The Twilight of Lake Woebegotten (23 page)

I considered. I might be able to bait her into a trap of my own, with Garnett and Pleasance laying in wait… but vampires can
sense
each other. If Gretchen realized I was setting her up, I had no doubt she’d kill Harry. Why wouldn’t she? I’d squish a bug to get what I want, and humans are just bugs compared to things like Gretchen.

It would be inconvenient if Harry died. I wasn’t eighteen yet, so I’d have to go back home with Mom… and away from Edwin. Plus, Mom would be unbearably over-protective if Harry got
murdered
, or even just vanished. She’d never let me out of her sight, because Mom is a great one for shutting barn doors after the horses are already long escaped and halfway to Mexico. Then again, I’d trade Harry’s life in a moment to save my own. (Sure, he was my dad, and he’d given me life, but gratitude only goes you so far.) But if Gretchen did get wind of some other vamps laying an ambush for her, she’d probably kill Harry
and
run away, leaving me with no dad and a homicidal supernatural ex-girlfriend still on the loose. Family was important to Edwin, too, so if I let Harry get killed, he’d probably think badly of me, and I didn’t want that.

My options seemed pretty limited, honestly. But maybe I could stall for time and hope inspiration would strike.

“Okay,” I said.

“Great. Meet me behind the high school—”

I snorted. “Are you stupid, bitch? The Scullens have the whole town under surveillance, keeping an eye out for you and yours. Edwin can
see through people’s eyes
. You think he’s not checking in with the good people of Lake Woebegotten every once in a while? We can’t meet here.”

“Then what do you suggest?” she said coolly.

Then I got it. The idea. The perfect place. So I told her.

“Hmm,” she said. “Why should I let you choose the place?”

“Hello. You have my dad. Isn’t the whole point of a hostage to compel my good behavior?”

“Fine,” she snapped. She really wasn’t too smart—or else she thought I was dumb. “You come, then, and I’ll set your father free. Maybe I won’t even kill you. Perhaps I’ll just take your eyes, or your legs, or mess up your pretty face, and make you less desirable to Edwin.”

Yeah, right. As if. “Uh huh. I bet. You know, Gretch, it’s not very impressive for you to get so hung up over some boy. Kind of pathetic, actually.”

“His betrayal led me into a life of misery!” she shouted. “You have no
idea
what he put me through! I can’t strike at him directly, he’s too strong, but I can hurt him through
you!
” A pause. “I’m sorry. I really am. It’s not your fault. It’s nothing personal, really. But you’re the only weapon I have to use against him. Come willingly, and I’ll spare your father, and make it quick. I don’t really want you to suffer. But if you try anything…”

“Yes, fine, consider all the threats read. Shit. All right. I sort of figured my days were numbered—you don’t date a vampire if you want a healthy life expectancy—but I was hoping I’d at least get killed while Edwin was screwing my brains out, so I could enjoy myself. This isn’t my ideal way to go.”

“Life’s a bitch,” she said.

“And so are you.”

“You’re making me
want
to make you suffer now,” she growled. “How soon can you be there?”

“Well, I have to elude vampire surveillance. Any suggestions for that?”

“Burn your own house down and escape in the confusion. Good distraction, there.”

I sighed. “I’ll think of something and then travel a hell of a distance, so give me a couple of hours.”

“Fine.” She hung up the phone.

I thought for a while. Then I made another call.

BEACHES

FROM THE JOURNAL OF BONNIE GRAYDUCK

S
neaking out wasn’t that tough, really. I turned off all the lights and put some pillows in the bed so it would look like there was a human shape under the covers (which looks a lot more convincing in the movies, I’ll tell you). Then I got all bundled up—the nights were getting cold, and I’d want a hood and scarf to conceal my face—and went down into the basement, then up the stairs to the exterior cellar entrance, which is conveniently located on the side of the house, where I didn’t think Garnett or Pleasance were watching. I crept out quietly, leaving the door open rather than risking the noise of closing it again. Getting raccoons or whatever in the basement was the least of my worries. The fog would help conceal me, but I was still trying to sneak away from a couple of apex predators who were making a point of watching me, so I went slow and careful, trying to avoid where I thought maybe Garnett might possibly be.

Walking in the woods, in the fog, in the dark, is tough for ordinary mortals, but I slogged along. At least I have an awesome sense of direction. I made it out to Fincher Road as planned, and waited in a ditch until I heard the rumble of a car engine. It was an old truck, about half the size of my beloved Marmon, and the driver was looking around into the dark. I stepped out and waved, and the truck stopped. I hurried to the passenger side and slipped in, but kept my hood up.

