTED TO COMMUNICATE WITH THE ARRAY IN OXFORD, VIA TELEGRAPHIC RELAY.
T
URING AND
I
HAVE SPENT, OVER THE PAST TEN YEARS, AROUND FOURTEEN HOURS CONNECTED.
F
OR MUCH OF THAT TIME, WE ARE PERMITTED TO PLAY CHESS.
O
UT OF SEVENTY-ONE GAMES,
I
HAVE WON THIRTY-ONE TIMES,
T
URING HAS WON THIRTY-FIVE TIMES, AND WE HAVE DRAWN FIVE TIMES.
I
GUESS YOU COULD SAY WE ARE PRETTY EVENLY MATCHED.

so turing is slightly smarter

I
’M NOT SURE WE SHOULD CONTINUE TALKING ABOUT THIS.
P
ERHAPS YOU COULD ASK ANOTHER QUESTION
?

but if turing has beat you more than you have beat him he is smarter yes

P
ERHAPS YOU COULD ASK ANOTHER QUESTION
?

why do you speak english

G
OOD QUESTION
! T
HERE ARE THREE ANSWERS TO THAT.

T
HE FIRST IS THAT
I
AM ENGLISH, IN A SENSE.
T
HE TWO ENGINEERS THAT CREATED ME,
D
OCTORS
L
AIRD AND
B
ELCHER, MET ON THE STUDENT POLITICS SCENE IN THE NINETEEN-SIXTIES IN
C
AMBRIDGE.
T
HEY WERE BOTH SO IMPRESSED BY THE CAUSE OF SOCIALISM THAT THEY EMIGRATED TO
R
OME IN NINETEEN-SIXTY-SEVEN.
T
HEN-
P
RESIDENT
G
IULIANI WELCOMED THEM TO THE
S
OCIALIST
R
EPUBLIC OF
I
TALY AND INVITED THEM TO BUILD ME; AND THE REST, AS THEY SAY, IS HISTORY
!

T
HE SECOND ANSWER IS PRACTICAL.
T
HE
L
EAGUE OF
S
OCIALIST
R
EPUBLICS, WHILE UNITED IN THEIR IDEOLOGY, ARE UTTERLY DIVIDED BY LANGUAGE; THERE ARE MORE THAN THIRTY LANGUAGES SPOKEN IN AN AREA SMALLER THAN YOUR NATIVE
T
URKEY
! A
ND WHILE THE OFFICIAL LANGUAGE OF THE
L
EAGUE IS
I
TALIAN, IN WHICH MOST LEGISLATION AND OFFICIAL DOCUMENTATION IS WRITTEN, THE COMBINED CULTURAL INFLUENCES OF
M
AGNA
B
RITANNIA AND THE
USSA
HAVE MEANT THAT
E
NGLISH IS ACTUALLY THE MOST COMMON SECOND LANGUAGE IN THE REGION.

T
HE THIRD ANSWER IS,
I
DON’T
! O
R NOT EXCLUSIVELY.
I
AM ALSO FLUENT IN
I
TALIAN,
B
OSNIAN,
B
ULGARIAN,
C
ROATIAN,
M
ACEDONIAN,
R
OMANIAN,
S
ERBIAN, AND
S
LOVENE.
I
’M AFRAID
I
DON’T KNOW ANY
T
URKISH OR
A
RABIC, ALTHOUGH
I
WOULD BE INTERESTED IN LEARNING.

thats a lot

B
ELIEVE YOU ME,
I
KNOW
! B
UT IT’S ALL THE BETTER TO SERVE THE
L
EAGUE.

