The Twelve Dates of Christmas (26 page)

‘It’s not that we don’t approve of your lifestyle, we just don’t want it pushed in our faces,’ Ellie slurred with a big, drunken wink.

‘Listen everyone,’ Emma continued. ‘Since we’ve been having a gay old time in here, quite the blizzard’s been building outside. The front desk have told us no more taxis are coming in or out, the last one left a few minutes ago, and they can’t get a gritter here until tomorrow. Ellie and I will be dancing our way into Christmas Day anyway, and if you can’t make it home they’ve offered us a handful of their rooms for free.’ She took a pause. ‘I’m really sorry.’

Reactions were split – some whooped at the continued party and free hotel room, while others huddled in worried chatter about how they were going to get home for Christmas.

Claudia turned to Nick. ‘We have to go home.’

‘I don’t think we can – no taxis. We can get a room here though; I’ll pay if the free ones are taken.’

‘No, we have to go home. I can’t condemn poor Dad to spending Christmas morning alone with Seth.’ She shuddered at the thought of Joe and Seth miserably pulling a cracker, Joe willing the toy to fly out and hit Seth in the eye. ‘I don’t know how we’re going to do it, but I have to get back tonight, blizzard or no blizzard.’

Nick peered through the window. ‘Okay. It doesn’t look like it’s snowing that heavily right now, it’s just dumped about three feet already.’

‘I’m going to walk it.’

‘Yes, you’re perfectly dressed for trudging through snow in the pitch black. Those heels have crampons, don’t they?’

‘I’ll be fine, I’m very good with cold. Sometimes I have cold showers just for the hell of it.’

‘Wow, my very own Bear Grylls. It’s not that far – I’ll carry you.’

‘You can’t carry me all the way back to the house.’ Though the thought was rather yummy. Would he carry her over his shoulder?
Calm down, Claudia.

‘I carry heavier things than you backwards and forwards across the stage every night.’

‘We’ll take it in turns.’

‘No offence, I’m all for women’s rights and equality but there’s no way you could carry me for more than about five seconds.’

‘I could try. Jump on my back.’

‘Shut your stupid face.’ He took her hand and led her to Emma and Ellie, where they said their goodbyes and thank yous, then stepped out into the freezing night air. Fat snowflakes blustered around them while Nick wrapped Claudia in both her coat and his.

‘You wear yours,’ she demanded through chattering teeth.

‘I’m already going to be wearing you, I’ll be fine.’ He crouched down, his back to her. ‘Hop on.’

Claudia climbed on to his back, shook the powdery snow from her heels and nestled her cheek against the back of his head. He set off, slow and steady, taking enormous, BFG-style footsteps through the deep snow.

‘I reckon we’ll be there in about three quarters of an hour,’ Nick called back. ‘Once we get up to the road there’ll be the streetlamps and
oof
—’ he shouldered a tree that appeared in front of them. He stumbled briefly, chuckling, with Claudia clinging on.

‘Are you sure I’m not breaking your back?’ Claudia murmured into his ear after a while.

‘Yes. I just can’t … stand …’ He started to tip forwards.

‘Stop it!’ Claudia screeched as the snow loomed close to her face.

Nick stood upright again and they continued. It was hard work, the dense snow and black night causing every step to take planning and effort. But not once did Nick complain or ask for a break. And although it was very selfish, nuzzled into the back of him was exactly where Claudia wanted to be.

Finally they reached a quiet residential street where silhouettes moved about behind curtains, stacking presents under iridescent Christmas trees. Small faces kept appearing at upstairs windows, looking up at the sky and then running back to bed. One house was holding a party, and the faint sound of Slade seeped through the windows, through which Claudia could see sparkly-dressed friends clinking champagne glasses, and one couple standing in the doorway looking at the snow. They raised their glasses at Nick and Claudia across the street. Claudia waved back.

‘You can put me down now, the snow’s much clearer here,’ she said reluctantly; she would have been quite happy to stay in this position all through the holidays.

‘We’re nearly there now. And it’s going to win major brownie points from your dad if I turn up with you on my back.’

‘You don’t need brownie points from him. He’s been hinting about you and me getting together for yonks.’

‘
Yes!
One nil to Nick.’

In no time at all they were turning onto Claudia’s driveway. Nick carried her all the way through her front door and into the living room.

He only dropped her to the ground when they came face to face with Seth.