“Are you okay, Bonnie?” Joachim Noir said.

“Yes,” I said. “Don’t look at me, okay?” I didn’t want to risk Edwin looking through Joachim’s eyes and seeing where I was.

“Dad told me,” he said, grumpy. “Though he didn’t say
why
. What the heck’s going on?”

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you,” I said.

“Try me.”

I sighed. “Okay. Your elders are telling the truth about wendigos—well, about
vampires
, anyway. They exist. And one of them is after me.”

“Uh. Seriously?” He kept glancing at me, sidelong, but I was sufficiently hidden in my hood, I thought it was okay.

“Entirely seriously.”

“But, wait, does that mean
Edwin
…”

“Is a vampire,” I confirmed.

“That bastard! If he tries to hurt you—”

“No, no, he’s not the vampire who’s after me. It’s… actually his ex-girlfriend. She’s got some issues.”

“Whoa,” Joachim said. “This is pretty crazy, Bonnie. Are you sure… I mean, are you sure they’re not just screwing with you? Trying to trick you?”

“What does your dad think?”

“He took it pretty seriously,” Joachim said. “When you called, I was so happy to hear from you, and then you wanted to talk to my
dad
, I couldn’t believe it, I thought something happened to Harry.”

“Well. Something did. The vampire has him. She said if I don’t meet her—to let her kill
me
—she’ll kill him.”

“Holy what the crap!” he shouted. “My dad never tells me
anything
! So, what, you’re going to hide out at the rez, and then… what?”

I wasn’t sure how much Willy Noir had told him, and there was a lot I didn’t know myself, so I just shook my head. “I don’t know. I just know I need help. Edwin’s family was trying to help me, but vampires can sense each other, so if they go after Gretchen, I’m afraid she’ll hurt Harry. I thought your people… enemies of the wendigo and all… I thought they could help.”

“Anything I can do, I will. Assuming this isn’t all just some incredibly elaborate prank.”

“I wouldn’t mess with you like that, Joachim,” I said. “You’re my friend.” And the thing was… he
was
. Now, I’m not saying I was
his
friend. I wouldn’t hesitate to throw him at Gretchen just to slow her down if she came after the two of us, don’t get me wrong, I’m not
sentimental
, but I’d never doubted for a moment that he’d help me if I called, whether because he had a crush on me or was just a genuinely nice guy or both, but it did give me a certain fondness toward him, and I wouldn’t waste his life if I could avoid it.

We drove in silence for a while, back to the reservation, down the same dirt roads I’d taken on that trip to the beach where I first met Joachim, seemingly so long ago. He pulled into the dirt quasi-parking lot just up from the beach, which was empty. “So what are we doing here?” Joachim said. “Dad just told me to get you and drive you over here as soon as I could. What now?”

“Now,” I said, “I go walk down by the beach, and hope this works the way I planned.”

“That sure clears things up. I’m going with you,” Joachim said.

I shook my head. “I’m not sure your dad would like that. This woman—she’s not a woman, she’s a monster—is dangerous.” I’d dealt with my share of pissed-off ex-girlfriends before, but never one who could literally drain the blood from my body using nothing but her teeth. It occurred to me that my plan was very likely suicidal—I was betting on a lot of assumptions. I’m cautious, meticulous, a planner—but I just didn’t have
time
, so I had to take a calculated risk.

“Too bad. I’m not letting you go alone.” Joachim was cute when he got stubborn—little furrows popped up in his forehead.

“Okay,” I said.

We got out of the truck, and he rummaged around under a tarp in the back and came out holding…

“Are those nun-chucks?” I said. Though I wasn’t surprised. Joachim really
was
a teenage boy, while Edwin just looked like one.

“Don’t laugh,” he warned, and did a complicated swoopy move with his nun-chucks, which looked like a couple of dowels with eye-bolts screwed into the ends, linked by a piece of chain. “I’m badass with these.”

The image of Joachim beating up Gretchen with a pair of nun-chucks was pretty funny, but also improbable. “My protector,” I said, surprised I was able to tease at a time like this… but maybe you feel more alive when you’re pretty close to getting killed.

