The Two Devils (7 page)

It took me a moment to recover from her kiss. I staggered down the marble steps and climbed aboard the chariot. We had only gone a short ways when a glob of brown stuff landed on the head of the boy right in front of me, the last in the line of pullers. Ellul reared back his powerful arm and hurled a fireball. I had not been all that impressed with these fireballs before, but this one struck some bloke square in the chest, knocking him down. The flames engulfed him and he ran away screaming in the direction of the big fiery lake.

Unconcerned with the recent event Ellul asked, “You like angel? You like Janus?"

"Yes, I like her. How could I not like her?” My knees were still weak, just from her kiss.

"She has the job that should go to a demon,” he said. I couldn't tell if he was jealous or simply filling me in.

"I'm told the angel Buffy has a similar job in heaven.” I didn't want to upset him, but I saw a real opportunity to get some answers about things mortals, like me, usually just guess at.

"Buffy has the job that would go to a cherub,” Ellul said. “She is only an angel. We don't have archangels in hell, but in heaven, she's even over them. When Mister found out God had made Buffy his secretary, Janus was suddenly his secretary. He never even had a secretary before then. No one ever wants to see him."

"Oh.” I was completely at a loss for words. “God sent his own secretary to see me on Earth?"

"No. She was sent to find the angel Ralph,” Ellul said.

That deflated my head a little bit.

"Buffy very pretty,” he said as he yanked the reins and the boys pulling us increased their pace. He was right about that, too.

Paul and Ellul's horse were both waiting right where we'd left them.

We were soon out of the railroad tunnel and on our way back to Stockton.

I had to barber the next day, so I caught up with Ellul at his campsite that evening. I had a whole weekend off. It wasn't payday anywhere, and the regular customers refused to let me cut their hair, so the boss threw in an extra day. I hoped we could get this over by then. “So, how do we find him?” I asked.

He pointed out at the water. “There's the river. We wait until he comes by,” Ellul said.

"That's it? What if he doesn't come by? We've got a drawing of him,"

I argued. “We can ask questions."

"I don't look like you,” Ellul replied. “I scare people. People are afraid of demons."

He had a point. The only reason I hadn't run away from him when I first saw him was on account of my foot being stuck under the ore track.

"Well, how about I ask around, and you can wait here and keep an eye on the river?"

"Okay.” He found a log to sit on and just sat there by the water.

Paul and I headed for town. Most of my customers had been ranchers. The river folk seldom came to our barbershop to be butchered by the likes of me. We'd only made it a few miles when I dang near fell off my horse.

There was a beautiful blonde woman lying on top of a rock. We were right next to her. I wanted to politely exit the situation, but Paul completely ignored my tugs on the reins. He went over to her. I had no choice but to go along. When she rolled over onto her back, I realized it was Buffy. She opened her eyes and looked at me.

"The sun is so nice. In heaven, I get so little time to just stretch out in the sun like this.” She sat up.

"Uh, yeah, but I don't mind, really.” It made no sense, but it's what babbled out.

"Miles, mortals can't see angels, unless we want them to,” Buffy explained. “Problem is, once an angel has revealed herself to you, we can't conceal ourselves anymore. Thanks to Janus, I can't hide from you. Everyone else would've just ridden on by."

"It was Paul that noticed you,” I blabbered out.

She climbed off her rock and adjusted her pretty blue dress. “I was waiting by the river, hoping an old friend would drop by."

"You mean Ralph?” I asked.

"You know about him?” She seemed somewhat alarmed.

"Sure, Ellul's down the river doing the same thing.” I wondered if that was a wise admission. “I was going into town, to ask around."

"How did you get involved in this?” she cautiously asked me. “I thought you were working as a shaver or barber or something."

"Nick asked me to help find him.” I decided to hold off telling her about the killing him part.

"I think you're going to get into deep trouble some day if you keep working with that bunch,” Buffy warned. “What did he offer you?"

I shrugged. “Nothing. It's more of a favor."

That brought a very puzzled expression to her face, but she said nothing. “Can I ride with you?"

"Sure."

She climbed up behind me and put her arms around my waist. It was not at all unpleasant. Her hair did not smell like shit, either. “Miles, you have an advantage in finding Ralph. Angels can sense when another one of us is around."