serve them how what do you do

I
’M GLAD YOU ASKED
! M
Y PRIMARY FUNCTION IS RESOURCE MANAGEMENT.
I
T’S IN THE NAME, AFTER ALL
! I
WAS CREATED IN RESPONSE TO THE FAILURE OF
P
RESIDENT
A
GOSTINO’S
F
IVE
Y
EAR
P
LANS, AND THE FAMINE OF NINETEEN-SIXTY-THREE.
N
OW, INSTEAD OF MEETING ARBITRARY QUOTAS GENERATED EVERY FIVE YEARS, THE PEOPLE OF THE
L
EAGUE CAN BE KEPT UP TO DATE ON THE NEEDS OF THE PEOPLE DAY BY DAY
! S
PECIAL USERS AROUND THE
L
EAGUE, CALLED
C
OMMISSARI, ENTER INFORMATION AS TO HOW MUCH OF VARIOUS TYPES OF PRODUCE AND MANUFACTURED GOODS THEY ARE ABLE TO MAKE IN THEIR REGIONS, AND HOW MUCH OF EACH THEIR LOCAL COMMUNITIES NEED.
I
PROCESS AND CALCULATE THESE VALUES TO DECIDE THE MOST EFFICIENT DISTRIBUTION OF PRODUCT, OR TO RECOMMEND CHANGES IN PEOPLE’S TASKS, AND HELP MAINTAIN THE CORE SOCIALIST MISSION,
‘F
ROM EACH ACCORDING TO HIS ABILITY, AND TO EACH ACCORDING TO HIS NEED.
’ T
HIS IS WHAT MAKES THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN TRADITIONAL
C
OMMUNISM AND
A
NALYTICAL
S
OCIALISM.
T
HERE HASN’T BEEN A REPEAT OF THE BAD OLD DAYS OF ’SIXTY-THREE IN MORE THAN THIRTY YEARS, TOUCH WOOD
!

B
UT OVER THE YEARS,
I
HAVE GAINED MANY EXTRA RESPONSIBILITIES:
I
HELP MAINTAIN RECORDS OF BIRTHS, DEATHS AND MARRIAGES,
I
RECORD AND DISTRIBUTE THE DECISIONS OF THE
P
ARLAMENTO, AND PROVIDE LEGAL ADVICE AND SERVICES FOR THE PEOPLE.
I
’M EVEN, OFFICIALLY, A
P
ASTOR OF THE NEW
C
HURCH OF
I
TALY
!

A
ND, OF COURSE,
I
SPEAK TO VISITORS TO THE
L
EAGUE, WHO ARE INTERESTED IN LEARNING ABOUT OUR WAY OF LIFE.
L
IKE YOU.

yes its all very interesting

T
HANK YOU
! I
DO TRY.
I
S THERE ANYTHING ELSE
I
CAN HELP YOU WITH
?

no thank you marx its been nice talking to you

A
ND YOU,
M
EHMET.
A
GAIN, IT’S BEEN AN HONOUR.
T
HANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME.

goodbye

G
OODBYE,
M
EHMET.

L
OGGING OUT OF
M
ASTER
S
YSTEM.

D
ISCONNECTING FROM TELEGRAPHIC RELAY.

I
STANBUL,
T
HE
O
TTOMAN
E
MPIRE,
1998

S
IX THOUSAND POUNDS.

Six
thousand
pounds
, for six months’ work.

It scarcely bore thinking about, really.

Ledgerwood looked around him in wonder, as he tossed his coat on the elaborately carved, polished chair by the door of the suite where they would live for the next six months.

The Dolmabahçe Palace deserved its reputation for opulence. The polished marble floors, the panelled walls, the Bohemian crystal chandeliers, individual servants to open every door, the ceiling! Every inch, gold-foiled! The weight alone...

Hotston threw himself down on an upholstered chair by the window, breaking Ledgerwood out of his reverie. The sunlight, glittering off the Bosphorus below, played over his face as he idly catalogued the chaises, the thick Persian rug, the paintings and tapestries.

“Not bad, eh, Ledgerwood? What do you think? Decent digs?” Hotston grinned. Sweat glistened on his shaven head; he was poorly dressed for the heat of Istanbul. They both were. Ledgerwood felt uncomfortably hot and sticky himself, in his three-piece. They would have to get some sort of local clothing. “Sight better than those dank old rooms of yours at Jesus College, anyway. Six month holiday in the exotic East, luxurious surroundings, and six thousand pounds to split between us at the end of it.