I walked down to the beach, looking around, though I knew if Gretchen wanted to, she could easily stay hidden from the likes of me. The moon was big and full, and there was no magical fog here, so the water was ashimmer with reflective diamonds… and I realized it looked a lot like my dream, the one I’d had of Edwin and a great beast.
God
, I thought
, don’t let my mom’s bullcrap about dreaming the future be true.
Though it’d have to be only metaphorically true, since as far as I knew Edwin was way the hell across the country. But that’s the whole dream schtick, isn’t it?

“Bonnie!” I recognized Harry’s voice instantly, though it seemed to be coming from out on the lake, which seemed impossible, unless there was a
boat
, like in my dream—

There was indeed a boat, a little rowboat, and it came into view, but Harry wasn’t in it. Just Gretchen, with her long hair streaming in the breeze, pulling at the oars and making the boat skip across the water like one of the stones Joachim had thrown last time I was here.

“Bonnie!” Harry’s voice called, and my heart sank, because it was Gretchen’s mouth opening: my dad’s voice, emerging from her throat. Which meant this was all a trick, Harry wasn’t captured, and I could’ve had Pleasance and Jasper jump this bitch and beat her down. Oh well. I felt dumb, but I’d have felt a lot worse if I’d really intended to sacrifice myself to save my dad—like
that
would ever happen.

Gretchen rowed the boat right up onto the sandy/rocky shore and climbed out. “What, didn’t Edwin tell you?” she said. “It’s a little gift I had—mimicry. I used to make fun of people all the time, you know, doing little sarcastic impressions, it used to crack Edwin
up
. You should see my Rosemarie impression. Though it’s less about the voice than looking down my nose, even at people who are taller than me. Anyway, when I crossed over to vamp-hood, I carried that ability with me, only so much better! I can sound like anybody. I just called up the police station, listened to your papa’s voice on the recording there—and by the way, what kind of cop shop just has an
answering
machine, really?—and boom, I had his voice down. The power’s great, really awesome for luring in prey… sort of like I lured
you
. And I see you brought a little friend. Pretty dumb, Bonnie. Ha. Dumb Bonnie. Like ‘dumb bunny,’ huh? Good nickname for you, except, oh wait, dead people don’t need nicknames.”

Joachim yelled and ran toward her, nun-chucks spinning, and she just swatted him aside without even looking. He landed in the sand near the water and groaned, but didn’t sit up. Oh well. Sweet of him to try. Good thing I hadn’t been counting on him to save me.

Gretchen took a step toward me. “And that shit I said about not making you suffer, Bonnie? Not exactly true. Edwin’s
mine
. He belongs with me. He just doesn’t realize it yet. Getting rid of you might help clarify his mind.”

I was afraid, I admit it—the way anyone would be, with a rattlesnake staring at them, ready to bite—but I kept my voice level and my back straight. “Of course, nothing makes a boy love you like killing his girlfriend.”

She showed her teeth—and, yep, she had fangs, they sprouted right then, each as long as a forefinger, yuck. “Getting rid of the competition is always a good way to win, little girl.”

“Yes, but you did it all
wrong
. Here’s the correct way: You make it look like an accident, and then, when I’m dead, you call Edwin up, in his grief, and you’re
there
for him, you offer a consoling shoulder to cry on, you get back into his life, and you make him depend on you. You don’t murder her
and let the boy you like know you did it
. Seriously, this is like Psychopath 101, Gretchen. You are so outclassed.” Mostly, I was playing for time, but we were alone, and Joachim couldn’t hear us, so it was also an opportunity to mock and to boast. I can never resist the former, and it’s
so hard
having to constantly avoid doing the latter.

Her fangy smile faded. “What are you talking about?”

“You think you’re a monster? Amateur,” I said. “I was in your situation, back in Santa Cruz. I liked a boy, he didn’t like me, he had a stupid girlfriend. So I did a little research and figured out how to disable her brakes—” (Yes, the irony of someone, I assume Rosemarie, tampering with Marmon’s brakes was not lost on me when it happened.) “—and she went right over a cliff on the coast road. Boom, crash, bye-bye. Then I moved in on the boy for the supportive snuggles.”

Gretchen seemed interested, despite herself. “Damn. Did it work?”

I sighed. “It
was
working. But see, the stupid girl had a stupid best friend, also hot, and she and the boy had the whole
shared
grief thing going, you know? They loved her like no one else, knew her better than the rest, yadda yadda. So pretty soon the boy stopped paying attention to me, and paid attention to her instead.”