‘What has been going on here?’ Claudia asked a guilty-looking Joe and Christine, who were standing in the corner giggling. Joe was holding Seth’s phone.

Seth was propped upright on the sofa, snoring his head off and clutching a bottle of port. In his hair were copious pastel-coloured butterfly clips hijacked from Claudia’s bedroom. His face was decorated with thick, clumsy make-up. He was draped in necklaces and clip-on earrings.

Joe stepped forward and handed Claudia Seth’s phone, which was logged on to Facebook. ‘I hope you don’t mind, love. Penny called us and warned he was coming home, and what he’d been up to at the wedding. Well he’s not going to treat my daughter like that under my own roof. So … we did this.’

Claudia scrolled back through Seth’s timeline. Joe and Christine had been busy. Photo after photo of Seth looking a far cry from the immaculate poses he only allowed online. Status updates of embarrassing ‘confessions’. Inappropriate comments on other people’s photos.

‘What’s this?’ she asked, noticing several statuses that were chunks of text.

Joe put an arm around his daughter. ‘I’m sorry sweetheart, we looked at his messages and there were rather a lot to girls, saying things a chap with a girlfriend shouldn’t be saying to others. Especially not when that girlfriend is my daughter.’

‘They’re horrible.’

‘I know, not quite the smooth-talker he thinks he is. Then I thought: these girls are someone else’s daughters – they probably have no idea what he was up to either. So I decided they, and everyone else, should know. Are you upset?’

She wasn’t. In fact, she was really quite impressed with her dad. ‘Actually I feel like I dodged a bullet.’

‘His number of friends is decreasing by the minute,’ Christine told her with pride.

Suddenly Nick burst into such loud laughter that Seth stirred and nearly woke up. ‘Joe, this one’s
amazing
.’ He held out his phone to Claudia. Seth’s profile photo had been changed to what looked uncannily like a picture of him with his willy poking out of his flies. His incredibly
tiny
willy. It already had forty-seven ‘shares’ and over a hundred ‘likes’.

‘That’s his little finger – I did that!’ Joe grinned. ‘
My pièce de résistance.
’

‘Seth’s going to be really angry,’ Claudia warned with a smile.

‘Well, I’m really angry with him,’ said Joe.

‘Me too,’ said Nick and Christine at the same time.

‘Me too,’ Claudia agreed.

‘Come on then mum,’ said Nick, turning around. ‘Your turn for a piggy back – let’s get you home for Christmas.’

‘Don’t leave yet.’ Claudia held on to his hand. ‘Dad, it’s still blizzardy out. Nick and Christine could stay here, couldn’t they?’

‘Absolutely. Don’t think you’re leaving me to deal with this on my own on Christmas morning,’ he said to Christine. ‘You’ll spend Christmas with us. I think we’d quite like a bit more of a full house, wouldn’t we?’

Claudia nodded and turned back to Nick. ‘Spend Christmas with me?’

‘Another date?
Fine.
But you can’t be lazy and sleep in tomorrow, okay? It’s the most important day of the year.’

‘Merry Christmas.’

Claudia opened her eyes to find her eyelashes pressed into Nick’s bare chest and a light dribble coming from her mouth. She’d been gripping him in her sleep, afraid of him not being there again in the morning.

‘Merry Christmas,’ she answered. ‘What time is it?’

‘Christmastime,’ he grinned. ‘It’s coming up to nine. You slept in way longer than I can on Christmas morning.’

‘Sorry, but you’re very comfortable. I think I’ll go back to sleep.’ She snuggled back down and he wriggled away from her.

‘No you will not.’ He rolled out of bed and padded across her room, throwing open the curtains like a delicious, naked illusionist.

Claudia sat up in bed and watched him. She’d already received her best Christmas present of all.

He scuttled back under the warmth of the duvet. ‘Does spending Christmas Day together count as a date?’

‘I think so. Which makes this my twelfth date of Christmas.’

‘Twelve dates?’ He whistled. ‘What a goer. “The Twelve Dates of Christmas”. Ha! See what I did there?’

There was a knock on the door.

‘Merry Christmas you two,’ Joe called. ‘Claud, your mum’s on the phone.’

A childlike rush of happiness burst through Claudia and with a quick smooch on Nick’s lips she jumped from her bed and pulled on some pyjamas. ‘Do you want to meet me downstairs when you’re dressed?’

Nick sniggered. ‘I’m naked in your dad’s house on Christmas Day. Don’t tell Jesus.’