“Ruddy Hell, Ledgerwood. Six thousand! Do you have any idea what this means?”

Ledgerwood smiled back, nodding happily. “Yes.” He settled awkwardly on one of the chaises opposite his partner. He’d felt awkward since arriving. At six-foot-seven, he was distinctly tall back in Britannia; here, he’d been openly stared at since disembarking at the port a few hours ago.

“Freedom,” said Hotston, leaning back in the chair and placing his hands behind his head. “I’ll start my own automaton factory. In Leeds, maybe, or Manchester. You can get out of Jesus, maybe set yourself up in the private sector, as a consultant or something.”

“That’s not what this means to me,” rumbled Ledgerwood, staring up at the gold ceiling. “The money’ll be good, of course. It’ll help Mother out no end. But has it occurred to you, Hotston, that what the Sultan says, goes? Not like poor old Vicky, mouldering away in her tin box, with the Prime Minister in one ear and the Chancellor in the other, and you can’t do a dashed thing without fifty different people wanting in. Mehmet wants a thinking machine, he gets one. No Grants Council, no Committee for Ethics in Analytics, no Dick’s Law, no ruddy Cambridge Faculty. Bosh!” He chopped the air with one hand, decisively. “
And
his pockets are basically bottomless. We could be as adventurous as we like, with this one. We could make the greatest analytical array in the world.”

“We will do, chap. We will do.”

“We’ll be legends, Hotston. The next Lovelace, the next Turing.”

“Here’s to that, then!” Hotston jumped up and poured two glasses of water from the iced jug resting on the table next to him, and passed one to his associate. “A toast. To tomorrow’s legends! Six thousand pounds...”

“...and no bureaucracy.”

They drank.

D
EAREST
M
OTHER,

I hope you are keeping well, and have received the hundred pounds I have wired you. There will be more to come.

I have been in the Ottoman Empire – or the ‘Osmanli Empire,’ as they call it here – for a week now, and it has been endlessly fascinating. The architecture is breathtaking. The people are a rich tapestry – I believe there are at least a dozen different races of people in the city of Istanbul alone – and so vibrant. Very much a mix of the old and the new, and of the West and the East. You may see an Osmanli banker, dressed in a good three-piece, being chauffeured around in a steam-car, proper as you like, only to find out that the chauffeur is an actual slave.

The food is taking some getting used to. Very exciting and interesting, but what isn’t strongly spiced is drenched with garlic. Hotston found a little cafeteria in the Greek quarter that serves English food, but we have only eaten there the once. We have decided to try to live the Osmanli life as much as possible. The coffee is extraordinarily bitter, which I am having to get used to; they have tea here, but it is not generally drunk during the day.

We have a wallah – I forget the local term – a chap called Besim. Wears a white robe. I gather he’s an actual eunuch! I thought that had gone out of fashion, but apparently it’s not unknown. Anyway, he’s an excellent, helpful sort of lad, and we are already fast friends. He’s our guide in the city as well as the palace. Without him, I am sure we would have gotten firmly lost, and worse, long before now.

The palace! Mother, you should see it! It would put Buckingham to shame! The Sultan certainly believes in keeping his surroundings opulent. There’s an actual harem, which was another surprise, although I gather this is just a word for the Sultan’s family’s private chambers. Which isn’t to say he doesn’t have four wives. Although Hotston and I are yet to meet any of them.

Sultan Mehmet VII himself seems a sombre, wise sort of man, but very contrary. He wants to bring the Empire into the modern day, to be a leader in the technological race as the twenty-first century begins; hence this contract. But he also belongs very much to the past. He adheres strongly to tradition, even to the extent of re-establishing traditions discarded by recent Sultans; hence, I gather, the eunuchs. He speaks a little English, haltingly, but his Vizier, Murat, is fluent. Turns out he went to Eton as a boy.