"And I'm not an angel,” I said, always stating the obvious. “But I can see them."

"Exactly.” She kind of gave me a little squeeze. Then she eased up and tapped my sidearm. “I had a horrible thought. What kind of bullets are you carrying in there?"

"The ones Nick gave me,” I replied. “Titan something."

"Titanium?” Her voice seemed a little higher.

"That's it."

"Nick gave you Titanium bullets? You realize that Nick himself is vulnerable to them? And he just gave them to you?"

I had not really thought of that. “Yep, just handed them over.” I could kill the devil. It was an intriguing idea. But Nick had been pretty good to me.

"Miles, no matter what happens, you must destroy those bullets when this is over—no matter what. Promise me,” she demanded. “Promise."

"You don't want me to shoot Nick?"

"No, absolutely not. Hell is a terrible place, and Nick is an unbelievable jerk. But, can you imagine what it would be like if he wasn't there to keep order? Until God says to kill him, and only then, don't even think about it. Understand?"

"Okay,” I agreed. “It had never even occurred to me that I could shoot Nick until she'd brought it up.

She gave me another squeeze. “I sure hope we don't have to kill him. Nick must think we will."

"Where do we look?” I asked.

"The wharf area. I hope he's not upstairs with a saloon girl."

"Why's that?” I asked, without thinking.

"Angles, copulating with mortals, it makes me sick just thinking about it.” After a few seconds went by, she added, “Oh no, Miles. Well, I still feel that way. I guess Janus would've seduced you by now."

"She does that often?"

"No. Only when she gets out,” Buffy said.

"I did it with Mabel, too.” I wasn't bragging. I just figured she should know.

She squeezed me again. “It's pretty hard to resist something as pretty as Janus, I suppose.” That was an understatement.

I pulled back on Paul's reins. “He's here."

"What?” Buffy asked, seeming startled. “You're sure?” She looked around. “How do you know?"

"He's sitting on the porch reading the newspaper.” I pointed at the boarding house across the street. It was too expensive, or I'd be living there. Ralph was sitting in a rocking chair on the porch perusing a copy of the Sacramento
Sun
. Out of town papers often made their way up and down the river.

"Oh.” Buffy slid down.

I followed her.

"Ain't going back,” the angel Ralph declared. He looked at Buffy. “It's been a long time."

"I don't have much reason to go to hell, Ralph,” Buffy replied. She looked over at me. “This is Miles."

"I know who he is,” Ralph said. “Nick's little errand boy."

"Nick's little errand boy was sent here to kill you,” Buffy pointed out. “You can't just live here. It's not right."

"I work on a barge. Who am I hurting?” Ralph asked. “I keep a real plain and simple life."

"Mortals. This is their world, not yours,” Buffy said. “It's just not allowed. And you know it."

Ralph neatly folded up his newspaper and placed it on the spotless wooden floor. Then he stood up. “I ain't going back, Buffy. Hell, it didn't turn out like we'd hoped. Nick, he's just another egomaniac trying to outdo God."

"You can either go back to hell, or you can come up to heaven and plead your case with God. That's it. You have no other choices,” Buffy said.

"Odd, Nick and God being on the same side,” Ralph said.

"Odd or not, which is it going to be?” she asked.

"Neither.” And he was off. Boy could he run fast.

He was at least a hundred yards down the road before I could get back in the saddle. I was confident no matter how fast this renegade angel could trot along, Paul could go faster. We soon were bearing down on him.

Then, he jumped right into the Sacramento River and started swimming. In spite of my commands and pleas, Paul showed no willingness to go into the water to chase after him.

I ran along on foot for a ways, then jumped into a boat. I was able to row fast enough to keep him from gaining on me, yet I could not generate enough speed to overtake him. I did not really know how long this would go on, as I was not chasing any ordinary man. So, for the better part of an hour, I rowed and he swam. Then, all of a sudden, I heard a yelp out of him, and he disappeared below the waves in a flurry of bubbles. By the time I arrived upon the last location, all was quiet, and there was no sign of him anyplace. I sat there in the river for a few minutes, then I realized this point was quite familiar to me. It was where Ellul had camped out.