Claudia took the phone from her dad and curled up in a window seat. Flippers was leaping in and out of the snow on the lawn below, making a fine mess.

‘Mum?’

‘Merry Christmas sweetheart! I didn’t wake you did I?’ Her mother’s voice was crystal clear and more familiar than it had ever been, despite being over ten thousand miles away.

‘No, I’d just woken up. What time is it over there?’

‘Just gone ten – it’s the end of the big day for us.’

‘Did you have a good Christmas?’

‘It was lovely – hot and sunny, same old. I do miss England at Christmas, it’s not the same here. I miss you.’

‘I miss you, too.’

‘Your dad tells me you have a new man.’

Claudia had always felt a bit funny talking to her mum about boys. Perhaps it was because her mum had always tried to be her girlfriend more than her mother, a fact that left her feeling more annoyed than happy. Even now the feeling remained a little, and she didn’t want to go into too many details. ‘It’s just Nick, do you remember him?’

‘The one who stared at you all the time? Of course.’

‘No he didn’t.’ Claudia smiled. ‘But yes, him.’

‘Seth all gone?’

Claudia glanced at the spare-room door. ‘As good as.’

‘Do you want to tell me what happened?’

‘We were just in a bit of a rut … It doesn’t matter.’

‘I get that, you wanted a new adventure.’

‘No,’ Claudia said quickly. ‘I mean yes, but it’s just a one-time thing.’

‘Sweetheart,’ her mum said softly. ‘I know you don’t want to end up like me.’

‘It’s not that I don’t want to be like you, it’s just …’ Claudia tried to form her words. ‘No matter how much adventure you had, it never seemed to be enough. You never seemed satisfied. What if I get everything I’m looking for and then start feeling in a rut again?’

‘That’s a risk you’re going to have to take. You can’t not take risks just because they might not suit you in the long run. If they’re worth taking then they’re worth taking. You think I regret for one second taking the risk of marrying your dad and having you? Just because an adventure comes to an end, or changes into something else, doesn’t mean it wasn’t worth doing.’

Claudia mulled this over. ‘I’m scared.’

‘But Claudia, you’re not me. Wanting a new adventure doesn’t mean you’re
always
going to be wanting complete lifestyle changes. You’ve never been like me in that respect. You’re able to find magic and adventure within a solid life, sharing it with other people. I know you’ve felt stuck but that’s just because that situation was wrong for you, not because you can’t ever enjoy a situation.’

‘Thanks, mum.’

‘Here’s an adventure for you. How about you and Nick visit me in New Zealand next year?’

Something fluttered inside Claudia. Her mum had invited her over many times, and while she’d been once she usually declined, always feeling resentment at having to go crawling across the world after her mum. But her bitterness was shifting. Her mum was just a person and she’d tried, in her own way. Maybe it was time.

‘You want to meet the new boyfriend?’ Claudia asked with a smile.

‘I want to meet the new you. But yes, I also want to properly meet the boyfriend. What do you reckon?’

‘I reckon that sounds perfect.’

Her mum squealed down the phone. ‘Hon, that is the best Christmas present – I can’t wait. Now you go and enjoy your day, eat lots of Christmas pudding for me, and I’ll phone you again in a couple of days and we can discuss dates.’

Claudia rung off, her mind turning to Christmas presents. Before she joined the extended family downstairs there was something she wanted to go and find.

‘No, honestly, it’s a real thing – it was even on
National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation
.’

‘But I need that for the parsnips.’

‘Let’s all just have one go and then we’ll bring it back in.’ Claudia entered the kitchen to find Nick, wearing her dad’s jumper and stonewash jeans, holding a baking tray and a bottle of spray oil. Christine was wearing an apron, hands on hips, and Joe was pulling on his hat and gloves.

‘Happy Christmas all. Nick, are you doing what I think you’re doing?’

‘Yes! Mum, Claudia’ll tell you – it’s so much fun.’

Claudia hugged Christine and her dad, wishing them a merry Christmas. ‘It really does work; a baking tray makes an excellent sledge. We tried it a couple of years back on Hampstead Heath. Dad, are you coming?’

‘Too right. Though I’ll go last because I might bend the tray.’

‘There’ll be no bending the tray; I’ll have unevenly roasted parsnips,’ said Christine.

‘Come on mum, come and have a go. This can wait.’

‘Why are you doing this anyway, Christine?’ asked Claudia. ‘You’re the guest.’