Sure enough, a bunch of foamy bubbles soon appeared near the bank and Ellul and Ralph emerged from the water. Ellul had him by his privates. I was assuming males had privates, the females certainly did. And he threw the angel down on the bank hard. I rowed over and beached the boat. Buffy soon arrived at the scene on Paul.

"What do we do with him now?” I asked.

"I ain't going back,” Ralph insisted.

"Give me the gun,” Ellul demanded.

"Don't do it, Miles,” Buffy warned. “Remember what I said."

The angel Ralph looked at me. “Well, you gonna shoot me or what?"

"You willing to go back to hell?” I asked him.

He folded his arms defiantly. “No."

I drew the revolver out of the holster. “Then I guess I'll have to."

"Miles, don't,” Buffy warned.

"He won't go back to hell.” I cocked the hammer back. “Sorry pal."

Then there was a flurry of air all around us, and everything bristled with static electricity.

In a flash, both Buffy and Ralph were gone. I holstered the weapon. “Heck, I tossed them bullets into the river long time ago, Ellul. I couldn't of hurt him none if I'd wanted to."

"What happened to him?” Ellul asked. He usually knew more than I did.

"I think Buffy took him back to heaven.” I'd sensed all along Buffy wanted to bring him back to heaven even though Ralph wasn't particularly welcome there. Maybe she had a thing for him once!

"Mister won't like it,” Ellul said.

I shrugged my shoulders. “Tell him to take it up with God. Ain't nothing we can do about it."

Ellul climbed up on his horse. “I go scare some children, then go back to hell."

"Sounds like a plan,” I agreed.

He tossed me a book—a hardcover book that looked brand new. Such things are a rarity out west. “Janus said to give this to you if you were still alive."

I thumbed through it. The title was
Two Little Farm Wives
. While the title seemed innocent enough, the author was some French guy. And some other French guy translated it to English. “Well, we'll see you, Ellul."

He shook his head. “Angels. Humans."

I looked at the titanium bullets. I'd lied to Ellul. I still had them. I should have thrown them into the river. I did not. I put them in my saddlebags, instead. No other decision would have such a profound impact in my life over the next year as that one.

I started back for town. I had hair to cut in the morning. There was supposed to be a bunch of soldiers coming through. They never let me cut hair for the locals, just people passing through. I figured I'd be busy, for once.

Mrs. Bunyan served up a lamb stew. I ate a hearty portion, then I retired to my room. The French novel, it turned out, was something a naive farm boy from Kansas maybe shouldn't read. I found myself blushing by the third page—and I was alone. I read the first chapter, then drifted off to sleep.

The next day was uneventful. I cut hair on ten heads and did four shaves, only drawing blood once. The boss was right pleased with me that day. Then, I got home and relaxed on the swing on Mrs. Bunyan's front porch. Mrs. Bunyan kept peering at me through the window. Finally, she came outside.

"Mr. O'Malley.” She stared at me for a moment. “Mr. O'Malley, I was cleaning your room today.” She held out
Two Little Farm Wives
. “I had no idea you read such filth."

I shrugged. “I'll pack my things."

"No, it's not that.” She stared at me again. “Could I borrow it?"

"Sure.” That evening, I got a really huge piece of apricot cobbler. Then, I went to bed.

Aside from me, there were three other boarders—all elderly. Charlotte and Ethel Browning had both murdered their husbands, who were both cousins, by nagging them to death—according to the third lodger, Charles Fanning, a retired sea captain who'd given up in 1850, after he couldn't hire a crew for a return voyage to Boston. Back then, all the inbound sailors took off and went looking for gold.

Having gorged myself on food that evening, I found an urgent requirement to visit the backyard privy at around one in the morning. I passed Charlotte Browning, asleep on the parlor sofa, with an empty bottle of sherry on the floor. About the time I arrived at the privy, my brain recollected it was my book resting on her lap.

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Once I completed my business, I quietly returned inside. Now, in addition to Charlotte, I sensed another presence. I was chilled right down to the bone when I saw what lurked in the parlor. If I hadn't just gotten rid of it, I'd have had poop where it shouldn't be.